Alone for first time

[chic 'n' charge]

I know this is probably way off topic - but I'm just learning to live for first time on my own. Does anyone else live on their own?

I have real trouble with motivation to cook proper meals, do anything in weekends - I'm hoping I don't get too bored of bike cos I've got no-one to ride with now either.

So any suggestions to make this transition easier would be really helpful.

[scumdog]

Get into a (flexible) routine and stick with it re chores etc so you don't get snowed under..

Make a 'list' of must do's for each day/week.

Do a meal-swap with a friend twice a week or so - that way you're forced to go out and/or have a guest.

Stay off KB so you actually get these done.!!!!!!!





PS Did you go to the hot-rod display at the school in Blenhiem on Q'birthday weekend?

[jazbug5]

Is there anything you've always wanted to do that has been on a back burner for a while? Relationships do cut back on the time you have to do stuff purely for yourself. Why not sit down and make out a list of things (make sure there's some silly stuff on there too!) and then put them in order of priority (I mean by how much fun you will derive from doing them, not how much sense there is in doing them).

Then when you have a day or a few hours free, you have a list of stuff right there to choose from..! Start building up good memories associated with being alone with yourself, and you'll start feeling better about the whole thing, and yourself.

Sorry I'm sort of dribbling, a little sleep deprived today...

[SwanTiger]

Accept that your lifestyle is going to change, take up an additional hobby and use it to make new friends. That way they'll help you mold into your new lifestyle, your old friends will keep you in the habit of your old lifestyle.

Just my two cents. Moved out when I was 15 and enjoyed the independance.

Parties every night and picking fights every weekend.

Propper meals was a pizza less than 24 hours old.

[smokeyging]

Hells teeth, i wished i was single again! make the most of your freedom, go out there and have a ball, make the most of it for when your next partner comes along, you'll wish your single again.

[nsrpaul]

rule of thumb , if it takes longer to cook than to eat its no good fo the single person

[diggydog]

Hells teeth, i wished i was single again! make the most of your freedom, go out there and have a ball, make the most of it for when your next partner comes along, you'll wish your single again.
I agree you still have your life ahead of you, you're still got good friends and love your motorsports.:scooter:
i'm sure if i was down your way, i would ride with you.:blip:

[Joni]

Kelz ==> :hug:

Hang in there hun....

[jimbo600]

Yeah I remember what you're going through. Tell ya what about the cooking thing. I used to dread cooking but learned to cook properly (not saying you can't of course) and in short time I used to look forward to brewing up a meal, even if it was just for me. Mind you I always made a shit load anyway and saved the rest for lunch. Getting fit is always good. Plenty of time to get training in and self confidence is peaking when you look good.

One good thing to entertain is to tease cowpoos. Keeps you going for days, especially as you're a single girlie.

Being on your own can suck at times but it also has some advantages.

Why don't you hop on a ferry and have a weekend burlah around with the Welly massive (guest starring the Wairarapa hardcore)

[Maha]

I lived alone for about 2 years, kinda liked it really, sometimes it sucked but i made it happen. Meals were interesting, i could make what i wanted, nobody to please but me. I had a great cd collection and would listen to music rather than watch tv. There was always the computer, pity i didnt have a bike then or new about this site, i would have takeaways on Thursday nights, then head away on Friday's for the weekend. Are you alone by choice or chance?
Look at the big picture................you've got us..............:grouphug:

[rfc85]

When I first moved down here (10months ago),I was much the same,but have since adjusted and really enjoy the single life style,do want you want when you want how you want. It will all come good for you,hang in there !!!!!

[chic 'n' charge]

Are you alone by choice or chance?
Look at the big picture................you've got us..............:grouphug:

Other half ended relationship - so not really my choice!.

Thanks heaps for your support - I know I will get through, just lonely I guess being away from friends and family I grew up with - came up here for relationship so now that's ended kinda feel lost, but my independence will return.

Thanks for tips. :yes: :yes::scooter:

[froggyfrenchman]

Enjoy the time on your own, takes a while to get used to being the olny one in a house, I enjoyed living alone. Got on my bike every weekend and found spots other bikers gathered and met new people. Was kinda fun.

