Neighbor troubles

[SARGE]

I have a problem.. long story..

I moved into my house a few years ago.. turns out it was on the market due to a very bitter divorce dispute..The family of the people involved live in the surrounding houses, so I am the only non-family member in the neighborhood. Worst part is they all work for competing shops..

Now at first.. there was definite bitterness.. how could I come in here and move into the house that was in their family for years??.. then it started escalating .. they let their dogs shit in my yard.. their kids throw bottle rockets and fireworks on my property and generally tear shit up in my yard.. my kids have gone beyond scared and are now pissed off..

I have consulted the neighborhood watch and called the police.. I’ve had other neighbors try and mediate between us to no avail.. thankfully , I have a big mate who watches my back.. I installed security lights and put up a big fence but they still keep screwing with me.. and now some of their mates are getting in on the act..


My dilemma: I am capable of dealing with this, but it’s not going to be PC or pretty…do I send troops into Southern Lebanon, or just keep returning fire?

[Hitcher]

You could have a conversation with them along the lines of: "Buy me out, or leave me alone."

[**R1**]

go with the troops...
always better to sort these things quickly

[The_Dover]

You mean they don't fear the US Marine Corp?

I thought it was "fight fire withfire"?

What are they coconuts? honkies?

[SARGE]

go with the troops...
always better to sort these things quickly


yup... thats what im thinking

[Dooly]

Go full bore in with all guns, as usual with pricks like that they'll back down.
Dont let it fester.
The only prob is that if they are loser dole types it can do your head in worrying about what they are doing to your place while you're at work.

Thats why I love the country, cant be fucked with neighbours and all that stuff.

[Paul in NZ]

yup... thats what im thinking

Problem is - there is never any end to it and no matter what you do, some folks are just too damn stupid to realise they are beat.

Sooner or later you will have to negotiate a truce and find out what the matter is. Either that or just move on, it's not worth the potential jail time.

[The Pastor]

Start your bike up every 2hrs after 10pm till 7am.

[MSTRS]

Damn! Might be best to let them know you will sell at the right price. Have them fight each other to buy you out.

[ghost]

Send in the ground troops, dont forget air support and be prepaired to use tactical nukes if the neighbouring country's start to cause trouble

[SpankMe]

They will continue to be petty so long as you continue to take it. I say find the biggest fucker who the rest fear/look up to and wipe the floor with him. The only thing these people respond to is fear.

[Finn]

Hey Sarge,

Swing by our parts department on the way home from work and pick up some testicles.

[oldrider]

Jesus Christ used parables to make his point of view understandable to the masses.

Looks to me like Sarge is using local scenario to emphasise his points about the Middle East and you are all just walking straight into it.

Well done Sarge it makes a welcome change to the same old same old and it's not even in the name of "God". :blip:

[Squeak the Rat]

Damn, I was going to say that you didn't buy the house, your stole it so serves you right.....

[placidfemme]

They will continue to be petty so long as you continue to take it. I say find the biggest fucker who the rest fear/look up to and wipe the floor with him. The only thing these people respond to is fear.

yep knock the head off and the body goes limp...

[skelstar]

They arent likely to be reasonable if anger escalates. Findout what the real issue is maybe?

I know youd rather go in with guns blazing eh? :)

[bobsmith]

I say land mines!!!! land mines!!!! then you can terrorise anyone who chooses to move into the neighborhood for decades....

[SARGE]

so lemme get this straight .. its OK to defend myself and my family?? even if those trying to help get caught in the middle..??

[The_Dover]

Jesus Christ used parables to make his point of view understandable to the masses.

Looks to me like Sarge is using local scenario to emphasise his points about the Middle East and you are all just walking straight into it.

Well done Sarge it makes a welcome change to the same old same old and it's not even in the name of "God". :blip:

You mean to say Sarge is Jesus?

No wonder so many sycophants on here worship him :rofl:

[ManDownUnder]

You mean to say Sarge is Jesus?

