Data Entry Work

[Finn]

Motorbike friendly employer looking for experienced data entry staff. Grafton location. Flexible hours including late nights and weekend work.

Must have data entry experience and that doesn't mean replying to threads on KB. Our data entry system provides imaged data on screen and helps you read characters & words so you are basically validating data. Easy and lots and lots of fun.

PM me if you're interested.

And Dover, you're already fired so don't bother applying.

[Swoop]

How many NZ Roubles are you rewarding the skilled, intelligent, and vastly over qualified applicant?
Obviously sex/age/ethnicity/religion/etc are not barriers in your company, so could the successful applicant bring their pet whale/greenie in to work?

[R6_kid]

PM sent, very interested.

[Finn]

How many NZ Roubles are you rewarding the skilled, intelligent, and vastly over qualified applicant?
Obviously sex/age/ethnicity/religion/etc are not barriers in your company, so could the successful applicant bring their pet whale/greenie in to work?

We're an equal opportunity employer. We'll hire anybody with the right attitude regardless of sex, age, ethnicity or religion. If you can guess the right applicant from the following scenario, you'll fit right in.

3 women are being interviewed to work for me. When interviewing the ladies, I ask if they found $100 in the office carpark, what would they do with it?

The first lady answered "I would hand it into reception and hope that it would reach the righful owner"

The next lady said "I would donate it to charity"

And finally, the last lady responded "I would spend it"

Which one got the job?





























The one with the biggest tits.

[Finn]

My last post was of course a joke.

[Ixion]

Bugger. Now you tell me. D'y' mean I've wasted me money on those falsies?

[Finn]

Not at all Ixion. The joke was that we are an equal opportunity employer.

[soundbeltfarm]

A question i got asked at a job interveiw once was:

Why are manholes and their lids round?


the answer is commonsense really but i must be a dumb arse as i passed on it. (couldn't figure it out.)

















the answer is so the lid will not fall down the hole.

Easy , but i stuffed up on it.

[Flyingpony]

Sounds like you're are running a computer gaming place, because:


flexible hours including late nights and weekend work.
Game playing is mostly done outside working hours.


Our data entry system provides imaged data on screen and helps you read characters & words so you are basically validating data. Easy and lots and lots of fun.
Imaged data as in 3D projection of the virtual environment.
Characters as in the other players or yourself depending on skin setup selected.
Words as in the abusive messages given and sent by fellow players.
Which all naturally is lots of fun!


Must have data entry experience and that doesn't mean replying to threads on KB.
Bugger, that'll rule out most people.

[The_Dover]

And Dover, you're already fired so don't bother applying.

Fuck you man, I don't need to stand for your sexual harassment that's why I didn't show up last week.

[Ixion]

So your titties didn't meet Finn's exacting standards either?

[placidfemme]

hmmm... would be keen for some extra $$$ but don't know if I can be bothered bussing out there on weekends or after work...

[Finn]

hmmm... would be keen for some extra $$$ but don't know if I can be bothered bussing out there on weekends or after work...

That's a fine attitude you got there young lady. YOU'RE FIRED!!!

So far, one KB'er works for me. It's all part of my master plan.... Mwahahahahaha... (with little finger at side of mouth)

[mat1138]

You're a real dick mate.

[Finn]

You're a real dick mate.

Well done, especially given it's only your 6th post!!! Normally it take people a lot longer to figure this out. You must be very clever.

Would you like a job here too?

[mat1138]

Yes, I am pretty quick.
I can't see why anyone would want to work for you, you're disgusting.

[Scouse]

Yes, I am pretty quick.
I can't see why anyone would want to work for you, you're disgusting.Is your real name Gaylord....?

[mat1138]

No, it isn't. Is yours Homophobe?

[Scouse]

No, it isn't. Is yours Homophobe?Close......

[andrea]

oh damn i was going to ask spankme for a reference too, so whats the hourly rate

[mat1138]

Close......
Good for you then! I'll leave you to continue beating your wife and to complain about the increase in rate fees, while the rest of society becomes a lot more open minded.

[andrea]

We're an equal opportunity employer. We'll hire anybody with the right attitude regardless of sex, age, ethnicity or religion. If you can guess the right applicant from the following scenario, you'll fit right in.

3 women are being interviewed to work for me. When interviewing the ladies, I ask if they found $100 in the office carpark, what would they do with it?

The first lady answered "I would hand it into reception and hope that it would reach the righful owner"

The next lady said "I would donate it to charity"

And finally, the last lady responded "I would spend it"

Which one got the job?





























