Another proper England rant...

[Ixion]

It is at least less damaging to our reputation as mean tough bikers tahn the thread on lace doilies. Or the one on the correct way to make a cup of tea.:killingme

[idb]

It is at least less damaging to our reputation as mean tough bikers tahn the thread on lace doilies. Or the one on the correct way to may a cup of tea.:killingme
What about "To Pee Or Not To Pee"?

[idb]

Man, it has taken ages to read this from start to finish. Thank you MSTRS for kicking this off. I needed somewhere to let off steam on this subject. Umm, you might want to alter the title though to English rant.
So, can we get back to the real problem of piss poor grammar and spelling which is hacking me off.
It's bloody annoying having your time wasted because you have to re-read a post to decipher what the writer was trying to say. Reading a post where some twit can't put together more than four words that make sense just kills the flow of the thread and you lose interest. Not to mention that the mental picture you form of the writer would scare the Hillbillies in Deliverance.
Some people on here really need to meet Mr Apostrophe and Mrs Comma and see how they improve their lives through better understanding.
I started to post a dig at someone on another thread today by repeating their post with corrections highlighed in red, but the effort became too much. And they would probably get all upset at the personal attack.
How can people not know the difference between your and you're, brake and break or sale and sail. What the hell is 'im' to start a sentence (I'm, by the way) The list goes on.
If you can't post on an English website in English, that people can easily follow, then piss off and see if the Japanese can make better sense of your typing.
Cheers, I feel better now but there is no solution.
Welcome fellow pedant.
I'm not particularly well-educated but it seems to me (and, as I'm not particularly well-educated this carries no weight whatsoever) that, in the main, people in previous generations always left school knowing how to spell and read even if they hadn't learnt anything else in their time there.
NZ used to pride itself in having practically no illiteracy - it surely can't claim that now.

[MisterD]

It is at least less damaging to our reputation as mean tough bikers tahn the thread on lace doilies. Or the one on the correct way to make a cup of tea.:killingme

...and here's me thinking it was a conscious effort to portray ourselves as erudite knights of the road! Mean, tough bikers? Not me, I've got a scooter so I must be ghey.

[Wolf]

NZ used to pride itself in having practically no illiteracy - it surely can't claim that now.
Not when you see a person accepted into a Journalism course at a tertiary institute whose handwriting is childish and has no idea of spelling, punctuation, grammar and common idiomatic phrases (so tried "rendring them fonetikly")

I guess he was aiming to become an Editor - I'm sure the Waikato Slimes would snap him up if they didn't already have a person in charge of randomising the positioning of letters, punctuation and (in extreme cases) words...

[Clockwork]

I've tried the thread search to see if anyone has mentioned this but I couldn't get it to work and 17 pages is just too much to trawl through but since we're on the subject, my pet hate is the misuse of ....

to & too :doh:

[MSTRS]

I've tried the thread search to see if anyone has mentioned this but I couldn't get it to work and 17 pages is just too much to trawl through but since we're on the subject, my pet hate is the misuse of ....

to & too :doh:
That's two.....

[Hitcher]

Not when you see a person accepted into a Journalism course at a tertiary institute whose handwriting is childish and has no idea of spelling, punctuation, grammar and common idiomatic phrases (so tried "rendring them fonetikly")
You should have a wee chat with Mrs H. She is a professional cleaner upper/rewriter of illiterate reporters.

[yungatart]

That must be one HUUUGE job, judging by what I read/decipher in our local rag-proofreading doesn't seem to exist anymore.

[Hitcher]

A big job that also includes assigning stories to pages, laying out pages, writing headlines, etc. And they're understaffed. So even with highly skilled people working their arses off, enough woopses get through to keep the letter-writing pedants happy.

[MikeL]

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I thought that the sub-editor was an extinct species, and that reporters, at least on the daily newspapers, send their articles direct to the presses (with perhaps a brief excursion through Spell-Check, although even that seems doubtful...)

[MisterD]

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I thought that the sub-editor was an extinct species,

You think the journo unions would allow their members to do the extra work involved in thinking up the stupid headlines?

[Wolf]

You think the journo unions would allow their members to do the extra work involved in thinking up the stupid headlines?
What species of pillock is responsible for the writing of the "Scream Sheets"? In one of the folders in my filing cabinet at home I have a few howlers dreamed up by the folks at Waikato Slimes - a veritable study of ambiguous meanings that make an arrant liar out of my high-school English teacher who swore, with a perfectly straight face (the bastard), that the newspapers take care not to write ambiguous headlines and such.

