Idiot things people say.

[Ironman]

Years ago when I got my bike licence, back in the days when all you had to do was sit a theory test and have a Traffic Officer wedge himself in his black and white car and follow you around the block, I had a Kwaka 600. I'd been racing offroad for a few years and there was no way I was going to ride a 250 hence the purchase of the 600. After a few tickets due to my racing licence apparantly being no good for use on the road, i thought i'd get legal. A nice traffic officer on the Nth Shore agreed to let me sit on my 600, doubt whether they'd be that lenient today

Anyway I turned up for the practical and there was a guy there with L plates on a shiny new GN250. He took one look at me on the 600 and said "I don't know whether I'll be able to keep up with you". I just about fell over laughing and casually reminded him that we were both sitting a licence test being closely followed by a cop and I was pretty sure he would be able to stay with me as I observed the legal limit of 50km/hr :done:

[Smorg]

I once said i was feeding splys to my fider. That was probably the most idiot thing ive said

[Ironman]

I once said i was feeding splys to my fider. That was probably the most idiot thing ive said

ahhhh booze, it's done wonders for the English language :yes:

[Madness]

I think it is retarded to say "11 o'clock am in the morning" or alternately "6.45 pm in the evening" Hear it all the time on telly. Must watch less telly & more KB.

[Jantar]

Or when people talk about eftpos cards and their PIN number. Don't they realise that they are effectively saying "Personal Identification Number Number"?

[Biff]

I boarded a bus once with a mate. He asked the bus driver for a return ticket. The bus driver asked, "Where to?". My mate replied, "back here".

[Ixion]

Oh, well. yeah, I mean if you're gonna include the *welch* in this .

[Biff]

That's nought but a nasty rumour. We've paid in sheep, and male voice choirs, and Katherine Zita Jones. We kept our side of the bargain. They misread the small print.

[Biohazard]

I boarded a bus once with a mate. He asked the bus driver for a return ticket. The bus driver asked, "Where to?". My mate replied, "back here".

Roflmao...that did the trick i'm now happy again...

Oops not a good idea to read these posts at 12.30 @ nite when the missus is asleep...kinda woke her up with me laughter....lol

keep em coming.

[Swoop]

Or when people talk about eftpos cards and their PIN number. Don't they realise that they are effectively saying "Personal Identification Number Number"?
Ah! Much like ASB Bank - Auckland Savings Bank Bank......:doobey:

[Wasp]

Can i get a scoop of fish and a chip please?

[bobsmith]

I was feeling nice one day and told my gf that I would kitchen the clean... my girlfriend said she would prefer me to clean the kitchen.....

[thehollowmen]

Ah! Much like ASB Bank - Auckland Savings Bank Bank......:doobey:

Every day we get a few hundred forms at work with "past history"
isn't the redundant too?

[Suzi Q]

went to McDonalds one day in full motorbike gear - took in the helmet etc, and I was asked if I wanted to take it away - where the hell am I going to put the drink - haven't got a drinks holder on the bike!!:confused:

[zeRax]

thats not silly suzi q, i take away maccas all the time with the bike :P
get a drink bottle and ask for no ice :P?

[oldrider]

Roflmao...that did the trick i'm now happy again...

Oops not a good idea to read these posts at 12.30 @ nite when the missus is asleep...kinda woke her up with me laughter....lol

keep em coming.
Hers a silly question. What the hell is "Roflmao"? Cheers John.

[Ixion]

Roll on the floor laughing my arse off

(Get with the action , dude, can't let the young ones have all the good stuff)

[oldrider]

Roll on the floor laughing my arse off

(Get with the action , dude, can't let the young ones have all the good stuff)

Thanks, sent you a green but they told me off. Cheers John.

[Shadows]

I think it is retarded to say "11 o'clock am in the morning" or alternately "6.45 pm in the evening" Hear it all the time on telly. Must watch less telly & more KB.

Fuck I thought I was the only one that gets fucked off with that

[Shadows]

Or when people talk about eftpos cards and their PIN number. Don't they realise that they are effectively saying "Personal Identification Number Number"?

