Personal Adverts from Dublin times

[Blackadda]

:rofl:
Heavy drinker - 35 Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and has been known to starting fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.

Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long time fiancée, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.

Ginger haired Galway man, a born troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and thirsty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.

Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21-year-old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20-year-old double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister

:rofl:

[Back Fire]

:

Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20-year-old double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister

:rofl:

Me next... yes please

[R6_kid]

lol, least you cant have them up for being dishonest!

[The Beast]

lol, least you cant have them up for being dishonest!
My thoughts exactly!!

[Mort]

Who said Scots Romance is dead! These are REAL ADS from the
lonely-hearts column.

Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone,
Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango
sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.
Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03

Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested
in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on
Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in
this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a
few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe
more Box 84/87

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach,
writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes,
seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we
bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy
journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will
include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social
functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old ******* living in a damp cottage in the
arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big
chest. Box 40/27

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and
dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering
dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.
Box 52/07

Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler
competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978,
seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent
comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please!
Box 30/41

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for
the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm




:niceone:

[Steam]

Not even a flicker of a giggle from Mr Steam's fortress of solitude.

[Stirts]

Who said Scots Romance is dead! These are REAL ADS from the lonely-hearts column.

Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.
Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08


Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03


Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.


Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41


Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more Box 84/87


Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32


Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45


Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old fucker living in a damp cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27


Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07


Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978,
> seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41


Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm.

[YellowDog]

Scottish Foreplay = "Brace yourslf Agnes, I'm coming in"

[Stirts]

Scottish Foreplay = "Brace yourslf Agnes, I'm coming in"

:rofl: love it!!


Scottish Fellatio

Oral sex is a great favorite with the Scotsman. He approaches his wife with a cheeky invitation, 'Howl ya like to put yer teeth roon this?'

The woman nods willingly and points suggestively to her falsies smiling happily in a bedside tumbler. 'Go on yersel,' she says, 'list dinnae disturb me.'

[slofox]

Hmmmm No. 8 sounds vaguely familiar....

[allycatz]

God who needs NZ Dating...im off to Scotland...yeah rite!:crazy:

[P38]

Hahahahaha

Excellent approach.

Bet they got heaps of replies.

Especially from the Hatchet - Faced Bitches mentioned by the Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian in number four.

[mashman]

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm.

Quality...

[EatOrBeEaten]

*gets all nostalgic for the old country*

I think I met #5 a few times, vomiting into dustbins and picking fights on Sauchiehall street. Ah, those were the days....