No wonder so many sycophants on here worship him :rofl:

No but he must be from Cantabury...

[ManDownUnder]

To answer the question...

Try everything reasonable, try to resolve it, but if the chips keep falling the other way.... escalate it.

Tell them to keep their friends out - and you'll keep your friends out. Tell them you don't want to reduce things to a glass topped carpark.

I hate to say it, but might is right. When the law is incapable of resolving things, and decency (or otherwise) on both parts fails... him with the biggest bang wins... either by threat demonstration or application.

The Threat generally leads to an arms race though - as history has (hopefully) taught us...

[SARGE]

You mean to say Sarge is Jesus?

No wonder so many sycophants on here worship him :rofl:


fuck...wait till zed gets wind of that one

[Macktheknife]

Sorry Sarge but I am unclear exactly what the issue is, are the neighbours hassling your kids or damaging your property?
Are they threatening your family or just being wankers?
Is it time for a KB 'party' at your place? Im in, can I bring my large and scary friends?

Edit: you could always try the mediation route and try to settle the dispute amicably, so all parties can go home as friends and have a hangi and a beer together. It should only take a couple of years and several thousand dollars for consultation with local iwi and stuff.

[The_Dover]

fuck...wait till zed gets wind of that one

Do you think it would convince him to buy a Suzuki? God's own motorcycle.

[Squeak the Rat]

Make sure you blow up their house when the cops are inside!

[SARGE]

Sorry Sarge but I am unclear exactly what the issue is, are the neighbours hassling your kids or damaging your property?
Are they threatening your family or just being wankers?
Is it time for a KB 'party' at your place? Im in, can I bring my large and scary friends?

Edit: you could always try the mediation route and try to settle the dispute amicably, so all parties can go home as friends and have a hangi and a beer together. It should only take a couple of years and several thousand dollars for consultation with local iwi and stuff.


no Mack.. they are definatly threatening and damaging.. thats why i put the fence up.. i tried mediation over several years..didnt work..at least my big mate is still helping out ...

[The_Dover]

Is that your big retarded mate with the velcro trainers that got his ass kicked by a little kung fu zipperhead motherfucker?

[Colapop]

Although this may ignite a whole racial debate - what particular persuasion are they? It makes a difference as to my response....

[Lou Girardin]

Set fire to houses two streets away. That'll learn 'em.
They'll respect you for it too.

[SARGE]

Although this may ignite a whole racial debate - what particular persuasion are they? It makes a difference as to my response....



i think Swedish.. maybe Norweigen

[Squeak the Rat]

Kidnap people off the street and lock them up for three years out of reach of the law, because they just might be involved in some of the incidents........

[idb]

Putting the fence up was a good idea, did your big mate help pay for it?
What you should have done was put your fence up over your property boundary onto the neighbour's property, that way you could have some of their best vege gardens and fruit trees etc.

When they get a bit shitty about it and throw stuff over the fence and kick your rubbish bins that's when it would be reasonable for you to set fire to their houses.

[Ixion]

their kids throw bottle rockets and fireworks on my property and generally tear shit up in my yard.

"ear, none ov dis. I'm da geezer wiv the shop up the road what sells them rockets and fireworks. Substantial part of my profit stream they is, don't none of you go interfering, or you'll get some for y'selfs.

And , Sarge, if'n you want to deal to 'em, come see me, I've got HEAPS of stock , rockets, bangers, all sorts , at real good rates.

EDIT: Oops, silly me, forgot to tell y the shop name. Haliburton & Sons, it is.

[ManDownUnder]

"ear, none ov dis. I'm da geezer wiv the shop up the road that sells them rockets and fireworks. Sunbstantial part of my profit stream they is, don't none of you go interfering, or you'll get some for y'selfs.

And , Sarge, if'n you want to deal to 'em, come see me, I've got HEAPS of stock , rockets, bangers, all sorts , at real good rates.

Give dover a new gixxer and send him in ya reckon?

