A rant about Family Court

[riffer]

Throught I'd take this one out of the "not being allowed to thread"

I haven't seen my kids for a month now as my ex is violating a court order.

I turned down the option of having my ex arrested and the children seized by the police today in court, as I didn't want my kids (aged 3 and 6) traumatised by these actions, and as her lawyer agreed in court that she would try and resolve access problems with me (I'm supposed to have them this weekend, - its the standard every 2nd weekend & half the school hols thing).

Anyway we step out of the courtroom and her lawyer tells me that she's taking them away for the weekend so I can go jump and the only time she's willing to let me see them is between 3 and 5 during the week FFS.

Not impressed. :brick::brick::brick::brick::brick::brick::brick:: brick::brick::brick::brick:

[FROSTY]

Dude I totally feel for ya --seriously. I aint gonna jump on the ol the system sucks bandwagon but i will say dude keep ya chin up and take note of everything that was said done -times places etc. --Its a funny thing dude--what goes around comes around --Ive seen it so many times
I concidermyself blessed to have had a relatively pleasant seperation from my ex so it is possibl;e to get allong

[750Y]

sorry to hear that celtic, that's really unfair, I hope the kids enjoy their weekend away tho, as you know, that's the main thing. I really dislike the way that children are used as a currency or a weapon by a selfish & vindictive parent. my best friend(RIP) had this same deal & it really hurt him a lot. but man when he did get to see his kids he was like a kid himself. he lived for those times. when he died his ex & kids never even came to his funeral. now the kids are off the rails. really sad. keep looking forward to the good times. full credit dude.

[Cajun]

Sorry to hear about ya troubles

just one thing, keep a tape recorder in your pocket when dealing with people like that, so you can record what they say, and so in turn can be used later on.

[James Deuce]

Time for a massed KB turn out for the next court appearance. Anyone who rides a motorcycle is a gang memeber so that should be enough for some intimidation.

[Ghost Lemur]

That seriously sucks celticno6. I feel for ya brotha.

I'm still involved in a custody battle with my ex. Thankfully I managed to walk away with the kids so my situation is a little different (her deciding once every 6 months that she wants to be a mum, and then going off the psychological rails again - she's been ingaged like 5 times in the 20-odd months since I left her and had a least one confirmed miscarrige, yet her lawyer , who doesn't even know where she is, keeps trying to say in court that she's stable and should be allowed to see them). And there's still no end in site.

It sounds like you are trying to be civil and think of the kids, and she's taking advantage of that. Unfortunately sometimes the only choice is between two evils and trying to choose the lesser. I do suggest keeping in constant contact with your lawyer and letting them know everything that happens so it's all documented.

It's just unfortunate that you and your kids are being forced to miss out on spending that precious time together.

Stay strong

[Ms Piggy]

Time for a massed KB turn out for the next court appearance. Anyone who rides a motorcycle is a gang memeber so that should be enough for some intimidation.

:stoogie: Yeah I reckon!! :headbang:

Celtic that sux mate! I'm not a parent so I can't know what it's like at all but hang in there!!

[RiderInBlack]

Sorry to hear that Celticno6. Your not alone went it comes to having suck custody situations. Family Court does not treat Fathers very well. In my last flat in Tuaranga both the landlord and the other flatmate had the custody battles form hell (won't go in to them, but they were really bad situations and it really effected their kids). Recommend you contact The Union Of Fathers as they give each other really good support in these situations.
Oh and always have a witness when picking up your child (not having one really backfired on my old landlord one time when he went to pick-up his daugther).

[toads]

Whatever the difficulties please hang in there celtic, kids need their father's input and believe me there are so many guys that shun the fatherly role, your ex is cutting off her nose to spite her face, so to speak as she needs your support in raising those kids and having a break at weekends is not only great for the kids but for her too, you sound like a sensible person, so don't be discouraged, I'm sure she'll see that the kids need you as much as they need her. It is a great pity that Men generally are not seen as suitable single parents of young children by the system, while it's true that young kids need their mother, it's equally true that young kids need their father. Unbalanced humanistic social policy I'm afraid

[Big Dog]

Time for a massed KB turn out for the next court appearance. Anyone who rides a motorcycle is a gang memeber so that should be enough for some intimidation.
Family court is a closed session, they often ask the parents and or the children to leave for various bits. I was not allowed a support person, not even my live in g/f.

