Calling all male KB members

[Blackbird]

I suppose every other male on this site has copped similar grief from their partners…..:(

I used to be regularly accused of not listening to my wife, particularly whilst I was reading. This was cured a few years back by her reacting to silence behind the newspaper by tearing it out of my hands and arriving in my lap slapping and biting.:weep:

Although I have been very good in recent years, I lapsed the night before last by failing to listen to what she was saying because I had my head stuck in a superb book (Gerald Seymour, “Rat Run” if you wish to live dangerously). This caused a large dollop of the silent treatment (which I was slow to pick up on due to my head being in aforesaid book) and this of course made matters significantly worse by the time the penny dropped. Having legs on my belly as far as Mrs B is concerned, I stopped off on the way home from work last night and picked up a bunch of flowers. The presentation of flowers caused much merriment from Mrs B because she had mentally forgiven me before we turned in the previous evening but naturally, I was not informed of this decision and left to squirm.

By way of confession, I didn’t think that the transgression was at the serious end of the notoriously fickle Partner Offending Scale, so simply stopped off at the Chinese fruiterers in town to pick up a modestly-priced bunch of flowers (ok, cheap!) but they have discontinued selling them. I was somewhat alarmed about the prospect of having to visit the local florist and maxing out the credit card but the local supermarket came to my rescue. Mrs B does not need to know this of course as harmony reigns again in the Blackbird household.:whistle:

The saying "There are 2 ways to treat a woman - both are wrong", is one of the great observations in life.

Sigh…..:weep:

[The_Dover]

I treat my woman and if she's really lucky i'll let her give me a blow job.

[RantyDave]

"There are 2 ways to treat a woman - both are wrong"
LOL!

Dave

[McJim]

I find I have to make concessions to be allowed out on KB rides.

This involves gardening, cooking, dishes, changing nappies, bathing the offspring, washing cars, taking her to the local car park to practice on the bike, listening, putting the seat down on the toilet, clearing the dishes, wiping tables.....etc.

I do not make the mistake of missing a single word she says...that way lies madness and you are a brave man for doing that...although foolish.

Looking forward to the wee run tomorrow with Maverick and the 250 gang.:)

[Lissa]

*tongue in cheek* See the major problem with men is that you can't multi-task. Women of course can vacum, cook dinner, talk on the phone, and scream at the kids at the same time. Men (and clearly blackbird) have to have full concentration to really Listen and hear their partners ;). I am glad you learnt your lesson Blackbird :2thumbsup It can take some men years and years to figure out what you just did *throws him a chocolate medal*. Anyway don't worry about the flowers being cheap... it really is the thought that counts.


Looking forward to the wee run tomorrow with Maverick and the 250 gangAre those done in Wellington as well?

[Blackbird]

[QUOTE=Lissa;761844] I am glad you learnt your lesson Blackbird :2thumbsup It can take some men years and years to figure out what you just did *throws him a chocolate medal*. Anyway don't worry about the flowers being cheap... it really is the thought that counts.
[QUOTE]
I only did the touchy-feely bit because I am master in my own household and a bit of occasional humility does not go amiss. Yeah, right....:whistle:

And multi-tasking is simply a euphemism for making a half-arsed job of a whole load of things at once:calm:

[riffer]

See the major problem with men is that you can't multi-task.

yet another naive female falls for that old line... still, its working for us – why should we tell you the truth? :whistle:

Even my wife can't understand how I can manage forty different things at a time at work, yet can only concentrate on one at home...

[inlinefour]

I suppose every other male on this site has copped similar grief from their partners…..:(

I used to be regularly accused of not listening to my wife, particularly whilst I was reading. This was cured a few years back by her reacting to silence behind the newspaper by tearing it out of my hands and arriving in my lap slapping and biting.:weep:

Although I have been very good in recent years, I lapsed the night before last by failing to listen to what she was saying because I had my head stuck in a superb book (Gerald Seymour, “Rat Run” if you wish to live dangerously). This caused a large dollop of the silent treatment (which I was slow to pick up on due to my head being in aforesaid book) and this of course made matters significantly worse by the time the penny dropped. Having legs on my belly as far as Mrs B is concerned, I stopped off on the way home from work last night and picked up a bunch of flowers. The presentation of flowers caused much merriment from Mrs B because she had mentally forgiven me before we turned in the previous evening but naturally, I was not informed of this decision and left to squirm.

By way of confession, I didn’t think that the transgression was at the serious end of the notoriously fickle Partner Offending Scale, so simply stopped off at the Chinese fruiterers in town to pick up a modestly-priced bunch of flowers (ok, cheap!) but they have discontinued selling them. I was somewhat alarmed about the prospect of having to visit the local florist and maxing out the credit card but the local supermarket came to my rescue. Mrs B does not need to know this of course as harmony reigns again in the Blackbird household.:whistle:

The saying "There are 2 ways to treat a woman - both are wrong", is one of the great observations in life.

Sigh…..:weep:

With most things there is a right way and a wrong way, but with wimmin, its just their way. Kinda have the same problems at times, but I tend to say, did you bother getting my attention? You know I do not wait all the time for you to say something as I like to also do my own thing. If you want to talk to methen feel free, but do not get upset if you talk at me and don't get a reply.

I went for along time without any marital perks, but eventually she changed her mind and finally admitted that I had a point. I was lucky, because my next comment was to suggest that she goto a communication inservice to learn more about it. If I did, I suspect that not even flowers would have helped... :Playnice:

[placidfemme]

haha battle of the sexes... but I have to agree with blackbird on this one...

*is buying Sam dinner tonight cause I'm not doing what she wanted this weekend* (didn't wanna go up norf to see the in-laws)

[skelstar]

Are those done in Wellington as well?
Yes, Wednesday nights (there is a thread somewhere), and occasionally Wasp will organise a 250-style ride. Theres the Oct 1 ride of course.

[Blackbird]

I went for along time without any marital perks,

I am frequently hoarse from begging.:hug:

[SwanTiger]

My Girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch the other night and my girlfriend got shitty at me for some reason. I said "What is your problem?" to which she replied "Nothing" in that "Everything is my problem" tone. To which I unleashed the ultimate tactic, my response "Whatever, go cook me some fucken' eggs woman". The shock of that comment made her forget why she was in a grump - but wait theres more - she actually cooked me bacon and eggs on toast.

Blackbird, I think you need to adopt a new approach, woman are always evolving their tactics :spanking:

[MSTRS]

.... suggest that she goto a communication inservice to learn more about it. If I did, I suspect that not even flowers would have helped...

They would have....made your coffin look nice!!

[Lissa]

And multi-tasking is simply a euphemism for making a half-arsed job of a whole load of things at onceOh I can see you still havent learnt your lesson. ;)


yet another naive female falls for that old line... still, its working for us – why should we tell you the truth?My correction then, "you lazy gits who choose not to multi-task at home!!!


Yes, Wednesday nights (there is a thread somewhere), and occasionally Wasp will organise a 250-style ride. Theres the Oct 1 ride of course.Thanks for that Skel... I was thinking of more for the future when I actually get my bike and learners, although I could met you on Oct 1st on my push bike.. I am sure someone will give me a tow :)


My Girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch the other night and my girlfriend got shitty at me for some reason. I said "What is your problem?" to which she replied "Nothing"Swantiger... nothing really means something!

btw if your girlfriend/partner asks "Do I look fat in these jeans" the answer is ALWAYS ... NO!!!!

[MSTRS]

For Swantiger, least he go through life in (un)happy ignorance....
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over NOTHING and end up with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

[Big Dave]

Nope - never had any trouble like that at all.

[buellbabe]

Seems to me that BOTH men and women are guilty of this stupid behaviour.
It goes both ways...
I had my head in a book (just like Blackbird) when the bloke (now VERY much EX) walked in and started raving about something... I looked up and replied but because I didn't smile he got the hump and walked out...

And as far as multi-tasking is concerned... highly overated if ya ask me!
I'd rather do 1 thing at a time and do it well.

[SwanTiger]

For Swantiger, least he go through life in (un)happy ignorance...
Ignornace is bliss :buggerd:

[sels1]

See the major problem with men is that you can't multi-task.

Thats just as well, or not much would get invented or built. Multi tasking is only good for mudane tasks. If you want to produce anything worthwhile you have to focus. Take a look around you - everything you see...the PC, the electricity than runs it, the desk, the phone, the building , the plumbing, the road outside, the cars and bikes and aeroplanes etc...all built by MEN - focusing on the important stuff. :bleh:

[gijoe1313]

:Pokey: Its this sort of thing which scares the bejeebers outta me - no wonder I'm still single and earning the ire of my mum! Shucks, I think I got too much common sense for my own good and need to lose it so I can enjoy these spiceful additions to life! :whistle:

Mum's doing the arranged marriage thing :crybaby:

[The_Dover]

Mum's doing the arranged marriage thing :crybaby:

I hope she's not a Labour supporter or you could end up in an arranged CIVIL UNION.

