How do I relax around my twat (motorcyclist) boss?

[Steam]

How do I relax around my twat (motorcyclist) boss?

I work on a boat, and it's me and the idiot skipper.
He's a twat. A motorcyclist, but a twat anyway.
He's been done for drunk riding and lost his license, rides a 400cc on the learner's license he's had for years, and he thinks he's hot shit. But that's not the problem.

Every day at work he tells the same stories and rants on about the same old stuff, how the company could do this or that better, how the other skippers and workers are morons. We tell him he's said it before, but he just repeats it anyway.

And worst of all he micro-manages things like the vacuuming... "No, don't use the vacuum cleaner like that, do it in long strokes, and make sure you don't get the power cord tangled." or "Do the dishes under the tap, no use in wasting water on a whole sink."

It makes me SO ANGRY! I get all trembly with rage because I hate being lectured and told what to do all the time by someone who knows less than me. I am on the verge of quitting.

He will never change, he is a lost cause, so how do I change my attitude, or relax, to be able to work around him? I only have to tolerate him six more months before I get a news writing job somewhere, hopefully in the South Island.

Any advice would be gratefully recieved.

[Disco Dan]

TRY THIS DUDE:

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Maybe then he will see things your way?

[crashe]

Well if he is a member of KB then he will read this...... that may help you out.


Otherwise, record the whole conversation and play it back over the loud speakers for everyone else to hear what he is saying, plus so that he can hear it as well.

Once a twat always a twat.....

Bite your tongue and say yes sir no sir....... do it and switch off......
You will be moving on and then he is out of your hair for good.




Good luck.

[jimbo600]

Throw him overboard.

[NighthawkNZ]

Dear Steam...

One reason I have no emotions... I don't care of give a rats arse about stuff like that...

When I was in the Navy I had the same crap, being told what to do by a young ensign that knew nothing... All you can do is bite your toung, do as he says long strokes for vaccuming wish dishes under the (which actually uses more water if doing all the dishes) then he has nothing to complain about...

However I understand you can only take so much, so the choice is yours there are other jobs out there... or see if you can get a transfer to another boat...

Signed
Abby

[Ixion]

Well, if you don't care about the job, you can always use the old Army barrack room insolence thing. When he says "vacuum with long strokes etc", just say "Oh, yes, Sir, oh yes that's much better, I must remember that, Sir. Thank you , Sir". Then, next time you come to do the vacuuming , you say "Oh, Sir, how was it that you told me to vacuum - it was so much better but I can't remember how it was you told me ... Oh, thank you, Sir" And the next time, and the next time ... Same for each thing. If he twigs he's having the mickey taken, he'll either blow up (hard for him to do much though, cos you're so respectful about it), or realise he's being a twat. If he doesn't catch on, you're laughing silently at him, so you don't feel bad.

[Steam]

Hmm, some good suggestions so far. I especially like the smoking one, although pot and boats don't mix. The other that appeals is Throw Him Overboard. Because if there was nobody else on the boat, no-one would ever find out.

Only 6 months left to go!

[RT527]

Hmm, some good suggestions so far. I especially like the smoking one, although pot and boats don't mix. The other that appeals is Throw Him Overboard. Because if there was nobody else on the boat, no-one would ever find out.

Only 6 months left to go!

Cept the whole world , cause you just posted it on a public forum...so overboard is out...

[Paul in NZ]

Mutiney...

Then sail off to an uncharted island and hide out for a few years while you write your book.

[SlashWylde]

The fact that you recognise that he will never change is important, and you should definitely move on as soon as you can.

In the mean time keep your focus on the goals ahead of you, and try to view the whole thing as a learning experience in how to deal with difficult people.

When he is irritating you, for example by micro managing every aspect of your work, stop him and explain that you are perfectly capable of carrying out the tasks before you and his constant interference dosent help. He may simply be unaware that his attitude is driving you nuts. Many people aren't cut out to be in leadership positions and most could use constructive feedback from their staff every now and then.

I've been in a similar position before both as a subordinate to a manage of this ilk and as a team leader my self, so I can sympathise with both parties in such situations.

[NighthawkNZ]

Well, if you don't care about the job, you can always use the old Army barrack room insolence thing. When he says "vacuum with long strokes etc", just say "Oh, yes, Sir, oh yes that's much better, I must remember that, Sir. Thank you , Sir". Then, next time you come to do the vacuuming , you say "Oh, Sir, how was it that you told me to vacuum - it was so much better but I can't remember how it was you told me ... Oh, thank you, Sir" And the next time, and the next time ... Same for each thing. If he twigs he's having the mickey taken, he'll either blow up (hard for him to do much though, cos you're so respectful about it), or realise he's being a twat. If he doesn't catch on, you're laughing silently at him, so you don't feel bad.

Got to admit I have used that before and well took him a while to realise he was a complete and utter twat...

[crashe]

Just had a wee thought.... re the vacuuming...

When he moans and groans..... ask him to show you how it is done.
Again stuff it up... and tangle up the cord everytime... again ask him again how it is done... get him to show you..... over and over.......
That way he has done your job for you and you sit back and watch the drongo...

Do the same with washing the dishes.....
He wants you to wash them under the tap
(yep we all know that is wasting water)
but as you do one or two........ leave the water running and go and do something else... then go back and do another few...... again wander off and leave the water running...

He will see it is wasting water..... eventually..

Soon he will click on and leave you alone to do it... or he will get to do your work for you for the next 6 months...

[Finn]

There's always two sides of a story. Maybe you're a slacker and he needs to kick your arse all the time. Next time you're at work, just try a little harder. It won't hurt.

[James Deuce]

Both Slashwylde and Finn have a point.

