Two smokers - SMOKE ON . rest of you are shit out of luck

[Ixion]

Some of you (the ones wot learned to read big words) will have seen in the Harold that on 27th October this year, the WoF is going to be changed to include a test for visible smoke. If your car or bike shows any visible smoke when the tester revs the shit out of it, it fails the WoF (trucks are exempt. Go figure!).

'Nway , this is obviously a big "oh oh" for two smokers, cos, they, like, SMOKE. 'Tis what they do!

So, after a wee game of "chase the bureaucrat", I got hold of a Russel Bates, in the Environmental section of the Ministry of Transport in Wellington.

Nice chap, and whats more he not only knew what a two stroke was, he knew that they smoked.

And - he confirmed that TWO STROKES ARE EXEMPT. Completely exempt. Doesn't apply.

And the exemption is in the VIR manual . The new version is only in draft and won't be released for about another month , but it will be in table 11-2-1.

Specifically exempt. You don't need any documentation or any other shit . If they try to come with "You need a letter from a car club " or anything, tell them to go read Table 11-2-1. We are EXEMPT.

So those submissions paid off. Russell said they got a lot of submissions about two strokes. I should think so, I practically wore my fingers out creating new identities!

Anything with a two stroke engine. And says Russell, if a tester doesn't know what a two stroke engine looks like he shouldn't be a WoF tester (not too sure on that one!). But anyway, it's all good.

Two smokers rock.Noisy dirty smelly smokey anti social hoon machines - environmentaly unfriendly ? - YOU BET.

(r.bates@transport.govt.nz 04 472 1253 for the record. )

And, by the way, he knew about BRONZ !

[Squeak the Rat]

Excellent work and reporting there Mr Ixion. Very good news indeed.

[Edit:] There's a lesson there for all the nay-sayers who say that there's nothing we can do about it. Sometimes the process does work and it's worth a crack.
:)

[Postie]

good stuff, I wonder if it will work if i say my car is a two stroke???

[Steam]

My brother had a 2-stroke car once, it could fit inside the rear of our Mitsubishi Delica van once you took the seats out. Tiny and hilarious!

Question; "Jim2; Was that a Daihatsu 360, Steam?" Yes, that sounds right to me. Long time ago, me was still at primary school, can't quite remember

[James Deuce]

Was that a Daihatsu 360, Steam?

[sAsLEX]

My brother had a 2-stroke car once, it could fit inside the rear of our Mitsubishi Delica van once you took the seats out. Tiny and hilarious!

the BIG diesel work trucks are two stroke, a guy stalled one once and it jumped started itself as it rolled backwards (engines can run in reverse on some two strokes!!!) none of the brakes worked as the compressors were then running backwards so the truck drove itself off the nearest cliff with the driver unable to do anything.

[The Pastor]

the BIG diesel work trucks are two stroke, a guy stalled one once and it jumped started itself as it rolled backwards (engines can run in reverse on some two strokes!!!) none of the brakes worked as the compressors were then running backwards so the truck drove itself off the nearest cliff with the driver unable to do anything.


Im not sure if I get you, but Ive rolled started alot of cars in reverse?

[McJim]

good stuff, I wonder if it will work if i say my car is a two stroke???

Not so far fetched - my dad had a 2 stroke Wartburg Knight estate car he bought back in 1973.

So if we all get old Wartburgs then we'll be fine.

[Ixion]

Im not sure if I get you, but Ive rolled started alot of cars in reverse?


No he means the gearbox was in forward, but when it rolled back the motor started running in reverse. Two strokes will do that. Can be disconcerting if your ignition is a bit advanced and you stall at the lights. Take off and you shoot backweards.

[The Pastor]

No he means the gearbox was in forward, but when it rolled back the motor started running in reverse. Two strokes will do that. Can be disconcerting if your ignition is a bit retarded and you stall at the lights. Take off and you shoot backweards.

I get ya....


That would be pretty shit. My mate has a 6 speed car and it goes

R 1 3 5
2 3 6

So Reverse and 1st are right next to each other, at a car park he ran into the car behind him, twice. Very funny.

