Turning down a shag.

[Biff]

I went to a lap-dancing/strip joint with some guys I work with last night. There were some beautiful lovely ladies showing their bits, jiggling about and getting friendly with poles. Unfortunately all of the ladies went the ‘full-monty’, taking their knickers off as well. I for one would rather not to see what they had for breakfast.

Anyhooo. Pissed, I leave early-ish (1am?) and head back to my room, kinda missing Mrs Biff being that I was in the mood for a 'cuddle'. As I get into the a lift, a really cute/drunk, chick joins me. She smelt sexy. As the doors closed she turns, smiles at me, then asks me where I’ve been. I'm honest. She likes the idea of doing what those girls do for a living. She's even considering giving it a go herself.

"Are you lonely tonight?” she asks. Me thinking, elevator 'ho'. You find them all over the world, following single guys into hotel lifts at night, vying for business.

"Not really", I say.
"Shame", because I'd love to f*ck you", she replies.
"I'm not a prostitute", she continues, "here's my room key"

It took me all of 2 seconds to bring myself to say, "sorry - I'm married". Shit it was hard.

"Ohhhh - that's nice. She's lucky", says cute, sexy, short denim skirt n tight short t-shirt clad babe.

Gutted? Nah.

BS? Nah.

Once in a lifetime opportunity? Possibly.

Ego – off the fucking scale.



Sorry - I had to brag to someone.

[Shaun]

I went to a lap-dancing/strip joint with some guys I work with last night. There were some beautiful lovely ladies showing their bits, jiggling about and getting friendly with poles. Unfortunately all of the ladies went the ‘full-monty’, taking their knickers off as well. I for one would rather not to see what they had for breakfast.

Anyhooo. Pissed, I leave early-ish (1am?) and head back to my room, kinda missing Mrs Biff being that I was in the mood for a 'cuddle'. As I get into the a lift, a really cute/drunk, chick joins me. She smelt sexy. As the doors closed she turns, smiles at me, then asks me where I’ve been. I'm honest. She likes the idea of doing what those girls do for a living. She's even considering giving it a go herself.

"Are you lonely tonight?” she asks. Me thinking, elevator 'ho'. You find them all over the world, following single guys into hotel lifts at night, vying for business.

"Not really", I say.
"Shame", because I'd love to f*ck you", she replies.
"I'm not a prostitute", she continues, "here's my room key"

It took me all of 2 seconds to bring myself to say, "sorry - I'm married". Shit it was hard.

"Ohhhh - that's nice. She's lucky", says cute, sexy, short denim skirt n tight short t-shirt clad babe.

Gutted? Nah.

BS? Nah.

Once in a lifetime opportunity? Possibly.

Ego – off the fucking scale.



Sorry - I had to brag to someone.

Mrs Biff would be very proud of ya mate

[Calo]

I'm pretty sure I've seen that movie too, mate. :shake: :D :p

[oldrider]

Enjoy it while you can, your mind can't even process that shit when you get post viagra depression.
Reality takes over! :shit:

[Blackbird]

A dose of the clap is nothing to applaud:Playnice:

[Skyryder]

Turned it down myself on the odd occasion. Gets easier the second and third time etc. Self control's not easy but my god you can always have shave the next morning without the risk of cutting yourself. Greenie for that Biff

Skyryder

[Sparky Bills]

Im sure you feel good about yourself now. You were strong and could even say that the male came out on top in the end!

Stay strong! AND MARRIED!! haha

[Winston001]

Good man. Life is complicated enough without syphilis, pregnancy, child support, guilt, divorce............. And then there is eternal damnation. :blah:

[cowpoos]

you get her number for me lad?

[Motu]

I'd never turn down an offer like that....only because I know in 476 years I'd never get an offer like that.Some people are just repulsive to all levels of humanity.

[Lazy7]

I would have fucked her, then come on here and told everybody i didn't. Thats a win win situation right there. :yes:

[onearmedbandit]

Well done Biff, now you've got the evidence on-line that you honestly didn't do anything wrong and you have no idea how this girl you turned down got your home phone number. Thinking ahead as usual Biff.