As for meals. On Sunday night i would cook 2-3 meals and freeze them for the upcoming week, takaways on thursday and out and about on my bike all weekend.

[Madmax]

pets are fun when your on your own, they always listen to
even to the most f**ked up shit.
meals? i enjoy cooking but always make more for when
i cant be f**ked during the week.
(plus i spend more time feeding the pets)
I Have three cats forty odd goldfish and one magpie:pinch:
Its not that bad only the cats think im mad
(but ill sort that one out later,buy the way i blame the fish)

[Motu]

I always wanted to be a grumpy old hermit.....got the grumpy old sorted a long time ago.

[Kendog]

Study something, do a couple of papers in something that interests you, and maybe get a pet.

[yungatart]

Do those things that you have always put off until one day...the day is here and now! Cook simple things that don't take huge effort and freeze some for later on. Walk around the house naked, sing at the top of your voice - preferably badly, leave the toilet door open (the seat will always be down BTW), join the library and have a read, get a pet, join the gym, take up a night class....
I envy you in lots of ways, it must be nice to not be at the beck and call of others all the time.. Enjoy it!

[Paul in NZ]

Re the cooking thingie...

I used to spend a LOT of time by myself 'on the road' for work.

One thing I'd do was put a lot of effort into a decent meal and make enough for 2 nights at least. Second night just 'ding' it in the old microwave and if it involved mince, diced pork or stuff like that it would always taste better on the second night.

Hey, if you are bored... There is a shite load of charities that need volunteers, don't be sad, do some good in the world!!!

Paul N

[Colapop]

Do whatever you want to do. Sounds easy to say but, unless you have responsibilties that tie you to where you are, pick and go girl. Do whatever makes YOU happy. Go where you want, try anything you like. You've got it all laid before you. You don't need to consult anyone or compromise.


Slightly Confuscious now...
Do not seek and that which you desire will find you.

[Rashika]

Def agree with a lot of what has been said. Altho I have a flatmate now...not sure for how long I can stand him tho... I have spent a lot of time living on my own.
I love being able to cook whatever I like and yeah cooking for a couple of nights at once is sensible, and that way if ya wanna you CAN have the same meal two nights in a row, I mean WHOS going to complain about it?? :)
Running around naked in the house is always fun too :innocent:
If you have time, try some night classes, good way to meet people and even learn something new.
And then there is of course us eh? ...and MSN too you know ;)
I wish I had more time at the moment, only 1 week till school hols and 2 weeks of no night classes YEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Night classes are great but really think SERIOUSLY before taking on a 2 year diploma (3 nights a week), its farking hard work....

[chanceyy]

Other half ended relationship - so not really my choice!.

Thanks heaps for your support - I know I will get through, just lonely I guess being away from friends and family I grew up with - came up here for relationship so now that's ended kinda feel lost, but my independence will return.

Thanks for tips. :yes: :yes::scooter:

Hi ya girl .. same thing here 8 months ago .. could have whacked me with a 4x2 and i would have seen that coming alot faster than the split .. it does knock you for a sixer, I was pretty independant before we got together so getting back into a sole routine is hard.

Keeping busy, getting out & about with freinds does give you something to look forward to each day.

will also say take the time out for yourself as well, healing does take time so greive when you need too and if you need support rely on your friends.

It does get easier ... time does help .. chin up girl ..

[The_Dover]

I know this is probably way off topic - but I'm just learning to live for first time on my own. Does anyone else live on their own?

I have real trouble with motivation to cook proper meals, do anything in weekends - I'm hoping I don't get too bored of bike cos I've got no-one to ride with now either.

So any suggestions to make this transition easier would be really helpful.

Find the nearest tinnie house.

Get suitably stoned.:doobey:

Ride to MacD's:scooter:

Get your munch on. :drool:

Then go home and masturbate profusely, until your fingers bleed.:tugger: :wait:

Repeat ad infinum.

[crashe]

Your local supermarket has already pre- made up meals to just throw in the microwave.. :whistle:
Or make up a few meals yourself and shove them in the freezer.