Some of them are right up there with "If cold milk irritates your baby, boil it."

I also collected a few of the Slimes' reknowned "not news" ones like Politicians Lie and I've missed a few over the years.

It brings to mind the old saying (especially true of The Slimes) "Where do you find an intelligent, well written article in the [ insert name of local rag here ]?

In the "Letters to The Editor" page...

[Hitcher]

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I thought that the sub-editor was an extinct species, and that reporters, at least on the daily newspapers, send their articles direct to the presses (with perhaps a brief excursion through Spell-Check, although even that seems doubtful...)
You are mistaken. Sub-editors are alive, albeit undervalued and endangered. Under your scenario, who is doing the page make-up?

[Hitcher]

You think the journo unions would allow their members to do the extra work involved in thinking up the stupid headlines?
Sub-editors and reporters are all "journalists". Unfortunately the last two have become synonymous, again devaluing the significance and value of the poor down-trodden sub.

[MSTRS]

Came across this today and thought, what better thread to put it in...

[Katman]

Has she not noticed she only has one cat?

[Maha]

Dont know if it has been mentioned in this thread or not but...
The word Text (send or receive) is still text, not texted or that other term that has been thrust upon us of late...texes, even textes would have been a screem but texes?...:facepalm:

Dictionary definition..Text = to contact (a person) by means of a TEXT message.

You havent texted them nor have you texes them, you have text them.

[scissorhands]

Heard Jim Mora say 'more cheaper' today on the National Program. Even the best screw up horribly.

[Maha]

Things couldn't get any worser....:innocent:

[MSTRS]

He could of said better value...

[Edbear]

He could of said better value...

That's ah, "have said", mate... :innocent:

[Edbear]

Dont know if it has been mentioned in this thread or not but...
The word Text (send or receive) is still text, not texted or that other term that has been trust upon us of late...texes, even textes would have been a screem but texes?...:facepalm:

Dictionary definition..Text = to contact (a person) by means of a TEXT message.

You havent texted them nor have you texes them, you have text them.

I did..? :blink: What was their reply..?

[MSTRS]

That's ah, "have said", mate... :innocent:

Ka-Chomp, Mr Fishy...

[Elysium]

Oh good gods, who digs up a thread over five years old?

[Maha]

That's ah, "have said", mate... :innocent:

But having said that, that being said, it would have to be said that that ''have said'' is correct...there, nuff said.

[Scuba_Steve]

Oh broz I spek england gud broz ay & I'z rite it even beta cause I wents to skool chur

[Scuba_Steve]

Oh good gods, who digs up a thread over five years old?

I'm going to say MSTRS:Me :yes:

[Edbear]

Ka-Chomp, Mr Fishy...

Look here! You know very well I can resist anything but temptation... :yes:

[Virago]

Another proper England rant.....

My pet hate is those who don't know how many dots are used in an ellipsis...

Edit: Fixed by Mr Hitcher, bless 'im...

[schrodingers cat]

sux mumphs ago i cudnt evn spel injunear an now i r one

[Hitcher]

Somebody opened a stable door and released several of my hobby horses. Just what somebody recuperating from recent brain trauma needs.

It's interesting to note that somebody discouraged by this thread's endeavours when it first emerged and who subsequently sought solace between the legs of a considerately ovulating female, would have recently celebrated the fruit of that union's first day at school. Hopefully that fruit is learning how to appropriately render the English language. We should be so lucky.

[schrodingers cat]

I bet this bloke read this post and thought he'd fit right in

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/136250-Hi!-Before-watching-but-now-am-trying-to-say-(STUFF)

[Wolf]

Oh good gods, who digs up a thread over five years old?
The guy who started the thread over five years ago, 'twould seem...

[Swoop]

The guy who started the thread over five years ago, 'twould seem...

The exhumation of your own thread is acceptable?

[Banditbandit]

Somebody opened a stable door and released several of my hobby horses. Just what somebody recuperating from recent brain trauma needs.

It's interesting to note that somebody discouraged by this thread's endeavours when it first emerged and who subsequently sought solace between the legs of a considerately ovulating female, would have recently celebrated the fruit of that union's first day at school. Hopefully that fruit is learning how to appropriately render the English language. We should be so lucky.

Commas PLEASE!!!!


Oh good gods, who digs up a thread over five years old?

That is more than five years old - over is a spatial relationship, not a time or amount relationship.