[Big Dog]

Sorry to hear about ya troubles

just one thing, keep a tape recorder in your pocket when dealing with people like that, so you can record what they say, and so in turn can be used later on.
Agreed, my lawyer had me get one and a diary to record and document every single conversation or phone call.

If you don't tell them you are recording it is inadmissable unless it is as evidence of abuse, or violence. So unless you tell them you are recording the actual wording is irrelevant.

Keep on keeping on.

[James Deuce]

Family court is a closed session, they often ask the parents and or the children to leave for various bits. I was not allowed a support person, not even my live in g/f.

I mean outside. Where the lawyer changes the facts.

[Jackrat]

Sorry to hear about ya troubles

just one thing, keep a tape recorder in your pocket when dealing with people like that, so you can record what they say, and so in turn can be used later on.

No don't do that,it is ILLEGAL and you cannot use it later on,in fact it WOULD make things a LOT worse.
Celtic,Just keep doing the right thing and hopefully you will win in the end.
I can't even begin to understand how hard it must be for you but please don't take any advice like that above even though it was well ment.
Best of luck mate.

[White trash]

Celtic, I feel for you mate. My kids are my life and to not be able to see them would rip my guts out. Luckily my ex-wife is pretty good and I see mine every day.

Keep at it man, you'll get there. :niceone:

[riffer]

Thanks for all the support guys.

This is an ongoing situation unfortunately, mainly caused by my ex hating my wife.

When I met my wife my ex told me I had to choose between having a girlfriend and having children.

I tried to have both.

Trouble is now she's trying to say my wife is a danger to the kids.

A tough situation. We're not taking it personally at the moment. With any luck the counsel for the children will consider it poor form for my ex to take away the kids for the weekend after having her lawyer tell the judge that she was committed to working out some kind of access arrangement.

At least we still have one kid at home, and rugby in the morning to look forward to, and a ride on Sunday morning over the 'takas!

:rockon:

[Quasievil]

Well I can sympathise to, my ex has applied to the court for all custody to seize based on nothing, and she wouldnt let me pick him up tonight, for no reason, 5 years on she should be over it.
Its NOT fair the family court is a fucken joke that is completely in the womans favour. My ex is completely obstructive and the courts let her based on absoultely nothing, Im a good Dad and always have been.
Makes me fucken angry that men are put in this situation.
I am a member of Union of Fathers and its amazing to hear about some of the crap that goes on.
what the others say about recording, get everything, tape it what ever.
Go to Union of Fathers and get advise.
Kids grow up and they arent stupid, they know whats going on, my boy knows his Mum uses him as a pawn, she wont have him long.
you have to Wonder what the mothers treaction would be if there Sons marry and seperate from a wife who has her interests over the child in Mind, What would the Mothers impression be then ????

This is for all ex Wifes who do this to the Fathers and the Children :shake: :ar15: not neccersarily in that order.

FATHERS UNITE

[What?]

Family court is just like any other court. It's got fuck-all to do with justice or fairness, especially if you are a bloke. :mad:
Sorry, I can offer no advice - just a spot of sympathy

[jimbo600]

No don't do that,it is ILLEGAL and you cannot use it later on,in fact it WOULD make things a LOT worse.
Celtic,Just keep doing the right thing and hopefully you will win in the end.
I can't even begin to understand how hard it must be for you but please don't take any advice like that above even though it was well ment.
Best of luck mate.

It's not illegal as one party of the conversation consents to it being recorded. In this case the consenting party is the same as the person recording the conversation so therefore it's not illegal.

[spudchucka]

Thanks for all the support guys.

This is an ongoing situation unfortunately, mainly caused by my ex hating my wife.

When I met my wife my ex told me I had to choose between having a girlfriend and having children.