Riding by yourself - Mate go out and discover new roads in your area... Im sure there are some other riders on KB around in your area.
Its also great to go out riding by yourself as well. :scooter:

Weekend riding - Pack your saddle bags and ride to Chch for the weekend and meet up with that bunch... they may even head up your way to meet you half way and then ride half way way back with you at the end of the weekend.:scooter:

Go out and discover life and live it to how you want to live life.

Do what YOU want to do and do it when you want.
You no longer have to answer to no one and tell them where you are.

Get a new hobby or do a night course and you will meet new friends.

Its ok to go to the movies alone....

But it takes time to get over from being in a relationship.
It takes time to heal, but you will get there.

Plus you have all of us on KB to chat to.

[Macktheknife]

Hi Chic, invest in a crock-pot for the cooking, best thing ever IMO, and cook for a couple of meals worth, freeze the other serving or reheat tomorrow. As for the riding, check your local bike clubs, bound to be one, or hook up with other KBers in the area for a bit of a spin.
The biggest thing is to take the time you have now as a bonus for sorting out what you want in a partner and in your life in general. Be kind to yourself and dont spend too much time thinking about your ex or what went wrong.
Experiment with hobbies too, try new things and go to places that you haven't been before.
When feeling lonely, have a friend to call on, don't dwell on it. Also consider taking up some form of martial art training, great excercise and really helps your confidence too. Finally, write a list of things you really think you would enjoy doing, some old and some new, then go do them, not all at once. But don't fall into the trap of 'not being complete as a single', life is for the living.... Carpe Diem.
Have fun and keep us posted.

[paturoa]

can you pick a better font and colour - thats real hard to read

[The_Dover]

can you pick a better font and colour - thats real hard to read

Especiallywhen you are stoned

[ManDownUnder]

Check http://www.healthyfood.co.nz/ and see if you can get hold of the April edition (happy to photocopy and post or fax relevant bits if you want - PM details if required).

"Meals for One" is one section, "Too busy to eat properly" is another

Most magazine/cook books are ok - this one rocks. Put together by people atually qualified in the area. We have a young family so the time issue is critical to us - not so much the "can't be bothered" one you likely have.

Also, a more general note. Find survivors. Those that have been through what you are going through, those that can help. Avoid anyone that didn't survive - they're clearly not the ones that have the good advice and need help themselves - something I expect you may not be in a position to give right now.

Be selfish. If EVER there was a time... this is it. Call favours of people - just becaue you need to. Look after #1... and I expect you're going to have some ups and downs. That's ok. The thing that got me through my crisis was simply knowning they were coming - when a down gets ya... revel in it. Cry, work through it and ignore anyone telling you to just "cheer up". If you could - you would... you can't - so don't confuse things by trying. You'll cheer up when the time is right.

Just be you and know that a better day is coming. Ups and downs might last a while... they likely will - and the sneaky little bastards will get you when you least expect it. 'tis ok.

The down times will reduce over time - you'll survive...
MDU

[dangerous]

I know this is probably way off topic - but I'm just learning to live for first time on my own. Does anyone else live on their own?

I have real trouble with motivation to cook proper meals, do anything in weekends - I'm hoping I don't get too bored of bike cos I've got no-one to ride with now either.

So any suggestions to make this transition easier would be really helpful.
Hey Kelz, yeah I live alone, like it too so make the most of it while you can cos a girl like you wont be alone for long.
cooking, dont ask me cos I dont do it, cant be buggered for just me, different story if I have company tho.
Its winter, cant bloody well ride anyway, but in a few months yoy will have a beter idea were ya want to go so, when the snow melts... you will have pleanty to ride with :scooter:

[Beemer]

Join a club or something that will get you out and about and also introduce you to some new friends of both sexes - it can be anything from a photography club, motorcycle club (usually VERY sociable!) or taking a night class in something that interests you - even a cooking class to give you some great meal ideas.

Don't get into the takeaway or pre-prepared meals trap every night. There is only the two of us but I make full servings of meals and freeze the other two portions - you can do the same even if you're alone. I have a great microwave curry recipe made with rump steak that makes four servings - and it freezes well. Cook a roast and have the left over meat for another meal or for sandwiches. Even if you just have soup and toast, make sure you do eat a balanced diet. Yes, it does take just about as long to cook for one as for four, but the last thing you want to be is alone AND sick because you aren't eating right!

