The MIGHTY EMPIRE

[tomthepohm]

I would like to pay homage to the mighty Empire.

I realise that being a Kiwi makes you feel small and insignificant so i am giving you the oppertunity to thank me and the great nation of England for a job well done on the capture of yet another insignificant country.

I understand it is hard being a third world country and having nothing but ugly women and sheep for your pleasure. But it could be worse at least the UK has all the Nukes so if you get in to a bind they might help you out.

As for the police, crap roads, did i mention ugly women, poor enducation, crap health and massive imbreeding this is a great place to live.

So lets hear it for the empire.

Yeay, god save the Queen.

Lol
Tom

[The_Dover]

Yeay, god save the Queen.

I take it you mean George Michael?

Cos Freddie died a few years back and Barrymore emmigrated to some queer loving third world nation.

[Bend-it]

What have you been smokinG?

[tomthepohm]

The usual...

[Ixion]

Very good to see another Monarchist. But you are aware that she is a usurper, with no legitimate claim to the throne.

Our right and LAWFUL Sovereign is His Gracious Majesty, Francis I, by the Grace of God King of England and Ireland, King of Scotland, King of France, Duke of Normandy, ruler of the British Dominions beyond the Seas, Lord of Man, Defender of the Faith.

God Save the King.

[kickingzebra]

Hey, we don't have ugly chicks!!

(Pass the harpoon, thar she blows!!)

[Lou Girardin]

Yeah, the chicks are ugly. That's why they stoop to shagging Poms.

[SwanTiger]

fuck the queen !!

[The_Dover]

i did, that's why I had to flee the cuntry

[Ixion]

That's what Maurice says. You must have a lot in common.

[Lou Girardin]

fuck the queen !!

And a dozen courtiers were crushed in the stampede.

[Finn]

Well actually Tom, in typical English fashion, you did a half arsed job. The moories still think we're at war and continue to rape and pillage. However, I agree with everything else you said.

[tomthepohm]

On ya, Fin...

[boomer]

fuck the queen !!

Wash ya mouth out and be grateful to the fact we colonised you, riff raff!!!


Well said Tom.. here here!!!

[tomthepohm]

Boomer, Swanny is young and not that bright, dont blame him just his actions.

Where do you live again swanny???

[SwanTiger]

Where do you live again swanny???

<img src="http://www.suncabo.com/Graphics/resorts/riu-palace/pics/riu-front.jpg">

Tell your mum to come over :blip:

[Finn]

Tell your mum to come over :blip:

I thought you were an Arab.

[Karma]

Freddie died a few years back.

LIES!! Freddy never died, he just couldn't stand Brian Mays hair any longer...

[paturoa]

.... poor enducation....and massive imbreeding ....

so u wur edumcated hear 2

[MisterD]

fuck the queen !!


:clap: One option for sure. O.Cromwell had the right idea...lop the buggers' heads off.

I've come here so I can at least live in a country which gets a mention in it's own national anthem....

[Finn]

:clap: One option for sure. O.Cromwell had the right idea...lop the buggers' heads off.

I've come here so I can at least live in a country which gets a mention in it's own national anthem....

Where the hell have you been lately?

[kickingzebra]

Yeah Palangi!! argueing hasn't been the same without ya!

[Indiana_Jones]

RULE BRITANNIA!

-Indy

[hazard02]

for king and country!

[tomthepohm]

I recon the next time the ABs face England, who lets face it arnt very good, when they do the Huker, or what ever its called, the English should all drop to one knee and pretend to fire muskets.
lol
whahaha

[Ixion]

Morris dancing. The ultimate weapon. And the ultimate insult.

[kro]

Darth Vader destroyed the last good leader of the Empire. In retrospect, his actions may have saved us all.

[Karma]

Darth Vader destroyed the last good leader of the Empire. In retrospect, his actions may have saved us all.

Don't you mean Daft Helmet?

<IMG SRC=http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/2/29/300px-Dark_Helmet_angry.jpg>

[kickingzebra]

DARK helmet,

I see my shcwartz is bigger than yours... and much much brighter....

