Women, in all their glory

[WRT]

What can I say . . . some women have just got it going on . . . and others just have no idea whats going on.

[Back Fire]

That last one must have been the pick of the litter...

[Sniper]

Hahahaha, more intelligent than men my arse!

[Goblin]

That last one must have been the pick of the litter...
:laugh: :laugh: :killingme Pissed myself laughing!!

[Buster]

Ha ha funny as! Last 1 was sick! :rofl:

[GR81]

That last one must have been the pick of the litter...
the one trying to pick a winner? lol

[BEAMER89]

Exerlent,well done, The last one what can l say.:Oops:

[35tickets]

Oh dear, must be something about home video cameras, words fail me......

[yungatart]

when we girls drink too much............

1. we have absolutely no idea where our purse is.

2. we believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt
while yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. we've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly
believe we could do it too.

4. in our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless
hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago.

5. we drop our 3:00 a.m. kebab or pie we're eating (even though we are not
the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it

6. we start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo
much.

7. we get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song
plays because "oh my god! i love this song!"

8. we've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us

9. the man we're flirting with used to be our 5th grade teacher.

10. our eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so we keep
them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

11. we've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

12. we yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just
lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the gin.

13. we start every conversation with a booming, "don't take this the wrong
way but..."

14. our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

15. we are tired so we just sit on the floor (wherever we happen to be
standing) and take a quick nap.

16. we take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're
having problems walking straight.

[Colapop]

I ... Ummmm ... have that album....:whistle: it's by Gretchen Wilson (she's hot)

The rest of them in that clip are just nuts

[Jackrat]

Yep,multiple tasking.
How to get four things fucked in the same time it takes a bloke to do one.

[Coyote]

...
16. we take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're
having problems walking straight.
17. You lose your virginity in a one night stand cause you're not thinking, leaving your boyfriend feeling miserable when your friend tells him a week later

[yungatart]

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more symmetrically 'balanced', as she put it.

"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?" "Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from apart of you. Now let's see... where did I put that useless boob?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?

[Back Fire]

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?

You should become a politician.... you speak fluant BS

[Storm]

Shes female- trained since birth to tell it that way :bleh:

[u4ea]

only saw some of the clip......if i look like that,shoot me:ar15:

[Dont_die_wondering]

Rayza That last one must have been the pick of the litter... -LOL ahahahahaahahahahaha tff :lol: i think one of those girls was a guy wearing a wig :pinch:

[yungatart]

God was just about done creating humans. But he had two parts left over.
He couldn’t decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might as well ask them what they wanted to do.
He told them that one of the left-over parts would enable the possessor to pee whilst standing up.
“It’s a very handy thing,” said God. “I was wondering which of you would like it”
Well…Adam jumped up and down and begged. “Oh please can I? It’s sounds wonderful, I’d love to be able to do that. It sounds just the sort of thing a man should have. Please oh please can I have it???” On and on like an excited little boy.
Eve just smiled and said that if Adam really wanted it so badly then he should have it.
So God said “Fair enough” and Adam got the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.
Adam was so excited that he ran around peeing on rocks, writing his name in the sand, trying to hit flies and then to see how far away he could hit a tree stump. All the while laughing with delight.
Eve and God watched him with amusement for a bit, then God said “Well Eve, I guess you are stuck with the other left-over part”
Eve asked what it was…..
“Brains” said God

[Fishy]

haha that was bloody funny!.

[MSTRS]

Right. That's it. I'm never putting the seat down now. Or up. Or whatever I'm accused of (not) doing.:blip:

[MSTRS]

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy).For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose.