PARKING! - Some Pointers...

[Groins_NZ]

Parking etiquette – an often, overlooked, facet of riding.

Now I know every Kiwi Biker on here knows how to park a bike but some riders out there could do with a few pointers (hopefully you’ll visit the site and read this).

These points focus on situations where shared parking is of a concern i.e. in the city.

#1. If you’re the first rider to arrive at a ‘Bike’ parking space:
It’s a better option to park your bike at either end of the space available as opposed to parking in the middle. Parking in the middle often creates a space between two bikes that is a ‘bees diddle‘ too small, which someone undoubtedly will try to squeeze into and end up scratching your precious.

#2. If you’re running late and not the first rider to arrive:
Presuming every other M’Fr has parked up in an ordered manner then simply follow suit and park your bike next to the bike in the line. Try not to be a TWAT and park 1 and ½ bike widths away from the next – some city parks are crowded so you need to be SPACE conscious.

#3. Parking ‘next to’ and in ‘between bikes’:
Leave sufficient space between your bike and the bike on your immediate left so that when he/she has to leave before you, they can tilt their bike off the stand without carving a line in your tank with their ‘tungsten tipped’ bar-ends. The bike you’ve parked next to should have enough room to swing their leg over their bike, tilt it upright and exit their space without clipping your wing mirror, handlebar or worse, your tank.

On the other hand, don’t leave too much space between your bike and theirs’ that would tempt somebody else, when desperate for a park, to squeeze in between you and the other bike. Obviously this creates some undue stress for somebody at the end of day when they have to steer out of their park with one hand, holding their sphincter tightly, whistling like Roger Whittaker.

#4. Park it like a ‘TWAT’:
Park it like a ‘TWAT’ is something you should try to avoid. If you do park like a TWAT then you may have parked your bike in any of the following ways:

o Your bike is parked at an angle dissimilar to any other in the parking space and subsequently you could be taking up valuable space that two bikes could potentially occupy – what a TWAT!

o Your first to arrive and parked your bike ½ a bikes width from the end of the parking space leaving the other half unavailable for anyone to use – what a waste of space! You must be a TWAT!

o You ride a scooter and park like you just don’t care. Your beastie shows evidence of being ‘down the road’ on more than one occasion and is happily leaking oil on shared bitumen. You pull up and park up, exciting the vicinity within 6secs of arriving and haven’t bothered parking nicely like the rest of us. You may have a small bike but that doesn’t make you any less of a TWAT!

o Essentially you respect other bikers sharing the parking space and park accordingly but wait,… for some reason you never put your steering lock on and the front is turned in the opposite direction to everybody else? Hey it’s your precious, do what you want but unfortunately you still come under the category of being a TWAT!

o In other circumstances, outside the scope of this rant, people may refer to you as being a TWAT for parking in an unsatisfactory manner. Please ask them, “what the F___K is your problem mate!” and hopefully they’ll be able to give you some good advice about parking your motorcycle, TWAT!


Additions or mordant comments on the above are of course welcome.

[Fishy]

Guilty as charged your honour. I'm a twat...well not all the time.

[WRT]

And by no means may you EVER park your car, truck, van, taxi, bus or any other vehicle other than a bike within a designated bike area. EVER.

[Sniper]

Nicely put. I know what you mean when you need to park somewhere and some idiot has parked in the middle of a bike park

[vifferman]

I've parked alongside a few twats guilty of parking offences. Luckily, almost every time it was a moderately-sized bike or a scooter, and I've just picked it up and moved it to where it should've been in the first place.
I know, I know - it's a cardinal sin touching someone else's ride (two legged or two wheeled), but if you break the rules, you don't deserve any respect.

[MisterD]

I've parked alongside a few twats guilty of parking offences.

IMHO that kind of thing doesn't come under the heading of "parked" so much as "abandoned" in which case as you say the rules regarding others' rides don't apply.

[Devil]

I was just having a moan this morning about the clot who parked his oversized scooter in the middle of a rectangular space that can normally fit 4 bikes. Fucker.

[MidnightMike]

I was just having a moan this morning about the clot who parked his oversized scooter in the middle of a rectangular space that can normally fit 4 bikes. Fucker.

