Best retort

[Insanity_rules]

OK guys, whats your best retort for the statement "Oh so you're a temporary kiwi then" when you tell people you ride a bike? I hate that statement and I hear it quite a lot.

I tend to use the old gem "Yep especially with brain surgeons like you on the road". So what do you say?

[Blairos]

"Would rather be that, than permanantly bored... anyhow, define temporary... 65-70 years?"

[Scouse]

OK guys, whats your best retort for the statement "Oh so you're a temporary kiwi then" when you tell people you ride a bike?

I tend to use the old gem "Yep especially with brain surgeons like you on the road". So what do you say?Say "Oh and you must be a permanant Cunt you certainly smell like a well used and unwashed permanant Cunt"

[kickingzebra]

Funny, thats what they said to me 7 years ago when I started. Yup, real temporary.

[Macktheknife]

....oh Im sorry I didnt realise I was talking to someone who lives their life in fear and hasnt got the courage to live life to the maximum.
....life must be so terrible for you if you cant enjoy what you love due to fear of consequence.
... Not as temporary as you are if you keep that shit up!
....So what you're telling me is you have no balls/guts then?
Any of the above usually do the trick.

[Jonty]

I don't mind that question cause I simply ask them if they are too pussy to ride a bike. The question that annoys me is "so do you dress up in one of those gay leather suits?" :mad:

[GR81]

*kick in the nuts* :stoogie:

[onearmedbandit]

Don't know any who are not going to die. So what's your point?

[Maha]

Personally i think that question does not deserve an answer from an intelligent bike rider to an arrogant unintelligent judgemental non bike rider...:scratch:

[sAsLEX]

" Hows traffic and the congestion charge and the parking charge working for you?"


for when they follow London and give bikes free congestion charges!

[Mental Trousers]

Reply - so are you. What, you think you're gonna live forever??

[eliot-ness]

Don't have to say anything. The wrinkles and grey hair say it all for me. I've been riding longer than most of them have been alive, (if that's what they call living)

[Harry33]

Yeah I could die while riding my bike...or your wife/girlfriend...

[msm]

I didn't realize not riding a motorbike was the key to immortality.

We're all temporary anyway.

[Skyryder]

OK guys, whats your best retort for the statement "Oh so you're a temporary kiwi then"

"Only if I'm in front of you when you're driving."

Skyryder

[Skyryder]

*kick in the nuts* :stoogie:

followed by "Nothing temporary about my temper it's permanent."

Skyryder

[Big Dave]

I've used "Yep - and it's heaps more interesting than being a permanent NERD like you." to good effect.

[beyond]

You live life more in one hour on a motorbike than most people live in a lifetime.

[Crasherfromwayback]

You'll die before me if you don't fuck off.

[Dont_die_wondering]

Originally Posted by Insanity_rules
OK guys, whats your best retort for the statement "Oh so you're a temporary kiwi then"

-"yea arsehole so quit wasting my precious time" :rockon:

[Mental Trousers]

look them over head to toe then back up again then laugh and walk away.

[Dont_die_wondering]

You'll die before me if you don't fuck off.
love it! :laugh:

[Dont_die_wondering]

"watsa matter cager? parking meter run out of money???"

[Jackrat]

Only heard that question a few times in thirty odd years of riding.
My usual responce is that I've been riding longer that they've been alive.
A shit load of times that's true.
The other thing I like to point out is that at my age "which isn't really that old anyway" I have lived longer that a hell of a lot of people are going to,so I'm well in front.

[Matt Bleck]

I just put on a sarcastic smile and say "yeah"

fuck's em every time.

[WINJA]

i dont care if i die my lifes gone down hill since i rooted your mum in the bum

[Crasherfromwayback]

i dont care if i die my lifes gone down hill since i rooted your mum in the bum
I'd understand if you said that to me, cause my Mums filthy.

[Coyote]

I've never been told that myself. However I'd give them the Double Deuce (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail24.html)

[SwanTiger]

I had someone make that very comment to me as a joke not so long ago.

My response was an ignorant one, "Nah, I was born here"

Everyone in the room started laughing at the person who asked.

[Crasherfromwayback]

I had someone make that very comment to me as a joke not so long ago.

My response was an ignorant one, "Nah, I was born here"

Everyone in the room started laughing at the person who asked.
Yeah that's good, I like it!