The one with the biggest tits.

id spend it YEAHHHHHH!!!!! so what if your a hermaphrodite and you swings both ways would u still get the job? and are there any special benefits if you are:mellow:

[andrea]

sorry im asking on behalf in indy and winja

[Indiana_Jones]

sorry im asking on behalf in indy and winja

lol

-Indy

[andrea]

lol

-Indy

just joking, so whats the hourly rate, oh yeah if i found 100 dollars id spend it on some new sheepskin covers for my bike

[Finn]

Yes, I am pretty quick.
I can't see why anyone would want to work for you, you're disgusting.

Probably for the disgusting money I pay them. Perhaps you're not so clever after all so you're probably not suitable for the job. Besides, we don't hire under achievers.

Perhaps you should check out your local WINZ office or do they already have your CV on file?

[Zed]

Have you any positions available in 'procurement' Finn?

...and I don't think you're disgusting, a little distasteful at times, but not disgusting. Do I get the job?

[merv]

I like your style Finn and don't need a job myself. Keep up the good work here all the same.

[mat1138]

Probably for the disgusting money I pay them. Perhaps you're not so clever after all so you're probably not suitable for the job. Besides, we don't hire under achievers.

Perhaps you should check out your local WINZ office or do they already have your CV on file?

Oh I'm sorry, clearly I needed this well paying(?) job.

I'll go under achieve elsewhere.

[Finn]

Have you any positions available in 'procurement' Finn?

...and I don't think you're disgusting, a little distasteful at times, but not disgusting. Do I get the job?

No, but I'll keep my ears open.

[placidfemme]

That's a fine attitude you got there young lady. YOU'RE FIRED!!!

So far, one KB'er works for me. It's all part of my master plan.... Mwahahahahaha... (with little finger at side of mouth)

lol I'm a bit slow... forgot about this thread... theres nothing wrong with my attitude... its meant to be this way...

now I'm gutted i got fired :shutup: do I get a payout? maybe redundancy?

[Zed]

...now I'm gutted i got fired :shutup: do I get a payout? maybe redundancy?Haha you're a trier Placid, this will not look good on your resumé!

[placidfemme]

Haha you're a trier Placid, this will not look good on your resumé!

I know... they'll ask me "why did you leave your last job?" and I'll have to say "because i have a bad attitude" lol

[LilSel]

they'll ask me "why did you leave your last job?" and I'll have to say "because....
....somone with bigger tits applied for a job"... LOL

[placidfemme]

....somone with bigger tits applied for a job"... LOL

lol yeah... "my ex-employeer didn't think I looked slutty enough for his clients..."

[LilSel]

lol yeah... "my ex-employeer didn't think I looked slutty enough for his clients..."

LOL... :sick:

[placidfemme]

LOL... :sick:

well its hard to look slutty when your not even girly haha

[Indiana_Jones]

well its hard to look slutty when your not even girly haha

Renegade master (yes that's really him lol) looks pretty slutty, can she/he get the job?


<img src="http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=40970&stc=1&d=11575022331">

-Indy

[LilSel]

Renegade master (yes that's really him lol) looks pretty slutty, can she/he get the job?
-Indy


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Oh dear.... And I thought I looked odd in a skirt

[placidfemme]

Renegade master (yes that's really him lol) looks pretty slutty, can she/he get the job?


<img src="http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=40970&stc=1&d=11575022331">

-Indy

oh my... I'm speechless... I was confused for a second... now I'm speechless...

Edit: are his um.... her... toenails painted?

[MrMelon]

Does anyone have a red hot poker I can use to soothe the pain in my eyes?

[placidfemme]

Does anyone have a red hot poker I can use to soothe the pain in my eyes?

lol it won't help... cause its stuck in your brain... I recommend some A-Class drugs

[SARGE]

Motorbike friendly employer looking for experienced data entry staff. Grafton location. Flexible hours including late nights and weekend work.

Must have data entry experience and that doesn't mean replying to threads on KB. Our data entry system provides imaged data on screen and helps you read characters & words so you are basically validating data. Easy and lots and lots of fun.




i'll take it ...


heres my CV



Dallas, Sarge, Candice, whatever
EndlessMurk512@xtra.co.nz
This Abject World
(021) 555-5555



Objective
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have no objective. What's the point when cold death is the final destination for us all? Can you explain that to me? I know I'm supposed to put something here, though, so here goes: Your objective is to hire me into a challenging position in a Sales and Marketing field within which you feel I can "make a difference" and "contribute" in a team environment.

Imbecile.



Education
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bachelor of "Business" with a major in Marketing, University of Cincinatti

B.S., all right. It tickles me greatly that vapid, hornswoggled employers place so much emphasis on scholastic aptitude and higher education, as if knowing the Pythagorean theorem could shield me from the stygian pointlessness of mortality or the lurid abyss of imminent nonexistence. Of course, I use the word "tickles" figuratively, since I feel absolutely nothing.



