Assault

[NotaGoth]

Say if you were female and in a situation where you have an arguement with an ex partner, the arguement gets rather heated. You end up being twak'd one round the face. Would you follow through with an assault charge against the person involved?

[Timber020]

Being a guy Im unlikely to do the assault thing against a women. However Im hugely against guys that hit girls, its a bit old fashioned but I have done some pretty serious shit against guys that have hit girls either in my company or hit girls who are friends or family.
If I was you, and hes just an ex partner, I'd go to the police.

[Sensei]

Nail his arse to the Wall Furby :Police: . Then we can pay him a visit & repay the favour !! :msn-wink:

[Kendog]

As long as you didn't hit him first, I say, get medievil on his ass!
Mrs KD

[NotaGoth]

Long story behind the whole sticky situation but definately an ex. He's threatening to get a restraining order against me so will be interesting to see how that goes considering I'm the one whos been twak'd.





Its ok Sensei, just talking to mum now shes told me not to go to the cops. She wants to use word of mouth, seen as he knows alot of people who are GOOD friends with my parents. Sounds like I prolly won't have to do anything and he'll get his back. *wonderZ* if thats wrong to let that happen though

[Sensei]

ok Sensei, just talking to mum now shes told me not to go to the cops. She wants to use word of mouth, seen as he knows alot of people who are GOOD friends with my parents. Sounds like I prolly won't have to do anything and he'll get his back. *wonderZ* if thats wrong to let that happen though

Depends if ya like been hit by Ex-partners in the face if so leave it if not then he well be given what he should be ! :kick: :eyepoke:

[poorbastard]

Had similar problem with an ex. But as a guy what can you do when a chick leashes out at you but let it go and just keep away. She even threatened to tip the bikes over that was pretty much when the restraining order threats had to come in.

[BuFfY]

I wouldn't go to the cops either.... The word of mouth idea is much better.

Possibly write down exactly what happened so that if it happens again you have it in writing that it isn't the first time

[Scorpygirl]

Kittie - feel for you girl!!! *hugz* Not much I can offer - just go and make a statement to the cops!

[Magua]

Word of mouth might shame him, but put it in words and see what the cops can do for you. Well, that's what I'd do.

[BuFfY]

Just a question... was it a serious hit? Was he violent in the relationship or was it a heat of the moment thing?

[Rhino]

Nail his arse to the Wall Furby :Police: . Then we can pay him a visit & repay the favour !! :msn-wink:
Totally agree. "I don't know what happened officer. he just fell over the fence/down the stairs while I was walking past.<_< Pity he broke a limb in the fall.":killingme

Unfortunately that is the only way that some of these barbarians will ever learn.:doh:

[NotaGoth]

Just a question... was it a serious hit? Was he violent in the relationship or was it a heat of the moment thing?


Do you think a punch in the face is a serious hit??

[WINJA]

youll prolly end up going out with him again , its always the way woman cant help themselves

[sAsLEX]

But as a guy what can you do when a chick leashes out at you but let it go and just keep away.

Defend yourself! Push them away firmly and back away leave. If they come at you more seriously well....... equal oppurtunities and all that.....

[NotaGoth]

youll prolly end up going out with him again , its always the way woman cant help themselves'

The day he gets help WINJA.

[cowpoos]

start rumour that he has a really small penis aswell.....

[Smorg]

reminds me of the jetson's. That time fred hit wilma. Up to you in regards to the assault charge. Im just left wondering why you are still associating with him if he thinks you enjoy knuckle sandwichs

[WINJA]

'

The day he gets help WINJA.
AND THIS IS THE PROBLEM , WHY ARE FEMALES SO STUPID , IVE LEARNT NOT TO GET INVOLVED ANY MORE , ONLY THE WOMAN CAN HELP HERSELF AND IF YOU THINK HE CAN GET HELP NOT TO HIT YOU YOUR AN IDIOT , REAL MEN DONT HIT WOMAN AND A MAN THAT DOES SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE CAUSE IF HE HIT YOU HES ACTUALLY DONE 2 THINGS WRONG 1ST HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND SECOND HE DID IT, WHEN IN REALITY VIOLENCE TOWARDS YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ENTERED HIS MIND , TRUST ME HE PROLLY TORTURES ANIMALS AS WELL . WALK AWAY AND FORGET ABOUT HIM.

[Crasherfromwayback]

start rumour that he has a really small penis aswell.....
He obviously has a small penis if he's prepared to hit women.
Lay an assult charge.
Print his name here.
Do your best to avoid such people in the future, even though you only discover they're like that when it's too late.

[WINJA]

was it motoracer? it was wasnt it , i knew that guy was dodgy

[Badcat]

AND THIS IS THE PROBLEM , WHY ARE FEMALES SO STUPID , IVE LEARNT NOT TO GET INVOLVED ANY MORE , ONLY THE WOMAN CAN HELP HERSELF AND IF YOU THINK HE CAN GET HELP NOT TO HIT YOU YOUR AN IDIOT , REAL MEN DONT HIT WOMAN AND A MAN THAT DOES SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE CAUSE IF HE HIT YOU HES ACTUALLY DONE 2 THINGS WRONG 1ST HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND SECOND HE DID IT, WHEN IN REALITY VIOLENCE TOWARDS YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ENTERED HIS MIND , TRUST ME HE PROLLY TORTURES ANIMALS AS WELL . WALK AWAY AND FORGET ABOUT HIM.


i totally agree with WINJA.
if he's hit you once, he'll do it again.
there's only ONE person that can stop it.

you.


and go to the cops.
he's an oxygen thieving spineless little maggot. a real man doesn't hit women. period.
you don't deserve to be hit - so why take him back?


k

[cowpoos]

AND THIS IS THE PROBLEM , WHY ARE FEMALES SO STUPID , IVE LEARNT NOT TO GET INVOLVED ANY MORE , ONLY THE WOMAN CAN HELP HERSELF AND IF YOU THINK HE CAN GET HELP NOT TO HIT YOU YOUR AN IDIOT , REAL MEN DONT HIT WOMAN AND A MAN THAT DOES SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE CAUSE IF HE HIT YOU HES ACTUALLY DONE 2 THINGS WRONG 1ST HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND SECOND HE DID IT, WHEN IN REALITY VIOLENCE TOWARDS YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ENTERED HIS MIND , TRUST ME HE PROLLY TORTURES ANIMALS AS WELL . WALK AWAY AND FORGET ABOUT HIM.
I second that........

[cowpoos]

was it motoracer? it was wasnt it , i knew that guy was dodgy
nope....wasn't MR

[NotaGoth]

reminds me of the jetson's. That time fred hit wilma. Up to you in regards to the assault charge. Im just left wondering why you are still associating with him if he thinks you enjoy knuckle sandwichs


This happened tonight. I'm now at home. With my mum. Away from him?

[Canuck]

Do you know any of his old girlfriends?
Is that the first time or has he hit other girlfriends?

[Scorpygirl]

reminds me of the jetson's. That time fred hit wilma. Up to you in regards to the assault charge. Im just left wondering why you are still associating with him if he thinks you enjoy knuckle sandwichs

Sorry to throw a spanner into this thread but Fred and Wilma are from the Flintstones!!! :killingme As you were... back to thread.

[Crasherfromwayback]

Do you know any of his old girlfriends?
Is that the first time or has he hit other girlfriends?
Doesn't matter if it is Dude....in her case it should be the first and last time it happens.

[motobull]

Firstly hope you are ok and are in a safe place now.
But don't let him get away with it..any guy that hits a chick is a complete retard and a gutlles wanker, but he will do it again so go to the cops and lay charges.

[dveus]

While I agree hitting a women is low. Would everybody be feeling the same had the roles been reversed? I can almost guarantee the general advise here would not be to go ahead and lay assault charges.

[inlinefour]

AND THIS IS THE PROBLEM , WHY ARE FEMALES SO STUPID , IVE LEARNT NOT TO GET INVOLVED ANY MORE , ONLY THE WOMAN CAN HELP HERSELF AND IF YOU THINK HE CAN GET HELP NOT TO HIT YOU YOUR AN IDIOT , REAL MEN DONT HIT WOMAN AND A MAN THAT DOES SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE CAUSE IF HE HIT YOU HES ACTUALLY DONE 2 THINGS WRONG 1ST HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND SECOND HE DID IT, WHEN IN REALITY VIOLENCE TOWARDS YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ENTERED HIS MIND , TRUST ME HE PROLLY TORTURES ANIMALS AS WELL . WALK AWAY AND FORGET ABOUT HIM.

The abuse cycle is a hard one. As Winja said, don't give the wanker a 2nd chance, no matter what. Once is enough and if you give the krunt long enough he'll do it again cause he knows he can get away with it. Despite the emotional baggage, you need to put yourself first. You need time away from this situation as its likely to get worse if you don't.:Police: <--- these guys/gals are helpfull also, charge the arsewipe before ya head off, or he'll do it to another wimmin.

[dveus]

This happened tonight. I'm now at home. With my mum. Away from him?

This is the best thing you can do. Get yourself out of the situation and with people who care.

[Crasherfromwayback]

While I agree hitting a women is low. Would everybody be feeling the same had the roles been reversed? I can almost guarantee the general advise here would not be to go ahead and lay assault charges.
Sorry dude, a guy should be man enough to take a smack in the chops and then depart if the woman that threw said punch was a physco.
A guy that smacks a woman in the chops is no better than a rapist and deserves a criminal record similar to one.

[dveus]

And whys that?

I'm not defending what the guy has done, but from lashing out once in a heated situation to being compared with a rapist is a little on the rough side.

[inlinefour]

Sorry dude, a guy should be man enough to take a smack in the chops and then depart if the woman that threw said punch was a physco.
A guy that smacks a woman in the chops is no better than a rapist and deserves a criminal record similar to one.

Ive been hit once then blocked the rest from a wimmin. Block well and it often hurts em and they stop. Should be able to walk away from the situation and anyone who says a wimmin hitting a male is just as bad, is a tad stooopid!:finger:

[Karma]

I've known plenty of birds I wanted to slap... but that's what the paddle is for.

Lets keep it clean folks...

WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE WOMEN!

[WINJA]

While I agree hitting a women is low. Would everybody be feeling the same had the roles been reversed? I can almost guarantee the general advise here would not be to go ahead and lay assault charges.
I WOULDNT LAY A CHARGE IF A WOMAN HIT ME .

I WAS A BIT HASTY WHEN I SAID REAL MEN DONT HIT WOMAN CAUSE IF A WOMAN OR A MAN OR EVEN A 10 YEAR OLD KID HIT MY WIFE AND I WAS STANDING THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED I WOULD HIT THEM REAL FUCKEN HARD I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MORALS RIGHT OR WRONG OR WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OR THE LAW CAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO MY OWN WIFE ID DO ANYTHING TO STOP HER BEING HURT AND ID PUNISH ANY PERSON THAT HARMS HER.

[dveus]

Ive been hit once then blocked the rest from a wimmin. Block well and it often hurts em and they stop. Should be able to walk away from the situation and anyone who says a wimmin hitting a male is just as bad, is a tad stooopid!:finger:

So your telling me if Laila Ali comes at me swinging, I'm just supposed to be easily able to block her and walk away?

There will always be exceptions to every rule.

[N4CR]

Men should never hit women. If they do around me I'll be doing the hits back <_<

edit: as winja said in life threatening situations or something there are exceptions... durr.

[WINJA]

So your telling me if Laila Ali comes at me swinging, I'm just supposed to be easily block her and walk away?

