Muppet pushie riders

[SARGE]

on the way into work this AM.. coming up Dominion road by the Wendy's.. this pack of asshole pushbike riders shoots out of a side street without looking.. right in front of me ( 5 meters or so..).. lucky i have those finely hones cat-like reflexes, or i would have have 35 pounds of shredded flesh and spandex splattered on the front fairing..


what the fuck are these gay assholes thinking?.. first of all.. they are on a damp public road, wearing a pair of 1 micron thick nylon underpants ( i could see every freakin wrinkle on these fuck-tards), and a plastic Power Rangers - lookin bash hat ...


not to mention doing this on a set of gum-rubber 1 inch wide tires..

the worst part is the metro-sexual muppet at the rear of the pack gives me shit as i pass him..i think i hate them more than mini-chopper riders

i hope he slides across gravel on his spandex covered ass

[Two Smoker]

I thought you were talking about Loosebruce and dss3 then.... you know... muppets... pack of homos... etc...

[UrbanMyth]

hahaha you have a rad way of saying things.Good story

[onearmedbandit]

I love how cyclists want to be treated as 'normal road users' but feel free to run red lights. I'd love to hit one of the fuckers running a red in my merivale tractor. It's red(ish) so the blood wouldn't worry me.

[SARGE]

I love how cyclists want to be treated as 'normal road users' but feel free to run red lights. I'd love to hit one of the fuckers running a red in my merivale tractor. It's red(ish) so the blood wouldn't worry me.


the green and pink spandex in the radiator would be a clue for CSI though...

[onearmedbandit]

Nah, I'm sure CSI hate cyclists as well.

[jimbo600]

I ride a pushie to work and back. Well a MTB anyway. One thing I notice is there is a difference between MTBers and roadies. Roadies love all the queer shit and ride side by side which fucks me off completely. MTBers are the baggy shorts and shirt, pull stunts kind of folk. We don't ride side by side because we aint go no mates.

[SARGE]

I ride a pushie to work and back. Well a MTB anyway. One thing I notice is there is a difference between MTBers and roadies. Roadies love all the queer shit and ride side by side which fucks me off completely. MTBers are the baggy shorts and shirt, pull stunts kind of folk. We don't ride side by side because we aint go no mates.


auckland is a whole different zoo

[jimbo600]

Too true. Used to stick to Woodhill forest when I was in AK.

[Motoracer]

auckland is a whole different zoo

Not too different my friend. When Jimbo says MTBers, he means a select few who are actually into making proper use of MTBs. Not the geeky wannabes...

[cowpoos]

Not too different my friend. When Jimbo says MTBers, he means a select few who are actually into making proper use of MTBs. Not the geeky wannabes...
jimbo is a bit of a geeky wanna be thou lad....he does try and hang with the wairarapa hardcore....and is definatly envious of the skills we possess!!!

[Motoracer]

jimbo is a bit of a geeky wanna be thou lad....he does try and hang with the wairarapa hardcore....and is definatly envious of the skills we possess!!!

What skills are thoes? Next time you go to Manfield, take your MTB along with you then. I'll bring mine down.

[ZeroIndex]

on the way into work this AM.. coming up Dominion road by the Wendy's.. this pack of asshole pushbike riders shoots out of a side street without looking.. right in front of me ( 5 meters or so..).. lucky i have those finely hones cat-like reflexes, or i would have have 35 pounds of shredded flesh and spandex splattered on the front fairing..


what the fuck are these gay assholes thinking?.. first of all.. they are on a damp public road, wearing a pair of 1 micron thick nylon underpants ( i could see every freakin wrinkle on these fuck-tards), and a plastic Power Rangers - lookin bash hat ...


not to mention doing this on a set of gum-rubber 1 inch wide tires..

the worst part is the metro-sexual muppet at the rear of the pack gives me shit as i pass him..i think i hate them more than mini-chopper riders

i hope he slides across gravel on his spandex covered ass
..the days i wish i drove a big american semi :D

[jimbo600]

jimbo is a bit of a geeky wanna be thou lad....he does try and hang with the wairarapa hardcore....and is definatly envious of the skills we possess!!!

You're on to me man. I mean just check out my location. Man you guys are just so mighty. Wish I could feel cow tits all day.

[GR81]

haha i love the word "muppet"! hahaha

[The Beast]

...and ride side by side...

Which is illegal anyway. Just pass them going Reeeeeeeaaalllllyyyyy fast, that puts the shits up them.:scooter:

[jimbo600]

Which is illegal anyway. Just pass them going Reeeeeeeaaalllllyyyyy fast, that puts the shits up them.:scooter:

I pulled up to a couple of fuckheads riding side by side on Paekakariki hill and told them what fuckin idiots they were. They wanked on about its their road to, so I turned around and buzzed them to highlight just how vulnerable they are. I'm sure turds oozed out their spandex like a jelly through a sieve. I mean fancy riding side by side on twisty bits.

