Famous quotes that were never quoted

[Skyryder]

So the weather's got all shitty down here and before the Brass Monkey types get back and tell us what a great time they had, I thought a bit of humour might not go astray.

So Pick a favourite charaecter real or ficticious and turn his most memorable quote into one that he did not quote.



From the TV series The Boys from the Black Stuff

Yosser Hughes = "Gisser fuck."


Skyryder

[Madness]

I did not have sex with that woman's relations.

Sure Bill, we believed you.:blip:

[MSTRS]

.
Aaiieee. What the fuck was that?
. .

[Hitcher]

OK, we fucked up. We're going home now.


Good call, Mr President
In your dreams.

[GR81]

they think it, but they dont say it...

"we can beat the all blacks"
-Irish rugby team


dont do anything i wouldnt do and if you do, name it after me!
-Mark the Shark

[What?]

You know I can dance, you know I can dance,
I CAN DAA-AAANCE!
I can really hit the floor!

(No - I'm bloody well not watching it!)

[mini_me]

How the fuck do we work that out?

can't remember the others - they somewere on here can't find them though...

[Sniper]

We live in a worl where humans and fish can coexist peacefully
When I heard that I pissed myself


I just went behind that tree and laid the most magnificent egg
Was some book I was reading about some soldiers and one who had not had a bowel movement for a few weeks.

[MSTRS]

Where did all those fucking Indians come from?
Kindly stolen from the list of historical uses of the work 'fuck'

[mini_me]

Kindly stolen from the list of historical uses of the work 'fuck'
dont forget


You want what on the fucking ceiling?

[Karma]

come on man... that's old eh...


Where the fuck is all this water coming from?

[Madness]

All New Zealanders deserve Tax Cuts

Surely he never uttered these words.

[Karma]

Nice and topical...


Can I borrow your purse?

[ManDownUnder]

Sir - we're running short of ice in the upper deck bar.
..........


No worries mate - watch this....


..........

[Karma]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ManDownUnder again.



The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen it to at least 10 characters

Fine fine... 10 bloody characters...

[Hitcher]

Kindly stolen from the list of historical uses of the work 'fuck'
An inevitable consequence of having a little big horn?

[MSTRS]

An inevitable consequence of having a little big horn?
You been peeking, you disgusting little man? *sniffs derisively, stalks off to sulk in private*:innocent:

[Biff]

"Come on Kylie - let's have a 3 some with Biff. He's a hunk." J.Lo

[Finn]

Remember Helen Clark’s promise to NZ in May 1999 about the pledge card for that election - “My signature is on it. I am accountable for it”.

Yeah right.

[Pussy]

Remember Helen Clark’s promise to NZ in May 1999 about the pledge card for that election - “My signature is on it. I am accountable for it”.

Yeah right.
That's better, Finn. You've been leaving the lefty commos alone a bit too much lately. Keep up the good work

[mstriumph]

Oh for Christ's sake, let her drive... — The commander of Challenger.


I wonder if this thing is loaded ? — Kurt Cobain

10 characters

[Sniper]

I wonder what happens when I squeeze these pink things under that animal

Shamelessly stolen from Biff

[Motu]

''He quoted $1167.47 for a full engine recondtion,and it cost $2329.36 and he didn't even replace the pistons''

Yeah right.....

[Ixion]

Oh, er, sorry Mum, I didn't think it'd make that big a bang. I'll clean it up, honest, it's not much really, just a bit of energy and stuff.

. .

[The_Dover]

. I didn't see you. .

sdfhasul;gnycfl

[Krayy]

Pap smears? Yeah, I've done a course in all that.

P.S. I'm not a gyneacologist, but I'll have a look at it for ya :yes:

[Krayy]

Oh, the knee bone disconnects from the leg bone, the leg bone disconnects from the hip bone.......

There's Klingons off the starboard bow.....

[Motu]

He's dead Jim....

[Virago]

He's dead Jim....
.......And the one that was NEVER spoken in any episode of Star Trek:

"Beam me up, Scotty."

[MSTRS]

And this just in....

Fuck me, Peter. That's a big one!

[Krayy]

.......And the one that was NEVER spoken in any episode of Star Trek:

"Beam me up, Scotty."
Ah, but in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, he did say "Maltz, cho-wa-nee" (or something along them lines - ask a geek), which essentially translates to "Beam me up, Maltz"!

[DemonWolf]

.......And the one that was NEVER spoken in any episode of Star Trek:

"Beam me up, Scotty."

It was spoken by Kirk in Star Trek IV

[Sniper]

It was spoken by Kirk in Star Trek IV

No it wasnt


Beam me up, Scotty"
Notes: From the Star Trek science-fiction TV series. Several variants of this do occur in the series, such as "Beam me aboard," or "Two to beam up", but "Beam me up, Scotty" was never said during the run of the original Star Trek series. However, the quote "Beam me up, Scotty" was uttered in the Star Trek animated series that aired in 1973-74. The movie Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home included the closest other variation: "Scotty, beam me up."

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/List_of_misquotations

[SARGE]

....and i doooont have a gun.. no i dooooont have a gun...



Cortney Love had the gun...

[NC]

My shout!

...............

[Squeak the Rat]

Hi Helen, shall we do dinner at your place this week? I hope Michael will be there too......



10 kfc

[Finn]

10 kfc

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[thehollowmen]

... this is the day we declare war on the tourists of the world!


Laughed at that one.



The correct caption for that picture was supposed to be "Got it at last! It has been up my right nostril for the last two weeks


Don't look now, but I think I'm being followed.

I've got a whole book of these

[NC]

Hugs not Drugs
Put yah hands up!

[Squeak the Rat]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Sorry.......
..........

[thehollowmen]

so this weekend I think I might go and get stoned..


I did a dream of a painting today


Well I'll be a monkey's uncle! I never imagined my theory would cause this much trouble


I need a day off! It is so exhausting being the world's greatest lover. If I have a day off I might be able to cook a sausage and actually use it as food. "Kay, Why jelly?" will be a question about Katherine's choice of pudding. I really need a day off

Want more? :-P

[Sniper]

Hell yes......

[Krayy]

Originally Posted by Cager
I didn't see you. .

...and the follow up...


"Yessss.....10 points!!! I'd better get home and post this on the KiwiCager web site!!"

[NC]

Fuck, she was a swamp donkey

Hehehehaha

[ManDownUnder]

Bugger - $150 for splitting down the Nor Western
..............

[The_Dover]

I'm sorry officer, it must be very strenuous for you revenue gathering all alone on these deserted backroads, protecting the innocent public from the 2 wheeled menace.

One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock.........

[Sniper]

I'll stop posting soon

[paturoa]

on her 1999 pledge card - no new taxes to the 95 per cent of people who earned less than $60,000 per annum

oh - was this thread about things that weren't said or were said????


.....before the Brass Monkey types get back and tell us what a great time they had

dam right had a wicked time!

[thehollowmen]

It was my fault


And after he gave me the ticket I thanked him


I wanted to have his babies from the moment I saw the red and blue lights

ok I better not stir too much shit up ;-)

[NC]

Push the Graphite Tipped Boron rods into the reactor as fast as you can. It should start cooling.

[ZorsT]

after he gave me the ticket i thanked him

BUT i actually DID thank him...

[Lou Girardin]

Hunter S Thompson, "did I load this? Fucked if I can remember".