There will always be exceptions to every rule.
THATS AN EXCEPTION , THATS WHY ID LIKE TO CORRECT MYSELF , I DONT BELIEVE IN HITTING WOMAN AND ID NEVER HIT MY PARTNER BUT YOU GOTTA DEFEND YOURSELF , SOME WOMAN ARE QUITE STRONG

[Crasherfromwayback]

And whys that?

I'm not defending what the guy has done, but from lashing out once in a heated situation to being compared with a rapist is a little on the rough side.
Why's that?
If you don't have the control to refrain from hitting a woman, not matter what level of provacation you have, why are you any different from the cave men that rape?
Both crimes are from weak men that have no control and seek power.
Would you want to bash the guy that raped your mother just like you would the guy that bashed your mother?
I would.

[WINJA]

Men should never hit women. If they do around me I'll be doing the hits back <_<
WHAT IF SHE WAS A BIG STREET HO AND SHE BOTLLED A COMPLETE STRANGER FOR NO REASON AND THEN HE PUNCHED HER OUT , CAUSE IN THAT CASE SHES REALLY GOT IT COMING TO HER

[WINJA]

Men should never hit women. If they do around me I'll be doing the hits back <_<

edit: as winja said in life threatening situations or something there are exceptions... durr.
BUT IF YOU SAW SOMEONE LIKE KITTY GETTING SLAPPED ON THE STREET WOULD YOU HELP, IVE STEPPED IN A FEW TIMES FOR DOMESTICS AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE ALWAYS THE BAD GUY

[Storm]

I'll echo others -men dont hit women, and if they do, it only happens once.
Whether or not to press the assault charge is up to you, but personally, I would-just my 2 c

[Crasherfromwayback]

WHAT IF SHE WAS A BIG STREET HO AND SHE BOTLLED A COMPLETE STRANGER FOR NO REASON AND THEN HE PUNCHED HER OUT , CAUSE IN THAT CASE SHES REALLY GOT IT COMING TO HER
Mate, if she's that big, like I say....walk away. REAL fast.

[Motoracer]

was it motoracer? it was wasnt it , i knew that guy was dodgy

I've come close to killing a few guys...

Never layed a hand on any females in my life and never intend to, but.

Sorry to hear Kittie. Best of luck to you.

[inlinefour]

So your telling me if Laila Ali comes at me swinging, I'm just supposed to be easily able to block her and walk away?

There will always be exceptions to every rule.

?I used to spar with wimmin at times at training and it tended to be the times I got hurt the most. I don't really give a frack what the situation is, its NEVER OK to hit wimmin IMO. If a shelia came at me and I knew she could fight, same as with males. The first rule of my trainings is to run away if you can. If I get smacked out by a shelia, yea I'll try to block her, but if she is that good, it'll just postpone the inevidible. Fark sake, I have morals...

[Sniper]

Go to the cops, don't listen to your folks. A charge against him can go a long way

[WINJA]

I've come close to killing a few guys...

Never layed a hand on any females in my life and never intend to, but.

Sorry to hear Kittie. Best of luck to you.
WHEN YOU SAY KILLING THEM DOES THAT MEAN YOU GAVE THEM A BEATING TO WITHIN AN INCH OF THEIR LIFE AND HOSPITALIZED THEM , OR THAT YOU CAME CLOSE TO HITTING THEM BUT NEVER DID

[Madness]

Go to the cops, don't listen to your folks. A charge against him can go a long way

At least you'd put it on record if no charges were laid. You do want this dude to get some help, maybe a non-violence course would do him some good, as a diversion maybe???

Non-violence groups can be helpful in terms of making somebody realise their actions/beliefs are innapropriate, regardless of their origins.

[NotaGoth]

Go to the cops, don't listen to your folks. A charge against him can go a long way


Mum and I have talked about whats happened, shes one person who I always count on for good advice. Won't mention the rest of what she has said but I think she's onto something. She's a fairly bright lady.

[inlinefour]

Mum and I have talked about whats happened, shes one person who I always count on for good advice. Won't mention the rest of what she has said but I think she's onto something. She's a fairly bright lady.

if she is anything like mine, she is to be taken seriously. When my mum gets serious, it reminds ,e of the Drill Sargent on Full Metal Jacket. Thank God my mother lives on another continent.:msn-wink:

[Crasherfromwayback]

BUT IF YOU SAW SOMEONE LIKE KITTY GETTING SLAPPED ON THE STREET WOULD YOU HELP, IVE STEPPED IN A FEW TIMES FOR DOMESTICS AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE ALWAYS THE BAD GUY
That's true mate, you always are. I've even been set upon by both of them when trying to help.
But how bad would you feel when the one time you didn't bother due to past experiences, the woman got seriously injured when she really wanted and needed help?

[Motoracer]

WHEN YOU SAY KILLING THEM DOES THAT MEAN YOU GAVE THEM A BEATING TO WITHIN AN INCH OF THEIR LIFE AND HOSPITALIZED THEM , OR THAT YOU CAME CLOSE TO HITTING THEM BUT NEVER DID

The answer to your current question is irrelevant to the given topic. If I ended up talking to you in person at some stage, I wouldn't mind answering that for you, then.

[WINJA]

The answer to your current question is irrelevant to the given topic. If I ended up talking to you in person at some stage, I wouldn't mind answering that for you, then.
SEND ME THE ANSWER IN A PM THEN

[Crasherfromwayback]

SEND ME THE ANSWER IN A PM THEN
Hey guys....I hope that you're mates and not getting all threatning like.
Remember, it's all about this.......C*nt that bashes women.
And sorry, I know this is not where I should post this....but it IS kind of relevant...

[NotaGoth]

Sleeping on it for the night, and giving myself and the person involved time to calm down. All up not a good situation but still not worth punching a girl in the face over. Mum would prefer I don't get him charged with assault but exactly what good would it do? The guy needs help. Time for him to realize that if he ever does. Will know in the morning what exactly it is that I am going to do.

[Crasherfromwayback]

Sleeping on it for the night, and giving myself and the person involved time to calm down. All up not a good situation but still not worth punching a girl in the face over. Mum would prefer I don't get him charged with assault but exactly what good would it do? The guy needs help. Time for him to realize that if he ever does. Will know in the morning what exactly it is that I am going to do.
Find someone that'll treat you properly and not resort to violence when they 'lose it'.
You sound WAY too forgiving, but not stupid.
You'll work it out.

[slowpoke]

Sleeping on it for the night, and giving myself and the person involved time to calm down. All up not a good situation but still not worth punching a girl in the face over. Mum would prefer I don't get him charged with assault but exactly what good would it do? The guy needs help. Time for him to realize that if he ever does. Will know in the morning what exactly it is that I am going to do.
Hey there Kitty, I don't know you, I don't know the situation and I don't the path you've travelled to get there. As I see it you've got a choice to make and that is to either look backwards or look forwards. Make this loser part of your past, NOT part of your future.
He may have been the one to lash out but YOU have the power...use it...walk away with your head held high...do not look back.
As for the cop thing, listen to advice from people you respect, take it onboard, then make your OWN decision.
My best wishes for the future.

[slowpoke]

Removed by Moderator.
Are you scared Waylander? Do you not see the train tracks you're tied to or hear the whistle blowing??!! This is gonna be a frikkin' train wreck!!!
Seriously Kitty, I don't care or even want to know what's going on up there but I stand by what I said: look to the future not the past. If there are tears in the future make them his and not yours.
Good luck.

Now, I'm getting out of here 'cos pretty soon there's gonna be a WHOLE LOT of mess to be cleaned up, eh Waylander.....

[Finn]

Kittie, people seldom change. Forget about him, move on and don't start making excuses for him. At 30 a guy should have his shit together. Don't sell yourself short girl.

Abuse comes in many flavours. I'm currently in an abusive relationship so can sympathise with you. My girlfriend is Swedish and the amount of sexual abuse is getting out of control. Morning, day and night, it just never stops. I've lost 10 kilos in 6 months. My friends are very supportive and have all offered to abuse her back for me but this is my problem. I will deal with it. To top this off, she irons my shirts wrong, over cooks my eggs and forgets to clean the chain oil off my rims. I am strong. I will get through this.

[sAsLEX]

If you don't have the control to refrain from hitting a woman, not matter what level of provacation you have, why are you any different from the cave men that rape?
Both crimes are from weak men that have no control and seek power.


SO some woman is beating you up you just sit there and take it? I dont see how people have such a strong aversion to hitting woman, no I dont go round beating up woman at all and never will, but if put in a situation where a "person" is threatening me or those I am protecting, note person not male or female, I will asses the situation and deal out the appropriate amount of force be it hands, baton or Sig Sauer. The sex of you opponent makes no difference.

Anyone taking advantage of someone weaker is in the wrong no matter their sex.

[Smorg]

This happened tonight. I'm now at home. With my mum. Away from him?

Good make sure you stay that way, like the others have said a man who is of any value doesnt hit women

edit* and i know fred and wilma are from the friggin flintstones

[Crasherfromwayback]

Years ago a girlfriend of mine lost it when she thought I was chatting up another woman at a party (my party no less).
She'd had far too much to drink, stormed from one side of the room over to me and without a word smashed me fair in the chops.
I called a taxi, escorted her from the room, put her in it and never saw or spoke to her again.
Better than bashing her back and real simple.

[Hitcher]

Say if you were female and in a situation where you have an arguement with an ex partner, the arguement gets rather heated. You end up being twak'd one round the face. Would you follow through with an assault charge against the person involved?
Go the Cops. A crime has been committed. Your choice should be whether or not to press charges, rather than whether or not to report it to the Police.

What if he does it again, although more seriously next time? Or what if he does the same thing to another partner or former partner? Evidential records are important. As a society we condone domestic violence to a point where it is a national sport -- if there was an Olympic event, New Zealand's team would win a medal. Enough is enough. Report this crime.

On a similar topic, not reporting other forms of criminals, such as embezzlers or kiddy fiddlers, can see them continue to be placed in situations where their offending can continue.

[The_Dover]

Fuck me there are some neanderthal views on here.

Violence against any person is wrong, whether they have a cock or a gash. If some fucker comes at me, male, female or androgynous, they'll get the same treatment back. I'm not going to be assaulted by any cunt and I don't make a habit out of smashing anyone else over.

If a woman is good enough to run the fucking country, join the army, whatever else, I.E. equal opportunities, which I am all for, then they should expect to be treated equally in ALL situations. Not be patronised with this sexist shit.

Violence is violence, the sex of the perpetrator or victim is irrelevant.

And anyone who thinks otherwise should go check that the missus is in the kitchen where she belongs.

This is irrelevant to Kittie's case as I do not know the details of the altercation, but if the ex was the instigator of violence then they are in the wrong. Whether it was a punch up between a hetero couple or a pair of poofs, throwing the first punch is a lack of self control and that person is in the wrong. Penis or no penis.

[Big Dave]

SO some woman is beating you up you just sit there and take it? I dont see how people have such a strong aversion to hitting woman,

ANY bloke that hits ANY woman is a soft cocked maggot.
And you should know better than to post the above SHIT.

[inlinefour]

Fuck me there are some neanderthal views on here.

Violence against any person is wrong, whether they have a cock or a gash. If some fucker comes at me, male, female or androgynous, they'll get the same treatment back. I'm not going to be assaulted by any cunt and I don't make a habit out of smashing anyone else over.

If a woman is good enough to run the fucking country, join the army, whatever else, I.E. equal opportunities, which I am all for, then they should expect to be treated equally in ALL situations. Not be patronised with this sexist shit.

Violence is violence, the sex of the perpetrator or victim is irrelevant.

And anyone who thinks otherwise should go check that the missus is in the kitchen where she belongs.


We, being males can generally physically cope with being assaulted better than a female. There is a big difference when it comes to the physical nature of alot of shelias (yea there are exceptions both ways). Apart from that, yea I agree with ya but u "And anyone who thinks otherwise should go check that the missus is in the kitchen where she belongs" concept could be a tad closed minded.
As Mr H said, family violence is rampant in NZ also. My teachings tell me that on average, the Abused will return to the abusie 7 times before actually realising that nothing is likely to change. Its not that the abusie is stupid, but rather due to the emotional feelings the abusie has for the abuser. Which I pray does not occur in this instance.

[WRT]

Domestic abuse can never be condoned. Note that if he gets a criminal conviction from this, then it will follow him wherever he goes. Job interviews, insurance applications, visa's for traveling through other countries. Its a good reminder to him that what he has done was wrong.

Someone mentioned this guy is 30. By this age he should have matured enough to know right from wrong. I have never met you Kittie, but your pics show someone of slight build, and I seem to recall you mentioning you were 19. A 30 year old male should never hit a 19 year old slightly built female.

And just to add fuel to the rest of the debate . . . as Hitcher mentioned, NZ is at the forefront for domestic violence. We were also at the forefront of the womens rights movement. Is it a case of women asking to be treated as equals and getting just that? Is it now equally acceptable (in some circles) to hit a woman as it is to hit a man?

I certainly hope not. It seems that chivalry is dying. Out of my social circle, I am one of a very few that still opens the door for my girlfriend, or pulls out her chair. I am lucky that I have found someone that appreciates these little things too, and recognises them. I have been out with women in the past that had no idea why I would always move to walk on the outside of them on the footpath. And perhaps that is why chivalry is dying - its just wasted on too many women.

[hunt]

your obviously not to hurt, otherwise your be in medical care, stay away from the guy, and if he contacts you tell him he punches like a girl,and its all over, your looking for a real man

[The_Dover]

I don't give a fuck about the physical nature.

I'm saying it is wrong to lash out at anyone.

Does this mean that if some little faggot comes and gives me a smack I should walk away cos I'm bigger and stronger, but if a man my size has a go then it's all on and all good cos he can obviously handle himself?

Get with the programme folks, this is the 21st century. Don't hit anyone and they wont hit you back.

The debate between whether it is right or wrong to hit a woman and the issue of domestic violence are completely seperate.

OF course it is wrong to give the missus the bash because she wont cook your eggs, but that is not because she is female, it is because it is abuse, full stop. It is equally as wrong for a woman to feel that it is ok to smack the hubby when she's on the rag. It is still abuse.

No one should have to entertain being beaten up on a regular basis, penis or no penis.

Drop the sexist shit and concentrate on the actual violence.

[sAsLEX]

ANY bloke that hits ANY woman is a soft cocked maggot.
And you should know better than to post the above SHIT.

Stone age view their mate sorry.

Now dont get me wrong I aint going to go and punch some chick , and I agree that guys that hit woman aint right, but then I think woman that hit men belong in the same basket.

You cant have such a broad simple view of things though, the world is far more complex these days.

So what would you do in Unarmed combat training these days? since woman can go to war and fight next to a man...

[Pixie]

Totally agree. "I don't know what happened officer. he just fell over the fence/down the stairs while I was walking past.<_< Pity he broke a limb in the fall.":killingme

Unfortunately that is the only way that some of these barbarians will ever learn.:doh:
"I don't know what happened officer. he just fell over the fence/down the stairs while I was walking past.<_< Pity he broke a limb in the fall."
And when I went to his aid,I slipped and stood on his throat.

[DMNTD]

I don't give a fuck about the physical nature.
I'm saying it is wrong to lash out at anyone.
Does this mean that if some little faggot comes and gives me a smack I should walk away cos I'm bigger and stronger, but if a man my size has a go then it's all on and all good cos he can obviously handle himself?
Get with the programme folks, this is the 21st century. Don't hit anyone and they wont hit you back.
The debate between whether it is right or wrong to hit a woman and the issue of domestic violence are completely seperate.
OF course it is wrong to give the missus the bash because she wont cook your eggs, but that is not because she is female, it is because it is abuse, full stop. It is equally as wrong for a woman to feel that it is ok to smack the hubby when she's on the rag. It is still abuse.
No one should have to entertain being beaten up on a regular basis, penis or no penis.
Drop the sexist shit and concentrate on the actual violence.

This has to be one of the best posts I've seen you write...I agree 100%
Punching a woman up is wrong in everyway IMHO,but in saying that NO person has the rite to take advantage of their lack of size,sex,race etc to abuse others.
I've seen EXTREME abuse of all types,by all types dished out and it is NOT on...EITHER way!




BTW: Kittie...there are good blokes out there m'dear! You don't need a second rate plonker. Cut the dude loose and take control of the important parts...you! :msn-wink:

[Big Dave]

Stone age view their mate sorry.




It's called being a gentleman and having honour.
I have never raised a hand to a woman and I've had some laying into me at the pub etc. Walked away.
I want nothing to do with any man who does.

[spudchucka]

Sleeping on it for the night, and giving myself and the person involved time to calm down. All up not a good situation but still not worth punching a girl in the face over. Mum would prefer I don't get him charged with assault but exactly what good would it do? The guy needs help. Time for him to realize that if he ever does. Will know in the morning what exactly it is that I am going to do.
Its up to you what you do in terms of making a complaint to the police. But what ever you decide to do the most important thing is that you don't get caught up in the cycle of abuse like so many women do. Take it from me, if he's hit you once he will hit you again or he will learn to abuse you in other ways, I've seen too many arsehole woman abusers to ever advise someone to give him a second chance. Cut yourself free of him while you can.

Edit: You can report domestic violence to police without it ending in a prosecution. Just make it quite clear at the time that you aren't interested in prosecuting, (if that is your decision) but you want it recorded. You might want to get a domestic protection order later on if he keeps on being a twat so if its recorded now that will assist you in getting the protection order later on.

[Finn]

If a woman is good enough to run the fucking country...

Two things wrong with that statement Dove. Firstly, she's obviously not good enough to run the country and secondly, calling her a woman is a bit far fetched. She is the antichrist.

[KATWYN]

. She even threatened to tip the bikes over that was pretty much when the restraining order threats had to come in.


:laugh: about 17 Years ago I threatened to do that to my boyfreinds GSXR1100 he said "if you do, i'm gunna make you pick it back up" :eek: - needless to say said bike wasn't pushed over. (temper temper)

[Drunken Monkey]

It's called being a gentleman and having honour.
I have never raised a hand to a woman and I've had some laying into me at the pub etc. Walked away.
I want nothing to do with any man who does.

A gentleman of honour does not raise his hand to a lady. I can see where those guys are coming from, I'll certainly take an open-handed slap from a lady, but fists? No lady would ever use closed fists (or worse, kick for the nuts). You can't always walk away Dave. Unlikely situation, I know, but what if you're cornered by two brutish 300lbs Samoan women hell bent on giving you the slap? There are always going to be exceptions to the rule.

[yungatart]

Report it Kittie, the next time he hits a woman, she may not walk away- the abuse tends to get worse over time, unless he gets help. Look after yourself girl, and there are plenty of really nice blokes out there - much better than this hotheaded tosser!
Take care

[Big Dave]

You can't always walk away Dave. .

Yeah you can.
I'd be far more likely to be partying on with the Samoan chics anyway. You just ask them to sing for you and they are putty.

[Winston001]

Endorse the advice to make a complaint to the Police. The Crimes Act has a specific offence "male assaults female" so the law recognises the physical inequality of the sexes.

For a guy to hit you he either was incredibly outraged - or he's done it before. Maybe not to you but to others. And he'll do it again.

By making a complaint you ensure he doesn't get away with it. The cycle of violence in homes only continues because the victims continually forgive the offender.

[Smorg]

I'd be far more likely to be partying on with the Samoan chics anyway.

You say that now

[Winston001]

Hesitate to post this but there is a study of family violence which found that women contribute more than is popularly recognised. Not that women themselves use physical violence, but rather that they are much more skilled at psychological torment.

Women are good with words. They usually know just the right buttons to press with their partner and it can be done with a look. They don't have physical power so they use much more subtle ways to provoke their partner. If the man loses it there is no way he can adequately explain why.

That in no way excuses men hitting women or children. However it does take two to tango.

[Finn]

Winston is right. My words upset some people here so much that they want to bash me. I think there is even a club with several members that are planning an annual Finn Bash.

[The_Dover]

I find it quite extraordinary that a country which champions womens rights and sexual equality and is governed by a "woman" we still have such a bullshit sexist charge as "male assaults female".

It's almost as bad all that affirmative action shit and the "Black Music Awards", fucking prejudice reversed and it really pisses me off.

[ManDownUnder]

Kittie - I think the answer to your "charge him or not" question is a simple one.

If he needs it - charge him. If he's a violent type that does lash out - then yeah bling him, get the cops onto it, let him know it's been done, and let him know you'll do it again every time it's needed.

If he's done it and feels bad, it's out of character etc then have a word to him, or write to him. Let him know what happened, how it made everyone feel and what you know think of him. Let him know what future consequences will be (i.e. calling the cops) and make sure you are in the position to follow through with your threats.

It's one thing to be a tough guy, it's quite another to be a prick. Sounds like he might have gotten the two confused.

MDU

[NotaGoth]

And be glad I didn't type up the rest of the story as I know it.

The rest of the story as you know it. There you go. That last piece speaks for itself. As YOU know it. Or more like as YOU think you know it.

[NotaGoth]

Someone mentioned this guy is 30.



Someone mentioned the guy is 30 but didn't actually check his facts before he posted.

[Smorg]

Someone mentioned the guy is 30 but didn't actually check his facts before he posted.

Does it really matter how old he is? The deed speaks for itself

[WRT]

Smorgen - Agreed. Kittie - In that case, scratch my mention of ages, however, the sentiment remains the same. He should have been mature enough to realise what he did was wrong.

[buellbabe]

You can report domestic violence to police without it ending in a prosecution. Just make it quite clear at the time that you aren't interested in prosecuting, (if that is your decision) but you want it recorded. You might want to get a domestic protection order later on if he keeps on being a twat so if its recorded now that will assist you in getting the protection order later on.
Very good advice there... I was given the same advice from a cop when my ex's temper got out of control. Holes in the walls and smashed windows I put up with cos he kept saying he would get help... but the day he smacked me in the side of the head (totally non-provoked!!!) and then proceeded to threaten to kill my dogs was the last day he spent in my home.
The cop I spoke to said that the sad thing is that a restraining order can sometimes make things worse and more-or-less suggested I talk to some of my male friends...

[kickingzebra]

There are no winners in Domestic voilence, I saw it as a child, and swore I would never go there and I haven't.

One important point, is if people continuously deal with issues in their own way (in disregard/indifference of the law) Then the polices hands aer further tied, and they become more road revenue machines, and less about policing in the traditional sense.

In the cases I have seen, a visit from the police regarding said violence can be all it takes to wake the guys ideas up.
Whether you stay with him or not, is besides the point, but the act did happen, and a complaint should be filed. people need to know it is serious.

As to staying with him. You alone know his character, and whether he is really going to continue to add to your life, or detract from it. It isn't normal to have to worry about everything you say, in case it sets someone of the deep end.
In a moment of weakness, maybe someone could snap, and do something out of character, but if what has happened is in character with his personality, you need to deal with that appropriately.

A change in him is only going to come by action on his part, he has to initiate any help he needs. If you or the courts initiate it for him, it is as good as worthless.

Also think through how he would be as a father to any children etc. Do you want to be worrying over whether he will snap on them?

I wish you well in walking through this.

[Goblin]

Someone mentioned the guy is 30 but didn't actually check his facts before he posted.
Doesn't matter how old he is, he has no respect for you! But you are still so young and possibly in love with the idiot so you will forgive him and get back with him and it will happen again & again....