[Karma]

Yeh, but I have all the merchandise!

[kickingzebra]

Dang! Thats like, must be like.... like, a four to one victory!!

But at least I know how big my arse is!!!

[SwanTiger]

I recon the next time the ABs face England, who lets face it arnt very good, when they do the Huker, or what ever its called, the English should all drop to one knee and pretend to fire muskets.
lol
whahaha

Muskets? boy what rock have you been hiding under, the British only managed to colonise New Zealand due to the deceitful treaties established.

Then came along KFC and social welfare, the Maori were defeated.

[marty]

maybe the treaty was a weapon of war, that was not recognised as such.

a story like that eminates from the SAS e & e files, where a sas member was captured by the 'enemy' and taken to whangaparoa for interrogating. after 3 days straight, he was told that he was all done, that the interrogation was over, and that he could now tell them how he escaped, what his secrets were etc. he did so, thinking he was safe, however he forgot the password, it was never said by the 'enemy', and he spilled the beans, only to find that he failed the test........the telling that the interrogation was over was just another form of interrogation - through trickery.

[The_Dover]

maybe the treaty was a weapon of war, that was not recognised as such.

a story like that eminates from the SAS e & e files, where a sas member was captured by the 'enemy' and taken to whangaparoa for interrogating. after 3 days straight, he was told that he was all done, that the interrogation was over, and that he could now tell them how he escaped, what his secrets were etc. he did so, thinking he was safe, however he forgot the password, it was never said by the 'enemy', and he spilled the beans, only to find that he failed the test........the telling that the interrogation was over was just another form of interrogation - through trickery.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT?

[Karma]

Wish someone made a treaty so that I can stay home and eat KFC... fuck that'd be sweet.

[The_Dover]

i just finished kfc.

i bet i've got the shits tomorrow

[SwanTiger]

maybe the treaty was a weapon of war, that was not recognised as such.

a story like that eminates from the SAS e & e files, where a sas member was captured by the 'enemy' and taken to whangaparoa for interrogating. after 3 days straight, he was told that he was all done, that the interrogation was over, and that he could now tell them how he escaped, what his secrets were etc. he did so, thinking he was safe, however he forgot the password, it was never said by the 'enemy', and he spilled the beans, only to find that he failed the test........the telling that the interrogation was over was just another form of interrogation - through trickery.

I whole heartedly disagree with any correlation between the two and I curse you for suggesting such bullshit, I curse you with winning Lotto and 30 virgins upon your death.

Personally, it is my opinion that the treaty of WHYTUNGEE is a bit like signing forms for finance in todays modern age. Basically, you think you are conducting a transaction with a business, when in reality it is just a formal way of stealing money from you.

Then your financed article gets repossed.

[marty]

i've often wondered when the poms realised they couldn't beat the maori with guns, then they simply changed tack, and instead of taking their lands by force, took it by surreptitious means...

[dawnrazor]

BRITS OUT...THEY WHINGE TOO MUCH, ACTUALLY BRITS IN...THEY MAKE THE REST OF US IMMIGRENTS (sic.) LOOK GREAT, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. OH YES, FUCK THE QUEEN INDEED AND THE POPE TOO (JUST TO BE SAFE).

[marty]

THAT'S what the fuck i meant!

[SwanTiger]

i've often wondered when the poms realised they couldn't beat the maori with guns, then they simply changed tack, and instead of taking their lands by force, took it by surreptitious means...

I believe you might have a valid point there, Marty. I am being serious.

However, I propose that we debate this topic in more depth, how about 6 PM Friday at at KFC Mangere East (Mang. East Shopg Ctr, Massey Rd), I hear they have free Sky TV available there.

[The_Dover]

mate, do you even speak english??

[The_Dover]

at KFC Mangere East (Mang. East Shopg Ctr, Massey Rd), I hear they have free Sky TV available there.

iS THAT THe TRaDIToNAL mAOrI REstAUrANt??

[marty]

well they did it with hong kong, but the chinese were a bit more switched on, and insisted on a finite lease period.