Skills
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Skills are valueless and only serve temporarily to bolster the trembling egos of the sheeple of this wretched world. I eschew all so-called personal development, instead dying under the premise that, when I'm a biodegrading mess of worm feed hopelessly buried beneath a fathom of dark earth, being able to type 70 words a minute really won't do me a modicum of what you so ignorantly refer to as "good."

Microsoft Excel, PowerPoint, Access, Frontpage, Outlook



Work Experience
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lead Sales Representative, Coleman’s Suzuki. (June 2004 to Aug 2006)

As the leading sales representative at Coleman’s, I implemented a new web-based Advertising system lauded by my maudlin, foolhardy management team as "wonderfully efficient and surprisingly self-explanatory." Why any of this mattered, I don't know or care.

As far as being a "leader" goes, I wasn't leading anyone or anything. Death is the great leveler, leading us all. Or not. Again, who cares, really?

Sales rep; Red Baron Motorcycles (January 2001 to June 2004)

Employee of the month 29 consecutive times.



Interests
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It pains me (again, being loose with the language here) to think that one could be so ridiculous as to maintain any sort of attachment to this-worldly tangibles, concepts, or other such contemptible ephemera. I'll admit I play tennis, although I don't keep score and insist that when my deluded partner does he use the terms "zero" or "nothingness" instead of "love," a superfluous notion.

I also read a bit of Baudelaire, for what it's worth, which is nothing.



Honors/Awards
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mankind, in its self-congratulatory revelry, will finally come to realize that all forms of kudos simply blind us from the solitary incontrovertible truth: life is a hollow shell of nil.

Once, during my younger days, in an ultimately nugatory proclamation (is there any other kind?) of my desensitized attitude toward accolades and gifts, I coined the phrase "He who dies with the most toys ... still dies." A bumper-sticker company then offered me a large sum of money for the rights to this phrase. I told them to keep it and give it to someone or something that mattered, which I guess was my way of making a joke (back before I realized how asinine and fruitless such a thing was).



References
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This section seems a bit silly. But not like ha-ha silly. I mean ineffectual, obviously.


i can start monday

[BuFfY]

That's a fine attitude you got there young lady. YOU'RE FIRED!!!

So far, one KB'er works for me. It's all part of my master plan.... Mwahahahahaha... (with little finger at side of mouth)

That would be me :D

Guess my tits were nicer than the others? :innocent:

[Ixion]

Baudelaire ? Not a good choice for a man who has seen much of death.

Derrière les rochers une chienne inquiète
Nous regardait d'un oeil fâché,
Epiant le moment de reprendre au squelette
Le morceau qu'elle avait lâché.

— Et pourtant vous serez semblable à cette ordure,
À cette horrible infection,
Etoile de mes yeux, soleil de ma nature,
Vous, mon ange et ma passion!

Oui! telle vous serez, ô la reine des grâces,
Apres les derniers sacrements,
Quand vous irez, sous l'herbe et les floraisons grasses,
Moisir parmi les ossements.

Alors, ô ma beauté! dites à la vermine
Qui vous mangera de baisers,
Que j'ai gardé la forme et l'essence divine
De mes amours décomposés!

No, leave him for those who only talk of it, mon brave.

[SARGE]

Baudelaire ? Not a good choice for a man who has seen much of death.





i was being facetious.. i really read sun tzu and Hunter S. Thompson

[The_Dover]

i was being facetious.. i really read sun tzu and Hunter S. Thompson

and only then when the were serialized in Playboy.

[Finn]

That would be me :D

Guess my tits were nicer than the others? :innocent:

Stop bragging and get back to work.

[BuFfY]

But I'm not working today!
And I'm allowed to brag :yes:

[Fishy]

And I'm allowed to brag :yes:

Can't brag about it unless ya can prove it....... We need pics of all the other females at Finn's company topless and then one of you so we can see if they are worth bragging about. :yes:

[pyrocam]

OI!

<ten characters>

[Indiana_Jones]

( . Y . )

-Indy

[Fishy]

OI!

<ten characters>

OI what? you want to join in too? you got better tits than Buffy? ok show us yer man breasts then.

[pyrocam]

OI what? you want to join in too? you got better tits than Buffy? ok show us yer man breasts then.

buffy's tits ARE mine

[placidfemme]

buffy's tits ARE mine

didn't your mother teach you to share?








p/t :dodge:

[Fishy]

buffy's tits ARE mine

Saimese twins? joined at the chest?.

[Macktheknife]

buffy's tits ARE mine

Uummmmmmm dude.... are you sure?
Cause that's really..... icky and wierd and possessive.








p/t