[Ixion]

Actually, since pushies don't make any contribution through fuel tax, RUC or rego (nor do they pay ACC!), it might well be retorted that, no, it is NOT their road too.

[cowpoos]

You're on to me man. I mean just check out my location. Man you guys are just so mighty. Wish I could feel cow tits all day.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha... .ya funni cunt....but are you hardcore!!!

[jimbo600]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha... .ya funni cunt....but are you hardcore!!!

More hard than a bag of very hard things hardcore. You know it too.

[cowpoos]

What skills are thoes? Next time you go to Manfield, take your MTB along with you then. I'll bring mine down.
give me a few hours and I'm sure I can think up some skills I possess...errr....ummm...erm.....errrr......

[cowpoos]

More hard than a bag of very hard things hardcore. You know it too.
yer.....u do hav a priddy hard bag or hard things....!!!! lol

[jimbo600]

yer.....u do hav a priddy hard bag or hard things....!!!! lol

a double hard bag with double bastard hard things in it with a cunting hard handles.

[cowpoos]

a double hard bag with double bastard hard things in it with a cunting hard handles.
now your making me horny.....remeber what happened last time...now quite it..

[Fishy]

Yeah those road cyclists are bloody muppets alright!. Riding 3 abreast along busy road, they bloody deserve to get run over!.

They also don't like riding to the left of the road either because they don't want to get punctures in their skinny little tyres.

Us MTB riders or BMX freestylists are a different kettle of fish though. I use to ride flatland/street and ramp for years and still do occassionally (more out in the forest though) and not once did I piss off a cage driver.... I did however piss of few motocyclist though, only cause I could keep my front wheel up in the air longer than him :)

If I do go out on a street ride I would rather ride on the footpath unless I'm going for a long distance wheelie. The footpath provides things like jumps and obsticles like little old ladies and small children. Jumping down flights of stairs are also good fun (down in the auckland viaduct is a good place to ride).

[Lou Girardin]

Why not add the fuckers to the bird hunting season. Save the Pukeko, waste bloody psyclists.
Pukes have more brains anyway.

[Fishy]

Why not add the fuckers to the bird hunting season. Save the Pukeko, waste bloody psyclists.
Pukes have more brains anyway.

Problem is though that bird hunting season ain't long enough. :ar15:

[Smorg]

I remember once me and a mate were driving to work early one morning when we came across this cyclist in the middle of the road riding along. No other traffic just us and this guy who wouldnt move over to let us by. We sat behind him for a little while before honking the horn as a polite gesture to let us by but still he would not, instead of letting us in he turned around and gave us the finger. Im expecting a bit of red for this next bit from all you spandex lovers but anyway.......... I was in the passenger seat and my mate sped up and pulled alongside him. I had been fishing around in the back of the ute for an apple or something to throw at him but I found a length of skinny pvc pipe and as we drew alongside him he stood up on his pedals like they do when speeding up and i seized the oppurtunity to give him an almighty spank across his arse cheeks while hanging out the window with this length of plastic pipe. He must of had a welt on his arse for days (that'll learn him) I bet he hasnt done it since. We still have a laugh over a few beers when recalling that morning

[twinkle]

...and ride side by side... Which is illegal anyway. no its not. they can ride two abreast.
Actually, since pushies don't make any contribution through fuel tax, RUC or rego (nor do they pay ACC!), it might well be retorted that, no, it is NOT their road too. They would probably own a vehicle each, so it is sort of...

[inlinefour]

I remember once me and a mate were driving to work early one morning when we came across this cyclist in the middle of the road riding along. No other traffic just us and this guy who wouldnt move over to let us by. We sat behind him for a little while before honking the horn as a polite gesture to let us by but still he would not, instead of letting us in he turned around and gave us the finger. Im expecting a bit of red for this next bit from all you spandex lovers but anyway.......... I was in the passenger seat and my mate sped up and pulled alongside him. I had been fishing around in the back of the ute for an apple or something to throw at him but I found a length of skinny pvc pipe and as we drew alongside him he stood up on his pedals like they do when speeding up and i seized the oppurtunity to give him an almighty spank across his arse cheeks while hanging out the window with this length of plastic pipe. He must of had a welt on his arse for days (that'll learn him) I bet he hasnt done it since. We still have a laugh over a few beers when recalling that morning

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:wipes the tears from eyes:

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahah ahahaha!!!!