[inlinefour]

OK guys, whats your best retort for the statement "Oh so you're a temporary kiwi then" when you tell people you ride a bike? I hate that statement and I hear it quite a lot.

I tend to use the old gem "Yep especially with brain surgeons like you on the road". So what do you say?

Do you have two dicks? Cause you can't be that stupid playing with just one. Its idiots like yourself who make us temporary.

I like the I was born here, will have to use that one...

[local]

I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

With the current government, yes.

[kro]

"I can't die, the Devil's my pillion"

[surfchick]

may-be i should be working on a few irish curses for the cagers when they say that:

1) may the roof of your car fall in
2) may the cat eat your car and may the devil eat the cat
3) a red nail in the tounge that said it
4) may you be broken over the manawatu gorge
5) may the devil swallow your car and yourself sideways

mostly though i let a wee grin come over me face with a twinkle in my eye...

[What?]

Usual retort: We're all temporary.

Effective retort: Why don't you ask the kids in the Starship cancer ward for their opinion on that?

[nodrog]

OK guys, whats your best retort for the statement "Oh so you're a temporary kiwi then" when you tell people you ride a bike? I hate that statement and I hear it quite a lot.

I tend to use the old gem "Yep especially with brain surgeons like you on the road". So what do you say?

usally just look them square in the eye and say "what do you mean?" then listen to the uneducated bullshit that dribbles out of their mouths, keeps me amused for a couple of minutes.

[Insanity_rules]

Oh guys I love the answers you've given so far, can i use some of em? Love the Nah I was born here especially!

I hate that statement so much I want to make the user look real foolish so you've given me some great cannon fodder.

Keep em comin!!!

[vs04]

I,m sorry,i didnt realise you were an idiot until you started talking.

[sugilite]

"If I had wanted to hear from an arsehole, I would have farted"

[pritch]

Used to cop that occasionally, usually accompanied by a silly sort of knowing grin. More of a "know fuck-all" grin really.

It's right up there with that one,
"All you need to ride a motor bike is size eleven boots and a size three helmet."

One advantage of being an old fart, I'm probably older than the dick heads who would normally say these things, so the thought probably doesn't occur to them.

[vs04]

"If I had wanted to hear from an arsehole, I would have farted"
Now thats a good one,well done sir.

[thehollowmen]

Appologies to bill hicks:

With all the advantages in medicine they'll soon be able to fix us most of the time we get hit. Replace the organs fix us up andwe'll be all better. Those kiwis who live a healthy life will die of nothing.

In 40 years they'll be in a bed dying and the doctor will say "shit, if only you'd smoked or rode motorcycles we'd be able to help ya"

[sAsLEX]

Replace the organs fix us up andwe'll be all better.

they have just managed to grow a bladder in a lab, so more complex organs cant be that far off!

[sunhuntin]

havent exactly had that question asked, but when people find out i ride, i kinda get looked at funny.....my usual comment at such a time is "id rather die on the road doin somethin i love, than die old and in a bed!"

which is the honest to god truth. my bike and i will die together....of that i am certain. and i for one will welcome in the embrace of the reaper when he calls.

[SARGE]

no one gets out alive...

[crash harry]

You've missed the obvious one:

Asshat: "Oh, another temporary New Zealander.. <dribble dribble bullshit...>"
Biker: "Fuck Off"

Honestly, that says it all IMHO...

[Hitcher]

Reply: "The first time I heard that I fell out of my cot laughing."

[mstriumph]

"Are you trying to be offensive? ......*pause*......... it needs some work"

then smile :yes:

[Bonez]

Generaly just ignor the comment. The evil grin on my face gets them worried though. :devil2:

[Whynot]

how about this .....
"Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people."

[Shadows]

I haven't heard that one before. I don't waste my breath talking to arseholes.

[Lazy7]

i would say: "Yes - you are probably right"

Road fatalities in New Zealand 1997 to 2004
97 98 99 00 01 02 03 04
Drivers 253 221 254 244 233 220 235 223
Bikers 52 47 39 29 34 28 27 32

it looks like its getting better. but by percentages, its still not very good.

[nudemetalz]

I reply with "So what have you done lately that gives you a thrill? Temporary shag ?"...

[kickingzebra]

Bah stuff it, punch them in the eye, then laugh when they cry, and walk away rubbing one butt cheek and patting the other....

