SHAKESPEAREAN QUOTES and QUOTES IN GENERAL..

[woodybee]

Woodybee,

Here starteth the lesson dudes and dudess's, what with all the cool and groovy quotes, how bout wwe mix em up and have some funky made up Shakespearean quotes for something a bit different. One I liked which is a real one is "thou dust infest me with the blink of an eye" = you really piss me off! I hae a couple now, (1) no time to pine, as time is mine (2) enjoy enjoy as life's a toy..........anyway, they seem to spill out when you start so lets start a cheesy and goofy quote thread going, you never know, someone might get the quote which will go into the next centure. Woodybee signing off, "Penguins,,Pirates and Snowmen Rule!" IDB you know about that " "!:scooter:

[Virago]

I'm confused - is this a meeting, or an event?:wacko:

[gijoe1313]

Prithee pray tell, tis' a glamour cast twixt on the cusp of willow's wisps eve! The merriment and nadir of thine humors will come not cheap nor last through our revels aplenty. But, lo, softly yonder light breaks as understanding breaks like a wave borne from its thunderhead.

Fleeting moments granted by Gods of Chronos and the life sputters from the flickering candle. Tarry not long here ye fools but meander down to the barrels end to sup dry its yield!

Harken to the clarion call of thine prohets poetic musings, personified through our laments and odes to our dynos worshippings of perambulations on divinity wheels of freedom!

Your humble servant in requisiem sum pacem!

[Hitcher]

Now is the summer of our discontent.

[Big Dave]

Now is the summer of our discontent.

Or that famous line from the 'Outdoor Store Christmas Sale':

'Now is the Summer of our Discount Tents.'


There is providence in the fall of a sparrow.


If it was a meeting of bikes all talking like shakespeare - it would be like an episode of 'get smart' - I'll find a link.

[Hitcher]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a melon.

[McJim]

Some Shakespeare requires no amendment - merely addendum.

"Out, Out damned spot, out I say..that fucken dog's pissed on the carpet again!"

[MSTRS]

Alas poor Yorrick, I knew him well. He knew no end of funny jokes.

Is it better to suffer the slings and bandages of the NHS or to go private?

[eliot-ness]

After an experience in a roadside cafe.
The squalid tea of Mercer is not strained

[Indiana_Jones]

You know, it's a pity I didn't keep that drawing. It'll be worth a lot more by morning.

-Indy

[Big Dave]

Alas poor Yorrick, I knew him well. He knew no end of funny jokes.

Is it better to suffer the slings and bandages of the NHS or to go private?


There is no 'well' - just I knew him.

>> Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that.<<

[MSTRS]

Thank you, smartarse...:shit:

[McJim]

O' that this too too sullied flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself unto a (mountain) dew.....L&P, coke or a sprite would do too.

[McJim]

There is no 'well' - just I knew him.

Methinks he dost protest too much.

[mstriumph]

There is no 'well' - just I knew him.

Methinks he dost protest too much.

......... that AIN'T no lady!! :mellow:

[Big Dave]

Thank you, smartarse...:shit:

What one is that from - I don't recall - Sonnets?

[Big Dave]

Methinks he dost protest too much.

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."

[Skyryder]

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream

Poe

[MSTRS]

What one is that from - I don't recall - Sonnets?

No. 'Tis from The KBer Of Napier. Little known. Unpublished. Probably in trouble.

[Big Dave]

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream

Poe

'Ahh yes - the famous bruvvers Edgar and Allan - eclipsed in literary familiy fame only by those luminaries George & Bernard Shaw' - 2 Ronnies

[Big Dave]

A witty saying proves nothing. - Voltaire.

[Hitcher]

It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine.

[idb]

......lets start a cheesy ..... quote thread going....!:scooter:

"Is this a cheddar which I see before me?"

"To brie or not to brie, that is the question"

[idb]

Ha!
Cultured Shakespeare.

[ManDownUnder]

Romeo, Romeo, I can see your house from up here!

or

Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?
I'm down 'ere ya silly cow - I fell off the trellis!

or (my fav... and actually a quote)
And a lovestruck Romeo, he sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
And says something like "You and me, babe, how 'bout it?

Love that last line - it's a killer!. So cool, classy and straight to the point.
MDU

[McJim]

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."

