Trying to explain it "the right way"

[placidfemme]

A Tongan lady at my work has a 20 year old son... Not being racist or mean to anyone... they live in South Auckland (Otara) and she is forever coming into work bitching and monaing about some illegal thing her son has recently done...

Now the latest... she came into work yesterday bitching cause her son didn't come home all weekend and she's worried about him... then at about lunchtime yesterday her youngest daughter called her to tittle tale (as kids do) that "boy" (what she calls her son... boy) had come home and had stitches above his left eye and his eye was swollen shut...

Today she comes in and tells me that he was riding a mates bike over the weekend and fell off (resulting in the above injuries). He didn't come home because he was scared of her reaction to his injuries...

Anyway... now she is having a HUGE bitch fest about bikes and how she refuses to let her son get a bike, and how all he can talk about now is getting one...

I tried to tell her that whether she approved of his "riding" or not... he's obviously going to do it anyway (judging by all the illegal crap he's done... why not throw a bike into the equation too).

I told her that the only way she can protect him, is to.... thats right...

Support him... maybe even buy him a helmet for x-mas (guessing he doesn't have one since he wasn't wearing one when he binned). I tried to explain to her that (a) if she supported him he may not get into it because he may have only done it because "he's not aloud to"... type rebel thing... or (b) at least have the reasurrance that despite that he's doing something she hates he is protected as much as possible (ie gear).

I also said to her that if he is serious, and he does buy a bike to get him to come into work and meet me, so I can organise a little ride with him and give him an alternative group to ride with (myself obviously to start off with then KB) so he learns (mostly) to be a responsible rider as opposed to his mates who obviously don't give a shit about gear or safety... more so about look I can go 120kph up the road with no gear on and fall off...

I know I'm not really explaining this right (trying to be quick so the boss doesn't throw a tanty)...

Do you think I took the right approach?

She's still dead against it, as most newbie riders friends/familys are.

Maybe its just the biker mentality I have...

[mstriumph]

well done that girl!!

bling for that .......:yes:

[ManDownUnder]

Good move mate... very good move.

[bistard]

Yes,well done,I think that was a very good approach,I hope its not wasted!!!

[crashe]

Well he is over twenty so he can do as he wishes......

But in saying that Tongans do tend to do as they are told by their elders to a degree.

But good on you for trying to help the lad out... and to help his mum cope with her son doing what he is gonna do anyway.

By getting the lad to come into your work (during your lunch break) find out what gear he does have..... if any....... just by chatting to him you will find out how much he knows... plus if he has his Learners or any other bike license (restricted or full).

Good luck.

[iwilde]

He most likely got the injury fighting and used the bike as a cover-up.

[McJim]

So long as she realises you were trying to help and not just trying to interfere.

I never get involved between family members - that way lies madness.

Nice try though,

[Maha]

Yes Tammy you done the right thing....keep at it though, if this young dude will sign up to KB? that can only be a good thing, it is a mothers natural reaction though...mine did the same, but then rang me a year later to say 'enjoy your motorbike'...what changed her mind?..i wont go into the on here but i will say is that she realised life is tooooooooo short. :rockon:

[Switch]

He most likely got the injury fighting and used the bike as a cover-up.

I second that

[LilSel]

I second that

Thirded....

EDIT: but if for real... then good on ya for offering to help out :)

[Bend-it]

Tell his mum to tell him that there's this hot lesbian chick at work who wants to meet him and show him how to ride!

He'll be there in no time! ;)

[Skyryder]

that "boy" (what she calls her son... boy) had come home and had stitches above his left eye and his eye was swollen shut...

Today she comes in and tells me that he was riding a mates bike over the weekend and fell off (resulting in the above injuries). He didn't come home because he was scared of her reaction to his injuries...


Sounds (looks?) like he's been in a fight. Reason he did not come home was it took him that long to come up with an excuse either that or he's been in the slammer.

Tell the mother you think it's bullshit and ask to look at the bike.

It's bollocks I tells ya.

[Skyryder]

Well he is over twenty so he can do as he wishes......

But in saying that Tongans do tend to do as they are told by their elders to a degree.
And lie like shit to stop getting a 'clip' around the ears.

Skyryder

[iwilde]

And lie like shit to stop getting a 'clip' around the ears.

Skyryder

Or the jandal!

[NhuanH]

Or the jandal!
So you can get jandalled without being on the bike??

[Clivoris]

Whacha gonna do when he turns up on a mini chopper?:mellow:

[placidfemme]

The bike is not his, it belongs to his mate... and he doesn't have any bike gear, apparantly he is looking at buying the bike he binned on (don't know what type of bike it is... but guessing its a little rangi)...

My workmate doesn't mind me butting my nose in... lol we're talked about worse personal things then her son riding a bike (ir robbery... drugs... etc) the sad part is that she freaked out more about her son riding a bike then she did about him taking/dealing drugs at one point... and another time when the cops where after him for robbery (turned out to be his mate not him...) and so forth...

I think she spoke to me about it because she knows I ride and even though shes dead against him riding, maybe she was hoping I'd take her side...

As to the comments about him being in a fight, no, cause if it was a fight he would have said so... he's very proud about his achievements as to who he's bashed and so forth... (you get to learn a lot about someones family when you've been working with them for nearly 2 years)

[LilSel]

Whacha gonna do when he turns up on a mini chopper?:mellow:

*bling* :laugh:
lol

[placidfemme]

Whacha gonna do when he turns up on a mini chopper?:mellow:

I'd laugh at him lol... and then try to be nice

[scumdog]

As to the comments about him being in a fight, no, cause if it was a fight he would have said so... he's very proud about his achievements as to who he's bashed and so forth... (you get to learn a lot about someones family when you've been working with them for nearly 2 years)


And if he had lost the fight and been bashed would he have been so forthcoming???:wait:

[Squeak the Rat]

And if he had lost the fight and been bashed would he have been so forthcoming???:wait:

Especially if it was the cops :innocent:

[LilSel]

:laugh:.... oh dear :dodge:

[Indiana_Jones]

I agree with you're approach Placid, let's hope it works :)



She's still dead against it, as most newbie riders friends/familys are.

That wasn't the case with me I can say, thank God!....my old man pushed me onto the bike after I said I was interested lol


but some folks, yea, they hate 'em. One of brother's mates is like 22 and his old man won't let them touch them, says he will disown him if he does :mellow:

-Indy

[Pwalo]

Just let her bitch. Sorry but you aren't going to change her opinion.

That sounds like a strange injury to get falling off a bike as well.