It's a shame you're in Blenheim because I'd start by inviting you around for dinner! Good luck, and hopefully you'll find some great new friends to replace the one who obviously wasn't the right one.

[andrea]

hey gurl how u doing, i broke up with the ex bout a year ago, and it was the damn best move ive ever made. anyways you gotta keep yourself busy and hang out with friends or family. trust me it works, well basically he told me to pretty much get out, so i packed up my things and went, first two or three months i couldnt get my mind off the cunt, but then i kept myself busy and went and got my bike licence and got my bike and a whole lot of other shit, eventually the bike rides and keeping busy and going back to study and making new friends got my mind off the a-hole and i stopped txting his sister and stopped talking to my friend that works with him. and yeah it helps to pull away from anyone that has contact with ur ex etc, anyways hang in there you'll make it.

[mart1]

Find the nearest tinnie house.

Get suitably stoned.:doobey:

Ride to MacD's:scooter:

Get your munch on. :drool:

Then go home and masturbate profusely, until your fingers bleed.:tugger: :wait:

Repeat ad infinum.



You forgot drink till you pass out.:lol:

[The_Dover]

Sorry, I passed out drunk before I could finish my post.

[SDU]

Weekend riding - Pack your saddle bags and ride to Chch for the weekend and meet up with that bunch... they may even head up your way to meet you half way and then ride half way way back with you at the end of the weekend.:scooter:

That sounds like a good plan there are plenty off good roads getting here too! Also ride the long way round to visit the people you already know up your way, just to get use to riding alone, until you meet other riders up your way.
Have to agree with most off what everyone have said, great advice. Take what works for you.
Don't forget to take the time to grieve & start to do things for you & moving on will have happened before you realised it.
All the best for your new life.

[buellbabe]

I bought my property 9 yrs ago, I have had 2 guys live with me since then, the first 1 tragically died and the 2nd one... well pity he didn't! Anyways I have been living with just my critters for the last couple of years and I LOVE it! I guess it depends how comfortable you are with your own company.
Someone sugested to maintain a flexible routine and I couldn't agree more... without my 'routine' it would be all too easy to become a hermit!
I have always had other friends with bikes so altho I tend to stay at home on week nights I will generally be out riding at the wkends so I get my social fix that way. Plus my dogs keep me busy with daily runs...
And look on the bright side if ya don't feel like cooking ya don't have to and that applies to housework as well!
Foodwise I am into fresh veges and meat so its always quickn'easy to whip up something yummy to eat... plus as others have said... look on the net. I know a lady who lives an extremely busy lifestyle and she uses a site called 'Menu-Maid' to plan her meals...

[slowpoke]

Time wounds all heels.....oops sorry, time heals all wounds.
Hmmmm, shame your relationship didn't work out but maybe it's a good thing. You should be comfortable in your own skin and with your own company. It's not much fun at the time but as a learning exercise it will be invaluable in the long run.

I kinda disagree with the posts about getting a pet. In my opinion you get a cat/dog goldfish 'cos you want a cat/dog/goldfish...not to fill a temporary void. Otherwise when the next big thing comes along (partner/child/job etc) the poor old pet is put on the back burner and forgotten about. I've seen to many pets put down, at the shelter, or booted outside for no reason other than their owner has moved on to the next amusement.

Sorry about the rant, good luck!

[slowpoke]

Do not seek and that which you desire will find you.

That's a pearler, I'll have to jot that in me notebook!!

....then again when I was a young fella it didn't matter how hard I tried to ignore the girls, none of them bloody found me!
...same with that bloody low fuel light I was trying to ignore, do you think there was a gas station around the corner?...."yeah right"

[Squeak the Rat]

Feel the love!

My piece of advice, schedule in some down time into your routine and don't feel guilty about it. If you laze around feeling guilty you then get down so then laze around some more (and on and on).

Funny eh - I've never lived alone and it's something I really want to do.....

PS - Edmonds cookbook for flatters also has some good easy options (but I will check out the healthyfood.co.nz suggestion too)......

PPS - Avoid getting home from work and drinking alone............