Verily, methinks tis the egg vindaloo. Or the results thereof.

[idb]

Et tu Brute?
Dost thou desire crackers with that?

[Big Dave]

It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine.

A sphincter says what?

[Big Dave]

Yogi Berra's second claim to fame is for being one of the most quoted figures in the sports world. He is credited with coining the deceptively simplistic observation, "It ain't over till it's over." But he's also known for his flubs. Here is a collection of the most notorious of these.

* "This is like deja vu all over again."

* "You can observe a lot just by watching."

* "He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.

* "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.

* "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.

* "Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"

* "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

* "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."

* "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."

* "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

* "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

* "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

* "It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."

* "Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."

* "A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

* "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

* "It gets late early out there." -- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.

* "Glen Cove." -- Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show.

* Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."

* "Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.

* "I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."

* "If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

* "You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."

* "90% of the putts that are short don't go in."

* "I made a wrong mistake."

* "Texas has a lot of electrical votes." -- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.

* "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.

* "I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

* "Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."

* "If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."

* "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."

* "It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."

* "How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name." -- Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "bearer."

* "I'd say he's done more than that." -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.

* "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."

* "He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.

* "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"

* "It ain't the heat; it's the humility."

* "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."

* "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

* "I didn't really say everything I said."

[Big Dave]

"Is this a cheddar which I see before me?"

"To brie or not to brie, that is the question"

Whether it is nobler in the mind to succour
The strings and twists of outrageous fondues,
Or to take arms against a sea of truffles...



Blessed are the Cheesemakers.

[scumdog]

Now is the summer of our discontent.

"How is Donna Summer's discotheque"

[Big Dave]

"How is Donna Summer's discotheque"

I left my heart in sam spams disco

Hey man is that the cat that chewed you new shoes

[scumdog]

I left my heart in sam spams disco

Hey man is that the cat that chewed you new shoes

"Oh to ride a furry with a s'ringe on top"

"The Titanic tales of salmon rusty"

[McJim]

"Verily Guv'nor, t'will be 5 guinneas, 3 shillings and fourpence to perfom the requested redecoration of the stage at yonder Globe."

[Big Dave]

"Verily Guv'nor, t'will be 5 guinneas, 3 shillings and fourpence to perfom the requested redecoration of the stage at yonder Globe."

Was he OSH compliant?

[woodybee]

Goodeth greadeth, you certainly have the lines oh dude that fell from quoting heaven, you going on the Pissteth Penguin rallyeth, and like I have said before, the admirable thing about Penguins is that they mate for life, and on the repeative note, any single penguins out there? New Quote, as I scratheth my head, with a hangove from hell from last new B52 adventure.....yuk!! is ........................ "Gather love as you used to gather daisies as a child and let your life explode with colour" blimey is that a bit cheesey? Oh well, straight from the heart at 100 miles an hour that one....Coi 4 now gijoe, from the woodybee : )

[woodybee]

Yo Oh Scumdogeth, you and chris heading down to Katheth point for the pisteth penguin? Another quote ermmmmmmmmm...... "Life is like a triupmh bonneville, shiny bright and as fun as Mayfly, so groove your shoes to the song it sings"..........

[scumdog]

Yo Oh Scumdogeth, you and chris heading down to Katheth point for the pisteth penguin? Another quote ermmmmmmmmm...... "Life is like a triupmh bonneville, shiny bright and as fun as Mayfly, so groove your shoes to the song it sings"..........

Yeth, but maybe not on the Fwiday night - bit we WILL be there.:yes:

[woodybee]

Hey dudeth your braveth, chucking your picture on there, am going to ride the bonny triumph to the road that goes to the Moraki boulders and pose under that stunningly named Sign "Shagpoint". sent it to my muckers in England and they creased up with laughter, mind you I used to live in a place called Lickey End, and had a chat with an air hostess in Ciarns once!!! and she lived in Murphy's Knob, we reckong the towns should have been twinned, man that was funny, so dudeth you shaking your boots to the Pisteth Penguin? and what sort of bike is a black rat, or I am being completely dence here?!

[woodybee]

Abath fabbeth, will be darn good to see you guys again, and to maybe Scum Dogeth we will see you perform the light fantastic on the dance floor. "Red and Yellow and Pink and Blue.......be truth to life and it'll be good to you", god isnt it easy to spouteth the cheese when you put half a brain cell to it!!