[eliot-ness]

My wife is an inveterate chatterer,but like most men I turn off the hearing when I'm reading a book or doing something that requires concentration. However, I always pay attention when she has something important to say. If she complains that I never listen or my memory's on the blink I accuse her of not having told me in the first place and I would never forget anything important. Imagine my surprise then when an hour ago I recieved an email from the travel agent confirming her booking on a flight to the UK a week before Christmas. I would swear on the bible she hadn't told me about it but logic tells me she must have. Now I have to play it by ear and pretend that I knew all along and somehow wheedle the details out of her without arousing suspicion. I may also arrange an appointment at the doc's to have my ears water blasted. I might ask the kids when her birthday is too. It would be a nice surprise for her if she got a card from me after 45 years of waiting. Nothing wrong with my memory though, I reminded her to re register the bike last week. :whistle:

[nudemetalz]

Sheesh, Elliot-ness you live a dangerous life.....:spanking:

[Colapop]

Been there done that. Got separated, had a ball. Started dating 'Her' again - this time round - no bullshit. No hiding what I want to say or what she wants to say. If she sees that I'm busy doing something she'll either interupt (and get a reply so she knows I've heard her) or do something else. Good communication is a two way street.

Of course, if she's pissed at something it can blow up real fast - but once we've blown off steam it's all systems normal. Our kids think we're nuts!

[jonbuoy]

*tongue in cheek* See the major problem with men is that you can't multi-task. Women of course can vacum, cook dinner, talk on the phone, and scream at the kids at the same time. Men (and clearly blackbird) have to have full concentration to really Listen and hear their partners ;). I am glad you learnt your lesson Blackbird :2thumbsup It can take some men years and years to figure out what you just did *throws him a chocolate medal*. Anyway don't worry about the flowers being cheap... it really is the thought that counts.

Are those done in Wellington as well?

Women ATTEMPT to do lots of things at the same time, men know its not possible to do three things at once properly so we just do the one thing and do it right.... BTW being given the silent treatment is a blessing in disguise - stand your ground and she'll realise she can't be the centre of the universe all the time.

[placidfemme]

lol you guys should keep your secrets to yourselves cause now the women know certain things you do... and you ALL know... women talk

haha

[Blackbird]

Women ATTEMPT to do lots of things at the same time, men know its not possible to do three things at once properly so we just do the one thing and do it right.... BTW being given the silent treatment is a blessing in disguise - stand your ground and she'll realise she can't be the centre of the universe all the time.

Said from the safety of not having your partner loooking over your shoulder whilst you typed, one presumes. Or do you have short-term relationships?:whistle: Nice troll, but we're on to ya!

[skelstar]

Yeah, there's furious PM'ing amongst (sp) all the female members of KB right now LOL.

They do say that women 'synchronise' if together for a length of time eh?

[The_Dover]

and you ALL know... women talk

haha

that's why some of us appreciate the silent treatment.

it's fuckin bliss.

[placidfemme]

that's why some of us appreciate the silent treatment.

it's fuckin bliss.

i know tell me about it :)

my fav line is "oh yeah? I distinctly remember forgetting that"

[Edbear]

*Anyway don't worry about the flowers being cheap... it really is the thought that counts.





:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: .........

[Edbear]

Our kids think we're nuts!



Situation normal then!:baby:

[ManDownUnder]

*tongue in cheek* See the major problem with men is that you can't multi-task.

Uh huh... so *tongue firmly in cheeks* why does it take women soooooooooooooooooooooooooo long to work it out/remember that/not fall for our little ruse?

Actually no - guys generally don't multi task, and women are generally less capable spacially. So?

[ManDownUnder]

that's why some of us appreciate the silent treatment.



You on about that BJ again?

[ManDownUnder]

I suppose every other male on this site has copped similar grief from their partners…..:(


Yup!


The saying "There are 2 ways to treat a woman - both are wrong", is one of the great observations in life.

Sigh…..:weep:

Yup!

[MSTRS]

All theories on how to deal with women are just that - theories. Until proved wrong. Unfortunately they have been.

[jonbuoy]

Said from the safety of not having your partner loooking over your shoulder whilst you typed, one presumes. Or do you have short-term relationships?:whistle: Nice troll, but we're on to ya!