[chic 'n' charge]

I'm blown away by the warmth from you lot. I have taken on board the wonderful tips - and the one's that aren't well that just proves there's all kinds of people out there eh!!!!! :gob:

I currently have a pasta/vegie bake in my freezer and meat too - yay - I'm on my way.

I was so independent before heading into relationship and then even when we were together we basically lead separate lives - so why am I struggling!!!! dumb ass I tell myself.

Anyways, thanks again for your thoughts.

Chairs to all.

Chic :yes:

[Rashika]

I was so independent before heading into relationship and then even when we were together we basically lead separate lives - so why am I struggling!!!! dumb ass I tell myself.

...probably cos it IS scary being on your own after being with someone for awhile, you aint being a dumbarse! :msn-wink:
Enjoy the time you have to yourself now girl... pretty soon there'll be some other sexy bloke to sweep you off your feet :yes:

You'll have to pop down here for a weekend blast sometime...

[The Stranger]

Get into a (flexible) routine and stick with it re chores etc so you don't get snowed under..

Make a 'list' of must do's for each day/week.

Do a meal-swap with a friend twice a week or so - that way you're forced to go out and/or have a guest.

Stay off KB so you actually get these done.!!!!!!!



Damn I am impressed.
Maybe loud and uncouth, but he does have a sensitive side aye.

[sugilite]

And don't forget you have the ultimate therapist in the garage, The name is DR Kawasaki ZX9R!

[chic 'n' charge]

And don't forget you have the ultimate therapist in the garage, The name is DR Kawasaki ZX9R!

Gonna be my saving grace I'm sure - just had old bat (old lady) wipe out my car today with loose load off back of ute.....man what stink luck eh.....good excuse to get other wheels out of garage.

[Crazy Steve]

It will probaly eat your undies.....

But will provide lots of lean meat...when times are cold...:yes:

You can also let it lick your balls when your lonley.....

Crazy steve...

[WINJA]

I'm just learning to live for first time on my own.
TRY AND BE NICE ,STOP BEING A BOSSY BITCH AND SOME DUDE MIGHT WANNA SHACK UP WITH YOU

[Sparky Bills]

And don't forget you have the ultimate therapist in the garage, The name is DR Kawasaki ZX9R!

Couldnt have said it better!

Just get into the habbit of coming home, cooking good food, and relaxing. It will take a bit of time, but eventually it will come naturally.
:yes:

Good Luck.

[Fatjim]

The bike's been the best therapy I've had this year, trouble is when Winter comes around you feel a bit empty. But bugger it, I'm off for another ride.....

[Skyryder]

Other half ended relationship - so not really my choice!.

Thanks heaps for your support - I know I will get through, just lonely I guess being away from friends and family I grew up with - came up here for relationship so now that's ended kinda feel lost, but my independence will return.

Thanks for tips. :yes: :yes::scooter:

When you come to understand that your best friend is yourself you will never be alone. Does not mean that you don't miss company just its a learning curve of how to handle it when know ones there. Just another thing many of us do ride alone.................we you are but one member of the largest motorcycle club in the world.

Skyryder

Skyryder

[Sniper]

Other half ended relationship - so not really my choice!.

Thanks heaps for your support - I know I will get through, just lonely I guess being away from friends and family I grew up with - came up here for relationship so now that's ended kinda feel lost, but my independence will return.

Thanks for tips. :yes: :yes::scooter:


You know where we are Kelz. You have our number and Im up ther in a few weeks. Send us a text or PM if you need anything. Or get hold of me on messenger.

TJ says hi and thanks.

[surfchick]

if it makes you feel any better I'm having a chocolate bagel for dinner tonight. and a cup of tea. might have to forage some protein tomorrow or there will be trouble...:shifty:

[The_Dover]

might have to forage some protein tomorrow or there will be trouble...:shifty:

too easy.

I'll bit my tongue.