[Firefight]

the BIG diesel work trucks are two stroke, a guy stalled one once and it jumped started itself as it rolled backwards (engines can run in reverse on some two strokes!!!) none of the brakes worked as the compressors were then running backwards so the truck drove itself off the nearest cliff with the driver unable to do anything.


the early detroits used to do that often, in the old days when there was traffic lights at stanley street motorway which stopped trucks as they were going up towards motorway,we often used to see trucks with 6V92's (I think they were)
run back wards when trying to hill start just up from tennis courts, air goes in the exhaust and exhaust emissons come out the air intake.

Not sure why it worked like that, Motu would prob be able to explain it for us, was funny to watch, and used to give new drivers the shits.


F/F

[Magua]

Two strokes, rock rock on!

[Motu]

2 stroke diesels should run a dephazer on the injector pump drive,so they can't run in reverse.But Detroits don't have an injector pump as such,I guess they could run backwards,but I've had practicaly no detroit experiance.A diesel running in reverse is ungoverned - we were told the revs increase at the square per second! If you've ever been near a runaway diesel,it's a an experiance you'll never forget! In ships they can blow a hole in the bottom of the hull as it flys apart.

What a stupid damn rule this one is - I can just imagine those retards at the testing station failing all the old ladies on condensation coming out the exhaust on a cold morning.When was the last time you saw a car pouring smoke out the tailpipe - it just doesn't happen these days....and no tune up less than a couple of grand is going to fix it.It's a thinly disguised attack on diesels,which like 2 strokes smoke as a part of their design.Excessive smoke,sure...that's what I hope we are looking for...and I'd see a couple a year.

I'm a bit worried about my spare Diamante....I've got to decide whether to make it a runner,or use it as a donor for my own one.They had problems with valve guide seals and it smokes real bad if you leave it idling too long.A 24 valve dohc V6 is a bit of a mission to do valve seals on,even for myself.Might have to use a seal softener.

But yay for the smokers - special rule,just for us...eat ya heart out!!!!!!!!!

[Jeaves]

Sweet action , thanks for the report Ixion :2thumbsup

[Mr. Peanut]

:bleh: :eek: :msn-wink: :niceone: :cool: :lol: :2thumbsup ;) :clap: :drool:

[gav]

I get ya....


That would be pretty shit. My mate has a 6 speed car and it goes

R 1 3 5
2 3 6

So Reverse and 1st are right next to each other, at a car park he ran into the car behind him, twice. Very funny.
OK, but why does it have two 3rd gears?? :dodge:

[pritch]

I practically wore my fingers out creating new identities!



LOL Have some green bling:yes:

[Turtle]

Geat investagative work Ixion...shall we never let the powers that be squeeze out the trusty 2 smoker.Long live the 2 smoke.

[gav]

Maybe Honda could follow the lead of these enterprising chaps who breathe new life into the NS400R. How about a big bore (431cc) 3 cylinder two stroke in a modern frame. :yes:

[Korea]

Maybe Honda could follow the lead of these enterprising chaps who breathe new life into the NS400R. How about a big bore (431cc) 3 cylinder two stroke in a modern frame. :yes:

Very nice - sounds like fun! :niceone:

[TLDV8]

How about a big bore 3 cylinder two stroke

:cool:

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[Flatcap]

This is good news - I shall rejoice

[Storm]

Yeah, but they still sound like a fart rattling around in a baked bean tin :bleh:

[Motu]

Pah,2 strokes with itty bitty pistons - try this out for size,a KTM 550.Open the throttle and see God.

[sAsLEX]

Pah,2 strokes with itty bitty pistons - try this out for size,a KTM 550.Open the throttle and see God.

Isnt it "see god THEN brake!"


Whats up with the clutch in your pic?

[Motu]

I
Whats up with the clutch in your pic?

Air clutch - haven't you seen those before?:innocent:

[Big Dave]

So if we all get old Wartburgs then we'll be fine.

Never went to bed with an ugly woman - but I sure woke up with a few.

[Big Dave]

Pah,2 strokes with itty bitty pistons - try this out for size,a KTM 550.Open the throttle and see God.