[Swoop]

I recon ... when they do the Huker, or what ever its called, the English should all drop to one knee and pretend to fire muskets.
I thought that pointy ball "teams" did the hooker... whoever she may be...:blip:

[Lias]

I'm a fairly ardent monarchist, but even I've still never really forgiven the crown for signing the fucking treaty.. Should have never signed it, and crushed the locals ala abos/american indians.
Would have saved this country a shitload of $$$ and liberal white guilt.

[Ixion]

Is it not rather interesting that of the two proclaimed ardent monarchists, one is a Communist and the other a (uh what are you Mr Lias) - very right wing anyway. and both detest the bloody treaty. What does that prove. Dunno , except that you obviously have to be EXTRAORDINARILY intelligent and ASTONISHINGLY sexy to be a monarchist.

[Finn]

Would have saved this country a shitload of $$$ and liberal white guilt.

I don't feel any guilt at all. None what so ever. I've only ever bashed one maori in my life and that felt quite good actually.

[Zed]

Hey Tom, didn't you tell me the other day that you WEREN'T homesick!? :violin:

Ciao

[Ixion]

I don't feel any guilt at all. None what so ever. I've only ever bashed one maori in my life and that felt quite good actually

Are you asking us to believe that you are a liberal? Like Helen Clark? (Figures. Prolly wanks off to fantasies of Helen )

[Karma]

What does that prove. Dunno , except that you obviously have to be EXTRAORDINARILY intelligent and ASTONISHINGLY sexy to be a monarchist.

That or inbred...

The monarchy are a waste of space. They do nothing for anybody, there is widespread belief in the UK that when the Queen dies there will be no monarchy. Charles is a complete joke and neither of the two princes wants the job.

Wait for the queen to die, then tell the rest of them to fuck off up to scotland and stay there, let the scots pay for them for a change.

[Ixion]

You would prefer President Tony Blair?

[jazbug5]

Wait for the queen to die, then tell the rest of them to fuck off up to scotland and stay there, let the scots pay for them for a change.

Can't we just turn them into pies or scarecrows, or something even vaguely useful?

(And we won't mention the North Sea Oil etc etc etc, hmmm?)

[nodrog]

.... I've only ever bashed one maori in my life and that felt quite good actually.

I take it she wouldnt cook your eggs?

[kickingzebra]

I don't feel any guilt at all. None what so ever. I've only ever bashed one maori in my life and that felt quite good actually.

I take it you didn't go to school in NZ!!
What shall we do this lunch time? I know, lets try and break a flet nosed blecks nose, before they break ours!!
Racial tension and 10 year olds, phew, what a mix!!

[Finn]

I take it she wouldnt cook your eggs?

No he wouldn't stop crying at bed time.

[kickingzebra]

No he wouldn't stop crying at bed time.

Twas you that broke the legs!

Lucky the locals didn't know you had a bob or two, they would have been bludging smokes... Au Bay

[Finn]

I take it you didn't go to school in NZ!!
What shall we do this lunch time? I know, lets try and break a flet nosed blecks nose, before they break ours!!
Racial tension and 10 year olds, phew, what a mix!!

We don't have schools in NZ. We have an instituion that mass produces brainless mediocrity.

The truth is I caught this fulla stealing something in a shop. I confronted him and he went for me.

[Qkkid]

i just finished kfc.

i bet i've got the shits tomorrow
:blip: Maybe you eat kfc for lubricant:killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme

[kickingzebra]

The problems no one wants to confront, least of all the mighty empire!!

Values can't be taught by a school, and lets face it, modern schools are a marxist ideal to wrest control of the children from the parents, and give it to the state.

The same state that spends how much on welfare? vs how much on policing, vs how much on consultation?

Can't trust them with a bees nest, much less a childs education, so chances are the state can't address the racial difficulty.
People got to pull themselves up and out of the shit.

[dawnrazor]

Is it not rather interesting that of the two proclaimed ardent monarchists, one is a Communist and the other a (uh what are you Mr Lias) - very right wing anyway. and both detest the bloody treaty. What does that prove. Dunno , except that you obviously have to be EXTRAORDINARILY intelligent and ASTONISHINGLY sexy to be a monarchist.

and humble too

[Karma]

You would prefer President Tony Blair?

