Log in

View Full Version : Anger Management



cruzer
11th June 2004, 09:40
:mad: :buggerd: ANGER MANAGEMENT

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.

I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really
bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.
The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window ...so, I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five."


"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."


Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

NOW, I feel better

Anger management at it's very best.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

shandawg
11th June 2004, 09:54
Classic! :killingme

vifferman
11th June 2004, 09:57
I realised part way into that, that I'd read it before, but it still made me larf.
It IS a classic. :killingme

FzerozeroT
11th June 2004, 10:04
:killingme

Zed
11th June 2004, 10:14
:mad: :buggerd: ANGER MANAGEMENT

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.Yeah that was funny cruzer, thanks.

But seriously now, most of us can't be bothered with all that hassle and take the easy way out by going home and taking out our frustrations on the ones we LOVE. Hmmm...we humans are so contradictory! :wacko:


Zed

k14
11th June 2004, 10:20
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Damn that is classic.

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 10:49
[color=navy]But seriously now, most of us can't be bothered with all that hassle and take the easy way out by going home and taking out our frustrations on the ones we LOVE. Hmmm...we humans are so contradictory! :wacko:

Oh I see Zed, now you speak for all humanity.

Skyryder

James Deuce
11th June 2004, 10:53
Oh I see Zed, now you speak for all of humanity.

Skyryder

I think Zed made a fair (albeit general) point, and it would be a shame to see an inoffensive comment made from a reflective stance used as a way of knocking an entertaining thread off course. Can we keep the personal invective where it belongs in the Religious Ravings thread please?

Cheers

KATWYN
11th June 2004, 10:57
:mad: One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.
The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window ...so, I wrote down his number.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This happened to my Bro in law a few years ago on a stinking hot December
day in Massey...just before christmas, there were NO car parks and my bro and law had been waiting ages ready with his blinker on ready to pull into a car park
(waiting for the person to get seatbelt on, back out etc)

Another guy pulled into the spot that my Bro in law had been waiting ages to get into :mad: Bro got mad got out of his car and went over to the guy that had just pulled into his spot and confronted him.....

When Bro told him he had taken his park the smart arse replied "Oh well, you weren't quick enough were you!" so Bro n law took him by surprise by punching him in the stomach. The guy reacted by folding over in pain

Bro 'n law then walked off leaving the guy still folded over holding his stomach and said "you weren't quick enough were you" and hoped back in
his car and drove off

I'm not one for violence, but I have to admit that guy probably doesnt steal peoples parks anymore

jrandom
11th June 2004, 11:13
When Bro told him he had taken his park the smart arse replied "Oh well, you weren't quick enough were you!" so Bro n law took him by surprise by punching him in the stomach.

As far as I can tell, the guy in question is an annoying prick, and your brother in law is a brain-dead ape.

The original story was funny as hell, though.

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 11:15
I think Zed made a fair (albeit general) point, and it would be a shame to see an inoffensive comment made from a reflective stance used as a way of knocking an entertaining thread off course. Can we keep the personal invective where it belongs in the Religious Ravings thread please?

Cheers

Nothing religious in this thread and I see no persanl invective in my post. As for the fair point? I see little of the 'general contradictions' from posters in this forum and for that matter humanity in general. Actually most of us seem to be consistant in our views. I did see the humerous side of the thread and that is where it would have stayed, however I doubt if many of us actually 'do' take our frustations out on our loved ones as Zed stated. It was for that reason that I responded in the manner that I did. And I make no apology for that.


Skyryder

vifferman
11th June 2004, 11:19
Can we keep the personal invective where it belongs in the Religious Ravings thread please?

Cheers
Yer what?!? I thought insulting each other, flame-baiting, trolling and the like were all part and parcel of any forum?

Um... now lessee...
Jim2, you are a .... um... you are being too much of a pedantrist.
Or summat.

KATWYN
11th June 2004, 11:21
As far as I can tell, the guy in question is an annoying prick, and your brother in law is a brain-dead ape.

The original story was funny as hell, though.

Well he doesnt make a habit of that sort of thing, if thats what
you were thinking. :msn-wink:

He is also a specialized electronics engineer JR. He gets to do "proper
engineering & not just IT" just like you do- So he can't be that brain dead.

BTW, Enough of the insults toward someone that isn't here to defend himself

James Deuce
11th June 2004, 11:31
Yer what?!? I thought insulting each other, flame-baiting, trolling and the like were all part and parcel of any forum?

Um... now lessee...
Jim2, you are a .... um... you are being too much of a pedantrist.
Or summat.


