Classic KB Quotes

[Racey Rider]

Time we had a Classic Quotes Thread I reckon.

Quotes must be original, and written posts from KB'ers.
You can't post your own quotes! - someone else must think it's worthy.
If necessary, a little preface to set the context of the quote.
FINE PRINT: and No qoute generating softwear may be used!

Here's a couple to get things going.


......alternatively we could just pay a standard 'fine' each year for speeding and save them the bother of going out to collect revenue.....demerit points will be done randomly by a draw system on Saturday night alongside Lotto.
TTFN

:lol:


Drive round on a sunday and pick up some Real Estate Signs - they are fecken light, reasonably pliable and can be painted. And there you go - cheap fairings. Better still get a Real Estate Company to sponsor you and you won't need to paint them

[Two Smoker]

Oooooooohhh one vote for wkid one!!!!! KK's signiture is pretty good too :niceone:


"I Cried When I Had A Honda, Until I Met A Man Who Had A Harley. Then I laughed... really hard!:kick: "

[Racey Rider]

...... It seems the guy in the green jeep behind me took exception to this and started to tailgate me rather closely.
.......I blew him a kiss (Kiss hand, wipe on butt, blow and smile sweetly)
As he took off again I looked over at the car next to me and shrugged my shoulders. Everyone in it was having a good laugh ...


Read Full Thread Post here
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=1079

[6Chris6]

Hah! What, exactly, was he expecting in reply to that?

"Yes, officer, I noticed you ages ago, and was doing my best to escape your clutches in the most illegal manner possible, but gee whiz whillikey, you just handled that Mazda like an absolute pro. I decided that I could not sustain the frightening pace of the chase, since I am not only a criminal fugitive, but a nancy-boy into the bargain."

:killingme

[toads]

originally posted by hitcher

"and boy racers in their WRXs who are all over the road like a mad woman's shit. Apart from that, it's quite a scenic ride."


Kinda cute I thought!! :killingme

[RiderInBlack]

On the subject of bike com'penis'ation (eg; buying a bigger bike to compensate for lack of penis size) Bungbung had this to say:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=46995&postcount=37

It's ok DWTKC, the argument should work in reverse too...
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=47005&postcount=39

Its automated. Y'see if you've got a big bike and an average penis, buying a small bike will enlarge it proportionally.

[Skyryder]

This was first brought to my attention 5 minutes ago by my wife of 14 years.

Apparently,, I'm not "Getting it" as much lately because I spend too much time on here.

Guess you have not learned yet Racey. This is one of your quotes. Still the best on the board and likely to remains so for the forseeable future.

Skyryder

[Zed]

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by bondagebunny

there appears to be no way out of this site - can i be unsubscribed please

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>


I thought you got off on bondage - the ultimate thrill when there is no way out from it. Enjoy sucker!!! Just like you're handcuffed to the bed sucking on your scooter to get it going.<!-- / sig -->

[White trash]

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by bondagebunny
there appears to be no way out of this site - can i be unsubscribed please
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

<!-- / sig -->

I'd forgotten that! What ever happened to the Bunny? It's probably still hand cuffed to that bed, or perhaps changed its name to Sk8rBoi to torment us.......

[Posh Tourer :P]

Originally Posted by Jackrat
I would rather come across a cow on a back road than one in a Pajero at an intersection.

[Racey Rider]

....A really intense time.. (You know, like when you bought your first condoms from the chemist and were so embarassed you had to buy a comb as well, even though you were 35 and bald)....

:killingme Well Done that Man!

read thread from post #46: Pauls post #57
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=5050&page=2&pp=40 (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=5050&page=2&pp=40)

[Blakamin]

:killingme Well Done that Man!

read thread from post #46: Pauls post #57
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=5050&page=2&pp=40 (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=5050&page=2&pp=40)


I'm goin with that one tooo :blah:

[Milky]

...and I've got a really big fart brewing


Well it felt really great to get it out of my arse. Smelt heaps too.

Wonderful...

[Riff Raff]

From the how do you dump your girlfriend thread....


When you are young and into bikes most girl friends are self dumping!

Occasionaly a particularly pesky one might need to be disposed of but this is easily done by professing a sudden interest in strange sexual practices. The chief danger of this approach being that she may secret harbour similar interests!