Is it one of those horrid looking an250's?
Theyre so big they have glove boxes :crazy:

[Slingshot]

A couple of other points:

You're a TWAT if you park your bike facing the footpath, saw a bike with an L palte parked like that this morning. It's a heap easier to "reverse" into the park so that when you're ready to leave you can just ride away.

You're also a TWAT if you park in front of another bike, so that they can't exit the bike unless they move your bike...often this is made harder by the steering lock being engaged.

[deathstar]

well the underground car park next to the price water house cooper is a crapper cause there is only 1 small DESIGNATED space and you HAVE to park infront of people so it is like tetris trying to park so that others can get out but not much problem where i am now

[Groins_NZ]

so it is like tetris trying to park

That's a good analogy of sorts - haven't heard that before.

[deathstar]

That's a good analogy of sorts - haven't heard that before.

just but such a good one, if you get a line of bikes you get to push them over

[madboy]

I park in the city every day, and with the exception of 1 day btwn xmas and NY I've never managed to park legally within the designated parking space I generally park around. I must get to work too late. Instead I join the other 10 bikes that park on the footpath or other areas immediately adjacent to this. Or park on the end of the disabled carpark (actually a gap of 1.5metres BEFORE the disabled carpark starts - in case anyone feels I'm being a shit) that fits 2 bikes easily while still leaving room for someone to drive forwards into the parallel disabled park. To date I've never been ticketed.

Tetris is a word I'd use to describe the parking too. Funnily enough, it's not usually the bikes either, it's the scooters (as stated by others) that park in stupid places. I guess they don't realise just how difficult it is to maneouvre a real bike which is quite unlike a scooter. I look out my office window now and I see a yellow scooter parked across the back of someones bike (parallel parked on the footpath with a solid post in front of it), meaning the poor bike will have about a sixteen-point shuffle to find a way out forwards. Hopefully the scooter leaves work first.

[deathstar]

Hopefully the scooter leaves work first.

or someone will find their scooter lying on its side 10 feet from where they parked it

[Fatjim]

I park in the city every day, and with the exception of 1 day btwn xmas and NY I've never managed to park legally within the designated parking space I generally park around. I must get to work too late. Instead I join the other 10 bikes that park on the footpath or other areas immediately adjacent to this. Or park on the end of the disabled carpark (actually a gap of 1.5metres BEFORE the disabled carpark starts - in case anyone feels I'm being a shit) that fits 2 bikes easily while still leaving room for someone to drive forwards into the parallel disabled park. To date I've never been ticketed.

Tetris is a word I'd use to describe the parking too. Funnily enough, it's not usually the bikes either, it's the scooters (as stated by others) that park in stupid places. I guess they don't realise just how difficult it is to maneouvre a real bike which is quite unlike a scooter. I look out my office window now and I see a yellow scooter parked across the back of someones bike (parallel parked on the footpath with a solid post in front of it), meaning the poor bike will have about a sixteen-point shuffle to find a way out forwards. Hopefully the scooter leaves work first.

Piece of cake, move the bastard to a car park and let it get a ticket.

[Korea]

Nice post. Now I'm a bit fuzzy, is Twat pronounced like "What" or "cat"(minus the C and plus Tw ) ???

[MisterD]

Nice post. Now I'm a bit fuzzy, is Twat pronounced like "What" or "cat"(minus the C and plus Tw ) ???

IMO It's best pronounced to rhyme with "cat", even better if you can generate a reasonable approximation to a scouse accent. That gives it a much better capacity to convey real venom.

[Virago]

#1. If you’re the first rider to arrive at a ‘Bike’ parking space:
It’s a better option to park your bike at either end of the space available as opposed to parking in the middle....
.......Unless of course it's a normal car-park space, then the first bike should park in the middle. To park at one end seems to invite a cage driver to have a go at squeezing in to the free space, usually using the "Braille" method of parking.....:argh:

[justsomeguy]

I guess I'm a TWAT cos I always park my bike in sight of where I will be. Usually on the footpath right next to the place of entrance of where I'll be or jammed between two pillars or a wall so it can't be tipped over unless someone lifts the bike and kicks the sidestand out. I never park on the road if I can avoid it.