Doesn't matter what anyone posts on here, I'd say you've made your mind up and will continue to let him into your life and suffer the consequences. After all this is a great way to get sympathy from a bunch of bikers youve never met. Harsh as it may seem I have no sympathy for women who let men abuse them. The only way is to forget him and get on with your life. If he stalks you, get a protection order & a tresspass order and call the cops EVERYTIME he breachs it. Dont be afraid to use the law for it's intended purpose.
Good luck! You will need it!

[LaggCity]

Go to the police and get some action started, that sends a very clear message to him that he has gone over the line. It will also be an official record of the incident incase there are any court issues later on. You can always drop the prosecution. Do you have any witness to the assault or any proof , such as pictures of the injury or doctors visit to back it up? otherwise it could be too late, it would then become a he said she said :Police:

[NotaGoth]

Thankyou to someone who went ahead and posted things without thinking or actually listening and getting facts straight.

I'm not going back to the guy. YES there is a history and story behind the situation which I'm not going into as it is an extremely difficult situation to explain. I'm giving him time to calm down, then I'll call so we can discuss what happened.

Restraining order was threatened against me after he punched me and I threatened to go to the police station and report the incident. "You do that and I'll do this."

The guys never hit me before. We've argued before but watching him go from a mellow guy discussing things, to extremely agitated and angry, straight back to mellow, and even crying after he'd hit me is something that I haven't seen before. To go from a sweet caring guy, and even continuing to be so after we split, to how he was last night, a sudden change in character out of the blue. When explaining how he was to my old lady shes stuck on one thought and one thought only.

[Goblin]

Go to the police and get some action started, that sends a very clear message to him that he has gone over the line. It will also be an official record of the incident incase there are any court issues later on. You can always drop the prosecution. Do you have any witness to the assault or any proof , such as pictures of the injury or doctors visit to back it up? otherwise it could be too late, it would then become a he said she said :Police:
Yes go to the police and prosecute but dont ffs drop the charges! Im sure police get pissed off with women who lay a complaint then change their minds and get back together with the scumbags. Then the same thing happens a month later....and the cycle of abuse continues! Then women wonder why the police dont want to go to the same address for the same thing time after time. It makes a mockery of the protection order system! If you're going to press charges have the guts to follow through to the end! Sure its hard to stand up in court infront of stuck up lawyers and a judge but its easier than walking on eggshells in your relationship and worrying about getting the bash! Dont give him a second chance!

[Goblin]

I'm giving him time to calm down, then I'll call so we can discuss what happened.

Why? There's nothing to discuss! He hit you and you want to discuss it? I bet he cried after the fact! He's a fuckin psycho! You should get him out of your life and never speak to him again!

[MrMelon]

I blame P.

[Colapop]

...The guys never hit me before. We've argued before but watching him go from a mellow guy discussing things, to extremely agitated and angry, straight back to mellow, and even crying after he'd hit me is something that I haven't seen before. To go from a sweet caring guy, and even continuing to be so after we split, to how he was last night, a sudden change in character out of the blue......
I posted not that long ago about my sister and her ex. (I supported her at the custody case). He beat her up and immediately apologised and became the "sweet guy" again. He also swore black and blue (ironic huh?) that he'd never do any thing to her ever again. Until the next time he did it and put her in hospital - broken nose fractured cheek, ribs etc. If he's done it before he'll do it again until he knows there is no way that someone will put up with that sort of shit - then he'll move on to the next target. These guys want to dominate whether it be physically or mentally. Almost more damaging is the mental abuse. The promises, manuipulation and ultimately, lies leave the victim blaming themself. Once is too many times. No person deserves to believe that they are the cause for the abuse that they suffer.

[buellbabe]

It doesn't matter how sweet or caring he WAS when you were an item, there is no excuse for him smacking ya 1. Obviously there is a connection there and you still care for him as a friend but my advice is cut the ties now, he should not be yr problem anymore...My ex was the same... and nearly 2 yrs later he is still trying to maintain contact with me, basically I ignore all his calls and txts cos the past should remain IN THE PAST.
In the end its yr choice but its a choice you REALLY need to make.

[knuckles]

I've matured... I have learned that you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope that they panic and give in...


bin stalked..most cant hit a moving target...

[NotaGoth]

I've matured... I have learned that you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope that they panic and give in...


bin stalked..most cant hit a moving target...

If you feel the need to take that quote seriously thats fine :laugh:

[marty]

kittie - put yourself in his shoes. in fact, even after some very clear and well constructed advice (even from winja and dover!) that you don't seem to be able or willing to take, i'll do it for you.

i punched this girl. she's hot, does what she's told, and thinks i'm great. but i get a bit grumpy with her, and tonight i punched her in the face. FUCK. she'll go to the cops and i'll get arrested and have to go to court and do anger management and get a fine. SHIT. i better try to talk it out of her. i know, i'll promise not to do it again. i'll promise that i'll walk away next time. she'll be sweet with that - she's already told me that i can come back if i promise that stuff. cool. i should be able to do that. i don't think i'll punch her again. well, i won't if she keeps her mouth shut.


you see kittie. it's not about you. it's all about him. you are kidding yourself if you think that his attitude will change. i have seen it 100's if not 1000's of times. once you have the sunk to the dubious ability to punch a person you supposedly LOVE in the face, there is little of no returning. if you're not going to make a complaint, at least walk away, and don't ever say that you'll take him back if he changes.

[Pussy]

Kittie, I don't know you, or do I know anything of the circumstances of what lead up to this. One thing you will eventually find is that you can't do anything about your yesterdays, but you do have a certain amount of control over your tomorrows. Mull on it for a while, and your conscience will tell you whats right. I don't like guys hitting girls , however, it's the mark of a softcock

[Paul in NZ]

Your profile indicates that you are really quite young. (well everyones young to me these days)

Don't waste anymore energy or time discussing this on the internet. You have been given a wide range of advice and it's now up to you to decide whats best. The important thing is that you do something! No really, you need to actually decide and act.

I tend to agree with Spud. Report the assault at the local Police station but tell them straight out you don't want to prosecute (I think I got that right). Ultimately this is one thing you really need to do! GET IT ON RECORD someplace. Objective evidence wins cases!

My observation on life is this. Decide what sort of life you want right now. The nice guy / violent guy thing is a classic behaviour and it is unlikely to change. I'm amazed you even went out with him. If you want a wild ride in life, seek these people out. You will never be rich or bored!

[madboy]

Kitie, sorry but I haven't time to read the whole thread today, so I'm posting with little more idea than what you've said in your first post. Take my comments with the grain of salt they're worth.

There is no excuse to physically strike someone, but the fact is it happens. People's tempers, particularly when they are young and/or immature and/or have an anger management problem, can often lead them to lash out inappropriately. That split second judgement can have long term consequences. They could cause serious physical and/or emotional harm.

Another long term consequence can be the effect those criminal charges will have for the guilty party. Every time they travel overseas, start a new job or apply for insurance they will have to explain those charges. So shit they did when they were young and dumb and have damn near forgotten about will come back to haunt when they're much older, in a completely different place in life and leading a perfectly normal life.

It might be a bit flippant, but if he smacked you, you end up with a sore face for a few days, you use your brain and get rid of the guy (permanently) and within weeks or months the whole thing is ancient history. But for him, he'll be detained on entry into Brisbane airport 10 years later when he's on holiday with his wife and kids, and have to spend 45 minutes talking to completely unsympathetic Australian customs explaining WTF happened years ago when he couldn't control his temper. He'll have to explain to his prospective employers BEFORE he's even got the job that he's smacked his ex - now imagine what his prospective boss (a female) will think about that, never mind it was 10 years ago. And we haven't even started talking about entry requirements to get a working visa in the UK.

Stuff that didn't matter when you are 20 WILL matter when you're 30 or 40 or 50. And all this was for a shitload less than a smack in the face.

If he's going to be a lifelong loser, one charge won't matter - in fact it really won't so why bother anyway, sad but true. But if he decides to wake up and make something of his life, one charge will hurt for years to come. Most people don't give you the opportunity to explain the full story.

IMO just ditch the guy and move on.

[sAsLEX]

It's called being a gentleman and having honour.
I have never raised a hand to a woman and I've had some laying into me at the pub etc. Walked away.
I want nothing to do with any man who does.

Mate you are a fair bit bigger than me and can take a bit more, which makes it easier for you to take a slap then walk away. You wouldnt met many woman physically imposing to you would you?


but fists? No lady would ever use closed fists (or worse, kick for the nuts). You can't always walk away Dave. Unlikely situation, I know, but what if you're cornered by two brutish 300lbs Samoan women hell bent on giving you the slap? There are always going to be exceptions to the rule.

And if your kids are being threatened by his Samoan friends? Or they are laying in to your Wife? Never say never Dave someone or something will one day push your buttons and make you react, some parts of your brain are beyond logical control and once adrenilan and other hormones pop in to the mix the older instincs of humanity will come to the front. The difference between those like you who would generally never raise a hand and those that do it often is how in control they are!

[mstriumph]

Say if you were female and in a situation where you have an arguement with an ex partner, the arguement gets rather heated. You end up being twak'd one round the face. Would you follow through with an assault charge against the person involved?

i'd LIKE to say that i'd "follow through" with a knee to the groin ..... but seeing how everyone on here says violence isn't acceptable i'd better not say that.......... :confused:

yes, Kit - at least let "officialdom" know it's happened,

even if YOU decide not to proceed with a charge at least it will give him a 'history' on record and make the job easier for the next weaker person he hits [because yes, he WILL do it again if he isn't brought up short one way or another this time]

[Big Dave]

Mate you are a fair bit bigger than me and can take a bit more, which makes it easier for you to take a slap then walk away. You wouldnt met many woman physically imposing to you would you?



And if your kids are being threatened by his Samoan friends? Or they are laying in to your Wife? Never say never Dave someone or something will one day push your buttons and make you react, some parts of your brain are beyond logical control and once adrenilan and other hormones pop in to the mix the older instincs of humanity will come to the front. The difference between those like you who would generally never raise a hand and those that do it often is how in control they are!

What a load of bollocks.
Lets sit around and make up hypotheticals.
Fact is I've never met a woman I found physically imposing.
I've never hit a girl in the course of normal life and I never will.
Only a maggot would. My last words on the subject.

Hope it works out Kitty

[Colapop]

And if your kids are being threatened by his Samoan friends?
So ALL Samoan or Pacific Island people are violent people?? That is a gross generalisation. I've been associated with my wife's family (Samoan) for more than 15 years and seen less violence and racial bigotry in that family than in a 1000 other situations.

There are scum in every race. I can garuntee that there are more assault cases involving European people than there are Samoan or Pacific Islanders. It's the same reason why all these pussies aren't taking their kids to rugby coz "I don't want my kid to get beaten up by a coconut" Treat people like shit no matter what race they are and see how many positive reactions you get.

[NotaGoth]

My intent on posting this thread was to get a range of advice from different people, rather than just talking to one person and going by one opinion.

I did recieve an apology today, and no I haven't gone running. So that tells you that some advice has sunken in though it may not look like it.

I do still believe how ever that people do change but that takes them admitting that they have a problem and doing something about it, its a long road ahead, but if they can't admit it nothing will ever change. I know this because I've personally worked through problems of my own and changed, and feel better for it. I know others can too.

Cheers for the good advice and input its been needed.

[NotaGoth]

i'd LIKE to say that i'd "follow through" with a knee to the groin ..... but seeing how everyone on here says violence isn't acceptable i'd better not say that.......... :confused:



Have to be careful doing that. If you don't do the job properly you could end up worse off. :no:

[KATWYN]

I agree with Goblin

[Smorg]

...............................