[woodybee]

Hey Big Dave, hope your jokes are as good as yer quotes.......and am seriously going to have to look at what I am typing, my fingers keep getting knotted up>>>>> : )

[idb]

"I feel the need...the need for cheese!"
Top Gun

[Big Dave]

Hey Big Dave, hope your jokes are as good as yer quotes.......and am seriously going to have to look at what I am typing, my fingers keep getting knotted up>>>>> : )


Bury me next to a straight man. - Groucho.

As several on here will confirm - it's more a case of quantity over quality. Kiss enough frogs....cheers - dc

[Big Dave]

More Groucho:

# A four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail out of it. (Duck Soup)
# A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
# Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. (Groucho and Me)
# Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. (Groucho and Me)
# Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
# Blood's not thicker than money.
# Bury me next to a straight man.
# "Do you believe in computer dating?" "Only if the computers really love each other."
# Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you? (Monkey Business)
# Don't point that beard at me, it might go off. (A Day at the Races)
# Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room and I think it's you. (Duck Soup)
# Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. (A Day at the Races)
# From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
# Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. (Duck Soup)
# Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
# How do you feel about women's rights ? I like either side of them.
# I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing.
# I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I'd rather dance with the cows till you came home. (Duck Soup)
# I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions-the curtain was up.
# I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
# I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago...I shot my broker.
# I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
# I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
# I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
# I sent the club a wire stating, Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member. (Groucho and Me)
# I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
# I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
# I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.
# I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
# I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy.
# Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
# If he (Chico) made ten thousand dollars a day, he'd spend ten thousand dollars a day. I don't mind that. What I do mind is that he still sleeps better than I do.
# If I hold you any closer, I'll be on the back of you. (A Day at the Races)
# If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
# I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I'd give it all up for one erection.
# I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
# I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it
# I've known and respected your husband for many years... and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. (Monkey Business)
# Last night I shot an elephant in my Pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
# Madam, before I get through with you, you will have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife. (Monkey Business)
# Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
# Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
# Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
# Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
# Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
# Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
# Oh are you from Wales ?? Do you know a fella named Jonah ?? He used to live in whales for a while.
# Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
# Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
# Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
# Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
# Remember you're fighting for this woman's honor - which is probably more than she ever did. (Duck Soup)
# Room service? Send up a larger room.
# She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
# Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put 'Emily, I love you' on the back of the bill.
# She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party.
# There's only one way to find out if a man is honest...ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook.
# There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!
# Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
# Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
# Time wounds all heels.
# The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
# We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next year.
# Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
# Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
# Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
# Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
# Women should be obscene and not heard.
# Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first. (Duck Soup)
# Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference.
# We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
# You can leave in taxi. If you can't leave in taxi you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. (Duck Soup)
# You haven't stopped talking since I came here! You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle! (Duck Soup)
# You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
# You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

[idb]

"What are you rebelling against Johnny?"
"Those nasty little cheese slices in the individual plastic wrappers...I hate those fuckers!!!"

Or something like that

[idb]

"I love the smell of Edam in the morning, it smells like....victory"

Apocalypse Now

[idb]

"Houston...we have a Stilton"

Apollo something.
There were so many sequels I get them mixed up.

[Hitcher]

Cheese jokes? Caerphilly does it...

[idb]

Cheese jokes? Caerphilly does it...

Oh yes, it's turning into quite a Saga!

[Hitcher]

Oh yes, it's turning into quite a Saga!

That's no gouda. You can do better than that...

[Big Dave]

That's no gouda. You can do better than that...


Do you mind if I whey in?

'Wouldn't like to sell it to you like that Sir.'

[idb]

Do you mind if I whey in?

'Wouldn't like to sell it to you like that Sir.'

This thread is seriously deteriorating....un-Leicester-able puns and stretched wordplay are accepted.

[Big Dave]

This thread is seriously deteriorating....un-Leicester-able puns and stretched wordplay are accepted.

Edam and weep. (or have we had that?:zzzz:)

[idb]

Edam and weep. (or have we had that?:zzzz:)

It's al-Mozzarella-vant really!


erk!

[McJim]

Was he OSH compliant?