[chic 'n' charge]

Well it's been 3 months since I started out on my own, and I've survived. Sitting here online Friday night & hello who pops up with a message saying "Hi are you ready to chat with me yet" - yip THE EX.....:shit:

So here's the question - is he playing major head games or is he truly interested in finding out how I am - he didn't care when we were together eh so my guess is he just wants to rub it in my face on how happy he is

So any ideas on what I should do about it? :angry: :shutup: :confused:

[Sniper]

You know what I think, told you on MSN :P

[chanceyy]

Well it's been 3 months since I started out on my own, and I've survived. Sitting here online Friday night & hello who pops up with a message saying "Hi are you ready to chat with me yet" - yip THE EX.....:shit:

So here's the question - is he playing major head games or is he truly interested in finding out how I am - he didn't care when we were together eh so my guess is he just wants to rub it in my face on how happy he is

So any ideas on what I should do about it? :angry: :shutup: :confused:

ohh honey .. been having that myself over the last few months .. via texts with pics :o

yeah it is head games .. he may not actually want you .. but does not want anyone else to want you either ....

I asked my ex flat out ... what do you want from me ??....

he asked if he could come home for sex but no relationship ...... errrrrrrrrrr no the fact that I have let him go & not fallen on my face ( not that I would ever admit it to him) ... its taken a few months of bullshit but he has now backed off ...


so honey yes it is head games .. he prolly wants to come back to what he knows, but you have an important question to answer .. can you trust him ??.. will you take him back ?? would it be the same ??

& know one thing honey ... you have all the power ... its your choice .. but remember there are plenty of other guys out there who will treat you better .. you just need time to heal

good luck hon

[mart1]

So any ideas on what I should do about it?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] :angry: :shutup: :confused:[/QUOTE]

revenge sex.... blenheims only 2 hours away, I can be there in 47 minutes:banana:

[Swoop]

...so honey yes it is head games .. he prolly wants to come back to what he knows, but you have an important question to answer .. can you trust him ??.. will you take him back ?? would it be the same ??

& know one thing honey ... you have all the power ... its your choice .. but remember there are plenty of other guys out there who will treat you better .. you just need time to heal

good luck hon
Very well put.
If the guy isn't going to look after (both of) you and be completely honest with you as well... then there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Chin up!

[skelstar]

Living in that 'half-way' place is not cool. Its far too stressful. Without knowing much about your situation and having never met you Im going to give advice anyway :niceone:...make a clean break, make your life about you.

Its easier to go back, but its not the best for you in the long run.

Theres heaps of people here that feel your pain. Trust me.

[RantyDave]

So any ideas on what I should do about it?
Fuck 'im.

No, that's not quite what I meant, is it? I think you should continue on your course of the ex being an ex. You've done the hard yards and, know what, you'll come out stronger. Are stronger. See?

You're a biker chick. Independence good. Fuck 'im.

Dave

[98tls]

Well it's been 3 months since I started out on my own, and I've survived. Sitting here online Friday night & hello who pops up with a message saying "Hi are you ready to chat with me yet" - yip THE EX.....:shit:

So here's the question - is he playing major head games or is he truly interested in finding out how I am - he didn't care when we were together eh so my guess is he just wants to rub it in my face on how happy he is

So any ideas on what I should do about it? :angry: :shutup: :confused: Forget the prick...hes a loser and in 6 months time you wont even remember his name.....

[buellbabe]

IGNORE HIM.
Its been 2 yrs since I had a narrow escape from a psycho and he is STILL trying to worm his way back in... so I know where you are coming from.
You can't turn your feelings on and off like a tap, don't put yourself thru more grief.
Its over and needs to stay in the past. I made the mistake of being 'friends' with my EX when we first split (cos I felt it was safer to be friends than enemies)...didn't take me long to realise thats a BIG mistake. To get him out of ya system and move on you need to have no contact.

When my EX txts me I just delete, I don't even respond.

[duncan_bayne]

Tell him to go away, clearly and explicitly. You don't want to leave him an 'out' by being soft, or trying to spare his feelings (which usually really means trying to spare your own). But don't be rude: right now he's clingy, manipulative and desparate, you don't want him clingy, manipulative and pissed off :shit:

As for the motivation to do things ... I'm not entirely sure I want to hijack this thread into the realm of philosophy, but: before you can be & stay motivated, you need to identify your morality, that is, the values you want to persue in your life. Check out Man's Life as His Moral Standard (http://importanceofphilosophy.com/Ethics_LifeAsMoralStandard.html), which sums it up better than I could.

