Auckland Crime Syndicate anyone?

[tomthepohm]

I am thinking of starting up a crime syndicate.

I will be the Don and I need some lackeys and a second in command. There are a few applications for mindless thugs, Oh and of course there will have to be some hot birds for the gangs pleasure. (Have Norfland crew in mind for the mindless thugs)

The Police in Auackland seem to have nothing else to do but give out speeding fines, so lets get it sorted guys, give the poor buggers something to do….

We can be totally mobile, bikes of course, number plates on, as it is my intention to run fear in to the heart of the NZ cuntsables, they wont dare to stop any of the Dons gang members.

You only need a bike and a brick.

Any ideas please feel free to join up or pass comment.

PS, anyone serious reads this and takes it seriously then i will tell you to get fucked and chill out now rather than later.

[The_Dover]

Are we going to have costumes?

[Lias]

ooh Oooh can I have an Armani suit and dark glasses and my very own junior gangster cement mixer?

[tomthepohm]

Yea good one Dover, not thought of that, guess its the gang would have to take a vote.

[The Stranger]

Yea good one Dover, not thought of that, guess its the gang would have to take a vote.

Get lost this is not a democracy.
You are the Don you bloody tell them what they are wearing!

[ManDownUnder]

Get lost this is not a democracy.
You are the Don you bloody tell them what they are wearing!

Yeah - I vote for the Don being a dictator - who's with me?

[tomthepohm]

True that, but my members are important to me, and what we wear is very important.
I am a dictator, this is the one choice thats open.

[Colapop]

I'll be the president of the Wellington (manufacturing & distribution) Syndicate.

Jandals are a must!

[Ixion]

Are we going to have costumes?

No, but you get to wear your underpants outside your jeans.


ooh Oooh can I have an Armani suit and dark glasses and my very own junior gangster cement mixer?


Armani underpants?


Of course, *suitable* costumes would have to be mandatory for any female members. :innocent:

[DMNTD]

...You only need a bike and a brick.

So which piece of your bike will you be riding Tom de-Fencer? :wait:
I'm definately in but we'd need a secret handshake and a patch....oh oh and a mascott!
Have seriously thought about it up here as sick of the baggy pants brigade bullying people up here in town. Someone was killed last weekend by a git with his pants half down...obviously he was caught cause he couldn't run away! :nono:

[nodrog]

I have my own bat and a bad attitude, where do I sign up? also I could possibly supply the Skanks.

[skelstar]

I want to say 'bitch'.

[tomthepohm]

You are on to it Colapop. Will send you down some samples tomorrow, keep a look out for an all black K5, will be one of da Norfland Syndicate. Dont disrespect him.

[ManDownUnder]

No, but you get to wear your underpants outside your jeans.


Oh GOD - NOT AGAIN!

[skelstar]

We shuld have names too, like 'knuckles', 'fingers', and 'Dover the fag'. Just thinking out loud.

[Squeak the Rat]

What happens if some one squeals to the authorities.....?

:innocent: just curious....

[DMNTD]

What happens if some one squeals?
Please say like a pig... :blip:

[tomthepohm]

Norfland massive take them down to the G spot.

[nodrog]

Norfland massive take them down to the G spot.


and as you know, the only way out of there is in an ambulance!

[tomthepohm]

Got picks of some of our harder members.

[DMNTD]

Got picks of some of our harder members.
Hey man...didn't realise ya wanted to see pics of our hard members! :gob:

[PuppetMaster]

I'll be the president of the Wellington (manufacturing & distribution) Syndicate. Jandals are a must!


Sif you would be president, you would be a boss.

tomthepohm. I need permission to whack Colapop.

[WickedOne]

Hey man...didn't realise ya wanted to see picks of our hard members! :gob:

Please no pics bro!!!! I value my sleep!!!!

[Deano]

Are we going to have costumes?

You could have all the gang wear your patented 'gheytors'.

[tomthepohm]

No Colapop important, he has distribution of south coast.

[The_Dover]

You could have all the gang wear your patented 'gheytors'.

They keep the blood out of my sidi's.

[Deano]

They keep the blood out of my sidi's.

They would help making it too obvious if you ever pissed or shat yourself too.....sort of keep it all confined.

