If God rode a motorbike

[FROSTY]

I wonder what it is?
I had a mental image of God riding with me and he was on a old xs650

[Posh Tourer :P]

Whaddya mean "if"???

[FROSTY]

oops--Ok ill fix that one up --

[Jackrat]

Probably have a whole stable of cool machines,and of course an SX would be in there :niceone:

[Ghost Lemur]

I wonder what it is?
I had a mental image of God riding with me and he was on a old xs650

So you think Jackrat is God?? :killingme

[Two Smoker]

Well it would be the mighty CT110...... or maybe an RG150 :whistle: :wacko:

[Mongoose]

Well it would be the mighty CT110...... or maybe an RG150 :whistle: :wacko:

God rides a Harley
The Devil rides a Guzzi

[Posh Tourer :P]

oops--Ok ill fix that one up --

:D I didn't think you really meant it.....

God would be inclusive and accepting of all brands. Perhaps a Noah-like two bikes from every manufacturer in the ark.... I mean gargre

[Two Smoker]

:D I didn't think you really meant it.....

God would be inclusive and accepting of all brands. Perhaps a Noah-like two bikes from every manufacturer in the ark.... I mean gargre
Nah it would be 2 colours of every bike...... (kind of screwed though with the ZX-6RR.....)

[Skyryder]

God rides a Harley
The Devil rides a Guzzi

Them's words fight'n talk.

Yea and the Devil does all the Goosing. So what do you want to ride a flaccid tail or som'it else.

Whoops Mongoose I just noticed your're one of the devils.

Skyryder

[moko]

God rides a Harley
The Devil rides a Guzzi

Which leaves them both waiting by the side of the road waiting for the breakdown truck to turn up :laugh:

[Mongoose]

Which leaves them both waiting by the side of the road waiting for the breakdown truck to turn up :laugh:

Comments like that give either to option of striking you down :ar15: Tough job making enemies out of those two :thud:

[moko]

Comments like that give either to option of striking you down :ar15: Tough job making enemies out of those two :thud:


They dont scare me,ask Zed :msn-wink:

[Mongoose]

They dont scare me,ask Zed :msn-wink:

Brave or foolish man? :wacko:

[Paul in NZ]

Good news for (semi) modern man…..

You are all wrong....

God does indeed ride a motorcycle and it’s a big white one!! I know this to be so, because I saw him once (sorry girls).

It was late 70’s at the Cold Kiwi, actually the last one before petrol rationing so that would be about 1978 I think. (at the old site when that bike T boned another one – nasty)

I was young, able to drink like a fish and intent on proving it… I finally got to bed after 3 or 4 attempts and found that it is amazing just how fast you can get out of a sleeping bag in a pup tent while the whole lot is spinning around crazily…. Last time that happened and I had finally managed to auto pump my stomach empty, my soon to be new best friend wandered past while I was in my misery and reckoned a nice swig from his bottle of Coke would get that nasty taste outta my mouth…

What a nice man… However, it seemed he had run out of coke a long time earlier in the night as his rum and coke was definitely more rum than coke! Gack! I think he may have been trying to get me drunk (he was too late for that)!

It did the trick though and after another cicuit of the campfire, quickly knocked me flat on my arse for at least a refreshing 30 minutes of sleep… (sigh)

Naturally I had camped right in the middle of the area seemingly reserved for idiots that had to be up really really early to be someplace else really early and the other sort of idiot that can’t help wondering if their bike will start ok after a night in the open so they have to try it and then warm it up for 3 hours… Right next to my tent… Bastards…

I couldn’t take it for long so I crawled through the soggy mess of my tent and poked a grimy breaded face out into the nasty, noisy world of daylight and pain. Nasty!! Unwashed, sore head, double vision set off with bits of carrot in my beard and hair (which is weird because I don’t think I ate any, perhaps a vegetarian threw up on me?)… All around was a sea of MUD…. Inches thick where it was not frozen solid..

Nasty….

Anyway… My vision slowly cleared and the first thing I saw was a pristine, whiter than white (almost glowing) BMW full touring rig being mounted (in the motorcycle sense) by a sprightly old dude in white leathers (with blue accents) and a pair of ultra shiny boots. This was VERY suspicious…. There was either the sun rising behind him or he had a very otherworldly halo!