Of course not, but to be honest whoever you put in that position will always end up cheeseing someone off..

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

[PuppetMaster]

You would prefer President Tony Blair?


I thought that George Bush was in charge of the UK now!!!

[dawnrazor]

I thought that George Bush was in charge of the UK now!!!
UK, ozzie, NZ, the UN, the EU...yep that fella must have the cleanest arsehole around from all the political spincter tongueing he gets

[kickingzebra]

GWB is my figurehead, Really its me in charge. Now bow, minions!!!

[Indiana_Jones]

Is it not rather interesting that of the two proclaimed ardent monarchists, one is a Communist and the other a (uh what are you Mr Lias) - very right wing anyway. and both detest the bloody treaty. What does that prove. Dunno , except that you obviously have to be EXTRAORDINARILY intelligent and ASTONISHINGLY sexy to be a monarchist.

Lias sounds like my sort of man lol :first:

-Indy

[Karma]

Lias sounds like my sort of man lol :first:

-Indy

Hmm... guess what they say about the Navy is true eh?

[Indiana_Jones]

Hmm... guess what they say about the Navy is true eh?


<img src="http://www.miller-rayner.co.uk/formal_jackets/images/pic1c.jpg" align="centre" vspace="10" hspace="10">

"All aboard! Baby!"

:first:

-Indy

[Karma]

I thought it was more like...

edit - damn internet linky things...

[Biff]

well they did it with hong kong, but the chinese were a bit more switched on, and insisted on a finite lease period.

A popular misconception in fact, as the Brits only leased the Kowloon peninsula on the main island.

Beats raping and pillaging countries resources using military force to keep the yocals under control I spose.

Yeah - god bless the queen. Without whom I would never have managed to get my hand on a copy of a rare/banned Sex Pistols single.

[tomthepohm]

On ya Biff.

PS, Welsh are a very important part of the mother lands armys, all the mines to clear. Good on them.

Remember the civle defence list goes like this.
First in....

Send in the Irish, no body likes them, and they talk funny (patato)
Australians, dumn and always willing to please
Welsh, hard as nails mop up after the Auzis
Kiwis, there is only about 5 of them in the army and the navy is a joke but if it takes out a few of the enemy then its worth it.
Gurkers chop up any suvivours
English to sit down drink tea and laugh at all the mess. Raa raa

[Lou Girardin]

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Except for George Dubya, absolute power puzzles.

[Magua]

God save the queen, she ain't no human being.

I say we become a republic.

[McJim]

I'd like to congratulate TomthePohm on his choice of new home - I have the greatest respect for Englishmen brave enough to come out here to the 'colonies' coz they get so much abuse. I moved out here just to listen to the abuse they get. It's great!:nya:

I think it's about time we showed some respect to the Monarchy and made the effort to speak the Queen's English, repeat after me "Guten tag mein herr, ich heiss (your name). Wie heiss du? Ich haben eine BMW. Das Honda ist zer gut, ja?":killingme

[boomer]

fuck off.. we won both the wars...

[The_Dover]

don't forget the world cup boomer, we won that too

[McJim]

fuck off.. we won both the wars...
Still got a German Queen though....so who REALLY won?

[boomer]

hey, as long as i dont get colonised or analised i'm a happy camper:bye:

and if we could obliterate the irish, most of north america and any sand jockies that'd be a bonus

[tomthepohm]

Dont forget the Gerris Bommer.

At least English women dont have hairy pitts. Yumm Actung..

[DougB]

My missionary ancestors came to New Zealand in the 1820's to tame the savages so you lot could come.

I apoligize for them - as they did not do a very good job of it. Many of the savages are still untamed.

[Ixion]

Oh, maybe we are related by digestion. Some of my ancestors maybe ate some of yours?

[Magua]

My missionary ancestors came to New Zealand in the 1820's to tame the savages so you lot could come.

The english side of my family came to try and exploit the iron sands. He failed, became a farmer and then pissed it all away. :rockon:

[Lou Girardin]

don't forget the world cup boomer, we won that too

Winning something once isn't anything to brag about.
My ancestors tried to teach yours to wash, they ate the soap.
At least they know what it's for now.
Washing. Once a week whether they need it or not.

[The_Dover]

But Lou, your ancestors are a bunch of teenage boy shagging paedophiles and possibly the most corrupt nation on earth. Worse than Nigeria even.

Not to mention a bunch of pussies when it comes to war.

[Karma]

possibly the most corrupt nation on earth.

I thought that was the Vatacan.

[Lou Girardin]

But Lou, your ancestors are a bunch of teenage boy shagging paedophiles and possibly the most corrupt nation on earth. Worse than Nigeria even.

Not to mention a bunch of pussies when it comes to war.

You're thinking of Greeks. Italians are as hypocritcal about boy shagging as the poms.
And corruption? Have you been following what Blair and his cronies have been up to?
Want to buy a peerage?
Yeah, I suppose Italians aren't much interested in wars they don't believe in. But they did kick the Austrians out in WW1.

[Ixion]

But Lou, your ancestors are a bunch of teenage boy shagging paedophiles and possibly the most corrupt nation on earth. Worse than Nigeria even.

Not to mention a bunch of pussies when it comes to war.


The late Mr hannibal might have a different idea.

I'd say that the Roman legions were probably the most effective armed force that has ever existed.

Maybe why they conquered pretty much the whole known world.

[Lou Girardin]

I thought that was the Vatacan.

That's the most corrupt CITY in the world.
Quite a few boy shaggers there I believe. It must be why so many Poms visit.

[Karma]

That's the most corrupt CITY in the world.

My understanding is that the Vatican is actually a nation state?

[Lou Girardin]

The late Mr hannibal might have a different idea.

I'd say that the Roman legions were probably the most effective armed force that has ever existed.

Maybe why they conquered pretty much the whole known world.

True Ixion, they didn't beat the Celts though. Their short swords meant they had to get too close to them, well within BO range. Apparently the Celts practiced the first chemical warfare.

[The_Dover]

The late Mr hannibal might have a different idea.

I'd say that the Roman legions were probably the most effective armed force that has ever existed.

Maybe why they conquered pretty much the whole known world.

But wasn't he spanish or some kind of dago?

Italy is a pussy country, the best thing they ever produced was lasagne.

[Lou Girardin]

I prefer pasta a'scuitta personally. But puttanesca isn't bad.

[McJim]

True Ixion, they didn't beat the Celts though. Their short swords meant they had to get too close to them, well within BO range. Apparently the Celts practiced the first chemical warfare.
Actually the Romans kicked Celtic Arse big time - it was the Picts or Woad (natives of Scotland) that gave them a hard time - remember this was Britain before the English arrived. The whole of England was Celtic before the Romans - during this period of history the ENGLISH were still living under the rule of romans in their native GERMANY or Northern FRANCE. Hence any true Englishman is half German and half French with a sizable chunk of Danish thrown in.

[Karma]

But wasn't he spanish or some kind of dago?

Italy is a pussy country, the best thing they ever produced was lasagne.

Also Spagetti bolengase (fucked if I can spell it), and lets not forget the delectable Marisa Tomei (http://www.cassiel.net/Galleries3/Singers_Act/images/Marisa_Tomei_1.jpg)

[Ixion]

But wasn't he spanish or some kind of dago?

Italy is a pussy country, the best thing they ever produced was lasagne.


He was Carthaginian. Not dago, maybe classifies as wog. One of the greatest generals in history. he whopped the Romans up, and he whopped them down. Until they finally got their own back , when Scipio Africanus defeated him at Zama. All the Scipios were good soldiers.

[The_Dover]

He was Carthaginian. Not dago, maybe classifies as wog. One of the greatest generals in history. he whopped the Romans up, and he whopped them down. Until they finally got their own back , when Scipio Africanus defeated him at Zama. All the Scipios were good soldiers.

Fuck man, I bet you were there to witness it all as well?

Still, I think italians are a bunch of poofs, cheats and thieves.

Especially Lou.

[SwanTiger]

The late Mr hannibal might have a different idea.

I'd say that the Roman legions were probably the most effective armed force that has ever existed.

Maybe why they conquered pretty much the whole known world.
I'd have to say Churchill was pretty on par with Hannibal in terms of "greatness", if it wasn't for the dynamics of democracy and the British being a pack of homo's Churchill would of written a new chapter in history, not just repeated shit from the past like the clowns Tony Blarrr and Georgie Pie, who are just a few clowns that come to mind.

Towards the late 1800's the French had a pretty good thing going on too, and with such a man as King Louy Douy Philippy Weepy (Louis-Philippe) creating war machines such as the French Foreign Legion ... I'd compare it to a Hannibal / Roman Legions combination. If it wasn't for that fucked in the head old fart of a clown ruling France at the time of DubyaDubya II or whichever war it was, puckering up, France would of come out in a different light, but I don't really know too much about that.

Maybe I'm just being biased 'cos I like dominant old fat white men like Churchill and sexy French woman with long legs and beautiful eyes.

[Lou Girardin]

Fuck man, I bet you were there to witness it all as well?

Still, I think italians are a bunch of poofs, cheats and thieves.

Especially Lou.

Love you too, big boy.

[Lou Girardin]

Actually the Romans kicked Celtic Arse big time - it was the Picts or Woad (natives of Scotland) that gave them a hard time - remember this was Britain before the English arrived. The whole of England was Celtic before the Romans - during this period of history the ENGLISH were still living under the rule of romans in their native GERMANY or Northern FRANCE. Hence any true Englishman is half German and half French with a sizable chunk of Danish thrown in.

OK, my mistake. I can't tell one barely intelligible race from another.
So your average Pom has had German AND French in him?
Explains a lot.

[Ixion]

OK, my mistake. I can't tell one barely intelligible race from another.
So your average Pom has had German AND French in him?
Explains a lot.

I believe Maurice boasts of having had 11 different nationalities in him. Dunno whether he classes as an average Pom, though, he's a bit shy.

[McJim]

OK, my mistake. I can't tell one barely intelligible race from another.
So your average Pom has had German AND French in him?
Explains a lot.
Yep, that's what the history books tell us - and you can't argue with history.

[The_Dover]

I believe Maurice boasts of having had 11 different nationalities in him. Dunno whether he classes as an average Pom, though, he's a bit shy.

Maurice is a kiwi.

Did yousee his book about hsi big OE? "Around the world: in 80 gays"

[tomthepohm]

Haha, well as it happns i am half Italian and half English, so i have the best of both Empires.
haha

[The_Dover]

so what you're saying tom is that you like small boys, can't fight and only wash once a week?

[tomthepohm]

Mate, how can you say that, the Romans invented baths while the English where still rolling in the mud.

As for the fighting, we have done all our fighting 2000 years ago, got nothing to prove, now Italians are lovers not fighters.

Small boys, yea sure....
lol

[Lou Girardin]

Haha, well as it happns i am half Italian and half English, so i have the best of both Empires.
haha

I thought there was a civilising tone to your posts. What do you use the Pommie bit for. Talking to Dover?

[MisterD]

Where the hell have you been lately?

Oh, you know, here an' there, duckin' an' divin'.

Translation: new job, keeping me busy on the road not stuck behind a computer screen all day...

[Jantar]

fuck the queen !!

Now that is one ugly chick. :blip:

[WINJA]

fuck the queen !!
YEAH ID FUCK HER IN THE ARSE THEN COME IN HER MOUTH

[McJim]

YEAH ID FUCK HER IN THE ARSE THEN COME IN HER MOUTH
Good tactical move Winja - practising contraception (kinda) there - we wouldn't want any more offspring from her now would we? Just look at the state of the last batch.

[The_Dover]

and god knows we don't want any fijian blood in there.

they're work shy enough as it is.

[McJim]

and god knows we don't want any fijian blood in there.

they're work shy enough as it is.
Who, The Royal Family or the Fijians?

[The_Dover]

the bloody lot of them