[The_Dover]

Surely the smell would give that away? Or have you been hanging out with Mr Poo's for too long?

[onearmedbandit]

I'm up for heading the Sth Island region.

[The_Dover]

I'm up for heading the Sth Island region.

That's the sheep rustling and moonshine covered then.

[vtec]

Here's an idea. You could make the crime syndicate a morally upstanding one, by targetting car thiefs, burglars, and drug dealers, and extorting money out of them. That way you are doing the public a service. While you're at it, you could take down all the pole speed cameras with battery grinders, all they do is catch out people who are new to the areas.

[sAsLEX]

you could take down all the pole speed cameras with battery grinders,
303 WOULD BE MORE FUN

[Deano]

Surely the smell would give that away?

Just use more duct tape - make it impervious :blip:

[Colapop]

Sif you would be president, you would be a boss.

tomthepohm. I need permission to whack Colapop.
This the start of a new chapter for us. We conduct our business in a more civilised manner than our most respected fathers. We will meet to discuss the matter of the "whack". 11pm, South dock, ok with you? I'll send a car for you...

[tomthepohm]

Colapop you have the green light for whack...

Meeting still on for south dock, in future do not advertise meeting places fuck witt or i will have to cap you personally,:2guns: your gang cred just dropped.

lol:rofl:

[Squeak the Rat]

All this talk of whacking members......:nono:

[Colapop]

Colapop you have the green light for whack...
Meeting still on for south dock, in future do not advertise meeting places fuck witt or i will have to cap you personally,:2guns: your gang cred just dropped.
lol:rofl:
Donthepom I respectfully wish to inform you that this is, what could be termed a 'meeting'. If there were any threats implied I apologise. On behalf of my family please accept these white roses - one for each member of your family....

Mafioso Name (http://gangstaname.com/mafia_name.php)

Nicky "The Animal" Palmanero

[Brett]

Here's an idea. You could make the crime syndicate a morally upstanding one, by targetting car thiefs, burglars, and drug dealers, and extorting money out of them. That way you are doing the public a service. While you're at it, you could take down all the pole speed cameras with battery grinders, all they do is catch out people who are new to the areas.

I will be in charge of laundering the coin, and the logistics. As far as costumes go, i vote speedo's.

[andrea]

hey farken cool site im now Daniella Milano, i wanna be in charge of the male prostitutes, ill be the head pimp and getting all da man pussy's out on da road to make us da money. acouple ideas for your uniforms how bout speedo's, pierced nipples, mostashes etc. fros and mallet do's are a must.
oh yeah don't forget to rub baby oil on your bodies too, and leather vests and a bit of sheep skin on your bikes too.

[tomthepohm]

Nicky "The Animal" Palmanero, do not fear the hand that deals the justice as the hand of the Don is unforgiving but fair.

Your loyalty is to be comended.

Andrea, i am happy for you to take charge of the He bitches, show them no mercy... Not too sure about the speedos, will confer with our only homosexual member, Camp Dover.

DonTom

[Colapop]

Dom, with respect, it is Campino Doverio

[SwanTiger]

Lightning Fingers Luigi

[andrea]

CHOICEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! HE-BITCHES HERE I COME hehehe, where the fark is that markauckland he better be pimped out in drag making us some money on K-road like i told him too grrr, yeah man we should have a geybo sector too so they can reck havoc in the ponsonby area.

[tomthepohm]

I cannot appolagise Campino Doverio, however a mistake has been made and someone will pay.

Welcome to the other members Milano and lightning fingers, tune up the bikes, get you bricks ready, our first hit is the most important, therefore i am thinking one of those bastard parked vans, it will be likle robbing from the rich and giving to the poor, we will be heros over night.

Lightning you are to stay at the back and crash letting the plod run you down if they chase us, do this and i assure you a place in Da family...
Bo

Don Tom

[nodrog]

.....i vote speedo's.

nathan is that you?

[SwanTiger]

Lightning you are to stay at the back and crash letting the plod run you down if they chase us, do this and i assure you a place in Da family...
Bo


I'll do it for da family.

[Timber020]

I have a problem with being italian based, frankly they suck. They live with there parents until they are middle aged, couldnt win a war ever, and generally are only good at making things pretty.