That's ah, "have said", mate... :innocent:

That's why I hate the language Nazis .. they usually make mistakes too. I once found six mistakes in a five sentence Letter to the Editor complaining about language use ...


Things couldn't get any worser....:innocent:

They could get worsted?

[MSTRS]

Oh good gods, who digs up a thread over five years old?


The guy who started the thread over five years ago, 'twould seem...


The exhumation of your own thread is acceptable?

Sometimes it's a good idea to save the mods a job and simply tack a new post onto an old thread...and a bloody pearler of a thread it was (and is).
Besides, the day that one needs permission to dig up oneself, is the day that the GreyMen have won.
The number of intelligent and prolific posters from earlier days that are no longer seen about the forums...sad, really. But nice to see Wolf still here.

[Elysium]

Sometimes it's a good idea to save the mods a job and simply tack a new post onto an old thread...and a bloody pearler of a thread it was (and is).
Besides, the day that one needs permission to dig up oneself, is the day that the GreyMen have won.
The number of intelligent and prolific posters from earlier days that are no longer seen about the forums...sad, really. But nice to see Wolf still here.

No I agree, one doesn't need permission to dig up ones corpse. :D

[Hitcher]

No I agree, one doesn't need permission to dig up ones corpse.

One's corpse, the corpse of one.

[Hitcher]

Commas PLEASE!!!!

Are you serious? And one exclamation mark is plenty. Things don't become more exclaimed or more questioning by adding multiple shrieks.

[Elysium]

One's corpse, the corpse of one.

**bows head** Yes master.

[Wolf]

nice to see Wolf still here.
Thanks. Lurking and occasionally "delurking" between bouts of being a solo dad of four.

[scissorhands]

Another dog, another moon...

I wish I was a glow worm,
A glow worm's never glum.
'Cos how can you be grumpy
When the sun shines out your bum!

[Wolf]

Another dog, another moon...

I wish I was a glow worm,
A glow worm's never glum.
'Cos how can you be grumpy
When the sun shines out your bum!
"I wish I were a glow worm", surely.

[steve_t]

Another dog, another moon...

I wish I was a glow worm,
A glow worm's never glum.
'Cos how can you be grumpy
When the sun shines out your bum!


"I wish I were a glow worm", surely.

Nope. It's "I wish I was..."
I was, you were.

[Banditbandit]

Are you serious? And one exclamation mark is plenty. Things don't become more exclaimed or more questioning by adding multiple shrieks.

Yeah ... you see, the point of language is communication - if the ideas are communicated, what's your problem?

Extra exclamation marks is a good way of adding extra emphasis in on-line communications ... Any human communication can be broken down into it's words, it's tone and it's body language. Now the words count for 5% of the total communication, tone for 35% and body language for 55% (there's a 5% that no-one rerally knows what it's about - but I believe it's around the expectations of the receiver).

Think of how many different ways you an say the words "Shut the Door" ... quietly, loudly, yelled ... all in different tones to convey different meanings ... then add the body language - gestures, stamping feet - all convey different meanings.

So, in the written word, (like newspapers or books) we only have the words - but a good writer can convey tone. In radio, for instance, we have words and tone, but a good radio person can give an idea of body language .. on TV we get words, tone and body language ...

Think of how many different ways you an say the words "Shut the Door" ... quietly, loudly, yelled ... all in different tones to convey different meanings .. then add the body language - gestures, stamping feet - all add body language ... and convey different meanings.

So, on the internet we only get words .. and few people are good writers .. using extra exclamation marks is a way of conveying tone ... and possibly body language.

As an academic - yeah, I can pick language apart, and frequently do when I'm marking student essays ... as a human being DILLIGAF ...

[Dave Lobster]

Any human communication can be broken down into it's words, it's tone and it's body language.

No apostrophes for possessive pronouns.




As an academic - yeah, I can pick language apart, and frequently do when I'm marking student essays ... as a human being DILLIGAF ...
235634

[Banditbandit]

No apostrophes for possessive pronouns.


235634

:rofl: DILLIGAF .. you got the message ...

Love the graphic ... I might use it at work ...

[avgas]

One's corpse, the corpse of one.
two'sa party
three'sa necrophilia daydream.

[avgas]

sux mumphs ago i cudnt evn spel injunear an now i r one
You is?
Me twos

isa shitty job, muay boss is a dik

[avgas]

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I thought that the sub-editor was an extinct species
They are alive and well.
Problem these days, is their boss. Lazy moron whom, can't even put their full title on the page.
Ed.