Another thing for newbies - never park your bike with the front facing downhill, your bike could roll of the stand, leaving it in gear is a good idea.

[Kendog]

And by no means may you EVER park your car, truck, van, taxi, bus or any other vehicle other than a bike within a designated bike area. EVER.
Totally agree with this, but does that mean a bike can not park in a 'car park'?

[justsomeguy]

Totally agree with this, but does that mean a bike can not park in a 'car park'?

No it doesn't. You can park anywhere a car is legally allowed to park depending on the parking conditions.

Had a bitch back into my old bike, drop it and argue that......:angry2:

[thehollowmen]

And when lining up while driving... please do not grab your frount brake while moving forward. it is a VERY easy way to put the bike down onto the bike beside you.

[Karma]

Another thing for newbies - never park your bike with the front facing downhill, your bike could roll of the stand, leaving it in gear is a good idea.

I don't usually worry about that... my bike is always parked in gear and so won't roll far enough for the stand to come up.

Just have to make sure if parking on uneven ground that the bike isn't gonna lean too much when putting it on the stand. This is typically noticed on sand / gravel and when parking laterally on a hill.

[janno]

Who's been to Melbourne? The pavements are hugely wide and bikes are encouraged to park wherever the hell they want to as long as Mum and Pram or chasp in wheelchair can get out of their parked car.

The council tried to ban bikes on pavements a while back so the two wheeled mob actually united for once, went in to the city early one business day and took up all the carparks they could manage, one bike per space. Caused absolute chaos apparently and the council backed down quick smart.

I have had the bike roll off the stand when still a greenhorn, carefully put it in neutral and carefully turned it around to point downhill so it pointed the right way for leaving. May I say from experience, this is the sort of mistake you only make once!! Luckily, I've talked to lots of guys with not too much bullshit ego who have admitted to that one too when they were tiny tots.

[R1madness]

Piece of cake, move the bastard to a car park and let it get a ticket.
Eh? :gob: I have never had a ticket for parking in a "car" park. In fact if they ever do give me one for that they will have to put me in jail as i would never pay it :oi-grr: . We pay more rego than bloody cars so F*CK them. We use less gas, polute less, cost less in road repairs, ease congestion blah blah blah...... useless bloody local govt. See ya in court arseholes. :finger:

[robnz]

have been parking my bike opposite the uni library, while there is plenty of space during summer school, when uni starts in earnest a parking space can be hard to find. Things are not made easier with one twat on a kawasaki parking on a 45 degree opposite angle then everybody else. hopefully one day somebody is going to teach this person the rules of parking

[myvice]

Parked 2mm in front of a car while a mate did the same behind it.
Sat in a cafe watching for about an hour pissing ourselves laughing as she stomped about having a big hissy caus she couldn’t get out of the "Bike Parking Only" space.
Thought she was going to run them over for a while!
Funny tho...
Had to wait till she stormed off befor we got our bikes, I think she would have killed us if we had gone near her!

[Slingshot]

Parked 2mm in front of a car while a mate did the same behind it.
Sat in a cafe watching for about an hour pissing ourselves laughing as she stomped about having a big hissy caus she couldn’t get out of the "Bike Parking Only" space.
Thought she was going to run them over for a while!
Funny tho...
Had to wait till she stormed off befor we got our bikes, I think she would have killed us if we had gone near her!

I did that too once...I was riding my wife scooter and this bitch had parked in the bike park I used to use. I parked in front of her right at the end of the bike park...she came out of the cafe across the road, jumped in her 4WD and continued to drive over the scooter.
Apparently she stopped and stuck her head out the window and then drove off.
The guys in the Cafe saw it all and it was a regular customer, gave me her details and then asked me to let them know if she came good...otherwise they were going to rstop serving her (Cafe La'afare (sp?), good bunch!)

[froggyfrenchman]

Worked in a supermarket while in high school. There was a bike park right next to the door. Problem is, the boss had a habbit of parking his fargn giant yuppy 4wd in said bike park in such a manner i couldnt get out. One afternoon i called a towie, he ended up having to pay to have his vehicle towed from land he owned. Funnily enough he never parked that 4x4 there again, and i got a payrise the next week!

[myvice]

Subtlety pays off then?