BOFH's

[Sniper]

Some of you may have seen my thread http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=450808#post450808 and so naturally Im in a bad mood.

Whats the worst you have done to a user who has just rubbed you up the wrong way? Have they offended you, told you how to do your job or my favourite, callled me stupid and I don't know what Im doing?

Well the other day the server went on the blink. Nothing to do with me this time, so all I did to troubleshoot it was restart it and if that didn't work, I might need to actually take some time off from KB to find out whats wrong and fix it. During the 15min restart I had a person from central reservations (CR) phone me (Me) up and claim that there is something wrong with the server. Well no shit, Im busy fixing it. The conversation went as follows

Me: G'day Stu speaking
CR: Yea the res program has crashed and the server is down
Me: Yep, I know, Im working on the server now.
CR: Well do you know what you are doing cause I went through Network Neighborhood to find out what programs you work with and you aren't using those that I would reccomend.
Me: OK, well who is the systems admin here?
CR: Err, you are but.....
Me: But what? Listen ............ (Her name here) I look after the computers, I make the desicions on the computers and I am the one that can make sure you cannot use the res program for a long time.....
CR: Yea well, I know something about computers.
Me: What, you can turn them on and type your name in? Want a medal.
CR: I should get Tony (Director) to come down and talk to you.
Me: Sure you want to do that? You looking at my files has just put some incriminating evidence on your hard drive to show that you are the cause for the server breaking down.
CR: WHAT?? How?
Me: Easy, but I won't help you fix it.

Much begging and pleading later

Me: Ok, so you won't play with my systems again
CR: No
ME: Ok. So to clear the files on your PC I want you to click Start, then go to run and then type regedit and hit enter.
CR: Hmmm, OK
Me: Ok, so you see there is a folder called HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT
CR: Yes, is that bad
Me: Yes very, I told everyone not to try log in as me but you didn't listen.
CR: Sorry
Me: Ok, I want you to right click that folder and hit delete. Ignore the error message and just hit yes.
CR: Ok..... Wait a......... What happened?
Me: Shows how much you know about computers, have a good one.


That was one of the best days last week. I don't think she is coming back after Xmas.

I want to hear what bastards you have been.

[flash]

what happens is you click HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT?, im guessing it wipes the computer?

[**R1**]

At my last job I let a guy put his finger in a automated Rg58(coax cable) stripper, then a year or 2 later I watched the same guy cut a live cable with metal side cutters, both times i could have easily saved him a whole bunch of hurt, but this tosser dobed me in to the boss for drinking coffee while working through the factory to my desk(big no no) I was wrong to do it but he's still a cocck....

[enigma51]

Had this new senior DBA person in at my previous job. Person got paid about 3 times my salary and I had to show her the ropes around the place so as a joke I told her after she logs in to oracle she needs to run Drop table <one of the main tables with lots and lots of data in it> (For those who dont know drop table is when you delete a whole table and traces of it)and about 3 hours later she comes to me and says I get a problem when log in evertime i run the drop command it says insufficent privileges. Yip folks she was suppose to be the senior one between the two of us!!!!

[Karma]

Why not try it and let us know.

Regedit is cool...

I'm a fan of netsend personally... popping up a message with shit about their computer is infected with porn and security is on their way. Scares the shit outta them.

[bugjuice]

lol.. top job there :niceone:

[Sniper]

what happens is you click HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT?, im guessing it wipes the computer?

Nooo, its gives you unlimited resources and free passwords for porn

[ManDownUnder]

Nooo, its gives you unlimited resources and free passwords for porn

I thought that was HKEY_CLASSY_ROOT...back to Sys Admin school for me then..

[DemonWolf]

Hmmm.. Either you have a very good relationship with your bosses.. or you just dont give a damn about your position.

Generally I've never had anyone tell me I dont know what I'm doing on this site.. though I've had snippets from Head Office IT; and general unhelpfulness. Doesn't fase me too much what they think, though if they try and boss me around.. especially Level 1 support.. in particular one female that thinks since she assigns the call's she has the power.. that's fine.. tell your boss I'm not doing my job

I've got a couple Users that get up my goat.. but I'm professional towards them.. if they feck up and dont 'own' up to it.. then yeah I've got a few nice comments for them when they try to shift the blame... but thats life.. and now everyone knows what kind of people the are... so meh

[duckman]

I work as an iSeries admin ....

Setup a user with two client access sessions connecting to the same device description ..

User logons on to the first session .. no problem ... user signs onto the second session and it automatically logs them off the 1st session .... user logs back onto the 1st session and automatically logs themselves off the second session ... around and around and around we go .... :eek:

[mv.senna]

Try being an Ambo for a living - RR and SM will probably second this. Do you know how many fucktards out there think they're orthapaedic surgeons, cardiac specialists or surgical reg's just because they've watched shorty street a few times.... fark i got fed up to the back teeth with being told how to do my job by someone who couldn't spell their own name by themselves.... but occaisionally a bit of "barrack" justice does occur, and people get what's coming....

one of my fav jobs went like this:
called to a car accident in sth akl. 2 big guys in a tiny charade (musta been mums car). drove into a parked car. not much damage, but the boys were a bit battered, and feeling v.sorry for themselves, complaining of sore ribs, and shoulders! didn't really add up. then got the heads up from the local plods, that the boys had been doing circuits past the local trannies and fafa's giving them a mouthful of shyte out the window. unfortunately the driver wasn't looking where he was going and drove into the parked car. from there, the trannies headed over and gave the boys a hiding to remember. once I found this lot out, I had the boys stand up on the side of the road (where everyone could see them) to check them out, and test their ahem, cough, range of motion. It was then that my offsider turned around from chatting to the towies and the plods, to notice that the boys were standing side by side raising and lowering their arms in a flapping motion....while hopping on the spot.... :done:

[Sniper]

Hmmm.. Either you have a very good relationship with your bosses.. or you just dont give a damn about your position.