Yerp. Enter your Personal Identification Number number into the Automatic Teller Machine machine and get some money money out to pay for some p.m night classes classes you fucktards.

[Motu]

6.00pm,three roller doors shut and just the side door open....I'm enjoying an after work beer and kettles - ''Are you open?'' says some darkskinned dude wearing pyjamas.

It appears we don't speak the same language - but they soon get the gist of what I mean.....

[Ironman]

ahhh that one reminds of the year that I dislocated my shoulder 10 times, invariably someone would see me do it and watch the cursing and yelling as I'd pop it back in and then come up with the beauty "Does it hurt?" I'd typically answer, why don't you lie down and I'll pull on your arm so hard until it pops out of the socket and then you tell me! Morons!

[Ironman]

I think it is retarded to say "11 o'clock am in the morning" or alternately "6.45 pm in the evening" Hear it all the time on telly. Must watch less telly & more KB.


Last night at around 11.15 Pm in the evening.

Mate you've been caught out at your own game. Saw this beauty on another post of yours :blah:

[Biohazard]

thats not silly suzi q, i take away maccas all the time with the bike :P
get a drink bottle and ask for no ice :P?
Smart ass :first:

[Colapop]

ahhh that one reminds of the year that I dislocated my shoulder 10 times, invariably someone would see me do it and watch the cursing and yelling as I'd pop it back in and then come up with the beauty "Does it hurt?" I'd typically answer, why don't you lie down and I'll pull on your arm so hard until it pops out of the socket and then you tell me! Morons!
I got my knee dislocated and torn ligaments during a game. The lower half of my leg is nearly at a right angle to where it should be. The ref comes over and asks if I'm ok to carry on...?? "Oh yeah, hang on I'll just get some tape on..."

[Sniper]

It seems like after the countless accidents I have managed to get through life, no matter how much bleeding, pain, damage or physical scarring I have, was in, had, everyone always thought it was a beauty thing to ask... "Are you OK?"

When you can see bone or lots of blood (Like 500mls+) Im generally not OK

[Maha]

After a days fishing, get back to the wharf and a bloke standing on the wharf sees the the big bucket of fish and ask's '' did you catch those ''?..... um, no they all jump in the bucket while i was not looking.....:yes:

[Maha]

And people who use the word Texted or Text'd, i dont how it is spelt because the aint no such word.............. its Text ! as in, i text you, i text brian about that etc etc......:nono:

[gunnyrob]

I must admit I'm guilty of the odd humourous utterance. Way back, I was in an Airforce vehicle that my mate rolled up at Kaipara. When all came to a stop with the wagon on it's side, my boss drove up

Boss: "what the _uck happened???"
Me: (still dazed) "Tony rolled the rover over!"

Luckily we were all ok, and all present pissed themselves laughing.

[2much]

Oh shit, where to start?

Girlfriends have alway's been a constant source of amusement for me, here's a couple of past goodies.

Back when I was living with my parents I had a chick who was a true blond in every way. One day we pulled up at the olds' place, they had an internal access garage with a homemade catdoor cut in the garage door. Anyway, she asked what it was, so I told her "it's a catdoor", with which she replies "so how does the cat get in when the garage door's up?"


Another girlfriend (brunette this time but you'ld swear she was blond), and another fucken cat.
Anyway, if you've got a cat you'll know those Wiska's cans with the easy open tab. Well one of these cans sat on our kitchen bench for about two months. As it was her cat (pointless fucken pets) and I wanted nothing to do with it, I ignored it.
Well anyway, one day we're in the kitchen and she turns and says she's been meaning to ask me if I can open this cat food can somehow as the tab tore off it when she tried to open it..... I looked at her real weird, turned around, and pulled the can opener out of the drawer......
You should've seen her face, I swear she was about to kill me :)

[RMrobbo]

ahhhh booze, it's done wonders for the English language :yes:

Yeah like my mate who told the friendly policeman "I haven't had a cu*t all night drinkstable"