ceebie13
3rd November 2006, 08:01
Back in 1970something I had a Kawasaki Z1000MKII (if you view my post in this thread www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=37879&page=2 you'll see a pic of it lurking there with other old bikes). Now in its day this bike was a bit quick - particularly in a straight line. I cant speak for the corners cos I'm a wuss. Anyway one quiet Sunday evening I decided to put this to the test on the M4 in Berkshire. Silly me. Unbeknown to me at the time, the Thames Valley Police were/still are reknowned in the UK as being tough on "excessive speed". Anyway to move this tale on a bit I was nabbed by a jam butty doing 104mph. (I was subsequently served with a summons and had my day in court). But two weeks after the incident I had the misfortune to run out of petrol on the M40 just coming into London at about midnight. My Mrs and I had been visiting my Dad who is very generous with his Scotch. Stranded as we were, we decided that the Mrs would look after the bike and I would go seek help/petrol. As I walked along the hard shoulder, a Noddy car pulled up. The copper advised me that it was an offence to walk on the carriageway and that the Highway Patrol guys monitoring the off-ramp a couple of hundred yards away wouldn't take too kindly to me looming out of the darkness on foot. So I prepared my story and walked up to them. I explained my predicament and apologised profusely for walking along the motorway. They looked at each other, grinned and said with a sharp intake of breath, "Oh dear, the nearest petrol is about five miles away. Long walk isn't it sir?" I then explained about the Mrs who was guarding the bike. "Jesus Christ!" they said. At that point I was told to jump in the back, the tree light was switched on and we screeched up to the Mrs who by now was leaning against the bike with a fag on! She was told to get in aswell. The coppers had decided to take us to get some petrol. We started to natter about things... my Mrs (still slightly lubricated by Dad's scotch) even asked if she could try one of their hats on!! Anyway during the conversation one of the cops said "You do realise, Sir, that we could nick you for running out of fuel on a motorway?" I responded with a further apology and said something like "that would be the least of my worries" - meaning that I was due to go to court for exceeding the ton on the M4 two weeks earlier. The copper who was driving looked at me in his rear view mirror and said " I know, mate, I can smell it on your breath!!!!" (oops!). Well, they took us to petrol station, waited while I got a can of fuel, drove us back to the bike and waited till I had got it started again. As I was adding the last drops...one of the cops got out of his car, walked up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and said "Just remember you caught us in a good mood...and take that can back!"
I'm surprised he didn't finish off with "now fuck off!" but he left it at that.
Me? I went home and washed me pants!
I'm surprised he didn't finish off with "now fuck off!" but he left it at that.
Me? I went home and washed me pants!