But then the chances of finding 2 people on the same continent that fancy a session with latex clad dwarves smeared in dripping and stuffing drunk gerbils up your fundimental orifices to attract out the randy weasels is quite remote. In my experience anyway!

[Racey Rider]

I don't know were you get the silly notion about me being dodgy...... honestly that was the cat you heard licking its arse and nibbling your ear in the middle of the nite :rolleyes:

As apposed to: Who,,, licking their arse??? :bleh: :lol:

[NC]

As apposed to: Who licking their arse??? :bleh: :lol:
Well, thats disturbing....

[Daisy Duke]

My vote goes to Biff Baff:

Ew!!! I really hate that bike!!!

Is it me - or do all those guys n gals that wear all in one race replica leathers look like Power Rangers?

Can you imagine cage drivers doing the same thing........wearing F1 outfits to drive to work or when hooning on the weekend?


It's the mental picture that makes me giggle.
:laugh:

[toads]

this quick retort from scumdog had me in fits of laughter, like daisy, its the mental picture I got.

Originally Posted by dangerous

Mikey....... listen and learn, I am twice your age and have ridden non stop for 21yrs and still listen and still learn.


scumdog writes:
You must be fair exhausted you poor lamb, you can stop riding now and have a cup of tea!!

[Blakamin]

this quick retort from scumdog had me in fits of laughter, like daisy, its the mental picture I got.

Originally Posted by dangerous

Mikey....... listen and learn, I am twice your age and have ridden non stop for 21yrs and still listen and still learn.


scumdog writes:
You must be fair exhausted you poor lamb, you can stop riding now and have a cup of tea!!
yup!... that gets my vote.... can I change it?????

[Biff]

Thanks for the nomination Daisy, but Scumdog gets my vote too.

[bungbung]

I have to say that this is pretty good from jimbo:


I reckon Microsoft are controlling the weather so more people will buy Xboxes.

[Racey Rider]

yup!... that gets my vote.... can I change it?????

Sorry, Anything posted as a "Classic Quote" today will have to see if it gets nominated for Next Years Award.

[Biff]

Sorry, Anything posted as a "Classic Quote" today will have to see if it gets nominated for Next Years Award.

boooooooo - we demand a recount/think/nomination thing.

scumdog, ra, ra ,ra
scumdog ra, ra, ra

[ZorsT]

But you've given me an idea. How about a new model name... something like the "BRRRAAAP 900"?

:lol:


I think that
Cassic KB Quotes should be a monthly poll, and then at the end of the year, we vote for the overall winner... sound good?

[Racey Rider]

Re: Riding in Sand.


Its a bit like when you had your first shag, you aren't really sure of what you're doing but you keep going hard out until you either fall off or arrive at your destination.

[Hooks]

Re: Riding in Sand.

That's the best so far & so true too..... LMFAO :yeah: :2thumbsup

[Storm]

I'm all for a site weekly/monthly quote thingy and the over years winner who gets a free rep point from hitcher (ie taking your score up by a modest 50 odd)

[Ghost Lemur]

How about a quote database. Just as a random picture is generated on the main page so could a random quote from the collection. Could still have a winner choosen via pole for the best quote of the year.

Have a sticky thread in the Rave On section where anyone can post a quote they think is worthy of mention. Along with the quote could be a link to the thread and the posts number. Then SpankMe or other mod could add it to the database.

[Blakamin]

How about a quote database. Just as a random picture is generated on the main page so could a random quote from the collection. Could still have a winner choosen via pole for the best quote of the year.

Have a sticky thread in the Rave On section where anyone can post a quote they think is worthy of mention. Along with the quote could be a link to the thread and the posts number. Then SpankMe or other mod could add it to the database.
Well, I think its a bloody good idea!!!
why doesnt someone start a sticky in "rave on" then ???? :eek:

[Ghost Lemur]

Well, I think its a bloody good idea!!!
why doesnt someone start a sticky in "rave on" then ???? :eek:

Done. :)

Just needs to be sticky'd.

[toads]

excellent idea peoples

[Racey Rider]

From the Waikato 3 rally reg page (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=220729#post220729). Takin about the upcoming auction.


...oh well lucky you, you will be able to win the bid for the best item, IE Whitetrash as a slave for 30 mins ...


'Trash for 30 minutes?

What's second prize? An hour?