Nice work showing the rear - nobody has been able to capture a rear 1/4 shot when it's going before because of all the fuckin' smoke.
You sure you've done a good thing Mr ixion?

[KLOWN]

\yay, two smokers RULE, I can't wait to get a 250 two smoker, My 150 is good enough at the mo but just dosent have the power delivery that I need/want. But a 150 is still fast enough to loose your license on, infact I have lost my license on it, hehhehe. all good fun though eh? Don't knock a 250/150 2 stroke unless u have ridden one!!!

[Mr. Peanut]

2-strokes suck.

[Turtle]

2-strokes suck.

Now now peanus you know thats not true.

[sAsLEX]

2-strokes suck.

4s Suck squish bang then blow!

[HenryDorsetCase]

.Might have to use a seal softener.



I think this (http://www.dulcolax.com/com/stool_softener.htm) is a good one.

[vifferman]

(trucks are exempt. Go figure!).

Same for noise regulations. Go figure them too!

[vifferman]

When was the last time you saw a car pouring smoke out the tailpipe - it just doesn't happen these days
Nearly every day, Dr. Motu! You need to get out more.
And as you say - Mitsubishis suffer from this, and most of the smoky cars I see are either Mitsubishis, or crappy old Lasers/323s.
Also, there are shitloads of very badly maintained diesels on the road. Yes, diesels may smoke a little when cold, or when given a large amount of wellie, but there are far too many spewing crap out the zorst.

Talking about 2-strokes: one of my friends at school had a 2-stroke car. No, not the Suzuki - an Auto Union. Looked like an Audi, but didn't sound like one, at all, at all.
Talking about 2-strokes: I followed one up the road the other day. No, not an Auto Union - it was a 70s Suzuki, the GT380, I think (sounded a bit high-pitched to be the 550). Headed down towards Birkdale. Very nicely preserved or restored.

[Motu]

And as you say - Mitsubishis suffer from this, and most of the smoky cars I see are either Mitsubishis, or crappy old Lasers/323s.
Also, there are shitloads of very badly maintained diesels on the road. .

Yep,early Mitsi's and Lasers - but no tune up is going to fix them burning oil,and it's really just a poorly designed PCV system.No way are the owners going to fix these things - and you have as much hope of getting them off the road as you do no WoF/Rego/unlicenced drivers/Boi Racers or whatever else certain people decide to do with their cars.

Badly maintained diesels,yes - and the bad maintenance started in Japan,they spend half their life idling....stop the crap getting in the door,it's too late when they are already here.

We used to keep 3 D16 sparkplugs cleaned and ready for the DKW,a quick tune up.

[sAsLEX]

Same for noise regulations. Go figure them too!

No boy racer is going to out sound a big line haul truck using its Jacobs brake now are they!

I can see the point though, line haul trucks aint really driving through surburbia at 3 in the morning like god knows how many rx3, vn crummydores or Type R's

[Ixion]

They do drive through country towns at 3 am though.

[sAsLEX]

Same for noise regulations. Go figure them too!

An interesting aside, the same reasoning applies in the states where the 510HP 8 Litre V10 from Dodge gets classed as gas guzzling when in the 20MPG RT10 Convertible but is not classed as gas guzzling in the new RT10 Big Ute thing even though that only make 6-8MPG go figure!

http://lettrist.blogspot.com/2006/08/american-auto-industry-in-2007-still.html

[Flyingpony]

My mate has a 6 speed car and it goes

R 1 3 5
2 3 6

So Reverse and 1st are right next to each other, at a car park he ran into the car behind him, twice. Very funny.
Oh dear, mistakes reverse for first :killingme Thanks for the laugh.

I think your mate will have fun driving a vehicle with the following layout pattern (Bedford trucks have them):

&nbsp; 1 3
R 2 4

[myvice]

Some French crowd was building a 900cc two-stroke twin...
Their gunna go through a whole shit load of test pilots! :shit:

[The Pastor]

Some French crowd was building a 900cc two-stroke twin...
Their gunna go through a whole shit load of test pilots! :shit:

I'd put my name down for it!

[Dadpole]

Might have to use a seal softener.

You can borrow mine