Korumba
29th June 2006, 15:29
Remuera Barbie: This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is
available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and
matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a master degree and
double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home
mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with a Prozac
prescription and Botox' Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming
Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately.
Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working
late". Available at all Newmarket-area Starbucks retailers.
North Shore Barbie: This Barbie is only sold at Smith &
Caughey. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags
, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer and a
long-haired foreign lap dog named "Honey". Also available is
her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or
without tummy tuck, facelift and breast augmentation.
Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
Otara Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm
handgun, switchblade, '78 Holden Ute with dark tinted
windows and a meth lab kit. This model is available only
after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably
small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what
you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at
participating pawn shops.
Henderson Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie
comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken
heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Massey
Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes slow-rise
acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss
and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Holden Ute
Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points absolutely
free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any
Warehouse Store. Massey Barbie sold separately.
Massey Barbie: This model comes dressed in her own Levi
jeans 2 Sizes too small, "It's All About Me" T- shirt and a
Guns and Roses tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of
Lucky and comes with Metallica CD's. She can spit over a
distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when
she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic
zirconium ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight.
Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at
K-Mart.
Onehunga Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes
with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre of
Pepsi and a DPB cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82
Ford pickup are optional. Available at The Warehouse.
Great Barrier Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled
plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no make-up and Birkenstocks
with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken
doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will
receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at the Ferry
terminal.
Ponsonby Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted
from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on
parts. Walks to work and hangs out at SPQR. Likes to
"experiment", but will never commit. This model is being
phased out.
Grey Lynn Barbie: With dark EMO-like hair cut, lip piercing
and op-shop outfit. Comes with Cult film DVD collection and
Eden's bar member's pass, this barbie is too cool for
school. Also availible is her 5 bedroom slightly run down
but arty and adgy Grey lynn villa which she shares with 6
like-minded BA students. Availible now from BFM.
Hamilton Barbie: Available as part of the new Auckland
Barbie range for one night only, she's only going to set you
back twenty dollars, the same price as 'ten bucks for gas
and a bottle of kristov'! Thats so cheap anybody can have
her! Full range of accessories including STD testing kit,
mazda 323 with authentic broken tail light and repco
licenced racing pedals, limp bizkit CD and Alcatel one touch
easy. Nylon quicksilver or rip curl wallet also included.
Also available with Hamilton Barbie is bitter-ex Ken. Have
hours of fun watching Ken use physical threats and
emotional blackmail on Hamilton Barbie. Ken comes served
with a restraining order and a fifty bag. Hamilton barbie is
only available at the Bombay McDonalds and select Papakura
house parties. Get yours today!
available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and
matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a master degree and
double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home
mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with a Prozac
prescription and Botox' Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming
Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately.
Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working
late". Available at all Newmarket-area Starbucks retailers.
North Shore Barbie: This Barbie is only sold at Smith &
Caughey. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags
, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer and a
long-haired foreign lap dog named "Honey". Also available is
her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or
without tummy tuck, facelift and breast augmentation.
Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
Otara Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm
handgun, switchblade, '78 Holden Ute with dark tinted
windows and a meth lab kit. This model is available only
after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably
small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what
you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at
participating pawn shops.
Henderson Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie
comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken
heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Massey
Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes slow-rise
acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss
and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Holden Ute
Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points absolutely
free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any
Warehouse Store. Massey Barbie sold separately.
Massey Barbie: This model comes dressed in her own Levi
jeans 2 Sizes too small, "It's All About Me" T- shirt and a
Guns and Roses tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of
Lucky and comes with Metallica CD's. She can spit over a
distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when
she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic
zirconium ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight.
Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at
K-Mart.
Onehunga Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes
with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre of
Pepsi and a DPB cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82
Ford pickup are optional. Available at The Warehouse.
Great Barrier Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled
plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no make-up and Birkenstocks
with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken
doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will
receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at the Ferry
terminal.
Ponsonby Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted
from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on
parts. Walks to work and hangs out at SPQR. Likes to
"experiment", but will never commit. This model is being
phased out.
Grey Lynn Barbie: With dark EMO-like hair cut, lip piercing
and op-shop outfit. Comes with Cult film DVD collection and
Eden's bar member's pass, this barbie is too cool for
school. Also availible is her 5 bedroom slightly run down
but arty and adgy Grey lynn villa which she shares with 6
like-minded BA students. Availible now from BFM.
Hamilton Barbie: Available as part of the new Auckland
Barbie range for one night only, she's only going to set you
back twenty dollars, the same price as 'ten bucks for gas
and a bottle of kristov'! Thats so cheap anybody can have
her! Full range of accessories including STD testing kit,
mazda 323 with authentic broken tail light and repco
licenced racing pedals, limp bizkit CD and Alcatel one touch
easy. Nylon quicksilver or rip curl wallet also included.
Also available with Hamilton Barbie is bitter-ex Ken. Have
hours of fun watching Ken use physical threats and
emotional blackmail on Hamilton Barbie. Ken comes served
with a restraining order and a fifty bag. Hamilton barbie is
only available at the Bombay McDonalds and select Papakura
house parties. Get yours today!