[Fishy]

I remember once me and a mate were driving to work early one morning when we came across this cyclist in the middle of the road riding along. No other traffic just us and this guy who wouldnt move over to let us by. We sat behind him for a little while before honking the horn as a polite gesture to let us by but still he would not, instead of letting us in he turned around and gave us the finger. Im expecting a bit of red for this next bit from all you spandex lovers but anyway.......... I was in the passenger seat and my mate sped up and pulled alongside him. I had been fishing around in the back of the ute for an apple or something to throw at him but I found a length of skinny pvc pipe and as we drew alongside him he stood up on his pedals like they do when speeding up and i seized the oppurtunity to give him an almighty spank across his arse cheeks while hanging out the window with this length of plastic pipe. He must of had a welt on his arse for days (that'll learn him) I bet he hasnt done it since. We still have a laugh over a few beers when recalling that morning

Hahahahahahahaha nice one mate!. Rep for that...green that is :)

[Ixion]

no its not. they can ride two abreast. They would probably own a vehicle each, so it is sort of...

Unless other vehicles are trying to pass - when they must revert to single file.

And since I own a vehicle other than my bike, could I on that logic expect to be excused registration licence and fuel taxes on the bike. After all i own a vehicle that i do pay on- so the bike is free, right?

[ZeroIndex]

nice Smorgen.. as soon as I can find your post, you'll get some green bling for putting those useless spandex-wearing loonies in their place :)

[twinkle]

Unless other vehicles are trying to pass - when they must revert to single file.

sure, its just rude to hold up traffic. but i don't know that they must revert to single file.



And since I own a vehicle other than my bike, could I on that logic expect to be excused registration licence and fuel taxes on the bike. After all i own a vehicle that i do pay on- so the bike is free, right?
well you could register bicycles and have them pay road user charges, acc etc, but I can't imagine too many parents would be happy about having to pay their little kids registration fees.
And then to be fair why not charge for all road usages? pedestrians, skateboarders, rollerbladers, horses, cattle etc.

I guess bikes aren't required to be registered because it would just be too much of a hassle, they don't cause any road damage, they don't go particularly fast, its not such a big mess if they hit a pedestrian, and they don't cause too much of a problem generally.

[Gremlin]

Nosty bunch of haters aren't ya?? tsk tsk

I did probably 10 years or more on bicycles, some competitively, but all road. Have a road bike and a bike built to my specs (hybrid of off-road strength and road speed). Should get my lazy arse around to selling them tho, coz I know I'm not going to pick it up again.

I never rode 2 abreast tho, unless we were practising our team drills, where the leader moves to the back of the line. Fantastic adrenalin following a mate with 1 cm or 2 between our wheels at 40kph+. Top speed I ever did was on the road bike, 85kph. With only a bit of lycra... :crazy: when I think about it now...

Pissing off the motorists is dumb though... you're flesh, they're metal. That said, try not to pass as close as possible. I had one moment where I felt lucky to be alive, as the car passed so close I felt it right up my side.

Be thankful they are on a bike... not a car trying to kill you...

[NhuanH]

Much anger I sense. Anger leads to fear. And fear is the path to the dark side.

Can I summarise a representative KB hate list:
1. Cagers
2. Pysclists
3. AZNs, especially AZN drivers.

I hate fookin AZN drivers too...

[BarBender]

....I had been fishing around in the back of the ute for an apple or something to throw at him but I found a length of skinny pvc pipe and as we drew alongside him he stood up on his pedals like they do when speeding up and i seized the oppurtunity to give him an almighty spank across his arse cheeks while hanging out the window with this length of plastic pipe. He must of had a welt on his arse for days (that'll learn him) I bet he hasnt done it since. We still have a laugh over a few beers when recalling that morning

LOL That story has just made up for a shitty week not being able to ride.
Bling on its way!

[Mr Skid]

i seized the oppurtunity to give him an almighty spank across his arse cheeks Dude. That's gay.

[SPman]

Dude. That's gay.

Hey - you should know............

[Smorg]

Dude. That's gay.

Your only gay if you take it aye Skid........

[Mr Skid]

Hey - you should know............It was the Honda Jazz that gave it away wasn't it?

[Mr Skid]

Can I summarise a representative KB hate list:
1. Cagers
2. Pysclists
3. AZNs, especially AZN drivers.You forgot:
4. Poorly maintained roads
5. Road works

[Ixion]

Surely traffic cops must figure in there?

[NhuanH]

Surely traffic cops must figure in there?
It's ingrained into every Kiwibiker to hate cops/traffic cops/rent-a-cops...

Didn't think it warranted mentioning.

[SlowHand]

You forgot:
4. Poorly maintained roads
5. Road works

not to mention that dipstick indian guy

[Ixion]

And of course sprotsbike riders hate cruisiers, and vice versa. And Suzuki riders hate Hondas,and everybody hates BMWs.

Maybe we should settle on everybody hating everyone.