[The_Dover]

Does all of this advice apply to men that have been abused by women?

[KATWYN]

I do still believe how ever that people do change but that takes them admitting that they have a problem and doing something about it, its a long road ahead, but if they can't admit it nothing will ever change. .

True - but don't hold ya breath. Its a rare person that changes for good.
People may change for a time....but it all gradually starts resurfacing again.

[Goblin]

Does all of this advice apply to men that have been abused by women?
Yes! Absolutely!

[sAsLEX]

So ALL Samoan or Pacific Island people are violent people??

was referring to the quote in my post from Drunken Monkey, no racial insult meant.

[Winston001]

Couple of points:

Merely complaining to the Police but not wanting a prosecution is of limited effect. The "history" of the report can't ever be admitted as evidence in a future assault case.

Making a proper complaint still allows for a Formal Warning, Diversion, or even a Discharge Without Conviction.

Just remember - the next girl needs protection just as much as you do.

[Goblin]

Just remember - the next girl needs protection just as much as you do.
I think these girls need protection from themselves. They will keep putting themselves in these situations and wonder why the scumbags never change for long. If a guy does it once, dont give him a second chance! Get out & stay out! They always make excuses like "but he's so sweet and mellow when he's not angry" "He only did it once, then cried cos he was so sorry" It's a crock of shit!

[marty]

Making a proper complaint still allows for a Formal Warning, Diversion, or even a Discharge Without Conviction.



none of which will happen for a MAF.

and good luck kittie. you're going to need it. sounds like you are officially in a domestic violence relationship.

now, next time you have an argument or disagreement, he's won before you start, as you will always know his potential for violence, and you won't want to escalate to that stage again.

my 2c.

[Drunken Monkey]

...Fact is I've never met a woman I found physically imposing. ...

Not all of us are 6' tall and 100Kgs like you, B.D.

[Big Dave]

Not all of us are 6' tall and 100Kgs like you, B.D.

Who said I was a half back?
6'7" in my bike boots, 113kg and yes - that's probably why I feel strongly about it.

[sAsLEX]

Who said I was a half back?
6'7" in my bike boots, 113kg and yes - that's probably why I feel strongly about it.

Kind of like Nic Cag in Con Air, charged harshly due to his experience and ability as a ex soldier, where as your just huge....

[Blairos]

Sorry to hear what happened Kittie... 2 points I wish to make...

1. Leopards never change their spots

2. Guys who hit girls, no matter what the circumstances, need to be shot with a ball of their own shit...

You will do what your heart tells you to do, regardless of the outcome...

[Colapop]

Who said I was a half back?
6'7" in my bike boots, 113kg and yes - that's probably why I feel strongly about it.
Don't get too close to him - he's a DANGEROUS man!!

Stop being so intimidatory BD - you're scaring me...:bleh:

[Drunken Monkey]

Who said I was a half back?
6'7" in my bike boots, 113kg and yes - that's probably why I feel strongly about it.

Indeed. You might not feel the same if you were a skinny little thing like White Trash ;)

Hypotheticals winding you up? Real life example - There is a woman in my Martial Arts class on Monday nights. Wouldn't get very far as a sparring opponent if I didn't hit back, would I?

[Drunken Monkey]

2. Guys who hit girls, no matter what the circumstances, need to be shot with a ball of their own shit...

See above...

[Big Dave]

Indeed. You might not feel the same if you were a skinny little thing like White Trash ;)

Hypotheticals winding you up? Real life example - There is a woman in my Martial Arts class on Monday nights. Wouldn't get very far as a sparring opponent if I didn't hit back, would I?


No - nothing like wound up - i'll log off well before that happens- just stating my priciples.

I used to spar with Willy Mason and his big brother most Monday nights. Much more rewarding than hitting girls.

[Finn]

I used to spa with Willy Mason and his big brother most Monday nights. Much more rewarding than hitting girls.

Did you have the bubbles on or off?

[Big Dave]

Did you have the bubbles on or off?

Next time The Bulldogs play the Warriors come down to ericson, i'll introduce you - and you can ask him.:bleh:

[Smorg]

I thought your last comment was ages ago

[WINJA]

Hey guys....I hope that you're mates and not getting all threatning like.
Remember, it's all about this.......C*nt that bashes women.
And sorry, I know this is not where I should post this....but it IS kind of relevant...
WE'RE NOT MATES , BUT WE'RE NOT ENEMYS EITHER
AND THERES DEFINATELY NO THREATENING

[Big Dave]

I thought your last comment was ages ago


I meant on the hypothetical situation subject.

[Colapop]

I feel threatened every time WINJA!!!

[Edbear]

Well, I've read through this entire thread before putting my 2c. I was hoping Kittie, that you would elaborate a bit and thanks for doing so. I have persoanl experience in all three sides of these types of issues, most serious was my daughter's first husband whom I refer to as the "Baby Faced Killer". One thing you said rings alarm bells for me and that is how you were puzzled at the apparent change in his behaviour, that he could go from being this sweet guy to losing his temper. My daughter's ex was a sweet, funny, gentle - seeming young man with an off-beat sense of humour that appealed. We were naive and failed to note the subtle warning signs. He was a secret alcoholic and into drugs, this latter sounds like your ex. HAs he been doing drugs? This certainly effects change. The situation as you describe it mirrors that of my daughter and we didn't know how serious it was until the day I came home to find my daughter hiding in my wardrobe begging us not to let him find her. That does something to a father, I can assure you. He also cried and promised never to do it again, which he always did. He attended an anger management program as ordered but I never let my daughter go back to him saying I wanted to see him change before I would ever consider it. What amazed me at the time was that not only had she gone back to him several times, but that she would have done so again, and even more amazing was the fact that my wife would have allowed her to. Men such as this have already conditioned their partners to believe that it was their fault for causing them to lose their temper. Perhaps you feel in at least some way responsible for the violence? To cut a long story short, there is much to learn about why and how domestic violence occurs. Guys, please don't criticise Kitty harshly if she says she'd give him another chance, I know what I'm talking about here. Kitty, there is no excuse for what you suffered and if he's done it he'll do it again. PLease think carefully about your history with him and look for telltale signs in hindsight. I agree with Spud and it was good to get his perspective, but I do believe from what you've said that he isn't going to change without being forced to face up to his actions. It takes a special kind of mean to hit a woman, I simply couldn't do it. My daughter's ex was also cruel to anilmals, a strong telltale sign. I'm not as big as BD but my wife stopped attacking me very early on as she hurt her hand when she hit me. Very few men are so weak that they can't either walk away or just hold the woman until she calms down. Yes, women do seem to know just the right buttons to push to make us angry, but as I said, it takes something else to hit her. My son has the scars from a frying pan courtesy of his wife, but even though he's built like a mini 'Arnold' he could never retaliate despite what I would call extreme provocation. I'm proud of him and I'm proud of my daughter, who is now remarried to a strong, gentle young man. It took her years to learn to trust again.

[WINJA]

Who said I was a half back?
6'7" in my bike boots, 113kg and yes - that's probably why I feel strongly about it.
I GOT A COUSIN KNICKNAMED "THE BUTCHER" WHOS NOT QUITE AS TALL AS YOU BUT FAR FAR HEAVIER , THIS MIGHT NOT SOUND LIKE A BIG DEAL BUT SHE IS A GIRL, DONT LOOK LIKE ONE THO

[Colapop]

I got a niece who's 15. She's 6'5" and 115kg!

[babyB]

totally agrees with Goblin =Yes go to the police and prosecute but dont ffs drop the charges! ......

xKittiex many years ago (in a worse situation) i put an ex in jail, what i didnt bank on was when he got out, he hunted me down. all ill say is in times of need the police, womans refuge and such were absolutely premo in time of need (i thank them) ...dont be afraid

as Goblin said=If you're going to press charges have the guts to follow through to the end!

couse some people just never change

[vixter]

you should of hit him back next time get a steelrod handy leave ya mark behind.

[Scorpygirl]

I got a niece who's 15. She's 6'5" and 115kg!

Colapop, can I borrow her as bodyguard. :blip: (P/T) I am only 4ft 11 and weigh 53 kg!!!

[Rossi Gal]

I am one of a very few that still opens the door for my girlfriend, or pulls out her chair. I am lucky that I have found someone that appreciates these little things too, and recognises them. I have been out with women in the past that had no idea why I would always move to walk on the outside of them on the footpath. .


this is awesome to hear that there are still guys like you out there..iv only ever gone out with one guy like this, and its nice to see that people like this are still there somewhere..
this is the sort of guy you want lol.
and i would at least file a report even if you dont press charges. it is worth it. like what was said earlier..it will follow him and remind him what a d%$k he was. hope all goes well with you..

[Big Dave]

and weigh 53 kg!!!


I've lost more than that lately.

[cowpoos]

He attended an anger management program as ordered

I'm sorry but those anger management corses are a crock of shit...I was ordered to do one years ago [and for the record it wasn't to do with hit a gal or nuthing...I actually got mugged by two maori guys and beat the shit otta one of them and got chaged with assult by the cops]...it was bullshit...there were dodgy guys in there who were just making a joke of the whole thing...and it was so pretentious...a total crock!!!! they mean shit all of anything!!

[Albino]

This post is probably going to spell the end of my short career posting on KB. But, firstly let me categorically state that I do not approve of guys hitting girls.

I read an interesting but controversial article by some psych guy that went along he lines of; genetically guys are conditioned to use physical methods to resolve situations. Women are conditioned to use mental means.

It is posible to use "mental violence" , but this is not illegal. To put it another way, it is possible for a women to use mental tactics to infuriate, frustrate and annoy a guy and to a point that he has no means capable to defend hmself but to either run away or to resort to his primitive method of retaliation. (See amagdyla hijack - where the brain bypasses reasoned thought and jumps straight into fight mode).

I personally have had to physically run away from an ex because she was seriously messing with my head. I wasn't going to hit her, but to be honest I could see how some people could.

I'm sure this isn't the case here, and again, no excuse, but I feel I can't condemn this guy without knowing the full story. I bet he is feeling like complete shit at the moment.

Having said all that, regardless of the situation don't go back, it wil not work between you. If it happens again then I have no sympathy (not quite true, but you know what I mean).

In anticipation of the responses, it was nice knowing you for the short time that I have. Yes, even you CFWB.

Take care,
Albino.

[slowpoke]

Who said I was a half back?
6'7" in my bike boots, 113kg and yes - that's probably why I feel strongly about it.
Hence the Buell, no-one else makes two wheeled tractors......oh oh, I think I've got somewhere else to be....(patter of rapidly receding footsteps)

[Crasherfromwayback]

Albino....that's quite funny.
I've no reason to lay into you about that.
It's a fair and reasonable reply to the topic, why would I?

[slowpoke]

Indeed. You might not feel the same if you were a skinny little thing like White Trash ;)

Hypotheticals winding you up? Real life example - There is a woman in my Martial Arts class on Monday nights. Wouldn't get very far as a sparring opponent if I didn't hit back, would I?
White Trash...skinny lil' thang...that's handy to know..........

[cowpoos]

Hence the Buell, no-one else makes two wheeled tractors......oh oh, I think I've got somewhere else to be....(patter of rapidly receding footsteps)
I'm sorri....but have you heard of motoguzzi tractors? dangrous owns one....lol

[SwanTiger]

Firstly,

I am genuinely sorry to hear about your situation Kittie. If you want my opinion, there is no reason to be involved in a relationship where at points one of you will resort to violence. Move on.

On the debate of a male hitting a woman:

After boxing for several years and sparring with females, I am of the opinion that a woman who invokes violence entitles the male to defend himself as he sees fit. Some woman can handle themselves and given the opportunity can cause severe injuries.