I might borrow that word :)

duckman
11th June 2004, 11:33
As far as I can tell, the guy in question is an annoying prick, and your brother in law is a brain-dead ape.

The original story was funny as hell, though.
Pussy!!! I mean come on. The guy steals your sport after you wait paitently, then just in case he didn't realise you approach him and inform him of his mistake which he mocks you as a reply. I'd f*ckin thump him as well.
I'd take "brain dead ape" over gutless sycophant anyday :calm:

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 11:34
Not much fun in whacking the guy of he lays any charges. Way long tim'a go when I first met the wife and she was working for her sister I used to go and pick her up on Friday nights. (before Saturday trading.) Well to cut a long story short I had been looking for a park driving round the streets for nigh on 30 minutes when I spotted a car about to pull out. I manouvered into postion so that I could back into the park when this bitch squeezed into the park just behind me preventing me from backing in. This was in the days of the local traffic cops and was moved on just a few minutes later. Anyway I found a park and went to get the 'girlfriend and as we left the shop I noticed the 'bitches' car still parked in my spot. Opened up the shop and got a small rag that I shoved up the bitches exhaust. The car was still there Saturday afternoon.

Skyryder

KATWYN
11th June 2004, 11:52
Pussy!!! I mean come on. The guy steals your sport after you wait paitently, then just in case he didn't realise you approach him and inform him of his mistake which he mocks you as a reply. I'd f*ckin thump him as well.
I'd take "brain dead ape" over gutless sycophant anyday :calm:

He's lucky thats all he got, what would have happened if my Brother n law was a psycho with a bat in the vehicle-what would happen to the guy then? I reakon you would have to be a saint to not react to that one :innocent:

Zed
11th June 2004, 11:54
... I doubt if many of us actually 'do' take our frustations out on our loved ones...
Well you must be the perfect husband/father then Skyrider!

Zed
11th June 2004, 12:00
This happened to my Bro in law a few years ago on a stinking hot December
day in Massey...just before christmas, there were NO car parks and my bro and law had been waiting ages ready with his blinker on ready to pull into a car park
(waiting for the person to get seatbelt on, back out etc)

Another guy pulled into the spot that my Bro in law had been waiting ages to get into :mad: Bro got mad got out of his car and went over to the guy that had just pulled into his spot and confronted him.....

When Bro told him he had taken his park the smart arse replied "Oh well, you weren't quick enough were you!" so Bro n law took him by surprise by punching him in the stomach. The guy reacted by folding over in pain

Bro 'n law then walked off leaving the guy still folded over holding his stomach and said "you weren't quick enough were you" and hoped back in
his car and drove off

I'm not one for violence, but I have to admit that guy probably doesnt steal peoples parks anymore
That could be classified as road rage I suppose (or carpark rage?). Seen that happen a few times when guys get into fights over such incidents...not that funny when you see it in the flesh.

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 12:01
Well you must be the perfect husband/father then Skyrider!

Yes he is.

The wife.

duckman
11th June 2004, 12:05
Yes he is.

The wife.
Oh Skyryder, stop pretending to be your wife!!! :killingme

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 12:09
Well you must be the perfect husband/father then Skyrider!

What you fail to see Zed is that I critizise what you post. You on the other hand critizise the person.

Skyryder

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 12:11
Oh Skyryder, stop pretending to be your wife!!! :killingme

He's not.

The wife.

Racey Rider
11th June 2004, 12:29
He's not.

The wife.

Come on...
We know it's you Skyryder.

Your useing the same text font! :p

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 13:02
Come on...
We know it's you Skyryder.

Your useing the same text font! :p

Wrong guys she's was useing the same computer. :whocares:
Nothing personal here lads but if you are going to make claims of who writes what then you need to be sure of what you claim is true. Otherwise you loose all credibility. And for what? The difference here is what you 'think' and what I 'know.'

Skyryder.

Stay sharp Stay cool Stay alive.

Zed
11th June 2004, 13:03
What you fail to see Zed is that I critizise what you post. You on the other hand critizise the person.

Skyryder
What I said about anger management in my first post did not deserve your criticism anyway - get over it will you!

Btw Skyrider, you lied when you said that you criticize the post and not the person! :sneaky2:



Oh I see Zed, now you speak for all humanity.

Skyryder

I see Zed is the current #1 'Disreputable Member Just the sort of thing when you take yourself too serioulsly.

Skyryder

And then these prick complain about us being racist. If this guy is Middle Eastern shove some pork fat inside the car. That'll fix the bastard. Better still report him to Zed.

Skyryder

On this forum you have taken it upon yourself to proselytize your religious beliefs of your own accord, and in doing so shown that you are indeed still a child.