Let this be known you soft cock eyeties, the wellington syndicate will be made up of a truly multicultural mix of the Irish, dutch, southafrican and whoever wishes to join our ranks. Sure we will spend most of the time at war with each other but at least we wont kiss or hug each other when we meet, unless we are real pretty.....and we will have casual fridays.

Whose in?

[Deano]

My name is "Alphonso the Greaser"

WTF does a greaser do anyway ?

Grease people ?

[tomthepohm]

Well apart from making all the good clothes, Ferrari, Mazarati, Alfaromeo, Buggatte, Fiats, Benellis, Aprilias, Cagivas and Ducatis i am sure the Irish and south Africans have alot to offer...Like Lepricorns and caffas...Hmmm Not too sure you are on the right track there mate.

[Lou Girardin]

Dom, with respect, it is Campino Doverio

It's actually Benny (Il Finocchio) Doverio.

[Lou Girardin]

I have a problem with being italian based, generally are only good at making things pretty.



Of course you'd have a problem with this.

[Str8 Jacket]

Mafioso Name (http://gangstaname.com/mafia_name.php)


hehe, mine's Stella Crackhead! Woohooo!

[Colapop]

I have a problem with being italian based, frankly they suck. They live with there parents until they are middle aged, couldnt win a war ever, and generally are only good at making things pretty.

Let this be known you soft cock eyeties, the wellington syndicate will be made up of a truly multicultural mix of the Irish, dutch, southafrican and whoever wishes to join our ranks. Sure we will spend most of the time at war with each other but at least we wont kiss or hug each other when we meet, unless we are real pretty.....and we will have casual fridays...
Don Pom I see there may be a "settling in" period for some of our members in this protectorate. Perhaps there needs to some concrete poured to ensure a solid foundation...
Be assured, the matter is in hand.

[Swoop]

hehe, mine's Stella Crackhead! Woohooo!
Ha ha!
Mines "Twisted Guiseppe Brassi":first:

About right too...

[Lou Girardin]

Don Pom I see there may be a "settling in" period for some of our members in this protectorate. Perhaps there needs to some concrete poured to ensure a solid foundation...
Be assured, the matter is in hand.

It's just normal jockeying for control of il famiglia.
Usually negotiations with a machine gun resolves it fairly quickly.
I'll volunteer to be Capo di Tutti Capi if you like.

[tomthepohm]

The gang is growning from strength to strength. However there are ways and means to join, if you are part of the south coast Syndicate you must bling Colapop and he will consider your application. As for the North Bling me and i will do my best to find you a job worthy of your skills.

Have desided our uniform will have to be two piece bike leathers, i tryed my one piece and i cant get the brick out in time to throw at the patrol cars.

We also need a cick ass logo for the back of our Helmets.

Don Tom

[tomthepohm]

Haha, no red bling is no good, that person trying to be funny, Probably TL. Bastard.

[vtec]

...
Have desided our uniform will have to be two piece bike leathers, i tryed my one piece and i cant get the brick out in time to throw at the patrol cars.
...
Don Tom

As far as a two piece goes, I assume this is more than acceptable? http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=690079&postcount=53

I've even got my gun holding position for looking the coolest down pat.

[Lou Girardin]

Who's the brains behind this thing again?

[Ozzie]

May I offer my services as the liaison with our Australian affiliates, trans Tasman rivalry, and I could possibly help finding a place in between to put those with concrete shoes.

Although not Italian; could be known as Davey Jones.

[aff-man]

I am in........

[Colapop]

Who's the brains behind this thing again?
The Ministry Of Bikers...

[Colapop]

The gang is growning from strength to strength. However there are ways and means to join, if you are part of the south coast Syndicate you must bling Colapop and he will consider your application. As for the North Bling me and i will do my best to find you a job worthy of your skills.

Have desided our uniform will have to be two piece bike leathers, i tryed my one piece and i cant get the brick out in time to throw at the patrol cars.

We also need a cick ass logo for the back of our Helmets.

Don Tom
Don, I have with your permission, commissioned the following clothing to be supplied to our, lets us say, fairer featured members...

[Korea]

I am Dirty Carlito "Donkey Punching" Sanchezini :shifty:

[tomthepohm]

Good work Colapop. The Don is happy with the name M O B and promots you from south side distrebution to second in comand, this means should the Don end up in the slammer or heavn forbid gets wacked you have my permission to take charge.