If in a heated argument a woman responds violently then the situation, in my opinion, is different and the male is subject to his own morals. In which case I would expect the male to remove themselve from the situation hopefully defusing the heated argument.

Common sense really.

It probably wont be long before our Babysitter Government acts against the amount of Domestic Violence. In which case, they'll pay a bunch of delinquint fucktards to police a policy drafted by related fucktards which makes no repeal on the matter let alone sense.

Fucken cunts.

[Big Dave]

Hence the Buell, no-one else makes two wheeled tractors......oh oh, I think I've got somewhere else to be....(patter of rapidly receding footsteps)


No - Quite right - I call it 'the Tractor'. KTM 990 is another.

[cowpoos]

White Trash...skinny lil' thang...that's handy to know..........

................thats trashy......priddy lil skinny white thing eh!!!

[Crasherfromwayback]

................thats trashy......priddy lil skinny white thing eh!!!
Impressive....he didn't have tits like that when he worked with me at WMCC.
If he had, I would've gone out with him when he asked me!

[NotaGoth]

................thats trashy......priddy lil skinny white thing eh!!!


hahahhaha i love that pic.. lol

[Crasherfromwayback]

I GOT A COUSIN KNICKNAMED "THE BUTCHER" WHOS NOT QUITE AS TALL AS YOU BUT FAR FAR HEAVIER , THIS MIGHT NOT SOUND LIKE A BIG DEAL BUT SHE IS A GIRL, DONT LOOK LIKE ONE THO
As long as she's REAL hairy...can you PM me her phone number?

[slowpoke]

I'm sorri....but have you heard of motoguzzi tractors? dangrous owns one....lol
Is that why he's called "dangerous"?

[cowpoos]

Impressive....he didn't have tits like that when he worked with me at WMCC.
If he had, I would've gone out with him when he asked me!
thats what happens when ya move to auckland...pifft they all pussies up there....

[slowpoke]

................thats trashy......priddy lil skinny white thing eh!!!
HOOOEEE, he's a cutie ain't he...personally I like the ones with tits on their back...it's better when you are slow dancing.......

[cowpoos]

As long as she's REAL hairy...can you PM me her phone number?
numbers..... 0800chickswithdicks

[Crasherfromwayback]

numbers..... 0800chickswithdicks
Nah mate...tried that and WT answered.

[buellbabe]

...I did recieve an apology today, and no I haven't gone running. So that tells you that some advice has sunken in though it may not look like it.

I do still believe how ever that people do change but that takes them admitting that they have a problem and doing something about it, its a long road ahead, but if they can't admit it nothing will ever change...

Well getting back to the original thread...
I was in a relationship with a guy that was a Jekyll/Hyde. Heard all that "I'm so sorry" shit many times and so I continued to make excuses for the A-hole for another 2 miserable years... finally the threat to kill my dogs and torch the house made me crack and kick him to the kerb. Maybe I am abit biased on this topic but saying sorry and doing something about it are 2 very different things. That sort of apology ain't worth SHIT!

[Riff Raff]

I go to a lot of domestic violence incidents in my job, and in every instance it's not the first time the man has hit the woman. I went to one recently where the woman was badly beaten, and found by her 6 year old daughter. This woman had 3 restraining orders against the man, and yet she invited him back yet again. She had no sympathy from her parents or the police, and there's a possibility she could end up in a wheelchair from the attack.
I've had women who have managed to get away from their violent men, be in woman's refuge, and still go and meet the man the next day, only to end up getting the bash again.

IF they hit you once, they will do it again. And if you take them back thinking they will change, you have given him a licence to do it again.

Men who bash women, are attracted to weaker women - ones they can control to make them feel like a big man. If you are in a situation with a man like this, the only way things are going to change is if you change yourself. Get away, take a good look at yourself, change your own attitude and the vibes you give off, and become strong. You'll be amazed at the different sort of people who want to be around you.

I know all this from bitter experience. Once I sorted out my own problems and got our of the 'poor me' syndrome, my life got better and better. I have some wonderful people around me now and can't remember a time when I've ever been so happy.

[ManDownUnder]

Maybe I am abit biased on this topic but saying sorry and doing something about it are 2 very different things. That sort of apology ain't worth SHIT!

Agreed - been there. An ex g/f wound me up so much one night, I saw red and lashed out, right hand slap to her face... not hard - I realised what was happening and started to pull it... too late.

It took me 200% by surprise, I was so profoundly shocked by it I just stopped stared and didn't bother apologising. I had an anger problem I didn't know the scale of till that moment. I didn't bother apologising, as BB said it wouldn't be worth shit. I knew it then - I know it now.

Domestic violence is a sign something's seriously wrong with the violent person and if they can't sort it out they need to have someone come and forceably sort them out. I'm glad things turned out good for me. I did walk away, I did stop and think and I did do something about it... I grew up.

That incident is one of the real lowlights of my life and it's something I'm still very ashamed of but if it helps shed any light on what's going on you're welcome to it.
MDU

[spudchucka]

I find it quite extraordinary that a country which champions womens rights and sexual equality and is governed by a "woman" we still have such a bullshit sexist charge as "male assaults female".

It's almost as bad all that affirmative action shit and the "Black Music Awards", fucking prejudice reversed and it really pisses me off.
Should we do away with "Assault on a child" too?

Its simply an specific charge to be used when there are aggravating circumstances to the point that a common assault charge wouldn't be appropriate. A male that pushed or shoved a female would be liable for common assault. A male that punches a female in the head would be liable for MAF.

The fact that there is a specific MAF offence recognises that women are more vulnerable to assaults by men and are less capable of defending themselves, (generally), which are aggravating factors to the what might be simply common assault if it were male vs male.

[ManDownUnder]

Should we do away with "Assault on a child" too?

Its simply an specific charge to be used when there are aggravating circumstances to the point that a common assault charge wouldn't be appropriate. A male that pushed or shoved a female would be liable for common assault. A male that punches a female in the head would be liable for MAF.

Is there an equivalent Female Assaults Male? (just a q - I really don't know)

[The_Dover]

Should we do away with "Assault on a child" too?

Its simply an specific charge to be used when there are aggravating circumstances to the point that a common assault charge wouldn't be appropriate. A male that pushed or shoved a female would be liable for common assault. A male that punches a female in the head would be liable for MAF.

The fact that there is a specific MAF offence recognises that women are more vulnerable to assaults by men and are less capable of defending themselves, (generally), which are aggravating factors to the what might be simply common assault if it were male vs male.

There is a difference in the legal rights of a minor and an adult. There should be no difference in legal rights between a man and a woman.

I think the argument that women are more vulnerable to assaults by men is bullshit. Men just would not generally report being assaulted by a female.

Equality is either all or nothing I'm afraid and if you want special treatment then you are fooling yourself, whether you are man, woman, black, white, maori or from the wairarapa.

What is the technical difference between MAF and common assault then? Other than the penis/no penis issue?

[buellbabe]

Dover you are just splitting hairs... so bloody what ? Assault is assault and the facts are that more women are victims of assault than men. There is NOTHING stopping a male from reporting an assault by a female, egos don't come into it.

[spudchucka]

Is there an equivalent Female Assaults Male? (just a q - I really don't know)
Nope. It would be common assault or if a serious assault it would fall into the aggravated assault categories, Assault with Intent to Injure etc.

[ManDownUnder]

Nope. It would be common assault or if a serious assault it would fall into the aggravated assault categories, Assault with Intent to Injure etc.

Ta..

BB - I think the point Dover is making is that there is a law on the books specifying Male Assault Female, which in turn will carry a statutory sentencing requirement etc. It is a discreet statute, in addition to the Common Assault (implying or stating that it's not common, or "special" in some manner)

Dover - it's an historical artifact (and yeah - I agree with you - why have it??). The same hoary old chestnut as so many other historical gender imbalances.

[ManDownUnder]

egos don't come into it.

Unfortunately they do, in a manner of speaking. I don't think it's egos per se, more like "feelings" (be it pride on the case of a guy, or love in the case of a woman).

How many assaults, rapes etc go unreported because they feel ashamed of being a victim - male or female...

It's wrong for sure, but it happens.

[The_Dover]

Dover you are just splitting hairs... so bloody what ? Assault is assault and the facts are that more women are victims of assault than men. There is NOTHING stopping a male from reporting an assault by a female, egos don't come into it.

I am not splitting hairs. I am highlighting that there is an inequality that disadvantages males, just for being male.

You said it yourself. Assault is assault.

[cowpoos]

Equality is either all or nothing I'm afraid and if you want special treatment then you are fooling yourself, whether you are man, woman, black, white, maori or from the wairarapa.


what you trying to say MOFO

[buellbabe]

BB - I think the point Dover is making is that there is a law on the books specifying Male Assault Female, which in turn will carry a statutory sentencing requirement etc. It is a discreet statute, in addition to the Common Assault (implying or stating that it's not common, or "special" in some manner)
.

OK yeah I see what you and Dover saying... I just get a tad hot under the collar on this subject cos I've been there. You both make a valid point.


How many assaults, rapes etc go unreported because they feel ashamed of being a victim - male or female...

It's wrong for sure, but it happens.

I agree its more a state of mind and in my case I was ashamed to tell my friends and family letalone the cops. I couldn't believe that I'd become a victim. I made so many excuses cos for quite awhile the violence was only directed at my property but when he finally crossed the line and punched me, threatened my dogs etc.. i didn't hesitate to end it. I finally talked to a cop AFTER he had already left.

[spudchucka]

There is a difference in the legal rights of a minor and an adult. There should be no difference in legal rights between a man and a woman.

I think the argument that women are more vulnerable to assaults by men is bullshit. Men just would not generally report being assaulted by a female.

Equality is either all or nothing I'm afraid and if you want special treatment then you are fooling yourself, whether you are man, woman, black, white, maori or from the wairarapa.

What is the technical difference between MAF and common assault then? Other than the penis/no penis issue?
I'm not going to get into an arguement over the rights or wrongs of having a MAF offence in the crimes act. Its there and get used when appropriate.

There are two statutes that make common assault an offence, the Summary Offences Act 1981 and the Crimes Act 1961.

SOF assault could be as minor as a bit of pushing or shoving but could also include punching. Generally injuries haven't occurred or are very minor.

Crimes Act assault is appropriate when the assault is more vicious and injuries result. A punch to the face that breaks the victims tooth for instance.

Then you get into assaults where there are aggravating factors;
Assaulting a child & Male Assaults female are both covered under section 194 of the crimes act. Sections 188 - 204 are the other relevant sections if you want to have a read.

To me MAF is the appropriate charge whenever the assault is beyond SOF assault in terms of severity and the circumstances of the assault amount to doemstic violence in accordance with the definitions within the Domestic Violence Act 1995.

Domestic violence isn't the only environment where MAF would be appropriate but it is the obvious application.

[ManDownUnder]

I'm not going to get into an arguement over the rights or wrongs of having a MAF offence in the crimes act. Its there and get used when appropriate.

Is there is a difference in severity of punishment for MAF vs Common Assault?

Take two situations with the same outcome person 1 smacks person 2 and causes some damage - let's say they knock out 6 teeth - and it's serious enough to come under the Crimes Act.

If person 1 is male and person 2 is female (MAF) - what's the max penalty?

And likewise what if person 1 is female, and p2 is male (Common Assalt)?

I don't want to make a biggie of this, but I do have a personal interest in gender roles in society... and this is obviously an area where they get highlighted

[spudchucka]

Is there is a difference in severity of punishment for MAF vs Common Assault?

Take two situations with the same outcome person 1 smacks person 2 and causes some damage - let's say they knock out 6 teeth - and it's serious enough to come under the Crimes Act.