Skyryder.

Remember when I said you are a fraud?? Actually I was wrong. There is another word for this but as one who does not believe in stating the obvious I will refrain from doing so.

You may claim that the bible is your 'authority' but I for one declare that you now have no credibility. If you are unable to be honest with those that you preach to I do not believe that you have the moral right to criticize those of us who believe differently from you.

I have not entirely finished with you yet.

Skyryder


Believe me Zed I do know a Christian when I see or hear one and you're not it no matter how much you proclaim to the world that you are

Skyryder


Not too sure how old you are but ...You are entilted to your your views but if you are going to plead ignorance on this issue is it any wonder your ravings are not taken serioulsy.

<!-- / message --><!-- sig --><!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
Skyryder


Now manage that anger and PLEASE do not start shouting again!


Zed

<!-- / message --><!-- sig --><!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

duckman
11th June 2004, 13:08
Wrong guys she's was useing the same computer. :whocares:
Nothing personal here lads but if you are going to make claims of who writes what then you need to be sure of what you claim is true. Otherwise you loose all credibility. And for what? The difference here is what you 'think' and what I 'know.'

Skyryder.

Stay sharp Stay cool Stay alive.
Just a little teasing SkyRyder - Dont take it all too seriously eh .. ? We still love ya ... Honest. :calm:

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 13:15
What I said about anger management in my first post did not deserve your criticism anyway - get over it will you!

Btw Skyrider, you lied when you said that you criticize the post and not the person! :sneaky2:









Now manage that anger and PLEASE do not start shouting again!


Zed

<!-- / message --><!-- sig --><!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

My my you have been a busy boy. Seems like I am begining to get under your skin. OK Zed I'll back off providing you stop your proselytizeing. Your call.

James Deuce
11th June 2004, 13:23
proselytizeing.

Well I'll be :buggerd: !!

I've nearly seen everything now!

jrandom
11th June 2004, 14:12
he can't be that brain dead.

BTW, Enough of the insults toward someone that isn't here to defend himself

"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent", etc etc.

He still had to drive off without his parking space, didn't he?

duckman
11th June 2004, 14:18
"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent", etc etc.

He still had to drive off without his parking space, didn't he?
"Violence is the last resort when dealing with the incompetent" :moon:

jrandom
11th June 2004, 14:29
"Violence is the last resort when dealing with the incompetent" :moon:

Well, that too.

Perhaps I should apologise to Katwyn about the 'ape' comment. You see, I'm all conflicted and shit on this topic due to my ongoing struggle to contain personal issues about anger and hostility. It bothers me to see or hear about other people blithely disregarding my carefully-built-up internal wall of pseudo-intellectual nonaggression.

Zed
11th June 2004, 14:33
...You see, I'm all conflicted and shit on this topic due to my ongoing struggle to contain personal issues about anger and hostility. It bothers me to see or hear about other people blithely disregarding my carefully-built-up internal wall of pseudo-intellectual nonaggression.
Far out - I wouldn't want to steal your parking space JR!

KATWYN
11th June 2004, 14:35
Far out - I wouldn't want to steal your parking space JR!

:laugh: :laugh: Zed.

KATWYN
11th June 2004, 14:39
Well, that too.

Perhaps I should apologise to Katwyn about the 'ape' comment. You see, I'm all conflicted and shit on this topic due to my ongoing struggle to contain personal issues about anger and hostility. It bothers me to see or hear about other people blithely disregarding my carefully-built-up internal wall of pseudo-intellectual nonaggression.

Well JR, then look at it as, it was a service rendered to all those who can & will not (but really would feel like it in that situation) :laugh:

Oh and you are right...he did have to drive away and lose his car park-point taken

jrandom
11th June 2004, 14:42
Far out - I wouldn't want to steal your parking space JR!

That's why I ride an FXR - there's always *just enough* space for one more.

Matter of fact, the other day at Auckland Uni, there were five other FXRs already in the row of bikes when I parked up at the end of the bike rank outside the gym.

Then, as I waited on the opposite footpath, I saw another FXR pull up and fit in alongside mine.

Eat yer hearts out, Goldwing riders.

Jackrat
11th June 2004, 15:06
That's why I ride an FXR - there's always *just enough* space for one more.

Matter of fact, the other day at Auckland Uni, there were five other FXRs already in the row of bikes when I parked up at the end of the bike rank outside the gym.

Then, as I waited on the opposite footpath, I saw another FXR pull up and fit in alongside mine.

Eat yer hearts out, Goldwing riders.