Affman, you have to have a ganksta name, or you not in bruv.

[nodrog]

I am Dirty Carlito "Donkey Punching" Sanchezini :shifty:

isnt "ass" another name for a donkey? dude, thats just wrong!

[tomthepohm]

Gordy, can we have the Street Majic as or drive by bike...

[nodrog]

Gordy, can we have the Street Majic as or drive by bike...

sure can, thats if TL lets me borrow it again :ar15: :ar15:

[acewheelie]

As far as a two piece goes, I assume this is more than acceptable? http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=690079&postcount=53

I've even got my gun holding position for looking the coolest down pat.

Heya, thata pose more likea James Bond thanna Capi Blondini...

[Colapop]

Gordy, can we have the Street Majic as or drive by bike...
Don, as much respect as I have for you, I must question, respectfully, your reason for asking permission (as it appears) of this individual? Surely it would be in his best interests to offer all the services that you may require of him.....

[Lou Girardin]

I am Dirty Carlito "Donkey Punching" Sanchezini :shifty:

Sorry, no latinos.

[tomthepohm]

What you say is true however the street Majic was a gift, from the Don for a family Whack. It is there fore respectful to ask, and i am sure the answer would be yas boss anyway.

Bo
Tom

[aff-man]

.

Affman, you have to have a ganksta name, or you not in bruv.

Just call me jimmy "Bones" Delasante'.
I specialise in pest removal:blip:

[Biohazard]

Sweet im in...we can use my Audi as the Gangster mobile...will get them windows blacked out :weird:

Just the excuse I needed...

When can we start doing the drive bys then ?????:ar15:

Call me Jimmy 2 Guns :2guns:

:innocent:

[acewheelie]

We could get that cop sheila/ prositute to run our girlies, anyone gives the girlies a hard time she can arrest them!!

[Colapop]

Colapop you have the green light for whack...

Meeting still on for south dock, in future do not advertise meeting places fuck witt or i will have to cap you personally,:2guns: your gang cred just dropped.

lol:rofl:
Don as you have previously stated there are things that should not be mentioned in polite company. This "Whacking" that you speak of is a term you are aware could encourage shall we say prying eyes to focus their attention on on business dealings.

I have been respectful so far Don, unfortunately you must realise that a sydicate such as this requires strong leadership and decisive action. In this case I would say to you

"You're fired" :ar15: :ar15: :ar15: :ar15:

Guido, cleanup on aisle 1.....

[Biohazard]

f**k 'em all, knee cap the lot of 'em :2guns:

[tomthepohm]

Bring it on mo fooos...:zzzz: :weird: :Oi: :ar15: :ar15: :ar15: :hitcher:

[Lou Girardin]

Yay, gang war.
From an idea to mass murder in 78 posts.

[tomthepohm]

Shut up byatch, this is no murder its a clensing, out with the old, get some:drinkup: :2guns: :violin:

[Colapop]

Consider this offer wisely Don Pom;
I offer you territory which is situated North of the Bombays. In this territory you may distribute bricks as you see fit, you may employ the staff you require to achieve this distribution. The bricks I will sell to you for a nominal price. In return for this kind offer you will provide 20% of all revenue and provide untroubled thoroughfare for all staff in my employ. If this offer is not to your liking you may come to my place of business and discuss further options. I expect to hear from you before the end of the day.
Don Palminero.

[tomthepohm]

If you disrespect me you disrespect the family. I am deploying the Norfland massive to strick fear in to the hearts of the southern woofters.

You have come far but a Don you are not your feeble atempt at a co will be supressed with maximum force.

The norfland crew will use their cunning and high intelect to bring about your demise.

:scooter: :headbang: :2guns: :2guns: :violin:

[acewheelie]

Consider this offer wisely Don Pom;
I offer you territory which is situated North of the Bombays. In this territory you may distribute bricks as you see fit, you may employ the staff you require to achieve this distribution. The bricks I will sell to you for a nominal price. In return for this kind offer you will provide 20% of all revenue and provide untroubled thoroughfare for all staff in my employ. If this offer is not to your liking you may come to my place of business and discuss further options. I expect to hear from you before the end of the day.
Don Palminero.