[The_Dover]

"ear, none ov dis. I'm da geezer wiv the shop up the road that sells them rockets and fireworks. Sunbstantial part of my profit stream they is, don't none of you go interfering, or you'll get some for y'selfs.

And , Sarge, if'n you want to deal to 'em, come see me, I've got HEAPS of stock , rockets, bangers, all sorts , at real good rates.


Bloody irish.

[SPman]

Hey Sarge,

Swing by our parts department on the way home from work and pick up some testicles.
You selling yours? Cheap?

[Brett]

Burn your own house down and then say " hah you fockers, now what ya gonna bitch about"...then try and claim the coin from insurance...not too sure how that ties in with your little extended metaphore though...

[kickingzebra]

How to make thier position untenable.
That is the question.

The truth will always out eventually, and the man with truth has power. Bearing that in mind, if you have the big man on your side, you will come out on top.

Unless you piss him off.

Fight hard, but fair, and don't worry about what may or may not make the newspapers.

[SPman]

Fight hard, but fair, and don't worry about what may or may not make the newspapers.
Theres no such thing as a fair fight! Its either all...or nothing!

[Ixion]

Hey Sarge,

Swing by our parts department on the way home from work and pick up some testicles.

'Ere Finn. Stop rabbiting on about selling y'r balls, and get down to Hamihole tonihgt. If they're as big as you claim we can put them to good use

Or are you one of those who just bleat like lambs about the government doing nasty things, but roll over like a good lad for the next shafting?

[idb]

'Ere Finn. Stop rabbiting on about selling y'r balls, and get down to Hamihole tonihgt. If they're as big as you claim we can put them to good use

Or are you one of those who just bleat like lambs about the government doing nasty things, but roll over like a good lad for the next shafting?
Good grief - what's happened to you Ixion?
You used to be such a nice boy..............

[The_Dover]

Good grief - what's happened to you Ixion?
You used to be such a nice boy..............

I think he's on Pee.

[McJim]

This can't be a parable for the Middle East as was suggested earlier coz there was no reference to a bunch of people from another country with no title to the house irrationally gifting it to Sarge after he forcibly squatted in it. I believe he bought it properly.

I must therefore offer what humble advice as to what I would do - I wouldn't get heavy coz they know where you live and you've got kids to think of too. Try to sell the house if you can then once you've got it sold and moved away and they don't know where you live THEN send in the troops.

No harm, no foul. No Witnesses, No crime.

:bash:

[Finn]

Or are you one of those who just bleat like lambs about the government doing nasty things, but roll over like a good lad for the next shafting?

Close, but no cigar. I'm one of those people who bleats like lambs about the government doing nasty things, then finds more interesting ways to not pay tax. Paying tax only encourages bad behaviour.

I was seriously thinking of coming down but have already made other arrangements. Yell out a "BULLSHIT" for me will yah.

[Finn]

Jesus Christ used parables to make his point of view understandable to the masses.

Looks to me like Sarge is using local scenario to emphasise his points about the Middle East and you are all just walking straight into it.

Well done Sarge it makes a welcome change to the same old same old and it's not even in the name of "God". :blip:

With age comes wisdom (or in my case just baldness). You're onto him Oldrider.

[kickingzebra]

Theres no such thing as a fair fight! Its either all...or nothing!

But there is such a thing as an unfair fight, eg labelling combatants as women and children, turning off the water main at their gate in the dead of night, replacing all the 10 amp fusewire in the meterbox with 5 amp etc etc...

I would think that statement would depend strongly on the situation.

Does a good General always keep an ace up his sleeve?

[idb]

This can't be a parable for the Middle East as was suggested earlier coz there was no reference to a bunch of people from another country with no title to the house irrationally gifting it to Sarge after he forcibly squatted in it.
Yeah but maybe he had ancestral links to the property and so can rightfully claim title to it.................erk...what have I done!!!!?

