number33
29th May 2006, 19:23
here's my favourite rant.
Now most riders claim any motorbike that's not modern is a peice of junk. Me included sometimes. Rattly noisy rubbish compared to to any 2006 model bike. Slow and anti-social too. But they're not that bad. Yes, when I ride my motorbike thru town, small children often run screaming, and little old ladies sometimes collapse on the footpath, hey, I'm not denying that, but old musclebikes were never meant to be P.C. were they? So lets not make such a big deal of it. It's about time pedestrians started to toughen up. Hey, parents can always take their kids to trauma councelling and pensioners get cut-rate medical care don't they? So get off our case.
And hey,look, O.K so the flipped petrol tanker incident last week may have been my fault, hey I'm not saying it wasn't, but that trucky should have known a dark visor will cut a riders vision. Look, the apartment building didn't suffer too much structural damage, so lets not make such a drama out of it. It's not as if all the survivors were seriously injured and burnt. Only some. So give the old bikes a break. And yes, yes, O.K. so the overturned car transporter incident yesterday may have been more than just co-incidence, hey I'm not denying that, but jesus, truckies should have more control when swerving motorcycles. It's not my fault my mirrors were dusty.
A lot of people seem to think only badasses ride old bikes. It's just not true. Hey, all motorcyclists have at one time or another been the cause of traffic carnage, armed defender callouts, helicopter chases etc.. etc... Admit it! Yes, just as I thought, all motorcyclists are guilty. A case of the kettle and the pot if ever there was. And yes, all right, the local hells angels did petition parliament to have me banned from the streets because of reckless riding and excess noise, hey I'm not denying that, but it's a bit on the nose when my neighbours are demanding I pay their vet bills.
Hey, fluffies blood contaminated my brake pads for chrissakes! You didn't hear me asking them to pay for new ones. Did ya! Did ya! And anyway they should know it's sometimes easy to ride down the wrong driveway at 2 a.m. Pet owners should take more responsibility for their animals' whereabouts. Fluffy should have damn well learnt from the 9 previous incidents. But there you are, it's all just take, take, take from some people.
Hey, I haven't maimed a pedestrian for a week now, but no-ones praising me for that. Are they! Are they! And when the cops were dragging me down the street kicking me teeth in last night, where's the justice in that? And if all these bastards down the street don't stop their complaining, there's going to be even more trouble. And if these wideboys down at kiwibiker keep sin-binning me every week this computer's gonna find itself upsidedown out on the bloody lawn. Why can't we all just get along? Fuck I'm wasted. Must be time to take the bike for a slalom. See youse all on S.H.1.
P.S. anyone know a decent solicitor?
Now most riders claim any motorbike that's not modern is a peice of junk. Me included sometimes. Rattly noisy rubbish compared to to any 2006 model bike. Slow and anti-social too. But they're not that bad. Yes, when I ride my motorbike thru town, small children often run screaming, and little old ladies sometimes collapse on the footpath, hey, I'm not denying that, but old musclebikes were never meant to be P.C. were they? So lets not make such a big deal of it. It's about time pedestrians started to toughen up. Hey, parents can always take their kids to trauma councelling and pensioners get cut-rate medical care don't they? So get off our case.
And hey,look, O.K so the flipped petrol tanker incident last week may have been my fault, hey I'm not saying it wasn't, but that trucky should have known a dark visor will cut a riders vision. Look, the apartment building didn't suffer too much structural damage, so lets not make such a drama out of it. It's not as if all the survivors were seriously injured and burnt. Only some. So give the old bikes a break. And yes, yes, O.K. so the overturned car transporter incident yesterday may have been more than just co-incidence, hey I'm not denying that, but jesus, truckies should have more control when swerving motorcycles. It's not my fault my mirrors were dusty.
A lot of people seem to think only badasses ride old bikes. It's just not true. Hey, all motorcyclists have at one time or another been the cause of traffic carnage, armed defender callouts, helicopter chases etc.. etc... Admit it! Yes, just as I thought, all motorcyclists are guilty. A case of the kettle and the pot if ever there was. And yes, all right, the local hells angels did petition parliament to have me banned from the streets because of reckless riding and excess noise, hey I'm not denying that, but it's a bit on the nose when my neighbours are demanding I pay their vet bills.
Hey, fluffies blood contaminated my brake pads for chrissakes! You didn't hear me asking them to pay for new ones. Did ya! Did ya! And anyway they should know it's sometimes easy to ride down the wrong driveway at 2 a.m. Pet owners should take more responsibility for their animals' whereabouts. Fluffy should have damn well learnt from the 9 previous incidents. But there you are, it's all just take, take, take from some people.
Hey, I haven't maimed a pedestrian for a week now, but no-ones praising me for that. Are they! Are they! And when the cops were dragging me down the street kicking me teeth in last night, where's the justice in that? And if all these bastards down the street don't stop their complaining, there's going to be even more trouble. And if these wideboys down at kiwibiker keep sin-binning me every week this computer's gonna find itself upsidedown out on the bloody lawn. Why can't we all just get along? Fuck I'm wasted. Must be time to take the bike for a slalom. See youse all on S.H.1.
P.S. anyone know a decent solicitor?