oh, oh, oh, ahhhhhhhhh

[Biff]

There are some things in life that are wonderful experiences, simply through the relief that they bring. Maybe it's going for a nice long piss after being on a bus for a couple of hours, trying desperately to tie the end of your dick in a knot to keep the last 5 pints of Tui inside you, and not on the bus seat. Or maybe it's realising that the used condom lying on the bedroom floor when you wake up after a heavy session on the beer, filled with some 'gunk', and the reason why you have a sore arse - is because your mates spat in a condom and sprayed your sphincter with deodorant as a joke Just imagine..... Suffering for days with some intestinal disorder picked up on a recent trip to some shit hole of a country, resulting in you vomiting and shitting (well - pissing through your arse) continuously for days on end, then, just when you think all is lost - you feel a fart brewing. Do you dare? Yes, but gently and......woohoooo.....just a puff of smelly gas comes out. Ahhhhhhh. What relief. No. I have no shame. Or any toilet paper left. But I do love a good fart.

[Flyingpony]

:killingme You're so funny Biff. I gather you've just recovered from some interesting food experiences.

[onearmedbandit]

Sooo, tell us more about the time with the condom mate. How long until the pain subsided? And how were you so sure huh?

[Oakie]

As Sir Richard Hadlee said about touring India ... "Happiness is a dry fart"

[Colapop]

No-one wants to comment but -

Aint dat da truth!!

[Skyryder]

Do I detect a hidden yarn in your post Biff. If it's to do with slippery or dry farts..................'out with it'..................that man.

Skyryder

[inlinefour]

Good post, bling earnt.:first:

[Indiana_Jones]

Following through isn't much fun at the time lol

-Indy

[Insanity_rules]

Oh yeah gastro intestinal fun brought to you by the letter E-coli and by the number 2. So make with the story Biff, what happend?

[Sniper]

Lol, now that was a classic read :)

[MSTRS]

How right you are, young Biff. Nothing worse than that 'damp' feeling....

[scumdog]

How right you are, young Biff. Nothing worse than that 'damp' feeling....

I suspect in Mr Biffs experience 'damp' would be a gross understatement..


or is that gross underpants???

[ManDownUnder]

Nothing but the truth there chap!

I'd offer for your consideration that feeling of a good dump after a long ride so everything internal has has 150kms of "compaction", it takes a little to get things moving and then... just as the sphincter gates open and the first of those backed up parcels arrive at the loading bay with an ever so satisfying splosh.

Or the really long ones that simply coil all the way down and enter the water before the gates have shut to cut it off... (they can be a bastard to flush) - but that's a whole other story...

It's second only to good sex, or a real hairy arsed near death experience on the bike which you somehow regather and ride away from... followed by that HUGE shot of adrenaline.

Yeah - life's for living... and my life is simple - and disturbingly primal.

[ManDownUnder]

I suspect in Mr Biffs experience 'damp' would be a gross understatement..


or is that gross underpants???

To quote Neil from the Young Ones
"These are my underpants and I'm sticking to them!"

[Biff]

It's all true I tell thee.

Sometime it doesn't matter what precautions you take, the germs still get ya.

Just to stoke any gross mental images you may already have formed following reading my original post - I actually discovered that ye ole Delhi Belly had arrived thanks to a fart as well.

Waiter - New pants please.


As for the condom thing. All I can say is that it was my spit, but I wasn't responsible for pulling the poor, unconscious, guys trousers down and spraying his sphincter with some B.O drant.

[ManDownUnder]

It's all true I tell thee.

Sometime it doesn't matter what precautions you take, the germs still get ya.

Just to stoke any gross mental images you may already have formed following reading my original post - I actually discovered that ye ole Delhi Belly had arrived thanks to a fart as well.

Waiter - New pants please.


As for the condom thing. All I can say is that it was my spit, but I wasn't responsible for pulling the poor, unconscious, guys trousers down and spraying his sphincter with some B.O drant.

Mate - you need help!

And as it turns out - so do I
"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Biff again"

[DemonWolf]

haha.. good stuff Biff.

So which one of you did your mate blame for the ... er.. "act" of er.. sodomy?

[Macktheknife]

AH the wonderful KFC diet strikes again, the records of this years efforts include some friends going as long as 14 hours without leaving the loo! Losing 12 kg in 4 days, and a pair of trousers. And one poor soul who went for 24 days without being able to have solids in or out.
Tis a terrifying thing to wake in the night thinking did I just fart? (kind of) or did I wake up in time?
happiness truly is a dry fart.