Besides why jump up and down about it, to err is human. Machines FFFF up. There is a difference that that separates man from machine.

[Dave Lobster]

There is a difference that that separates man from machine.

Yup. Man should (but, invariably doesn't - and is proud of it) know better. Machine does what man tells it.

[James Deuce]

So, on the internet we only get words .. and few people are good writers .. using extra exclamation marks is a way of conveying tone ... and possibly body language.


That's just an excuse, generated by an academic looking for excuses for not communicating a functional understanding of a supposedly native language.

Learning has become an osmotic process, particularly communication skills and far too many people are being left as functional illiterates at the end of their schooling. The form and rules of language change all the time, as the anti-grammar are often wont to remind me, however when you have no idea of the rules in the first place how can your communication be anything other than ineffective?

A subjective interpretation of the English language leaves one bound to a solipsist's existence, forever wondering why people just, "don't understand me".

[Big Dave]

They are alive and well.
Problem these days, is their boss. Lazy moron whom, can't even put their full title on the page.
Ed.

Besides why jump up and down about it, to err is human. Machines FFFF up. There is a difference that that separates man from machine.

Needs subbing.

Yebbut there is less money in all traditional news media in the Blogger, Cable and You Tube era.

Middle production - Subs, Picture Editors, Art Director, the rag can still be produced without them when revenues fall. But so does quality.

Murdoch says that a pay for online content future is the way it will go. I think he's dreamin'.

[MikeL]

Learning has become an osmotic process, particularly communication skills and far too many people are being left as functional illiterates at the end of their schooling.

Hear, hear.
Or is that "here, here"??
I dunno, why dont I just give up like every one else

[Maha]

Hear, hear.
Or is that "here, here"??
I dunno, why dont I just give up like every one else

Its ...Air Hair Leer...gives you a proper english accent.

[admenk]

Its ...Air Hair Leer...gives you a proper english accent.

just coz u Kiwis cant speak proper like wot we dus..

[Wolf]

Nope. It's "I wish I was..."
I was, you were.
"I was", "you were" are past participles of "to be".

"I wish", however invokes the subjunctive mood (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subjunctive_mood).

On checking, it seems that perhaps it should be "I wish I be a glow worm", which sounds clumsy. "I wish I were..." at least suggests that you wish you had been one for some time...

Famous use of the subjunctive by "If I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee", "If you were my wife, I'd drink it".

Kids these days don't get taught more than the rudiments of language.

[Edbear]

"I was", "you were" are past participles of "to be".

"I wish", however invokes the subjunctive mood (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subjunctive_mood).

On checking, it seems that perhaps it should be "I wish I be a glow worm", which sounds clumsy. "I wish I were..." at least suggests that you wish you had been one for some time...

Famous use of the subjunctive by "If I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee", "If you were my wife, I'd drink it".

Kids these days don't get taught more than the rudiments of language.

If they're lucky enough...

[steve_t]

"I was", "you were" are past participles of "to be".

"I wish", however invokes the subjunctive mood (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subjunctive_mood).

On checking, it seems that perhaps it should be "I wish I be a glow worm", which sounds clumsy. "I wish I were..." at least suggests that you wish you had been one for some time...

Famous use of the subjunctive by "If I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee", "If you were my wife, I'd drink it".

Kids these days don't get taught more than the rudiments of language.

Ah, you are correct. My apologies :innocent:

[Banditbandit]

That's just an excuse, generated by an academic looking for excuses for not communicating a functional understanding of a supposedly native language.

Learning has become an osmotic process, particularly communication skills and far too many people are being left as functional illiterates at the end of their schooling. The form and rules of language change all the time, as the anti-grammar are often wont to remind me, however when you have no idea of the rules in the first place how can your communication be anything other than ineffective?

A subjective interpretation of the English language leaves one bound to a solipsist's existence, forever wondering why people just, "don't understand me".

Oh, I largely agree. For good communication good language use is important. This is about the shared nature of understanding of words, of the relationship indicated by the simple [speaker concept=word=listener concept]

This is important when communicating complex ideas ...

For simple ideas "Does it look like I give fuck" seems sufficient to me.

Obviously not - because you don't seem to get my point - DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK (no apologies for shouting - maybe now you'll get my point!!!!)

And before you ask why do I patrticipate in this discussion? Because it amuses me.

(And I share your pain - people don't seem to understand me either.)