Nope happily involved - I don't treat her like crap and she doesn't give me any crap. But yeah she doesn't look at K/B.....

[Mental Trousers]

Screw that. How the hell do you people live?? If Megan doesn't have her nose buried in a book then the world is about to end. It's why we've been together so long, she reads so I don't have to ignore her to get some peace and quiet.

[vixter]

You on about that BJ again?

must be someone else providing the nessesaties im a good girl me!

[Lou Girardin]

I'm old enough to have selective hearing. It's God's gift to men.
Eat your hearts out young 'uns.

[NighthawkNZ]

... putting the seat down on the toilet,...


PHHHHsssssstttt... you female should leave the seat up for the guys why should we have to pick it up all the time...??? Why should the guy have to put it down all the time...??? whats the difference its not hard either way??? Equal opportunities and all.... :scratch: I thought you lot can multi task... obviously not that well??? aload of brain rot.... :dodge:


:beer: :lol: :baby: :done:


Oh hi :D

[Pixie]

... by tearing it out of my hands and arriving in my lap slapping and biting.:weep:
This sounds like fun


...the local supermarket came to my rescue.



I actually got in the shit once for presenting "supermarket" flowers
And it wasn't even to appologise for anything :baby:

[NighthawkNZ]

This sounds like fun


It does doesn't it :lol: :spanking: :Pokey:

[smokeyging]

PHHHHsssssstttt... you female should leave the seat up for the guys why should we have to pick it up all the time...??? Why should the guy have to put it down all the time...??? whats the difference its not hard either way??? Equal opportunities and all.... :scratch: I thought you lot can multi task... obviously not that well??? aload of brain rot.... :dodge:


:beer: :lol: :baby: :done:


Oh hi :D

well girls, theres something in that,...i would'nt want to sit on a wet dunny seat......

[Lissa]

well girls, theres something in that,...i would'nt want to sit on a wet dunny seat......Actually my son forgets to put the seat up before going to the toilet sometimes (hes seven) and no I don’t LIKE sitting on a wet dunny seat! A way to fix the dunny problem, why don’t you guys go to the loo sitting down!! See problem fixed! And no I am not taking the piss:lol:

[NighthawkNZ]

Actually my son forgets to put the seat up before going to the toilet sometimes (hes seven) and no I don’t LIKE sitting on a wet dunny seat! A way to fix the dunny problem, why don’t you guys go to the loo sitting down!! See problem fixed! And no I am not taking the piss:lol:


i been sitting on my arse all day at work it be the only exercise... errr hang on i change the subject before i myself into trouble <_< ... nice weather we are having :lol: :2thumbsup :cool:

[Zed]

...she had mentally forgiven me before we turned in the previous evening but naturally, I was not informed of this decision and left to squirm....Sheesh Geoff, I thought you would have learned by now not to let the sun go down before you kiss and make up! :whistle:

[slowpoke]

I've learnt over the years that if my lovely lady wants my opinion she'll give it to me.....

[NighthawkNZ]

I've learnt over the years that if my lovely lady wants my opinion she'll give it to me.....


Ahhh you have this too :jerry:

[The Pastor]

You have to treat your women like your credit card - ROUGH!

[The_Dover]

You have to treat your woman like any other human being.

Having a cunt doesn't make you any different from the rest of us.

[Marknz]

btw if your girlfriend/partner asks "Do I look fat in these jeans" the answer is ALWAYS ... NO!!!!

No, no , no... the answer is "If you have to ask , then the answer is 'yes'"

[Kickaha]

btw if your girlfriend/partner asks "Do I look fat in these jeans" the answer is ALWAYS ... NO!!!!

The correct answer is "I can't tell your arse is blocking all the available light" :yes:



Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures you continue to do so.

[NUTBAR]

What is it with woman sulking:( :(
Every time i go out on my bike with out her she sulks, and im talking days of it! if i get up on a saturday morning b for she wakes up, yup you got it, she sulks.
its tough trying to divide my time between my bike & her, sometimes she wins(when its raining :2thumbsup ) sometimes she dosent :innocent:

[andrea]

What is it with woman sulking:( :(
Every time i go out on my bike with out her she sulks, and im talking days of it! if i get up on a saturday morning b for she wakes up, yup you got it, she sulks.
its tough trying to divide my time between my bike & her, sometimes she wins(when its raining :2thumbsup ) sometimes she dosent :innocent:

quote from radio advert "ladies crying is your trump card" hence if you fark your missus off and they take you to court they just could rob you of everything you got. hehe
anyways hmm this is a tough one though only other way to shut her up is to put on some strawberry flavoured lipgloss, pop in a mentor and go down on her, try it out and get back to me (on kb of course) in two weeks time

[imdying]

I got halfway through the second page before I couldn't read any more of this pussy whipped rubbish. Why oh why would you stay with some bitch that doesn't understand you, and doesn't let you do the things you enjoy, is beyond me.