[McJim]

Yeah but maybe he had ancestral links to the property and so can rightfully claim title to it.................erk...what have I done!!!!?
Aw shit - do the Israelis have a Treaty of Waitangi too? That's going to seriously jeopardise the Mediterranean fishin' holiday I had planned.

[Finn]

Yeah but maybe he had ancestral links to the property and so can rightfully claim title to it.................erk...what have I done!!!!?

Yeah, why haven't the Koreans claimed their rights to NZ yet?

[McJim]

:killingme Hey if everyone claimed their ancestral home and returned there we'd all be fighting over the middle east as that's where we all originated from......hey, is everyone trying to reclaim their ancestral land? And I thought it was all about powerbases and oil. God I'm so naive.

[Finn]

:killingme Hey if everyone claimed their ancestral home and returned there we'd all be fighting over the middle east as that's where we all originated from......hey, is everyone trying to reclaim their ancestral land? And I thought it was all about powerbases and oil. God I'm so naive.

Well that explains my big nose.

[kickingzebra]

Well that explains my big nose.

Ain't nothing can quite explain THAT!!

[Finn]

Ain't nothing can quite explain THAT!!

Yeah my mates tease me about it all the time. My girlfriend comforted me about it and said that it wasn't that big and to prove it, try this little experiment. She said that I should put a hand in each of my nostrils. I did, then she said "now clap". I couldn't and she replied "see - told you"

[kickingzebra]

(Nasal nerd Steve Erckle voice)

Thats why my glasses are so big, to hide my nose, snort, aha haha, aha ha..

[mstriumph]

decide what the factions are

join the stronger and assist in the driving out of the weaker [picking up their vacated real estate for a song as you do so]

then, in the joyous aftermath of victory, as you are hailed as a trusted brother and hugged to the communal bosom, strike swiftly, unexpectedly and decisively from the INSIDE, anihilating the victor [and picking up HIS ... yada, yada, yada]

........... put in tenants you can live with

live happily ever after

:sunny:




this wouldn't work in the middle east though ..........

[Macktheknife]

Ain't nothing can quite explain THAT!!
Big fingers????
Air is free?????

[Swoop]

Blow Reville at 0500 each morning and run the Globe and Anchor up the flagpole. Normally gets a reaction from the local inhabitants...

[SARGE]

Blow Reville at 0500 each morning and run the Globe and Anchor up the flagpole. Normally gets a reaction from the local inhabitants...



i already do that bro...

[Lou Girardin]

Why don't you put leaflets in the letterboxes telling them to leave for their own safety, then ambush them down the road a bit.
While you're at it, shoot up the local cop shop too. (Probably sympathisers.

[SARGE]

Why don't you put leaflets in the letterboxes telling them to leave for their own safety, then ambush them down the road a bit.
While you're at it, shoot up the local cop shop too. (Probably sympathisers.


maybe i'll just get a big fuckin dog..

[WRT]

maybe i'll just get a big fuckin dog..

How bout this lil killa??

[Lou Girardin]

maybe i'll just get a big fuckin dog..

Yeah. Call him Jews, sorry, Jaws.

[SARGE]

How bout this lil killa??


is his name Syria?

[Finn]

How bout this lil killa??

Ha, ha, WRT has womans hands.:laugh:

[WRT]

Ha, ha, WRT has womans hands.:laugh:

Yeah, of course! And I took the photo with my teeth ;)

[Colapop]

Aren't the Mongrel Mob for hire these days... They're dogs...

[Scouse]

jews should Just peacfully move out Err I mean yose should Just peacfully move out Sarge

[froggyfrenchman]

Just remember, your big mate hasnt paid his account at the chinese takeaway for a while. His support may not be counted on if they decide to call in the debt




(unless im reading this thread wrong, i am very tired)

[Skyryder]

Seems there's more of them than you. If that's the case retreat............and get them out of your life.


Skyryder

[SARGE]

Seems there's more of them than you. If that's the case retreat............and get them out of your life.


Skyryder


retreat hell.. we just got here ..

[Marmoot]

I have a problem.. long story.....

Since (as one member said) you used parables like Jesus did, my advice is to follow his footstep entirely.

Turn the other cheek :yes: , and allow them to dance on your property....give them the whole nation, and move to greener pastures. Hell, those Israeli jews can simply move to america and control that big nation through economy. More profitable than fighting for land where the grass isn't even looking green in TV.

[SARGE]

Since (as one member said) you used parables like Jesus did, my advice is to follow his footstep entirely.

Turn the other cheek :yes: , and allow them to dance on your property....give them the whole nation, and move to greener pastures. Hell, those Israeli jews can simply move to america and control that big nation through economy. More profitable than fighting for land where the grass isn't even looking green in TV.


yea well.... i have another problem then..


i dont buy the whole Jebus thing to begin with :blip:

give me Valhalla anyday..at least i'll know someone there ...

[Skyryder]

retreat hell.. we just got here ..

That's the spirit. One of my posts way back tells how to make a flame thrower.

Sic em Sarge.:rofl:

Skyryder

[mstriumph]

Yeah. Call him Jews, sorry, Jaws.

.......... call him jew or call him lou - what's the diff??

[WINJA]

have you tried prayer sarge , ask zed and gayhammeboy to pray with you

[Drum]

Do any of your neighbors control large quantities of oil?

Perhaps your big mate knows a smart black chick that could pop over for a chat. If that doesnt work your big mate may have to kick some ass Im afraid.

[SARGE]

have you tried prayer sarge , ask zed and gayhammeboy to pray with you


pray for me WINJA.. im afraid of going to hell... maybe you, me, Zed and Grahamboy can get together in the woods with some drums later..

[enigma51]

I could not be asked to read everyone's posts so might be repeating what everyone is saying.

Fuck e'm send in the army

[Patrick]

Wait til they have a daytime gathering, take an excessive amount of laxatives and empty the bowels just as they are sitting down to dinner, in plain view, on their property. Call it a warning shit... Oops, shot...

[Lou Girardin]

I wouldn't count on your big mate too much. He's tried some property development in the next suburb and is getting his arse kicked. Not to mention picking fights with the local Rug factory and the Korean BBQ shop.
He's going to be a busy lad.

[SARGE]

I wouldn't count on your big mate too much. He's tried some property development in the next suburb and is getting his arse kicked. Not to mention picking fights with the local Rug factory and the Korean BBQ shop.
He's going to be a busy lad.



thats why the US is going after Iran..



NO MORE WAR FOR RUGS!!!!

[acewheelie]

Jesus Christ used parables to make his point of view understandable to the masses.

Looks to me like Sarge is using local scenario to emphasise his points about the Middle East and you are all just walking straight into it.

Well done Sarge it makes a welcome change to the same old same old and it's not even in the name of "God". :blip:

The only thing wrong with the above is that he states that he bought the house, in Palestine the natives were driven off by the Poms, then the invading Euro trash jews from the ghettos in Poland, Russia etc.

The problem lies with the member countries of the EEC, why don't the Israelis and the Arabs get together and bomb Europe, far more fulfilling!

[PuppetMaster]

Rent a bro.....they will sort it out.

[Patrick]

Put in a burn out pad, get all the boyracers over for a "do"...wait for the wind to be going in their right direction. Even charge a couple of $$$ for entry to pay for the cleanup afterward...

Build a urinal on the fenceline that flows directly into their places...

A KB party engine rev contest at 0330hrs, any week night... probably get a noise abatement for 72 hours, then do it again after the 72 hours......

[Lou Girardin]

Or you could offer to shake hands with your left hand.

[carver]

I have a problem.. long story..

I moved into my house a few years ago.. turns out it was on the market due to a very bitter divorce dispute..The family of the people involved live in the surrounding houses, so I am the only non-family member in the neighborhood. Worst part is they all work for competing shops..

Now at first.. there was definite bitterness.. how could I come in here and move into the house that was in their family for years??.. then it started escalating .. they let their dogs shit in my yard.. their kids throw bottle rockets and fireworks on my property and generally tear shit up in my yard.. my kids have gone beyond scared and are now pissed off..

I have consulted the neighborhood watch and called the police.. I’ve had other neighbors try and mediate between us to no avail.. thankfully , I have a big mate who watches my back.. I installed security lights and put up a big fence but they still keep screwing with me.. and now some of their mates are getting in on the act..


My dilemma: I am capable of dealing with this, but it’s not going to be PC or pretty…do I send troops into Southern Lebanon, or just keep returning fire?


personally, i would hold the fort, dont budge, stay where you are, especially if it pisses you off.
second, i would retaliate, without compromise or remorse, but do something fair, i know half the people that post on here would be last in line to ACTUALLY help you, cause its easy sitting here writing this.
some die-hard kiwibikers could cause some havoc in your hood if you let them.
I say i would have a large biker party, bring out the big sound system, blast it out till all hours playing what they dont like to hear...(death/thrash metal is great for that one) some old pantera would be my pick.
smash beer bottles on their property at 2am, lots of singing and yelling etc...
thats all just intimidation, but it could work, just to put them in their place.

my hyo has suffered a starter motor failure due to a leaking seal, i wont be mobile till next week.

it sounds rough, but it may work, think about it. :first:
oh...good luck:rockon:

[carver]

Since (as one member said) you used parables like Jesus did, my advice is to follow his footstep entirely.

Turn the other cheek :yes: , and allow them to dance on your property....give them the whole nation, and move to greener pastures. Hell, those Israeli jews can simply move to america and control that big nation through economy. More profitable than fighting for land where the grass isn't even looking green in TV.

ah...jesus was no pussy, remember that he did stand up for what he belived in, he didnt just bend over and get shafted everytime.... he stood up for the misfits and down and outers, part of the reason he got nailed :sick:

[Indiana_Jones]

Sit on ur deck with a shotgun and if any cats, dogs or kids run on ur lawn, shoot!

Note: be sure to have dueling banjo's playing on a stero at full volume on repeat

-Indy

[Grahameeboy]

I will just pray Sarge.....woods scare me......Cowpoos could be in there.

I reckon you should just have a load of KBers pop round one pm and then see what 'appens.....

[imdying]

Get their youngest school age child, and kidnap him for a week. Inscribe 'you'll be next if you don't fuck off' on his back with a scapel, and dump the body on their door step. Repeat till satisfaction.

[thehollowmen]

Unfortunitally from what I know, only one of the parties moving out really is a solution... otherwise hostilities will go on for years.


Question - who has the lowest drain in the neighbourhood? *evil grin*

Block it with condoms, and it all comes up at their place.

if you can find a dead hedgehog, turn off their water main and put that down where the tap is... Those prickles are vicous and hedgehogs have often have MRSA on their skin.

no.. no .. we shouldn't be vengeful.

Cop shop would be the best bet.

[WINJA]

maybe they dont like canadians sarge

[Timber020]

Your big mate only gives half a shit because your the only house in the street he can stay in thats close enough to the gas station. If it wasnt for the gas station, he wouldnt even pass by to see if you were still alive. He will leave you to it eventually, then your toast.

You didnt buy your house, you showed up as a squatter and built it up with help of your mates. You worked hard to do it but your running out of friends and the whole suburb is turning against you.

[slowpoke]

You mean to say Sarge is Jesus?

No wonder so many sycophants on here worship him :rofl:

Yep, that explains a lot...only in this case maybe it should read
"psycho-phants"....

[SARGE]

maybe they dont like canadians sarge


me neither bro... the only thing worse than a Canadian is a FRENCHEMAN in Canada..

[Kickaha]

maybe they dont like canadians sarge

Canadians? I thought he was Mexican