If person 1 is male and person 2 is female (MAF) - what's the max penalty?

And likewise what if person 1 is female, and p2 is male (Common Assalt)?

I don't want to make a biggie of this, but I do have a personal interest in gender roles in society... and this is obviously an area where they get highlighted
SOF assault = 6 months imprisonment or $4000 fine.
Crimes Act common assault = 1 year imprisonment.
MAF or assaulting a child = 2 years imprisonment.

These are the maximum penalties under the legislation but you have to remember that under the sentencing act judges have a lot of option available to them. The reality is you wont get 2 years for MAF unless you have a fairly lengthy history of bashing women.

The fact that there is a specific offence (MAF) and that the penalties are higher recognises that NZ has a historical problem with domestic violence and that there are aggravating factors of a male assaulting a female that make the offence more serious than common assault.

[Hitcher]

SOF? Soldier of Fortune?

[Squeak the Rat]

Completely agree with the "leave him now" advice, but can't help but wonder if the views here are a little biased. There are a lot of people offering their opinion based on their [considerable] experience - but these seem to be representative of emergency workers and past sufferers of abuse who's dealings with offenders is probably leaning towards the more serious side of the spectrum.

There are instances of such events where, though not justifiable, the actions can be understood, and even forgiven. The previous poster who had the guts to put his side of the story up for example - the fact that he told this to help others understand the situation shows to me that he's not a scumbag who deserves a criminal record, but some one who let his emotions get the better of him, did something wrong and then did something about it.

Of course there are others who do need "sorting out", but each situation has it's own variables, circumstances and degrees. I don't know enough of this backgound of case to offer advice on whether to charge the guy - but again, I agree it's better to move on at the very least.

As for the MAF laws, if it only applies to serious reoffenders why does it still have to be gender specific?
STR.

[spudchucka]

SOF? Soldier of Fortune?
"Silly old fart"?

[spudchucka]

As for the MAF laws, if it only applies to serious reoffenders why does it still have to be gender specific?
Simply to recognise that it is a higher level of assault than common assault.

[The_Dover]

Simply to recognise that it is a higher level of assault than common assault.

Why is it a higher level of assault? Because of the gender of the perpetrator and the victim?

Bullshit.

[Ixion]

I remember a few years back, there was a local problem with several young females going round bashing up elderly men , sometimes robbbing them sometimes not. These were BIG females, maybe 18, 19, best part of 6 foot.

They'd pick on some old guy (I'm meaning 70, 80 maybe) doing his shopping or whatever, then follow him or lure him to a quiet place (mostly by asking for help "Hey, Mister can you help us please".) Then give him the bash

They got away with it for a long time. Most of the time the old boys, even if quite healthy and fit , were unwilling to fight back aginst females. And the few that reported it to the cops , the cops pretty much told them to piss off.

Only got caught when they went too far , and seriously injured a guy, to the point he nearly died. Cops had to take some notice then, and the previous stuff came out.

Reckon we oughta have a "Young person assaults old person" offence?

The statistic that more women get assaulted than men is cobblers. Most assaults on females get reported - as instanced in this thread. Only a tiny fraction of assaults on males are reported, because most guys realise that reporting will just get them laughed at. You try going to the cop shop and reporting that you've been given the bash by a chick. They'll laugh you out the door.

Not condoning assault by anyone on anyone (except maybe bikers assaulting bloody U turning taxi drivers - but I'd class that as pest extermination). Just pointing out.

[ManDownUnder]

Why is it a higher level of assault? Because of the gender of the perpetrator and the victim?

I don't think it is - no. But being a more prevalent crime the govt needs to be seen doing something about it... and making the "deterrent" larger should appease the masses.

That being said - I know where you're coming from, and I agree with you 100%. It is BS... but it's politics.

The max penalty available is one thing, but what counts (in my mind) is what actually gets passed down as a sentence for the various crimes. If the judiciary has a similar bias (i.e. they punish one type of crime more heavily than the other, based purely on the gender of those involved) then I have more of an issue with it.

[Hitcher]

"Silly old fart"?
You cannot be serious?

[ManDownUnder]

You cannot be serious?

Yes he can - he's done it 3 times now...!

[sAsLEX]

The fact that there is a specific offence (MAF) and that the penalties are higher recognises that NZ has a historical problem with domestic violence and that there are aggravating factors of a male assaulting a female that make the offence more serious than common assault.

As has been said before females use different tactics in warfare due to their general lack of physical presence, can they be charged with using that weapon? Sometimes it aint one sided, I mean poke a dog with a stick enough and you will get bit.



Oh and MDU they have finally made it fair in the Stat Rape thing with females being able to be charged with that now, so maybe the law is evolving slowly.

[Riff Raff]

Gotta agree that in this day and age it's not right that assualts on females are more likely to get results than those on males. I've attended to males who have nasty injuries inflicted on them by women.

In one case a couple with a long history of domestics had another argument - he pushed her, so she smashed a bottle over his head. The police wouldn't let him lay charges against her, because they felt they were both to blame. But I wonder if it had been him to smash the bottle over her head, would he have been charged?

I go to far more women who have been injured in domestic violence than I do men, but I think there is an increase in male injuries.

Society is becoming more violent, and believe me there are a lot of nasty women out there with the size and physical stamina to do some serious damage.

[ManDownUnder]

Oh and MDU they have finally made it fair in the Stat Rape thing with females being able to be charged with that now, so maybe the law is evolving slowly.

Yeah I know - fascinating how slow though eh? This MAF vs common assault discussion kinda highlights it yet again
MDU

[NotaGoth]

Maybe I am abit biased on this topic but saying sorry and doing something about it are 2 very different things. That sort of apology ain't worth SHIT!

No the apology that he gave me isn't worth shit, I do realize that.

[Winston001]

I think the Male Assaults Female provision in the Crimes Act dates from the 19th century. It arose as part of the social awareness which developed from writers such as Charles Dickens. Children used to go down mines, crawl up chimneys etc.

This became unacceptable and along with early laws to protect children, laws to protect women also evolved.

I'm not convinced MAF is inappropriate. The womens lib thing is about equal opportunity and rights. It doesn't say women have the same physical capabilities as men. The fact is that in a male/female assault, the vast majority of cases the guy does the bashing. Men are bigger than women.

The simple assault charge still applies if the assault isn't serious.

As to the assault we are discussing - can understand a guy pushing a women or hitting her on the arm out of sheer frustration. But a punch in the face? No way.

[NotaGoth]

Completely agree with the "leave him now" advice, but can't help but wonder if the views here are a little biased. There are a lot of people offering their opinion based on their [considerable] experience - but these seem to be representative of emergency workers and past sufferers of abuse who's dealings with offenders is probably leaning towards the more serious side of the spectrum.

There are instances of such events where, though not justifiable, the actions can be understood, and even forgiven. The previous poster who had the guts to put his side of the story up for example - the fact that he told this to help others understand the situation shows to me that he's not a scumbag who deserves a criminal record, but some one who let his emotions get the better of him, did something wrong and then did something about it.

Of course there are others who do need "sorting out", but each situation has it's own variables, circumstances and degrees. I don't know enough of this backgound of case to offer advice on whether to charge the guy - but again, I agree it's better to move on at the very least.

As for the MAF laws, if it only applies to serious reoffenders why does it still have to be gender specific?
STR.

And people missed the part where those posts where deleted by a mod due to the fact they were not correct. Someone should have thought before he posted.

[Streetwise]

post his cell number as Im sure he would love me to give him a call, we could do a ten thousand strong text bomb.

[Colapop]

I'm not going to lecture you or debate the issue. I won't even send you another PM (you probably been sent a million).

All I'll say is - I support you.

[scumdog]

Go to the cops, don't listen to your folks. A charge against him can go a long way

I agree, even if at the end of the day no action gets taken there will at least be a 'record' of this event so that he can't say "sorry officer, it's never happened before".

[NotaGoth]

As someone previously posted about how you hardly see a guy who will open the door for a girl, or pull out a chair for her.
Well he "was" the type of guy who would do that. Along with other small things that showed he cared like walking on the outter edge of the footpath. The small things. The things most guys don't think about.
Yes there is a long history behind it all. And I don't need someone who doesn't know everything coming in here and posting what he thinks he knows.
The relationship was ended before this happened. The guy dug himself an extremely deep hole, and I can't say I'm completely innocent when it comes to the mess that was created which is why I can understand his frustration. And I can understand why he lashed out.
All in all that is no excuse. If he wants to blame everyone but himself that is fine.
But punching me ISN'T and never will be fine. "If" we stay in contact as friends which we are now trying to do it will take an extremely long time for me to forgive him for doing that. Thats if I ever will. Theres no excuses.
If you want to punch someone the least you can do is punch someone who can actually defend themselves.
Yes I've seen some chicks lay into guys and do some serious damage. In fqct my sister laid into her ex partner and did ALOT of damage. Had bottles smashed round her head, and I can tell you even I wouldn't attempt holding the girl back. But not all females are bullet proof. Same thing applies to the fact that not all guys are bullet proof either. Female assaults male. Male assaults female. Its all the same.

[Str8 Jacket]

If he hit you, then you should have nothing more to do with the guy. Period.

[Macktheknife]

SO some woman is beating you up you just sit there and take it? I dont see how people have such a strong aversion to hitting woman, no I dont go round beating up woman at all and never will, but if put in a situation where a "person" is threatening me or those I am protecting, note person not male or female, I will asses the situation and deal out the appropriate amount of force be it hands, baton or Sig Sauer. The sex of you opponent makes no difference.

Anyone taking advantage of someone weaker is in the wrong no matter their sex.
Finally a balanced POV, bling awarded.

[Squeak the Rat]

And people missed the part where those posts where deleted by a mod due to the fact they were not correct. Someone should have thought before he posted.
My apologies Kitti, that was slightly mis-worded. I was refering to the post earlier today by another kb'er (which is still up) about that persons experience. I believe this post showed great courage given the emotions involved in a subject like this.

My post was and is intended to add a balance to some of the opinions, because as I said I don't know the full story. Please don't mistake that for lack of concern about you. However by being able to disuss this like you have then I think you're showing that you will make the right choice here.

[NotaGoth]

My apologies Kitti, that was slightly mis-worded. I was refering to the post earlier today by another kb'er (which is still up) about that persons experience. I believe this post showed great courage given the emotions involved in a subject like this.

My post was and is intended to add a balance to some of the opinions, because as I said I don't know the full story. Please don't mistake that for lack of concern about you. However by being able to disuss this like you have then I think you're showing that you will make the right choice here.

Sorry bout that still a bit touchy that "this person" went and did that.
None the less I have tried taking how my ex is feeling.
Deep down I do feel I've made the right choice. To know wether I have or not will take some time to figure out.

Thankyou for your input.

[Karma]

What is this bird was giving you a slap? Would you react?

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[kickingzebra]

You ping the bra... They hate that...

[babyface]

I wouldn't go to the cops either.... The word of mouth idea is much better.

Possibly write down exactly what happened so that if it happens again you have it in writing that it isn't the first time

ok i have been in this situation. long story short the only thing that will work is go to the cops especially if you have marks.
reason being for restraining orders are crap doesnt work for its your word against his rubbish.
you write down what happen and he does it again the cops just going to think you asked for it, for you didnt report it the first time.
the only way guys that hit and woman that hit too, is cops they will hate being inside for the guys in there hate woman bashers they learn real fast not to do it again.

[Aitch]

I go to a lot of domestic violence incidents in my job, and in every instance it's not the first time the man has hit the woman. I went to one recently where the woman was badly beaten, and found by her 6 year old daughter. This woman had 3 restraining orders against the man, and yet she invited him back yet again. She had no sympathy from her parents or the police, and there's a possibility she could end up in a wheelchair from the attack.
I've had women who have managed to get away from their violent men, be in woman's refuge, and still go and meet the man the next day, only to end up getting the bash again.