[Finn]

$100 says Biff abused himself silly when he got to his room. So technically he was unfaithful.

[onearmedbandit]

That's a bet I'm not willing to take.....

[madboy]

Yep, the alibi is already set in place, aye biff?! How you came home from that business trip with an STD is beyond your comprehension considering you only met her in the lift.

Being a former pizza delivery boy, the odd opportunity has arisen. The first and most memorable has always stuck with me. I turned down the wet dream of my lifetime. Boy did I regret making those two hot drunk slappers pay $17.95 for their pizza at 2am - particular when the woman I was being faithful to was actually not being faithful to me at the time! [Not insinuating that Mrs Biff is eating off a different menu] I vowed never to make a similar mistake again.

[Coyote]

I'd never turn down an offer like that....only because I know in 476 years I'd never get an offer like that.Some people are just repulsive to all levels of humanity.
Yeah, it's a shame isn't it

[crashe]

Mr Biff............ well done mate.... Good on you for being faithful to your lovely wife, whilst you are travelling overseas....
and for being honest about it too......

:niceone: :niceone: :niceone: :niceone: :niceone: :niceone:

[Skyryder]

$100 says Biff abused himself silly when he got to his room. So technically he was unfaithful.

I'll take yer on again. Biff we go 50/50??

Skyryder

[Finn]

I'll take yer on again. Biff we go 50/50??

Skyryder

What do you mean "again" buttmunch? I think you're over-rating yourself.

If you continue to bore me with your idle banter I will have no other option but to add you to my ingnore list along with 1564 other members.

This is your last chance. Respect my authority.

[T.W.R]

A bit of self control aye Biff, could have had some wee friends hanging around with you today if you had taken up the offer :crazy: :doctor: or may have ended up like this bloke :slap:

[skidMark]

and you ddn't give her my address?

and you kept the room key right.....

can i come pick it up?

[Sniper]

Lucky bastard.

[Skyryder]

What do you mean "again" buttmunch? I think you're over-rating yourself.

Realy?? see my Fishing Photo competition. Ignore me? I don't think so.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Skyryder

[Biff]

$100 says Biff abused himself silly when he got to his room. So technically he was unfaithful.

I did not.


















I had an itch. So I scratched. :apumpin:




Nah - too pissed.

Besides I like to save myself for when I get home.

I don't send Mrs Biff a, "Landed" text any more. Just a, "Brace yourself" warning.

[Motoracer]

When I was with a partner before, I came across a few of these instances. It wasn't hard to turn em down. Once you love someone, you sort of don't really feel the need to seek out other potentials. Well I didn't anyway.

But maybe things change after a few years of being together?...

[Lou Girardin]

She might have SAID she wasn't "in trade". But I bet if you'd shagged her there would have been a demand for cash backed up by Mike Tyson's ugly brother.

[Fishy]

Could have called Mrs Biff and seen if she wants a bit of extra company???

[bugjuice]

so what was her room number again..??

[Grahameeboy]

so what was her room number again..??

69....................................I live closer BJ.....

[Grahameeboy]

Could have called Mrs Biff and seen if she wants a bit of extra company???

Have you and Cowpoos being talking again about his visit..........

[bugjuice]

what? and that's an offer?
no offense, but I really can't picture you in a mini skirt. And I don't want too..


btw, found these two songs, thought it might set the mood for ya biff..

[Colapop]

One word - Integrity. When the world is at your feet, the only person you have to answer to is yourself.

[Paul in NZ]

Dunno what the fuss is really...

I was offered a shag the other day as well but turned it down.

More a canary man myself and really we don't need anymore pets around the place.

[Grahameeboy]

what? and that's an offer?
no offense, but I really can't picture you in a mini skirt. And I don't want too..


btw, found these two songs, thought it might set the mood for ya biff..

No problem I will take it off then..................

[SpeedyGirl]

I don't send Mrs Biff a, "Landed" text any more. Just a, "Brace yourself" warning.



Bwahahahaha :rofl:

[Patrick]

As you said, you were pissed... I bet "she" was more a she man with a 5 o'clock shadow, large adams apple, birdseed bag breasts and whats left of the old fella tucked up its arse and looked like Mike Tyson in the sober light of day... and you were tempted...:Pokey:

[Ixion]

Dunno what the fuss is really...