[Insanity_rules]

"Are you trying to be offensive? ......*pause*......... it needs some work"

then smile :yes:

Thank you mstriumph, I tried this one losely and it worked a treat. The rebutted looked like a complete fool! :killingme

[Insanity_rules]

Bah stuff it, punch them in the eye, then laugh when they cry, and walk away rubbing one butt cheek and patting the other....

Cool, I understand the punch. But rubbing one butt cheek and patting the other???? explain?

[Brett]

My wife is an intern doctor, i regularly have her tell me that they refer to bike riders, i.e. me, and portable organ donors.
When asked if i am a temporary citizen..."what I am gonna die oneday??????"
I mean, we ride the things, see people we know get killed/hurt...do they really think their comment will change our attitude?
I like to think that those of us willing to have fun and take risks are the well seasoned eye fillet steaks, whereas those who make those comments are the sorta bargain packs of blade steak you buy at pak'n'save for 5 bucks and use in a stew.
I dont want to end up in a stew.

[kickingzebra]

Cool, I understand the punch. But rubbing one butt cheek and patting the other???? explain?

It's all about proving ones superiority beyond a doubt.
We have all practiced patting our heads, and rubbing our stomaches, but to what avail? If we can interchangeably, left and right butt cheek pat and rub, then we are set apart as a different breed, and the abuser will have no choice but to feel weak and wounded.

[Smorg]

....fuck off....

[N4CR]

"Yeah... really"? Is what I usually say, I'm not a smartarse contrary to how I come across on here. I sometimes rip out the "you live more in 5 minutes on a motorbike than some people live in their entire lives", that usually shuts them up though.

So friggen true. P.S... might organise a ride out the back of clevedon on some more alternative roads I have found during lunch breaks at my CPL course... hehehe!

[Quartida]

"Temporary New Zealander?"

"Temporary fuckwit?"

[Pixie]

Go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut

[Sniper]

Tempory New Zealander aye?

Yea, so what?/ Fuck you/ You come up with that yourself?

[Stevo]

"So you stand their smokin a fag and tellin me I'm temporary?"
"I'd rather die young having lived than die old never having lived at all!"
"Temporary as I wanna be. I ride with maturity. Do you know what maturity is?" :rofl:

[Racey Rider]

"Maybe.
Hopfully I won't get 'Taken out' by YOU and your Car!"

[Edbear]

Don't have to say anything. The wrinkles and grey hair say it all for me. I've been riding longer than most of them have been alive, (if that's what they call living)




Yeah, when you started riding bikes 35 years ago.... what's temporary?

[Edbear]

my bike and i will die together....of that i am certain. and i for one will welcome in the embrace of the reaper when he calls.





Mmmm, but I don't much like pain, and the percentage of bikers who are killed instantly compared with those who are hurt is the wrong way around... Would be better to die instantly than a lingering death, but that usually requires forethought and planning. Sorry, not meaning to be a killjoy, this is an interesting thread!

[gixermike]

temporary Kiwi:
"yeah, your wife / daughter said something about YOU being temporary in bed when I shagged her"

Mobile Organ Donor
"well your missus / daughter didn't mind my organ being mobile in her".

probably quickly folowed by ducking, running, or just twatting them with you helmet.

Mike

[Jantar]

Those people who think they're scared of dying are actually scared of living. :finger:

[u4ea]

mine was work hard play harder but at the mo its gees i cant wait to get back in the saddle!!!!!!!!!! ::spudflip: to those who dont get what is to love riding i say because i can!!!!:finger:

[petesmeats]

Yeah well.... (pause for 5-6 secs)
Your mums a temporary kiwi...

[Insanity_rules]

Yeah well.... (pause for 5-6 secs)
Your mums a temporary kiwi...

I love yo Momma jokes, just trying to find the right one to add to the mix.
Did the well your girlfriend said you were temporary in bed one last night to a buddy and that shut him down.

[Swoop]

"Temporary New Zealander? - as opposed to a permanent fuckwit like you?"

or

"Looking at the statistics on dumb-fuck car drivers, bikes are far safer!"

[SPman]

Cant be bothered replying, most of the time - just stare at them with a bemused smile <_< .........sometimes say ... " yeah...been temporary for 40 odd years now!" and wander off.....

[Stinkwheeler]

Personally never had that one before, but I've had:

"Trade in the bike. You can't fall off a car."

from a smart arse car dealer. My retort was the usual :finger:when-he-wasn't-looking routine. Sometimes you're left speechless with their stupidity <_<