Don't be soft lad - it was in england - all done under the auspices of HSE.
Health and Safety Executive.

[scumdog]

Feta lot of crap from you guys!!

[Hitcher]

These cheese puns are a bit grating. But I don't want to start a whine and cheese evening...

[Big Dave]

'Grating'...now I'm churning over how to respond. Dairy say more.

[Hitcher]

'Grating'...now I'm churning over how to respond. Dairy say more.

What, another junket?

[Big Dave]

Feta lot of crap from you guys!!

You're just anti pasto.

[Big Dave]

What, another junket?

Just firming up the plans - nothing set.

[idb]

What, another junket?

Heh, nothing gets pasteurise, does it?

[Hitcher]

Dairy, dairy me.

[gijoe1313]

As is wont to cheddar other peoples remarks, the thief of time is not music to mine ears which unleashes the dogs of wars. On this day, s/he that stands this ruinous mix of torment will stand as a paragon of virtue, et tu? Has not a biker eyes, ears and a heart? The die is cast when good people stand idle and lose their whey. The cure for this is a fixed stare in the face of those jackanapes to be rennet! The thin blue vein is stopped evermore in the name of Edam and Eva! The lords of Camebert, Mousillion and Stilton will placated by these mews. Star-crossed lovers will weep with the wilting of the passing of Rosencrantz and Guildenstein who knew their cheese!

Deign to be ignoble in design, 'tis nobler to nobble thy nibbles in the foray of feigned quotes that quit its purpose in the prime of its listless life! :shutup:

[Big Dave]

who farted?

[McJim]

who farted?

Warned you about the Egg Vindaloo.

[woodybee]

Hey dudes and dudess's well now cometh the time for more injection into this thread, How cometh thy voice of quotes has dimmed to a mere fraction of what starteth this daftest thread. So unleash those quotes and lets getteth going once more.......hmmmmmm "live for thy moment, coz thy moment will not waiteth for you:, twill diminish before thyn eyes, like the smallest candle will diminish with the lacketh of air!!" oh well its a tryeth at least.:banana: :wari: :buggerd: :Playnice: :cool: :hug:

[Big Dave]

Blackadder
'The only decent impression he can do is of a man with no talent.'

'He's the most overrated human being since Judas Iscariot
won the AD 31 Best Disciple Competition.'


'She's famous for having the worst personality in Germany,
and as you can imagine that's up against some pretty stiff
competition.'

'It minds me not that you dress like a mad parrot and talk like
a plate of beans negotiating their way out of a cow's digestive
system...'

'You're the worst entertainer since St Paul the Evangelist
toured Palestine with his trampoline act.'


I fear your services might be as useful as a barber's shop on
the steps of the guillotine.'


'(Wales is) a ghastly place, huge gangs of tough, sinewy men
roaming the valleys terrifying people with their close-harmony
singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to
pronounce the place names. Never ask for directions in Wales,
Baldrick - you'll be washing spit out of your hair for a
fortnight.'


'You are to be congratulated, my friend. We live in an age
where illness and deformity are commonplace, and yet,
Ploppy, you are, without a doubt, the most repulsive individual
I have ever met. I would shake your hand, but fear it would
come off.' -- Blackadder,

'He's got a brain the size of a weasel's wedding tackle.' -- Blackadder

[McJim]

My fave Blackadder moment is the "Great booze up Edmund" transformation into "Great Boo's up" I would attempt to relay this but suspect the transcript would be less than perfect and that the imperfections would be noted - I therefore leave this to those greater than me (or that actually have the DVD and can touch type while watching!)

[gijoe1313]

My fave Blackadder moment is the "Great booze up Edmund" transformation into "Great Boo's up" I would attempt to relay this but suspect the transcript would be less than perfect and that the imperfections would be noted - I therefore leave this to those greater than me (or that actually have the DVD and can touch type while watching!)

Why doncha jus' do a goodie google on the transcript oh bonny prince? I'm shure sum no-life geek has done just tha' fer ye edification!

[McJim]

Why doncha jus' do a goodie google on the transcript oh bonny prince? I'm shure sum no-life geek has done just tha' fer ye edification!

Coz ah cannae be arsed - ah'm oftay bed. (feel free to quote me on that)

'night.