[Racey Rider]

Kapiti... Sigh... Supermarkets... SIGH... Our car has dents alll over it :(...
...Every door is dinged... Even the boot. There is no unmolested panel, I think some cocks take pleasure in it, secretly humping the panels until they buckle.

Sad.. But Kapiti is the land of the dent magnet and panel humper.

and in the same Thread (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=12276) regarding 'Paul in NZ's wifes car getting hit.


Want White Trash and The Vigilantes to make a guest appearance out there mate?

:killingme about as scary as getting threatened by Woody Allen.

Are you saying you wouldnt be concerned when threatened by someone with 'woody' in their name??

[Rainbow Wizard]

Originally posted by Manuboy on the 1000 debate

"As for the penis extension idea, i dunno. After getting (off) on one of those (1000cc) things my old fulla would be inside out and hiding in abject fear somewhere in my throat region. So it'd be no use beside doing a fair impression of a 2nd adams apple."

[Racey Rider]

Still cant go past a good crop dusting tho - letting one rip as you walk through all the cubicles in the office - really spread the bugger around.
:not:
link here (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=17794)

[hXc]

:not:
link here (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=17794)

I vote WRT for President!!! Oh I mean best quotey thing

[Racey Rider]

From the 'Motorbikes and Pollution' thread.


And sheep and cows put out more pollution blah blah blah.
Get rid of the sheep (except for personal err... "entertainment" :buggerd: ) and put more bikes on the road. The environment will be better off!

:clap: Good try MDU.
Not a winner maybe,, but worth a mention!

Come on people, What else ya got?!



For the Newbe's:
Winner of Classic Quote 2004 (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=7654)- The artist formally known as 'jrandom'

Winner of Classic Quote 2005 (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=22451)- 'Spudchucka'

[SARGE]

DirtMad's Sig:

__________________
"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the special Olympics, even if you win, you're still retarded"

[Sniper]

Caused quite a bit of upset too if I remember correctly.

[Big Dave]

Caused quite a bit of upset too if I remember correctly.


yeah - quite right - i'll delete it.

[Racey Rider]

From the 'Uh-oh, watch out lads' (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=31779)thread.


We already HAVE the Backwards-Hick method:
"That zorst sounds waay too damn loud boy, here's ya ticket".


Couldn't you just lower the gain on yer hearing aid scummy?

[Racey Rider]

Have Classic Quotes been a bit slow this year? Lost interest? Can't find this thread?

Heres one from 'Ixion' regarding buying a bicycle (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=31733)for your health.




.... Some of the new ones have about 20 speeds. Bloody hell, the powerband must be narrow as.

[inlinefour]

had been riding the yz80 for a wee bit and it decided that it had had enough and started to show some serious signs that it was about to implode. At first it was thought that it had holed the piston, however it was started again and thought the rings was the problem. Cannot remember who it was that said it (either WINJA or Dover), "the yamaha has been anal raped, its rings fucked". Was quite fitting, considering the next time it was started, it really let go...

[Milky]

Not the nicest topic for the quote to come from, but a great quote (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=812595&postcount=154) nonetheless.

[Racey Rider]

Ok folks, KB has a lot to read each day, and none of us can read everything.
If you come across some jem of a utterance,, Heres the place to share it with us all.

The Rules:
Quotes must be original, and a written post from KB'ers.
You can't post your own quotes! - someone else must think it's worthy.
If necessary, a little preface to set the context of the quote.



Who will have the best Quote of 07 ???
Writers! start your engines!!

[kiwifruit]

YOUR A BIT LIKE A MOTARD IN A WAY , BIG,LOUD AND SINGLE

heh heh

[Madness]

Don't have a torque wrench but I do have a small plastic mullet which is similar I assume.

I'd love to have a hold of this mullet some day.

From this thread (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=982438&postcount=8)

[RiderInBlack]

Thought this one was awesome:killingme :

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=4 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by DMNTD [/URL]
Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=4 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by Back Fire
.... hold me
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Now this is a prime example of when NOT to say HARDEN UP :nono: :shutup:
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
[URL="http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=984539&postcount=410"]From here (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=984539#post984539)

[marty]

I'd hazard a guess everyone has gone commando,especially in summer when at the beach swimming.