I tried to have both.

Trouble is now she's trying to say my wife is a danger to the kids.

A tough situation. We're not taking it personally at the moment. With any luck the counsel for the children will consider it poor form for my ex to take away the kids for the weekend after having her lawyer tell the judge that she was committed to working out some kind of access arrangement.

At least we still have one kid at home, and rugby in the morning to look forward to, and a ride on Sunday morning over the 'takas!

:rockon:
Sadly I've dealt with countless men in a similar position. I really sympathise with you it must be awful not being able to see your kids. So often men are hung out to dry by their ex-wives / partners and they use the family court and the kids to make your life a misery. To be fair to the fairer sex however I have also dealt with a number of cases where the roles are reversed. It seems to be in human nature to get back at our former partners and boy people can sure be nasty to one another.

Just make sure you keep things orderly and proffessional from your end because you don't want to give her any cause to go applying for a protection order as she will really be able to f**k with you then.

Best of luck, I hope all works out for the best.

[Jackrat]

It's not illegal as one party of the conversation consents to it being recorded. In this case the consenting party is the same as the person recording the conversation so therefore it's not illegal.

Try telling that to any judge in the land.
Taping somebodys conversation without THEIR knowlage is illegal.I spent two years having that FACT shoved down my throat during detective training.
If you want to give somebody advice on the law make sure you know what your talking about first,other wise you could be causeing more trouble than you know.
If you want to get the facts ring any lawyer in the country and find out for your self,Most of them will not even want to discuss the issue.
Your not talking about a traffic ticket this time so you should show a bit more respect and responsibilty to the person you are telling this to.

[Quasievil]

Try telling that to any judge in the land.
Taping somebodys conversation without THEIR knowlage is illegal.I spent two years having that FACT shoved down my throat during detective training.
If you want to give somebody advice on the law make sure you know what your talking about first,other wise you could be causeing more trouble than you know.
If you want to get the facts ring any lawyer in the country and find out for your self,Most of them will not even want to discuss the issue.
Your not talking about a traffic ticket this time so you should show a bit more respect and responsibilty to the person you are telling this to.


My Lawyer advised me to tape converstaions that way there is an accurate record of what was said, not neccersarily so the tape can be played in court.
you Must gather all the information.

[FzerozeroT]

Celic6 don't give up (which you're not) I come from the kids point of view, got stuck with Mum when I wanted to live with Dad, I just drove her nuts till she basically threw me out. Dads are the best for fireworks and motorbikes!
Even now 15 years later (Thats a long time) and we all get on well I still feel angry towards Mum for the way she treated me like a possesion.

[LB]

Hang in there Celtic. We're thinking of you.

I don't have any more sage words of advice.

[Big Dog]

Try telling that to any judge in the land.
Taping somebodys conversation without THEIR knowlage is illegal.I spent two years having that FACT shoved down my throat during detective training.
This is exactly why my lawyer sent a letter to her lawyer advising that all futere conversations were subject to recording.

In a private setting (ie where there is a reasonable expectation of privacy eg two people in a room, two people on a phone) it is illegal without a warrant unless ALL parties are aware they may be being recorded. Where there is a reasonable expectation that you will be recorded or overheard you do not have to be aware. Eg on a sound stage, in a location where there is a reasonable expectetion of being overheard, or where you have been notified either on the same recording (nothing prior to the notification is admissable except time and location) or in writing prior. These are all public domain (disclaimer: unless the law has changed since '98)

[El Dopa]

It's not illegal as one party of the conversation consents to it being recorded. In this case the consenting party is the same as the person recording the conversation so therefore it's not illegal.

Hmmmm.

Not sure about this one. We do a lot of work at my place that necessitates a lot of arse-covering. Our phones have a record function, but when you turn on the recorder a computerised voice tells both parties that the conversation is being recorded. I was told that this is because it is illegal to record something that may later be relied on in court, without the consent of both parties (unless a court order is in place). If you're explicitly told that the conversation is being recorded neither party can later say 'well I wasnt told it was being recorded, so it's inadmissible'.