But basically: once you choose to live life in a rationally selfish way, you won't have to worry so much about motivation - it'll more be a matter of overcoming obstacles on the path to your goals. This is a subtle distinction maybe, but one that helped me get over exactly the same feelings of "blah" that set me back a number of years ago.

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

Haven't lived with a guy for 5 years. Had the odd flatmate - forget it. I don't get hung up on the food thing. 'm still alive no matter what I eat -= healthy too. I have a can opener, microwave, and foreman grill thingie. Nobody has died yet from my attempts at cooking - when I make the effort.

Once a week another single friend will make a meal and we share it and I do the same. Guarantees me at least 1 nice meal a week.

Keep busy to take your mind off things. Yak to people on phone, visit, go for coffee. Unfortunately it is time that will heal. Believe in yourself, spoil yourself and find out what you really like and enjoy.

Don't be afraid to go riding on your own - hell I've been doing that for 5 years as well (actually most of my riding life!!) - I can count the number of times on one hand someone has joined me riding. Always got the excuse - you ride too long, too far, too fast - too bloody something.
When or if I get my bike back I hope to do more KB rides.
Cheers

[GIXser]

Well it's been 3 months since I started out on my own, and I've survived. Sitting here online Friday night & hello who pops up with a message saying "Hi are you ready to chat with me yet" - yip THE EX.....:shit:

So here's the question - is he playing major head games or is he truly interested in finding out how I am - he didn't care when we were together eh so my guess is he just wants to rub it in my face on how happy he is

So any ideas on what I should do about it? :angry: :shutup: :confused:


Sleep with him.......

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

"Can you give me a reason why I would be interested in talking to you?" His ego could be dented cos you've survived without him!! and presumably you have never contacted him - ouch further dent!! lol

Frankly ignore it. How important is it?? (question I always ask myself)
Cheers

[chanceyy]

laffing .. well i did say in a post that my ex had backed off ..


text outta the blue today asking if he could come see me in a couple of weeks on a sat & not leave til sunday ..(hmmmmmmm ohh do i detect a sex call ??)


hmm its been 11 months since he walked ..... so guess he has not quite finished with the head games LOL

but is there gonna be sex ...... ummm no, NOPE, NADDA .. lol :whistle:

[andrea]

yeah tell him to piss off, better yet just dont reply to any of his txts.
look how far you've come, your doing GREATTTT!!!!:first:
you've proved that you can survive without him and you dont need him lol.
make him hurt, or my favourite phrase hit him where it hurts (afew times)YEAHH!!!lol hey i did:msn-wink:

[chanceyy]

yeah tell him to piss off, better yet just dont reply to any of his txts.
look how far you've come, your doing GREATTTT!!!!:first:
you've proved that you can survive without him and you dont need him lol.
make him hurt, or my favourite phrase hit him where it hurts (afew times)YEAHH!!!lol hey i did:msn-wink:

would ignore his texts but for the fact we still have money tied up .. & thinking of going one better ... yeah he can stay the night .. along with some of my friends .. there is a spare bed up the front room :2thumbsup hahahahahahahaha after all i can share a bed with a freind & no sex but does he need to know that ..

my thought i doubt he will stay the night .. lmfao ..

[FROSTY]

Ok as a HUGE favour to the single ladies on here I will loan out one of my rugrats
This will serve double duty First of all youll be so frigging busy chasing after him and cleaning up his mess you wont have time for a life.
second it will put you off kids or the thought of ever procreating so you wont go out looking for a partner.
Ohh and youll never be cooking for just one
As a side effect itll help this poor ol solo dad a bit of a break

[u4ea]

would ignore his texts but for the fact we still have money tied up .. & thinking of going one better ... yeah he can stay the night .. along with some of my friends .. there is a spare bed up the front room :2thumbsup hahahahahahahaha after all i can share a bed with a freind & no sex but does he need to know that ..

my thought i doubt he will stay the night .. lmfao ..

gees it must be spring making these men frisky!!my x came over today and like a lamb to the slaughter was shown the door!!!