Very good relationship with them. I promised not to impregnate his daughter.

[DemonWolf]

hahaa... I guess that helps. I must admit.. I've been very tempted to some very nasty things ....

[Sniper]

hahaa... I guess that helps. I must admit.. I've been very tempted to some very nasty things ....

You have to instil a sense of fear into them

[*sic]

Very good relationship with them. I promised not to impregnate his daughter.

damn thats the same relationship i have with my boss, cept his daughters just gone 16... im not so sure i like his terms now... summers rolling on thou!.. muhaha

/me fired.

[DemonWolf]

My Users know if they are good to me.. I'm very good to them (within reason).. they also know that they can't 'boss' me around.. my decision is final or I can make compromises with their managers if its in the interest of the company. I dont go out of my way to be nasty.. I feel I'm generally helpful and get the job done. Luckily we dont have too many 'power' hungry backstabbing type of people here.. or I'd prolly react differently.... =)

[Sniper]

Im different. On slow days I will "accidently" restart the server during a busy time of day. It keeps them all on their toes. It also creates hostilities that I tend to enjoy.

[DemonWolf]

haha.. I can remember putting our SQL server into a infinite query loop bringing it down a couple times.. all fun and games till the site manager lost some data.. whoops!

[Sniper]

all fun and games till the site manager lost some data.. whoops!

Pah thats what back-ups are for

[flash]

You have to instil a sense of fear into them

sorry, but i dont think hes worried :whistle:

[Sniper]

sorry, but i dont think hes worried :whistle:

You are just jelous you don't have socks like mine.

[flash]

You are just jelous you don't have socks like mine.

are they socks your wearing?, i was sure you had just erased your feet (look really hard and you'll see where I'm coming from :shifty:

[scumdog]

Try being an Ambo for a living - RR and SM will probably second this. Do you know how many fucktards out there think they're orthapaedic surgeons, cardiac specialists or surgical reg's just because they've watched shorty street a few times.... fark i got fed up to the back teeth with being told how to do my job by someone who couldn't spell their own name by themselves.... but occaisionally a bit of "barrack" justice does occur, and people get what's coming....

:

Get the same thing in my job, amazing how many 'bush-lawyers' and others that 'know' the law out there.
Best part is 'having a lend' of them and they don't even realise they have been 'had'!!:msn-wink:
Losers!!

[Ixion]

I work as an iSeries admin ....

Setup a user with two client access sessions connecting to the same device description ..

User logons on to the first session .. no problem ... user signs onto the second session and it automatically logs them off the 1st session .... user logs back onto the 1st session and automatically logs themselves off the second session ... around and around and around we go .... :eek:
iseries =respect.

[Ixion]

Helpdesk refuse to forward help calls to me now. Apparenty I am too harsh on the liddle lusers. I still get the calls when they cal resolve them any other way. Root == god.

[Sniper]

iseries =respect.

Nah..... :chase:

[MOTOXXX]

im looking for a helpdesk job in wellington if anyone knows of any going

[Ixion]

Nah..... :chase:


iseries is Big Blue Big Iron. that has to be respect . I only got one i'series. s??? is even more respect. I respect mainframe.

[Wolf]

Lias tends to take the jobs regarding server space and takes great delight in doing searches on MP* and obliterating people's private collections of pirated music and videos. He also hunts for software and cracks and removes them too.

I tend to be the one who deals with the email pests and delight in not merely sending those who forward hoaxes and chain letters a letter telling them not to, I call their attention to the periodic general advisaries I've sent in the past (in which I state the company policies on abuse of the email system) and tell them exactly what date and time they opened them and invite them to explain why they felt the warning did not apply to them. I also tell them who they sent the mail to within the company and who forwarded it on and inform them that owing to their actions x-number of outsiders now have the email addresses of y-number employees encapsulated in the emails they've received, which is a breach of the Privacy Policy. I also blame them for increasing the level of spam and other nuisance emails we get by broadcasting work addresses to all and sundry to be harvested by the spam merchants.

They are then informed that the next transgression will result in the immediate suspension of their email account - so far I have never had to. For some reason being told what you did, when you did it despite having read this and that on these days tends to give lesser mortals the "willies" and they start attributing magical abilities to me when "sufficiently advanced technology" is more the case.

I also gave an ISP arseholes because one of our Very Important clients was being bombarded with spurious emails all originating from the same IP address - turned out to be a virus. I found the ISP the number was registered to, sent them full details of the times it was happening and the IP address assigned and requested they get their customer to clean up their computer.

It went on for ages with me sending successively terser emails - I told them the exact virus, furnished them with the relevant headers and samples of the emails, pointed them to Symantec's page on the virus and finally offered to go and clean the damned user's computer myself if the bastard was so bloody thick he couldn't download the fix from Symantec.

They got pretty apologetic after that and assured me it would be dealt with.