Laugh for the day

[SpeedyGirl]

Sorry if this has been here before, but I nearly fell off my chair!!!:rofl:


A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her
room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area
and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she
touched her.

They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement. They
went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy
as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her
out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the
curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his
wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart
rate.
The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried.





The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked."

[Fishy]

Bahahahahahahahahaha thats a good one!!. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[enigma51]

do a google search on march 20th

[SwanTiger]

Hahaha sick but funny

[miSTa]

I like that one :laugh: :laugh:

[SimJen]

nice, very good. :)

[nadroj]

FEMALE POEM

I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MALE POEM

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

[Fishy]

Now thats some funny shit!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: you deserve a BLING!.

[Sniper]

Lol, both are very good

[Back Fire]

HAHA... bloody good

[Nicksta]

lol.... very funny.....

[BEAMER89]

Very funny, liked both, Well said.:clap: :yeah: :clap: :clap:

[MSTRS]

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway.
Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and
asks,
"What happened?"
"Terrorists kidnapped Helen Clark and are asking for a $10 Million ransom.
Otherwise they are going to douse her with petrol and set her on fire. We
are going from car to car to take up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving on average?"
"About a litre."

[Swoop]

MSTRS - Good one!!!!!!:rofl:
I'd happily donate a litre as well!:apint:

[Storm]

take the whole tank, it'll be worth the walk home

[MSTRS]

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of
his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a
semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained.
"Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for
help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She
tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out,
still nothing.
"We even called up Arlene, the lady next door, and she tried too, first
with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her
knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep. And none of us could get the jar open!"