[andrea]

Ok as a HUGE favour to the single ladies on here I will loan out one of my rugrats
This will serve double duty First of all youll be so frigging busy chasing after him and cleaning up his mess you wont have time for a life.
second it will put you off kids or the thought of ever procreating so you wont go out looking for a partner.
Ohh and youll never be cooking for just one
As a side effect itll help this poor ol solo dad a bit of a break

noway ive had my fair share of looking after kids and cleaning up after them, its a bigggg job. but they are cool, i always look forward to seeing my nephews and nieces in the weekend. the worst experience was when i was looking after my nephew:baby: we were in my car and eating McD's and then all of a sudden he does a loud fart, and he had this big smile on his face. i giggled:laugh: at first but the smell just wiped the smile off my face:done: , it was just killing me:gob: :sick: :puke: . i looked into the bag that my niece gave me cause their were supposed to be nappies in there, but there were none, so i had to drive all the way back to their house and as soon as i pick him up i ended up with shit on my arm. i took him into the house, found some nappies but i couldnt find anything to clean him so i used one of their tea towels:shifty:. all this and i was running late for an important appointment:sweatdrop oh mannn!! ill never do that again its a full time job i tell you and one im really not suited to:no:

[buellbabe]

would ignore his texts but for the fact we still have money tied up .. ..

DON'T DO IT!
Cut yr losses and FORGET him!

I stayed 'friends' with my EX cos he owed me $15Gs...in the end I just had to kiss that debt goodbye cos he was starting to take over my life again and I got sick of my place getting trashed and threats being made towards me...
THEY DON'T CHANGE!
Forget the money... He will just use you as long as it suits him...

[ajturbo]

DON'T DO IT!
Cut yr losses and FORGET him!

I stayed 'friends' with my EX cos he owed me $15Gs...in the end I just had to kiss that debt goodbye cos he was starting to take over my life again and I got sick of my place getting trashed and threats being made towards me...
THEY DON'T CHANGE!
Forget the money... He will just use you as long as it suits him...

i have to agree here... forget the money. if he has any moral standing, he will pay it.
if he doesn't pay, YOU CAN LOOK HIM IN THE EYE... and know that he CANNOT...:Pokey:

hang in there matey

[chanceyy]

Ok as a HUGE favour to the single ladies on here I will loan out one of my rugrats
This will serve double duty First of all youll be so frigging busy chasing after him and cleaning up his mess you wont have time for a life.
second it will put you off kids or the thought of ever procreating so you wont go out looking for a partner.
Ohh and youll never be cooking for just one
As a side effect itll help this poor ol solo dad a bit of a break

LOL thanks for your generous offer Frosty ... I am one of the woman who do not feel the need to procreate. If the right man came along, & its what we both wanted then fine .. but to have kids for the sake of having a part of you running round .. no thats not a reason to have kids

& My bro has 4 kids who are fantastic, & aunty chanceyy darlinggggggggggg
(yes they call me that .. & they will be 50 & still calling me that hehehehehehehe) loves them back & now they are getting older I can talk to them via PC & phone .. its great ..

I love kids .. but still will not have them for the sake of having them ;)

[chanceyy]

DON'T DO IT!
Cut yr losses and FORGET him!

I stayed 'friends' with my EX cos he owed me $15Gs...in the end I just had to kiss that debt goodbye cos he was starting to take over my life again and I got sick of my place getting trashed and threats being made towards me...
THEY DON'T CHANGE!
Forget the money... He will just use you as long as it suits him...



i have to agree here... forget the money. if he has any moral standing, he will pay it.
if he doesn't pay, YOU CAN LOOK HIM IN THE EYE... and know that he CANNOT...:Pokey:

hang in there matey

Yeah thanks guys

it is a bit more complicated (as marriage bust ups usually are) .. but there is no threat from him & I am a pretty strong individual (thank god) :2thumbsup

In a lot of respects I am lucky as I have fab freinds & her hubby tells me what his next move will be .. & he is batting 100% so far .. :banana:

So essentially the head games crap does not work cause I am mentally prepared for the next round, & then I am not responding like he thinks I will, gotta admit when it first started I was confused as hell .. not any more .. all I know is most men are a strange breed :D