Don Chianti here (hic,) stay outa the westa side... itsa mine.....
Liugi go getta the chcago piano, and another glassshh... hic

[The_Dover]

The norfland crew will use their cunning and high intelect to bring about your demise.
:scooter: :headbang: :2guns: :2guns: :violin:

Now that's just taking this fantasy too far.:doobey:

[Colapop]

Don Pom, it is saddening to see you have refused my generous offer. As is the case in these matters when you turn out the light the cockroaches come out to play. Unfortunately there are a few that will have to be terminated with extreme predjudice to provide an example to others who may decide that there is an opportunity for them.

[Timber020]

Oh shit, im in trouble, my Irish hit crew started digging a hole to hide some bodies and nobody told them to stop. The rain drowned them all. Poor misguided paddies. If it wasnt for the South Africans looking for someone called "kaffa" to dig the hole for them, they could have been gone to. I just had a bunch of poms join. They seem great, but insist that if the paddys find any potatoes that they get half, and until then they are on strike.

[Ixion]

The really is a remarkably odd thread. Bizarre even.

[SwanTiger]

I have been instructed by the Don to pay more attention to this discussion. I will do as the Don wishes.

[SwanTiger]

Don, I have arranged insurance for da family. I hope you approve.

<img src="http://kezfun.net/pictures/77/b_mafia_plate.jpg">

[Ixion]

I have been instructed by the Don to pay more attention to this discussion. I will do as the Don wishes.

I guess it's going to get odder. This "Don" of whom you speak, is that Don Brash ?

[SwanTiger]

I guess it's going to get odder. This "Don" of whom you speak, is that Don Brash ?

No, Don Brash is the sworn enemy of the M.O.B, my guys know this Brash, he is workin' with the Triads. A filthy traitor he is.

[Swoop]

Tom the Don, this M.O.B. our "great unwashed" was originally to be an Auckland crime syndicate, but appears to be growing at a very impressive pace. The Norfland and Taranaki massives are growing stronger by the day and great gains are being made in the Wairarapa.
Oh great Don, whom we faithfully support 100%, what do you see in our future for the M.O.B.?
I wait for your wise guidance, and will go and clean the concrete mixer and tommyguns in the meantime.

P.s. Don. Could you look into those black shoes with the white tops? The fashions of the '20's will come back in again, and we should be leading from the front on this issue...

Guiseppe.

[tomthepohm]

Swoop good to hear the Naki crew are on board, as for the white topped shoes, i think it would be a bad idea as i already find problems getting the blood of our enemies of my Sidis.

I think the Wellington massive have gone underground through fear of reprisals.

keep the concreat flowing my son.
Don Tom

[Colapop]

Guiseppe, I will overlook your ignorance this time. Don Tom and I (Don Palminero) have come to an "agreement". In the interests of good business we have agreed that the Pom family shall control the territory that is north of the Bomaby hills. The Bandit clan has been given control of all territory south of the shipping channel, I 'oversee' all other territory between. All communications with regard to business enterprise within these territory's should be directed to the Appropriate Don or his boys.
Be aware that the southern Don is known to deal with matters in a way that is not pleasant. Our northern friends have been known to employ certain fencing materials to show their displeasure. I consider that I am a generous man so I will overlook your ignorance this time.

[Colapop]

Don Tom, do not consider that my silence is a lisence for you to make plans in territories that do not concern you. Those who play with fire may find themselves cooling their heels in concrete

[BeakerRAT]

Don Tom, I seek your guidance and wisdom. Don Palminero and his family have claimed control of the central territory; does this include the Eastside – Corovillage and the loop back to the Big A? The Eastside has been a very lucrative area for our activities, many of the northern families have strong ties to the area. As always, respect and please accept a little gift from my family and myself – bling!

Benny the Rat

[tomthepohm]

Don Palminero, i am happy that you have come out of hidding to voice your opinion, but for you to say the South of the Bombays is your terretory is wrong! I realise this has just been a typing error on your behalf.

As originally laid out in the plan to criminalise NZ, you (Don Palminero) are responsable for Wellington and Wellington only. Distrebution and raketerring.

I do not wish to repeat myself on this matter and i am sure you will deal to your secutery in any way you see fit.

