Short motorbike joke

[The Flux Capacita]

Stopped for speeding

• A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too

:Police: :stupid:

[Dooly]

:killingme :killingme :killingme

[placidfemme]

haha very clever :)

[bobsmith]

REPOST!!!!!

I'm suprised no one spotted it before me!

Yeah my first repost spotting!

Sorry

[Sketchy_Racer]

REPOST!!!!!

I'm suprised no one spotted it before me!

Yeah my first repost spotting!

Sorry

You got 'em mate :laugh:

[The Flux Capacita]

hehe i got another one here as well...longer one with short quotes on why a motorbike is better than a woman:P...i think there's a few versions going around though with dogs etc

[The Flux Capacita]

Why Motorcycles are better than women

• Your motorcycle doesn't get upset when you forget it's birthday.
• You don't have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
• You can choke your motorcycle.
• Your motorcycle doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
• Motorcycles don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
• Motorcycles don't snore.
• Your motorcycle won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
• Your motorcycle won't leave you for another rider.
• You don't have to pay child support / alimony to an ex-motorcycle.
• If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
• If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
• If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
• If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
• If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
• If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
• If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
• If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
• It's always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
• Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
• Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
• Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
• Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
• Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
• Motorcycles don't have parents.
• Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
• Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
• Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
• Motorcycles last longer.
• Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
• Motorcycles' curves never sag.
• New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
• When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
• You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
• You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
• You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
• You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
• You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
• You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
• You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that • Motorcycles are equals.
• You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
• You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
• You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is worn.
• Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
• Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
• Your Motorcycle doesn't car what you're wearing when you take it out.
• Wearing two fresh rubbers makes riding a bike MORE enjoyable.
• The rashes you get from motorcycles go away without those painful IM Penicillin shots.
• One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the motorcycle in the basement.
• Disassembling the motorcycle is done out of pleasure rather than need.
• Motorcycles always sound pleasant.
• Unlike women FAT motorcycles aren’t cheap dates.

:ride:

[placidfemme]

• Your motorcycle doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.

yeah lol it just doesn't start...

[Swoop]

You do realise that there is a section for jokes to be posted into???

[Str8 Jacket]

And that they are both re-posts? :oi-grr:

[PuppetMaster]

REPOST!!!!!Sorry


That itself is a repost. I win. Thanks for comin.:Punk:

[The Flux Capacita]

wopps oh well...i'm new:P

[ZeroIndex]

both reposts but both funny

[inlinefour]

bling awarded, an oldy but a goody.:killingme

[XTC]

You do realise that there is a section for jokes to be posted into???
Does it really matter?

[XTC]

And that they are both re-posts? :oi-grr:
And does it really matter??

[The Flux Capacita]

lol i can't find the link to get to the jokes bit:S...don't go on here much though so like i sed still kinda new to posting:blink: anyone know how to get to it...copy paste:P

[UrbanMyth]

:rofl: awesome!

[Gremlin]

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/index.php

Scroll down to the "Off Topic" section. Find the "Rant or Rave" forum, then there will be a sub-forum link to "Jokes and Humour".

[The Flux Capacita]

kool cheers:2thumbsup:

[Beemer]

Does it really matter?

Yes, it seems to matter a lot to some people - I've been red-repped by spank me before for accidentally posting in the wrong forum.

[The Flux Capacita]

Yes, it seems to matter a lot to some people - I've been red-repped by spank me before for accidentally posting in the wrong forum.
bugga...is there anyway i can like move it or something:S

[Gremlin]

It has already been moved by the moderators.

Beemer, some of us don't bother reading every single post in every thread. I often avoid the jokes, as I'm trying to get through 10 or more pages of posts in a few days.

Hence, by threads being in the right place they can get the proper attention, say problems with bikes in the tweaking section, or something.

[XTC]

Yes, it seems to matter a lot to some people - I've been red-repped by spank me before for accidentally posting in the wrong forum.
Yeah but it's only rep...... not like it's anything important.

[Beemer]

It has already been moved by the moderators.

Beemer, some of us don't bother reading every single post in every thread. I often avoid the jokes, as I'm trying to get through 10 or more pages of posts in a few days.

Hence, by threads being in the right place they can get the proper attention, say problems with bikes in the tweaking section, or something.

I wasn't saying I didn't care if it was posted in the wrong forum because I don't want to see jokes in all the other threads either, what I was saying is that it does matter a lot to some people.

And I've just been red-repped - AGAIN - by spank me for putting something in the wrong forum. I'd love to know if every person who puts something in the general motorcycle ravings forum gets red-repped if it isn't 100% about motorcycling? Like all the threads about cars? Or is it only the ones spank me bothers to read? Whoops, maybe I should have posted that in the "what pisses me off" thread.

[Str8 Jacket]

And does it really matter??

Actually I was being S A R C A S T I C :blah:

[GN1NiteStnd]

• Motorcycles last longer.
-yes well that is also why motorcycles are better then men.

[KiwiNZ]

Have a laugh; if it hasn't already been posted found this on M109riders.com

• A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th EBA.
• Officer: May I see the ownership papers for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the ownership papers in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It is valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing there.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

Chers

[marty]

not a bad effort - reposting the same joke in the same thread! nearly 2 years after the thread began!

:)

[firefighter]

hahaha, iv'e seen them before but still good.......(who looks at the really old ones anyway!)