Demonic dunny warning

[Shadows]

For fuckssakes this could only happen to me. Really. I'm not kidding. This shit doesn't happen to anybody else. Ever.

I went to our local shopping centre to have a curry for lunch today, and nature called. I wandered down the corridor to the toilets, and the first one I came across was one of those cubicles that requires a button to be pressed for the door to open. I walked in, waited for the door to close, pressed the red locking button, and proceeded to go my business. After a little while, there was a click and the door opened up to reveal a shocked lady and child standing there, agog, looking at me, who happened to be in a rather compromised position right at that moment. Embarrassed, we all were, the mother and child walked away quickly, and I was left waiting the ten seconds to an eternity for the automatic door to close, as more people passed, peering into my cubicle of terror.

After the required expletives were uttered I pressed the locking button again before returning to the toilet to finished what I started. I mean, I was halfway through my business, and I really wasn't prepared to shuffle down the corridor to find another dunny.

Well, fuck me if the exact same thing didn't happen again twenty seconds later!

The result is two embarrassed ladies (to mitigate my own embarrassment I can only hope that they were quietly impressed - it must have been very quietly though), two small children most likely mentally and emotionally scarred for life who will grow up to be mass murderers or rapists, and a slightly soiled pair of underpants.

I called centre management to inform them of their problem and that as a result I had exposed myself to several of their customers, and also asked that they pass on my apologies should any ladies complain about the dirty depraved skinhead biker who was waving his wanger at them and their trembling kids.

I was offered an apology, an assurance they would fix it, and a coffee voucher.

Coffee?!?!?! Like I ever want to have to visit their demonic fucking toilets again!

[ArcherWC]

Thats some funny shit (pun intended)

[ManDownUnder]

I'd insist on a sausage to go with the coffee mate LMAO

Oh no - seriously - that happened?? That's shoking. Ring the news and let them know. They'll get a kick out of it and you'll end up with more than a coffee voucher...

[Shadows]

I'd insist on a sausage to go with the coffee mate LMAO

Oh no - seriously - that happened?? That's shoking. Ring the news and let them know. They'll get a kick out of it and you'll end up with more than a coffee voucher...

LOL, nah, bugger that. I'd rather something else for my fifteen minutes of fame!

[James Deuce]

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahaha(snork)hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah (pfffffffft)ahahahahahahahahahahah.

I'm sorry.

Hahahahahahaha (something just broke).

:clap:

[jrandom]

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahaha(snork)hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah (pfffffffft)ahahahahahahahahahahah.

I'm sorry.

Hahahahahahaha (something just broke).

Yeah. What he said.

[Lias]

Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

*tears in my eyes IRL*

[ghost]

Thanks, made my day that did.......... :yes:

[Goblin]

the dirty depraved skinhead biker who was waving his wanger at them and their trembling kids.

:gob: :shit: OMG! What sort of 'Nature Call' has one waving the wanger about?





Norty Shady!:nono:

[sels1]

[LEFT]Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahaha(snork)hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah (pfffffffft)ahahahahahahahahahahah.
]

What he said.

Actually, nearly had that happen to me in a servo in Napier, fortunatly was just zipping up when mother and child opened door - dont know who got the biggest surprise - bloody sure that door was locked!

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

Thanks for sharing that - still laughing - did the loos play music - the ones in Dannevirke do - they allow you 10 minutes in there!!

[judecatmad]

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahaha(snork)hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah (pfffffffft)ahahahahahahahahahahah.

I'm sorry.

Hahahahahahaha (something just broke).

:clap:


Yeah, definitely what he said!

Sorry for your pain and all but maaaan, that's funny reading!

[bistard]

Yup,thats funny
Keep us posted on anymore embarassing stuff that happens to you

[Wasp]

Bahahaha nice one mate, I dont know the toilets your talking about though?

I'll take the coffee voucher if you want :D

[Shewolf]

What he said.

Actually, nearly had that happen to me in a servo in Napier, fortunatly was just zipping up when mother and child opened door - dont know who got the biggest surprise - bloody sure that door was locked!

could've been surprisingly painful had that zipping procedure gone wrong in the shock of the moment...

[dawnrazor]

something like that happened to me in work once;

I had settled in for the long haul and had a stack of quality magazines at hand, anyway I must have lost track of time 'cus next thing I know the light goes out 'cus its on a motion sensor. I'm in total darkness, can't see a thing and the sensor is on the other side of the door by the sinks....cue me opening the cubicle door and waving frantically at the air with a NZ womans weekly whilst holding up my pants with the other hand, when my boss walks in......eeek and the lights turn on and I'm like a rabbit caught in the headlights with me pants around my knees and my todger flapping in the wind.......to be honest I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, and like proper blokes we have never mentioned it to each other...thank f#@k

[The Stranger]

For fuckssakes this could only happen to me. Really. I'm not kidding. This shit doesn't happen to anybody else. Ever.

I went to Westfield Queensgate to have a curry for lunch today, and nature called. I wandered down the corridor to the toilets, and the first one I came across was one of those cubicles that requires a button to be pressed for the door to open. I walked in, waited for the door to close, pressed the red locking button, and proceeded to go my business. After a little while, there was a click and the door opened up to reveal a shocked lady and child standing there, agog, looking at me, who happened to be in a rather compromised position right at that moment. Embarrassed, we all were, the mother and child walked away quickly, and I was left waiting the ten seconds to an eternity for the automatic door to close, as more people passed, peering into my cubicle of terror.



I must be an old cunt - so they have auto doors and electric locks on the toilets now days?

[Storm]

Massivly impressed that you are going (even more) public with this.
Dunno if I'd post it up

PS sorry abut this but
bwahhahahahahahahah

[Macktheknife]

"And the Police have advised that the 'Dunny demon' was this week in the Hutt valley area, patrons of public toilets in Malls are warned to ensure that doors are in fact locked before proceeding with their use of the facilities, as severe embarssment has occurred. We will follow up on more of this story as it becomes available."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, bling sent.

[MyGSXF]

Ferk that's funny dude!!! :killingme :clap: :killingme

Thanks for the laugh.. :Punk:

Jen :rockon:

[98tls]

Fuck thats a great read........still laughin.......pretty much had the same thing happen to me in Waimate........:gob: waimate for fucks sake.......if it had have been a good old boy instead of a chinese women standing there when the door opened..(by itself) who knows what could have happened......thinking THAT movie and the guy squealing like a pig....:angry:

[Drum]

Laughed? I almost shat!

[Grahameeboy]

Maybe you need to rename your site name to shatmeister....sorry just me I guess...........

[Shadows]

Massivly impressed that you are going (even more) public with this.
Dunno if I'd post it up


I thought it'd be good for a laugh on a Friday.