The wife has the odd shit forgot undies at night in bed lol,neat surprise to grope under blanket and find happy place without having to do the two fingured waltz to get around the elastic.

from here: http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=62349

[Swoop]

Well, the propaganda machine arrives again (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1354710&postcount=31).

"I don't understand why people always assume Police try and protect their own - it's kinda like "well if they are a Police Force of course they will protect their own...human nature and all that" - but its not true."

[325rocket]

how about ...


No, you ever been smacked in the head cos your a "dirty little cunt".

Truth of the matter is while we blokes are likely to think it, and quite frankly while some have probably done it, I do wonder whether your actually serious.

from Light's "have you ever? thread http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=57511

[Qkchk]

Who will have the best Quote of 07 ???
Writers! start your engines!!

So who did have the best quote of the year?

[Racey Rider]

So who did have the best quote of the year?

Thanks for your interest.
Poll started here (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=65999).

[Gubb]

Mate, that blue text is phenomenally hard to read.

[Weaver]

I love this one by JRandom


Guarantee there'd be far too much association with dodgy young gentlemen on bikes who'd sweet-talk her and bang her like a screen door in a hurricane before leaving me to pay the vet bills.


Form this thread http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=64787

[Swoop]

Mate, that blue text is phenomenally hard to read.
+1.
It is getting to be a question of whether to put onto the ignore list simply because of that.
It would be a shame to do so, but this may have to happen.

[RiderInBlack]

+1.
It is getting to be a question of whether to put onto the ignore list simply because of that.
It would be a shame to do so, but this may have to happen.Get over it (may this end in PD too:zzzz:).

[Swoop]

Get over it (may this end in PD too:zzzz:).
There is quite a difference in the blue of your font and of that mentioned. Yours is very readable yet the other is hard on the eyes and needs to be "clicked and dragged" to highlight what RR is saying.

[ukbandit]

A friend in need!! is a pest get rid of him! :2guns:

i think Eric morcombe

[RiderInBlack]

There is quite a difference in the blue of your font and of that mentioned. Yours is very readable yet the other is hard on the eyes and needs to be "clicked and dragged" to highlight what RR is saying.Well I used to used this font but then I had the whiners when The Dark Uni Started (Check my old posts), plus RR likes ta keep this colour for himself, so I use this now, but still feel ya Dudes and Dudettes could waste ya time better whining about other things:done:

[RiderInBlack]

+1, your blue is fine RIB (a teeny tiny bit lighter would help), have to peer a little closer, but don't have to resort to drag n highlight.Ya lucky that I don't post using this or these:devil2:And I aren't going gayer ta keep the whinging Dark-siders happy:bleh:

[Disco Dan]

I nominate Morcs...

Got to love us British ;) :jerry:



No you have paid for roads to be built and maintained. You pay for a licence for the privalege of using the road....I mean if you did not have a licence etc are you saying that because you paid for the roads to be built that you have the right to use the road...........

Yes thats exactly what im saying. I dont know any Judge/police officer has the right to tell me I cant use a road. Im British for fucks sake.

:bleh:


When I get all my tax money back for roads, acc etc... when they suspend my license, only then ill consider it a privaledge.

Until then I have paid to be on the road, and have every right to do so.

Only the Queen can tell me otherwise.

[Blue Velvet]

I love this one by JRandom

That is good.

But it's from 2008, and the poll is all about 2007... Heh.

[Weaver]

But it's from 2008, and the poll is all about 2007... Heh.

This thread isn't about the poll for 2007. This thread is for nominations. It has been since 2004 :Pokey:

[Qkchk]

After reading the thread about the supposed new law on loud pipes.......


When will these no brainers wake up. First thing they do when they buy a new piece of shit Harley, is to put a fukn great drill up the pipes. So now they have this shimmering, shaking, jack hammer, piece of gutless, shiney, shit roaring it's heads of, the fact still remains that they are a gutless heap of shit, that wouldn't pull a soldier of your sister.

Gotta laugh............... cause its true.

[Racey Rider]

Talking about the best way to converse (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=529740) on KB

Quote: John Banks
PMs are much faster, mate.

Quote: Strat
PMS is nastier tho

Quote: Zapf
does that stands for the Sports model?

[Swoop]

Just have to nominate this (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1429207&postcount=58) one.

Hey finn man seriously. You made your money as a flying cannon midget right?