I had one of those once, so I tried the Finn idea and worked my arse off, furiously crossing "t"'s and dotting "i"'s on the way. It didn't help.

So I moved to another country for a year to get my head back together.

Sounds to me that you need to do the Slashwylde option as soon as possible. It will do your head in and ruin your work ethic if you keep trying to hang in there.

[Steam]

Kudos to SLashWylde, he's a voice of reason, driving home the sensible answers.

Thanks everyone.

[LardEmbargo]

It makes me SO ANGRY! I get all trembly with rage because I hate being lectured and told what to do all the time by someone who knows less than me. I am on the verge of quitting.


Dood. Honestly. Stop It. You don't need a job that makes you feel that way. Life's too short. Even for 6 months. I mean, as long as you're not just all aggrieved cos you keep getting lectured for slacking off (doesn't sound like it, but then I've known useless junior people before who were absolutely convinced their piss-poor performance was all their boss's fault. The working day consisting of a 2hr lunch, 2hrs reading the paper, 10 lots of 10 minute ciggie breaks and 2hrs surfing dating sites had nothing to do with it :) ).

So if you're doing your best at work - you don't reckon there's any way you deserve to be treated like you're stupid - and if it's a job you like apart from Mr Twat (and it sounds like you've stuck at it so far, and are trying to make things work so you can keep sticking at it) then you really need to change something. I think you've had some fair suggestions so far anyway

1) Ignore it. Grit your teeth and stick it out for the remaining 6 months.

2) Try and fix things up. If it's worth trying to sort things out then give it a go. Have a chat with him next time he tries talking to you like an idiot and explain how you've got no problem with constructive criticism but you don't think the way he directs you is all that helpful - you'd much prefer it if maybe he just told you what he wanted doing and then left you to it. If there's a problem with the quality of your work (like, how clean the floor was after you've vacuumed it) then sure, you want to know, but maybe you're old enough to look after the finer points of the actual vacuuming yourself now :)

3) Quit. Go and find something else to do. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. If you've honestly tried to sort it out (or if it's honestly not worth the trouble) then walk away.

4) Bludgeon the fscker about the head and upper body with a Clue-By-Four and have some tragic nautical accident befall him.


Important Note: doing (1) only works if you can genuinely really completely ignore the things he does that wind you up. The point of changing things is to stop you getting wound up - if you find he's still winding you up then (1) isn't working and you need to try (2) or (3).

Or (4).

Or something else.


LardEmbargo - dispensing potentially unsound employment relations advice since 2006

[Steam]

LardEmbargo - dispensing potentially unsound employment relations advice since 2006

Thanks Mr Lard, you speak true.
On other matters, six posts from you so far and you're still speaking rationally. Kiwibiker will be beating that rationality from you within your next 100 posts I wager!
This place is contagious in its madness! Welcome to the site.

EDIT: HOLY CRAP is that YOUR Tesla Coil??? Awesome! What did you build it for? How many volts? More pictures please!

EDIT#2: 500 posts, happy half millenium to me! (note to self, spend less time on internet, more time on bike.)

[smokeyging]

Good workmates are hard to find. sounds like a personality clash. sack your boss, theres plenty of work out there, bush telegraph is an amazing thing

[LardEmbargo]

On other matters, six posts from you so far and you're still speaking rationally.

ah shit was I doing it again? no worries, bit more time I'm sure I'll get the hang of spouting more in the way of bollocks and fit right in :)


HOLY CRAP is that YOUR Tesla Coil???
yes :) it lives in The Subterranean Tesla Laboratory. along with a whole heap of my other junk


What did you build it for?
erm... For? I'm not sure I understand the question :) You mean, like, was there a reason? I just wanted to build one cos a) I thought it looked like a cool thing to make, b) I like making things, c) I didn't know anyone else who'd made one, and d) it makes lightning - why would anyone need another reason :)

It's not actually useful or anything.


How many volts?
maybe about 150kV? bit more? just a guess really, you can't go by the spark length unless you arrange for it to only fire once and then stop, otherwise the next spark just travels along the old one and stretches it out some more.


More pictures please!
there's some stuff at http://hot-streamer.com/drilling/dccoil.html and a couple more photos at http://hot-streamer.com/drilling/dcsparks.html

I was thinking of firing it up for New Years but maybe I won't go plugging it all in in the rain! Have a good one anyway :)

[oldrider]

Try reading your own posts as a stranger and then ask your self, who has the most credibility here, you or the skipper?

I am sorry but you sound like a twat so you are on a hiding to nothing without a strong evidential case.

Now I have spent enough time at sea to know that you are probably right and I have seen enough Skippers that really need medical attention or at least psychiatric help. (it goes with the territory)

You will have to either change your attitude and approach if you want to change the situation because the initial credibility will be with him unless there are a lot of other crew members who are effected the same way too.

Even then the odds are stacked against you so be bloody careful.

Failing that it is a change of ship or a change of job for you. Good luck, John.

PS: I PM'd you about the tractor seat but you didn't reply! I guess you don't really want one then!

[Toaster]

I'd put wasabi in his undies (undies undies TOGS!!)..... and deep heat in his sammies.

[Steam]

Thanks everyone for your sensible suggestions. Wasabi is the best strategy I think.
Now, as I'm slightly afraid he'll pick this time to see what I've been raving about when I talk about Kiwibiker,
can you please not add any more to this thread,
and thus allow it to sink into the obscurity of the archives, never to be seen again except in three thousand years, when a cyber archeologist may be trawling fossilised netspace for clues as to what life was like in 2007.
Oldrider, I'll PM you about the seat tonight. Thanks again all!