Treat em mean, keep em keen is one thing, but should you really have to? I do wonder if perhaps too many people 'settle' when they pick a partner.

[imdying]

Been there done that. Got separated, had a ball. Started dating 'Her' again - this time round - no bullshit. No hiding what I want to say or what she wants to say. If she sees that I'm busy doing something she'll either interupt (and get a reply so she knows I've heard her) or do something else. Good communication is a two way street.Now that's what I'm talking about... if she doesn't listen, just leave her!

[onearmedbandit]

I got halfway through the second page before I couldn't read any more of this pussy whipped rubbish. Why oh why would you stay with some bitch that doesn't understand you, and doesn't let you do the things you enjoy, is beyond me.

Treat em mean, keep em keen is one thing, but should you really have to? I do wonder if perhaps too many people 'settle' when they pick a partner.


*snigger*.......*bursts out laughing*.....*on the floor in tears now bwahahahahaha!!*

[Titanium]

Concessions to go out riding, fark, time to trade up (or down) or in ......... the woman that is ..... .

I would do anything to stop my wife and children talking to me ......

I kick them out and they refuse to leave ......

Drive them out in to the country and drop them off ..... they find their way home eventually .......

I actually enjoy my 10 - 12 hour work days ........ and 2 or so nights away from home for work each week .........

:hug:

[Hillbilly]

After reading this thread, it makes me glad I'm still single!! I get to do what I want, when I want, and with who I want! The only limiting factor is the cost.
:whistle:

[cowboyz]

My Girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch the other night and my girlfriend got shitty at me for some reason. I said "What is your problem?" to which she replied "Nothing" in that "Everything is my problem" tone. To which I unleashed the ultimate tactic, my response "Whatever, go cook me some fucken' eggs woman". The shock of that comment made her forget why she was in a grump - but wait theres more - she actually cooked me bacon and eggs on toast.

Blackbird, I think you need to adopt a new approach, woman are always evolving their tactics :spanking:

I tried that once. It wasn't that bad. The dog was nice enough to share his bed.........

[NighthawkNZ]

My Girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch the other night and my girlfriend got shitty at me for some reason. I said "What is your problem?" to which she replied "Nothing" in that "Everything is my problem" tone. To which I unleashed the ultimate tactic, my response "Whatever, go cook me some fucken' eggs woman". The shock of that comment made her forget why she was in a grump - but wait theres more - she actually cooked me bacon and eggs on toast.


I tried that... we both ended up pissing ourselves laffing our arses off... :baby:

[Swoop]

In the words of Lord Flasheart of the Royal Flying Corps:

Flash:
You should treat your aircraft like you treat your woman.
George:
So you should take your plane out to dinner and a movie?
Flash:
No, get in her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back!

Blackadder, Series 4, "Private Plane".

[Indiana_Jones]

*tongue in cheek* See the major problem with men is that you can't multi-task.

Tis' better to get one thing right, then to get many wrong :2thumbsup

-Indy

[imdying]

After reading this thread, it makes me glad I'm still single!! I get to do what I want, when I want, and with who I want! The only limiting factor is the cost.
:whistle:No no no! Marriage is great! Just don't be a cunt struck idiot and rush into it... find the right girl for you :yes: Any girl that makes you suck up so you can go for a ride, isn't the right girl :no:

[Cookie]

I left before I had to explain to the cops that "I killed her because I thought she was a burglar".

Two reasons:

1. I am sure the cops have heard that before.
2. She wasn't worth spending 10 years or more in prison over.

Take no shit.

[buellbabe]

After reading this thread, it makes me glad I'm still single!! I get to do what I want, when I want, and with who I want! The only limiting factor is the cost.
:whistle:

Couldn't agree more!
And I also agree with another comment made about someones wife/partner moaning whenever they go out on the bike... get a new lady.

My Ex got the hump one day and said "f**k this, I'm over bikes"... I said "really? suddenly I'm over you, theres the door"

:bye: :banana: