Swoop
4th August 2006, 11:20
When you see a mime fighting those heavy winds, do you ever wonder why he doesn't just get back into his imaginary box?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
Is it illegal to run into a crowded fire and yell "Theater!?"
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at the carpet?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
Does a blind tourist use a sightseeing eye dog?
Is it possible that "Memorex is the name of an all-mime band and those tapes aren't blank after all?
Is there another word for "synonym?"
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
How do you let someone know you've just painted a wet paint sign?
Why did they make the word 'dyslexia' so hard to read?
When two funeral processions meet at an intersection, how do they decide who has the right of way?
Do police sketch artists start out as those guys who outline dead bodies?
Why don't they just make food stamps edible?
To compliment the vest why not some nice bullet-proof slacks?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Is an empty beanbag chair still a chair, or just a giant beanbag?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do DOC staff go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power cuts on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek-, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If a person thinks marathons are superior to sprinting..... is that considered racism?
If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause
Could it be that so many deer get hit on the intestates because they're simply obeying the posted deer crossing signs?
Did the early settlers ever go an camping trips?
Okay, so sticks and stones may break your bones but names can never hurt you. What if someone carved a name in a stone and then threw it at you?
And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" ' in it?
Wouldn't it be smarter to label "top secret" documents something less conspicuous like "Trivial information which would only bore you to tears"?
What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?
How many people thought of the Post-it note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?
Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?
Do you ever get tired of sleeping?
If you were to accidentally eat fake fruit when you threw up would it be that wacky fake vomit?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
Is it illegal to run into a crowded fire and yell "Theater!?"
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at the carpet?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
Does a blind tourist use a sightseeing eye dog?
Is it possible that "Memorex is the name of an all-mime band and those tapes aren't blank after all?
Is there another word for "synonym?"
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them?
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
How do you let someone know you've just painted a wet paint sign?
Why did they make the word 'dyslexia' so hard to read?
When two funeral processions meet at an intersection, how do they decide who has the right of way?
Do police sketch artists start out as those guys who outline dead bodies?
Why don't they just make food stamps edible?
To compliment the vest why not some nice bullet-proof slacks?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Is an empty beanbag chair still a chair, or just a giant beanbag?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Isn't is it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do DOC staff go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power cuts on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek-, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If a person thinks marathons are superior to sprinting..... is that considered racism?
If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause
Could it be that so many deer get hit on the intestates because they're simply obeying the posted deer crossing signs?
Did the early settlers ever go an camping trips?
Okay, so sticks and stones may break your bones but names can never hurt you. What if someone carved a name in a stone and then threw it at you?
And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" ' in it?
Wouldn't it be smarter to label "top secret" documents something less conspicuous like "Trivial information which would only bore you to tears"?
What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?
How many people thought of the Post-it note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?
Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?
Do you ever get tired of sleeping?
If you were to accidentally eat fake fruit when you threw up would it be that wacky fake vomit?