I was offered a shag the other day as well but turned it down.

More a canary man myself and really we don't need anymore pets around the place.

Costs a fortune in fish too. I know a woman who looks after shags, and they're expensive to keep.

Not to mention shitting everywhere.

Y'done wise.

[Paul in NZ]

Costs a fortune in fish too. I know a woman who looks after shags, and they're expensive to keep.

Not to mention shitting everywhere.

Y'done wise.

Nasty bitey critters as well. I came across one tangled in a net in an estuary while I was kayaking once and did my level best to save it in the face of the incoming tide but it wouldn't let me get close enough to free it and I didn't have a knife.

I lost the battle tring to hold the net up with one hand and hold the paddle with the other. Eventually I got the net over the front of the kayak and held id up long enough to call the RSPCA on my cell phone (got an answer machine) and then a bird sanctuary but they were not keen to come and help me (musta heard about the fish)

Eventually, after an hour and a half, the tide got to a point where it was him or me (dragging the boat down and my blood sugars were getting dodgy) and thankfully it expired from the exertions. Quite sad.

well thats my shag story....

[idb]

Turned it down myself on the odd occasion. Gets easier the second and third time etc. Self control's not easy but my god you can always have shave the next morning without the risk of cutting yourself. Greenie for that Biff

Skyryder
I find it's one of the advantages of being unattractive to women.......or men...........or animals. Ok I'm butt-ugly.
No moral dilemmas for me!

[Indiana_Jones]

Tap 'n' dash

-Indy

[GIXser]

I went to a lap-dancing/strip joint with some guys I work with last night. There were some beautiful lovely ladies showing their bits, jiggling about and getting friendly with poles. Unfortunately all of the ladies went the ‘full-monty’, taking their knickers off as well. I for one would rather not to see what they had for breakfast.

Anyhooo. Pissed, I leave early-ish (1am?) and head back to my room, kinda missing Mrs Biff being that I was in the mood for a 'cuddle'. As I get into the a lift, a really cute/drunk, chick joins me. She smelt sexy. As the doors closed she turns, smiles at me, then asks me where I’ve been. I'm honest. She likes the idea of doing what those girls do for a living. She's even considering giving it a go herself.

"Are you lonely tonight?” she asks. Me thinking, elevator 'ho'. You find them all over the world, following single guys into hotel lifts at night, vying for business.

"Not really", I say.
"Shame", because I'd love to f*ck you", she replies.
"I'm not a prostitute", she continues, "here's my room key"

It took me all of 2 seconds to bring myself to say, "sorry - I'm married". Shit it was hard.

"Ohhhh - that's nice. She's lucky", says cute, sexy, short denim skirt n tight short t-shirt clad babe.

Gutted? Nah.

BS? Nah.

Once in a lifetime opportunity? Possibly.

Ego – off the fucking scale.



Sorry - I had to brag to someone.

you sure you didnt f#@k her little ass off, and this thread is just to show mrs Biff, that her husband doesnt do that kinda thing--????:laugh:

ps you sure it wasnt a tranny--:laugh:

ps good on ya for saying no--would you have said no if it was say...... Carmen electra or similar

[SlashWylde]

Fuckin good on you man! :niceone: I'm impressed. Can be quite a hard *ahem* position to be in but a real man will value what he has and who he loves, and not risk throwing it away on a one night stand.

Bling coming your way.

[R6_kid]

Tap 'n' dash

-Indy

its tap and gap you fucktard.... AKA TAG...

[ducatilover]

fuck! thats some impressive selfcontrol. :spudwave: good onya dude

[scumdog]

I find it's one of the advantages of being unattractive to women.......or men...........or animals. Ok I'm butt-ugly.
No moral dilemmas for me!

You need to drink more.

Then you will be 'attractive' - esecially if you've already poured about $30 worth of bourbon down the throat of the 'object' of your desire.:shifty:


And yeah, my butt sure is more attractive than you!!:lol:

[Streetwise]

I would have fucked her, then come on here and told everybody i didn't. Thats a win win situation right there. :yes:


Now that good