IF they hit you once, they will do it again. And if you take them back thinking they will change, you have given him a licence to do it again.

Men who bash women, are attracted to weaker women - ones they can control to make them feel like a big man. If you are in a situation with a man like this, the only way things are going to change is if you change yourself. Get away, take a good look at yourself, change your own attitude and the vibes you give off, and become strong. You'll be amazed at the different sort of people who want to be around you.

I know all this from bitter experience. Once I sorted out my own problems and got our of the 'poor me' syndrome, my life got better and better. I have some wonderful people around me now and can't remember a time when I've ever been so happy.

Brilliant! At last a reasoned and mature comment!
Kittie, forget the "word of mouth" drivel, act like a grown up and lay a complaint with the cops. If you rely on friends of your parents to assault him you're no better than he is!

[Colapop]

What is this bird was giving you a slap? Would you react?
Hey, no fair she's put a lot of hard work into that body and wouldn't waste the effort by breaking her hand. That chick from "Supersize She" on the other hand....

[NotaGoth]

Brilliant! At last a reasoned and mature comment!
Kittie, forget the "word of mouth" drivel, act like a grown up and lay a complaint with the cops. If you rely on friends of your parents to assault him you're no better than he is!

Not relying on that.

[Dafe]

I say "Move on......" Whats done is done, he's in your dark devious past now.

Besides, Why go to the cops? They'll be buisy helping Officer Mikey round up the criminals doing 110 on the motorways.

If this guy is that bad, You'd be better having nothing to do with him sooner than later. If he hangs around against your will, then persue the charge amongst other things.

[inlinefour]

What is this bird was giving you a slap? Would you react?

<IMG SRC=http://www.bodybuilder-photos.com/galleries/2003/2003-12_NABBA-Int-Inc_Universe_Cuxhaven/images/bodybuilder-female_IMG_3120.jpg>

Depends on the type of slappin, never know. Might actually enjoy it...:nya:

[Scorpygirl]

Errr dunno ... I am only little. However a couple of times I have hit Rhino on the arms with my fists!!! I don't know why, just lost it cause things have got me down. I am so sorry. Not an excuse. I am just a violent woman. I hang my head in shame.

[Rhino]

Hi Kittie,

I have been following this thread and watching the offered info and your responses.

I know that you may consider me an "Old Fart":yes: after rmeeting me and SG at Opononi, but I have managed to put some experience under my belt over the years. I would offer these comments;

Walk away from the guy right now. Things will not get any better. If he has hit you once, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN despite all the promises.


Report this to the Police. If he gets away with this now, what stops him the next time (when he is even more angry and injures/kills the victim?)

That's my $0.02. Hope that you are Ok.

[u4ea]

i say tell the cops.he"s a weak prick who is power tripping and you dont need to be questioning yourself.i know because i was beaten more than once.i may be tall but i am still a woman and now i beleive if a man has to hit a lady he needs to be dealt with one way or another

[spudchucka]

Why is it a higher level of assault? Because of the gender of the perpetrator and the victim?

Bullshit.
You're entitled to your opinion. However I think you are wrong, men who bash women, (and children) are the lowest form of bully.

[spudchucka]

You cannot be serious?
"Sly old fox"?

I was expecting to see numerous SOF interpretations.

I wasn't suggesting at all that you could in anyway be considered a SOF. Sorry if thats what you thought.

[The_Dover]

You're entitled to your opinion. However I think you are wrong, men who bash women, (and children) are the lowest form of bully.


Then you are a sexist pig.

Any person who assaults another should be vilified for their use of violence whether they have testicles or not.

Unless they are knocking the shit out of JSG. Then they should be rewarded.

[spudchucka]

Then you are a sexist pig.

Any person who assaults another should be vilified for their use of violence whether they have testicles or not.

Unless they are knocking the shit out of JSG. Then they should be rewarded.
Thanks for the name calling, very big of you.

Frankly I don't care what you call me, I've dealt with too many abused women and their low life abusers to be upset by what you think of my opinions. Bottom line for me is if you are a woman abuser then I'm glad that the law gives the provision to treat you more harshly because you are a piece of shit that needs to go to jail.

[Fatjim]

Spud, Dov, get your wires uncrossed for fuck sake.

BTW, your both arseholes.:wait:

[The_Dover]

Sorry Spud, I forgot the comma after sexist.

The fact of the matter is your opinions are not unbiased or objective. They are prejudiced and tainted by your experiences as a pig.

Try and differentiate between domestic abuse, whether prepetrated by a man or woman, and the right to assault any person.

Men have no less right to not be assaulted than women, but seem to be held more accountable for their actions due to physical differences between the sexes.

I just hope some big ugly bitch gives all you sexists the bash one day!

[spudchucka]

The fact of the matter is your opinions are not unbiased or objective. They are prejudiced and tainted by your experiences as a pig.
I never said that my opinions were unbiased. In fact I'll happily admit that they are totally biased. For some reason there most be plenty of other's with the same bias or we wouldn't have MAF in the statutes, would we?

[Lou Girardin]

I'm with Spud (God forbid), guys who hit women are low scum. And it's funny how so many of them are weak looking chinless excuses for men too.

[The_Dover]

Shame they weren't a bit more biased mate, maybe then we wouldn't have given them the vote either or have the big ugly he-bitch helen in charge.

And we'd all still get our eggs cooked when we got home from work.

[spudchucka]

Shame they weren't a bit more biased mate, maybe then we wouldn't have given them the vote either or have the big ugly he-bitch helen in charge.

And we'd all still get our eggs cooked when we got home from work.
You call me sexist and then make a post like that. Now I'm thinking you are just shit stiring.

Thanks Lou, its nice to have you back again.

[kickingzebra]

Albeit on a little more than half the income... (pay equality still isn't happening is it?) The principle versus the outworking of the law. I believe woman are different creatures to men, and some protections should be maintained. The robobitches of this world are a breed apart, and are not representative of the average woman. But then the point that woman know how to mess with a mans psyche is equally valid. Maybe that deserves some protection under the law, though hard to quantify.

[The_Dover]

You call me sexist and then make a post like that. Now I'm thinking you are just shit stiring.

Thanks Lou, its nice to have you back again.

No, I'm totally serious. If we can't have equality then I want my fuckin eggs ready by the time I get home with the grocery money.

[beyond]

Nothing gets me worked up more than a bloke being violent with a bird of the non feathered variety. :angry:

They deserve anything they get when they stoop to those levels.

Mind you, the reverse is happening a lot now. There are many complaints of birds knocking guys around now. A growing trend apparently.

[justsomeguy]

Unless they are knocking the shit out of JSG. Then they should be rewarded.

You don't need to knock the shit out of me. I'll gladly shit on you with my own free will.

"Cook my eggs, by the time I get the grocery money"...... friggin hell.... who's the sexist pig I wonder??

[justsomeguy]

Mind you, the reverse is happening a lot now. There are many complaints of birds knocking guys around now. A growing trend apparently.

So what? Most guys should be able to take a punch and get out of the room as quickly as possible, then dump the crazy woman.

It's not okay for anyone to hit anyone in general.

[The_Dover]

So what? Most guys should be able to take a punch and get out of the room as quickly as possible, then dump the crazy woman.

It's not okay for anyone to hit anyone in general.

Why should a guy "be able to take a punch"? Cos he's male?

My point was that it's no more or less acceptable if you don't have a penis.

Domestic violence is a different issue.

[justsomeguy]

My point was that it's no more or less acceptable if you don't have a penis.

I agree completely. :yes:

I just say the guy should take the punch and get out - not hit back.

[spudchucka]

Domestic violence is a different issue.
Please explain.

[spudchucka]

No, I'm totally serious. If we can't have equality then I want my fuckin eggs ready by the time I get home with the grocery money.
And you'll smack the bitch in the head if she doesn't cook them when and how you want them?

[Squeak the Rat]

So what? Most guys should be able to take a punch and get out of the room as quickly as possible, then dump the crazy woman.

It's not okay for anyone to hit anyone in general.
Guys reactions in this situation are often similar to all the stories you hear of women going back to their partners. I know a guy who was getting bashed - similar story to all the ones you normally hear, he loved her and it wasn't normal for her, it was the booze etc so he stayed with her. He had to go to A&E once because of an iron to the head. I think that was the last time, but it took a while and he was gutted that he had to end the relationship. I doubt it's as common as the other way around, but it does happen and it doesn't get reported much either.

As a matter of interest this guy was a cop.... Bloody nice guy too.

[justsomeguy]

Bloody nice guy too.

I guess that was his biggest "fault" if I may call it that.

He must have really loved her and given her chance after chance and compromised his life to suit her moods.

Sometimes it's hard to accept that the people you love are not as great as you think they are.

I can easily understand people going back to their abusive relationships; they are blinded by their feelings and block out reality. That is why it is so easy for the rest of us here to tell Kitty to walk away but relatively tougher for her to so. She has shared a history with that person and remembers more about him than the one second where he hit her.

[DMNTD]

So what? Most guys should be able to take a punch and get out of the room as quickly as possible, then dump the crazy woman.

Not always that easy in reality mate...I know from experiences.
I've been stabbed in the head with a wine glass by a female...I defended myself until another chunk of me fell to the ground. Got to the stage that she was serious going to kill my arse so I twacked her in the gut and got the freak out of there...why is it then that I got charged eh...and yes as another member has posted it stays for LIFE!
Yes I do get a bit pissy when people make broad sweeping statements that ALL men that "hit" women are 100% wrong...different circumstances in most cases.
Don't get me wrong,I HATE wankers that beat women cause they can't handle some stress/she gets lippy/etc...weak individuals and fuck knuckles but hey you need to see that it is NOT always the same.



It's not okay for anyone to hit anyone in general.

100% agreed...ya got it in one there..." in general"

[justsomeguy]

And you'll smack the bitch in the head if she doesn't cook them when and how you want them?

Dover is an idiot, but I don't think he'd do that.

[The_Dover]

Please explain.

It would appear that the people on here that keep arguing how wrong it is for a man to hit a woman are the ones that are referring to situations where the female is regularly on the receiving end of a good hiding from their partner. Domestic violence.

However if a female attacks a male then I would say that the man has every right to defend himself and if that means fighting back then so be it. If you would read my posts you would see that I am against anyone, male or female, using violence agaisnt any other person, male or female.

The problem I have is with the neaderthals that choose to label someone who hits a woman as a coward and the lowest life form. I do not agree with anyone striking out at anyone else, male or female.


And you'll smack the bitch in the head if she doesn't cook them when and how you want them?

Hell, if you want to be all victorian and seperate my rights as a man from those of a female then why not take it to extremes?'

But no, I wouldn't as I would not advocate a sexist regime like that in the first place. I like to think that men and women are equals, equal rights, equal responsibility and equal culpability.

[justsomeguy]

Not always that easy in reality mate...I know from experiences.

. but hey you need to see that it is NOT always the same.




100% agreed...ya got it in one there..." in general"

Anyone who thinks otherwise has no idea how much of a "bitch" some women can be.

[Patrick]

My 00.2c Kitty...

Don't know you or the circumstances but there usually is two sides of the story, but hitting out is not an option.

1. He hit you - he won, you lost.
2. You do nothing - he wins, you lose. He gets away with it and as a result of getting away with it, he WILL do it again.
3. You report to the Police and prosecute - you win, he loses.
4. You report it "for the record" only and not prosecute - you both win, you have power and control back again because you didn't tolerate it and more importantly, it shows everyone (family/friends/him) that you won't tolerate it.

Ultimately, it is your call. Good luck.