One little nudge an there's heaps of room for the wing.
After all what's an fxr rider gonn'a do about it.
Certainly nothing up front aye :lol:

jrandom
11th June 2004, 15:25
After all what's an fxr rider gonn'a do about it.
Certainly nothing up front aye :lol:

Hah!

You never know, you might just try that sometime and run into Katwyn's brother-in-law on a loan bike...

KATWYN
11th June 2004, 15:32
Hah!

You never know, you might just try that sometime and run into Katwyn's brother-in-law on a loan bike...

Now , now, you are making him out to be a "big beasty brute" of a man...I mean come on, it was a hot and sticky day that December day (the 24th I think-pre chrissy bah humbug)...thats enuff to push anyone over the edge :devil2: ......look out....He could be anywhere....he may even be in your local supermarket aisle, just waiting for a trolley que jumper....

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 17:08
Zed wrote

You'll back off? Hey man/woman, keep going, because you are just revealing your true self more and more to everyone...I'm in this for the longhaul.

If you choose to nitpick my posts on different threads you will end up falling into the pit you are digging for yourself. I would much rather you keep me on your ignore list!

Btw, what proselytising? Do you even know the meaning of the word?
__________________
Zed And here is me offering an olive branch to you and all you can do is send the above as a private message. Realy Zed. TUT TUT. Oh sorry tut tut. Must not shout. It might come as a surprise to you Zed but I do not use words that I do not know the meaning of. Perhaps if in future you used the principles of tergiverstion to my posts you might just see the light. Now you real are becoming a bit of a bore so will comment no further.

Skyryder

Racey Rider
11th June 2004, 17:39
Wrong guys she's was useing the same computer.
:whocares:
Nothing personal here lads but if you are going to make claims of who writes what then you need to be sure of what you claim is true. Otherwise you loose all credibility. And for what? The difference here is what you 'think' and what I 'know.'

O Please!

:mega: Get a Life Skyrider!

It's called a joke. :buggerd:

Humor.

H U M O,,,,,
Didn't I just write this the other day??? :spudwhat: :yeah:

Aucker
11th June 2004, 18:27
Zed wrote

You'll back off? Hey man/woman, keep going, because you are just revealing your true self more and more to everyone...I'm in this for the longhaul.

If you choose to nitpick my posts on different threads you will end up falling into the pit you are digging for yourself. I would much rather you keep me on your ignore list!

Btw, what proselytising? Do you even know the meaning of the word?
__________________
Zed And here is me offering an olive branch to you and all you can do is send the above as a private message. Realy Zed. TUT TUT. Oh sorry tut tut. Must not shout. It might come as a surprise to you Zed but I do not use words that I do not know the meaning of. Perhaps if in future you used the principles of tergiverstion to my posts you might just see the light. Now you real are becoming a bit of a bore so will comment no further.

Skyryderwhere did zed write that, i cant see it in this thread? :cool:

Oh yeah i see, it was a PM. But aren't PM's supposed to be private? why then did you post zeds pm skyryder? thats a bit low.

Zed
11th June 2004, 19:52
...But aren't PM's supposed to be private? why then did you post zeds pm skyryder? thats a bit low.
Yes Aucker, it's a low level that some will stoop to when they can't help themselves. :thud:

If you read through this thread you will see clearly that Skyrider has criticized my original post unfairly, lied about not making any personal attacks himself, and admitted that it was all because he has a problem with my religious opinions. I myself can leave religion debates on the r/ravings thread but Skyrider can't because he is guilty of discrimination.

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 20:31
where did zed write that, i cant see it in this thread? :cool:

Oh yeah i see, it was a PM. But aren't PM's supposed to be private? why then did you post zeds pm skyryder? thats a bit low.


There is an unwritten code that you do not use the PM for private abuse. If you make a statement on a forum and it leads to some slagging then you do one of two things: stop or continue out in the open. You do not hide behind the PM option and continue privately. Zed broke the rules and I have disengadged myself from his vindictivness. In other words I have followed my own advice.

Skyryder

Skyryder
11th June 2004, 20:44
Yes Aucker, it's a low level that some will stoop to when they can't help themselves. :thud:

If you read through this thread you will see clearly that Skyrider has criticized my original post unfairly, lied about not making any personal attacks himself, and admitted that it was all because he has a problem with my religious opinions. I myself can leave religion debates on the r/ravings thread but Skyrider can't because he is guilty of discrimination.


It's called self disipline Zed. Try it.



Skyryder

Ghost Lemur
11th June 2004, 23:04
Parental Voice

"Don't make me come back there"

/Parental Voice

Oh and back on the subject of the thread....

:killingme brilliant.