You must earn the respect of da family before you can take on any more responsabilities.

Don Tom

PS have started up a suply chain with our Tie cuzzis.

[tomthepohm]

Benny the Rat, as of yet the East side is untapped terretory, there is no Don there, although the Wellington Syndicate would like to have controle.

I sugest you rally your thuggs, and aply for family acceptence.

[BeakerRAT]

Benny the Rat, as of yet the East side is untapped terretory, there is no Don there, although the Wellington Syndicate would like to have controle.

I sugest you rally your thuggs, and aply for family acceptence.

Respectfully Don Tom, you would be the best guy for the job, the Eastside should be under your control and part of the Northern territory as it always has been. Perhaps appointing a 'made guy' as captain of the area, would allow you freedom to deal with other matters.

[tomthepohm]

It was my intention Benny to name a made man for this area, it will ofcourse come under the control of the Auckland crime syndicate.

However i am unable to establish what benefits a made man would bring to the party as appossed to being controlled by Auckland.

[BeakerRAT]

As there is no Don controling the Eastside, it would be in your interests to take over this area. As it is the.....err shall we say the ahhh 'playground' for the boy's from the Auckland area, this would make sense that it is under you control. I was concerned that the area had been claimed by Don P, when it is rightfully yours. Allowing a 'made guy' to captain this area would allow you to deal with more important matters. As always all 'business' ventures in the Eastside should be sanctioned by by you.

Respect,
Benny the Rat

[Swoop]

Guiseppe, I will overlook your ignorance this time. Don Tom and I (Don Palminero) have come to an "agreement". In the interests of good business we have agreed that the Pom family shall control the territory that is north of the Bomaby hills...
These "Bomaby Hills" you speak of. Is this where the bodies are buried?

My ignorance is not feigned, being naturally gifted with stupidity I cannot recall places, times, or names to the Feds.

My alliegence is to the family and the one and only Don (who I have deliberately forgotten his name, so I will only refer to him as "Don").



Be aware that the southern Don is known to deal with matters in a way that is not pleasant...
I have heard of these ways and am not pleased.
Forcing a person to watch an ENTIRE hour of Coronation St is barbaric!

[Colapop]

What has been said has been said Don Tom. The past is the past. Unfortunately there have been said things that cannot be unsaid or be forgiven. You disrespect my family in my own house and then you try to allocate my resources and territories??!!?? I am "Cosa Nostra" and as such have the right to determine your fate. You call yourself Mafia, Mafia is the consciousness of one's own worth and you have no worth. You are dead to me.

[Swoop]

What has been said has been said Don Tom. The past is the past. Unfortunately there have been said things that cannot be unsaid or be forgiven. You disrespect my family in my own house and then you try to allocate my resources and territories??!!?? I am "Cosa Nostra" and as such have the right to determine your fate. You call yourself Mafia, Mafia is the consciousness of one's own worth and you have no worth. You are dead to me.
Don Don,
Say the word and he will swim with the fishes. I hear Kelly Tarltons is open to these ideas for a modest gratuity...

[tomthepohm]

Don P, you have seeled your own fait, i was going to give you option of piece. This is now however too late as you disrespect for the Pom familly hs hit an alltime low.

I am massing the troops, i hope for your sake you have enough men and resorces as the Auckland massive and ajoining syndicates far exseed the small Town of Wellington.

I have a white rose for you and each of your family members.

I will lose no sleep over this dessision, as your disrespect cannot go unpunished, i have the fence wire ready, and the street magic is ready to go.

Bo:scooter: :Pokey: :Oi: :ar15: :2guns: :bash: :brick: :puke: :rofl: :violin:

[Colapop]

I consider your actions, rash at best. There are Northern Allies that have not yet been spoken of. Speak not their names and know their faces only at the time of your passing.
It is now that your last good byes shall be heard.

[SwanTiger]

Don, as you requested, the hit on Don P was successful, although my guys tell me he may of survived.

[Colapop]

Rumours of my demise have been greatly over-exagerated.

[Dadpole]

Don Palminero is recovering in the care of his loyal Wairarapa allies. As we speak Cowpoos is turbocharging his electric cattle prod, and will wreak a terrible vengance.

Al Fresco