He glanced at me and I felt most odd… Touched almost… Sanity returned slowly to me and so too my powers of observation returned as I noted there was no mud on the tyres of the BMW…. I was about to ask how could this be so when my riding companion for the trip home to the south island, Big Mike (aka agent of the underworld) wandered over and said “ere, your bikes fell over inna mud. We bedda pick it up.” And so I lost my chance…

When I finally, I looked back and the Beemer had gone leaving nothing behind…. Not even wheel marks in the mud…

It was a life changing moment… (I tells ya)

Mind you, it was slightly ruined several hours later by running out of gas 50 miles back down the track because in my befuddled state I forgot to put petrol in the bike and Big Mike had to tow me with my wooly scarf… Perhaps someone was trying to tell me something?

Happy days…

Still, if nothing else, I’ll have something to chat about when I meet up again with the heavenly one, although not soon I hope…

Paul N

(ps, Mike reckon it was not God ‘cos he rode a Norton and was camped next to him but possibly it was Santa Claus on holiday. Mike reckons it’s common to get the 2 confused…)

[kerryg]

Paul., that's some of the best writing I've read on this site and MUCH better than most of what you see in magazines.

[Hitcher]

Moses allegedly rode a Triumph... God's ride would need to be something more omnipotent. I suspect he rides pillion on a Goldwing.

[jrandom]

Spooky, Paul.

And I have to ask this.

Has anyone else, aside from me (and now Paul) had the 'regained consciousness and thought "but I didn't eat THAT"' moment?

Mine was kiwifruit.

[Mongoose]

Spooky, Paul.

And I have to ask this.

Has anyone else, aside from me (and now Paul) had the 'regained consciousness and thought "but I didn't eat THAT"' moment?

Mine was kiwifruit.

Save all that worry for imprtant things, there is a pervert that goes around thowing handfulls of(usually carrots) strange food into vomit. :puke: . This person is never seen by you or anyone you know but must get some perverse humour from doing it.

[Velox]

Fristly, can I just say that that is so true about the vege-man.
Secondly, I would like to let you all in on a bit of my knowledge on God's bike: I once read an article (which I cut out and kept), I think it was in Two Wheels maybe, and it was about Plato's theory (of reality?) that everything on earth is just an example of the true thing. For example the chair that we have at our computer is just as much of a chair as the totally different one that we have in front of the tv. They both have the essence of being a 'chair', and we can identify them both as chairs even though they're totally different. This means that there is a kind of 'ideal chair' in theory, of which all chairs are descended from.
Mate - just imagine that with bikes! God would have the 'ideal bike' of which all bikes are merely dull reflections of!! Ohhhh. It would be beyond our imagination. :niceone: Sorry - just got to go and wipe up the dribble.

[Zed]

...Mate - just imagine that with bikes! God would have the 'ideal bike' of which all bikes are merely dull reflections of!! Ohhhh. It would be beyond our imagination. :niceone:...
Aha! Now we're getting somewhere...Velox with a vision! :msn-wink:

[Mongoose]

Aha! Now we're getting somewhere...Velox with a vision! :msn-wink:

Because he has a scratch free clear visor? :bleh:

[MikeL]

Nice story, Paul (and very well written) but you must have been hallucinating as God would never ride a BMW. As everyone knows God is (or at least used to be) an Englishman, so your friend Mike was probably right about the guy on the Norton.

On the other hand I could imagine St Paul on a BMW...

[MikeL]

Hey Velox (is that as in Vauxhall? Where were you conceived, I wonder...
Hmm... sorry about that...)
Plato's theory about ideal forms is all very intriguing but don't get too excited. The downside is that everything on this side of reality is imperfect, so if you ever do come face to face with the perfect bike you'll be dead. Or at least your body will be gone. You'll have no arse to feel the contours of a perfect seat, no wrist to twist the perfect throttle, and nothing to lean into the perfect curve. As pure spirit all you'll have is the transcendental exaltation of knowing perfect form and perfect oneness with the divine presence. Can't compare with riding an imperfect bike down an imperfect Highway 22...

[Paul in NZ]

There is a great book called Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman.

While it does not specify what vehicle God drives / rides it is very specific about the vehicle Crowley the Demon uses... if you only ever read one book of English humour in your entire miserable life... read this one... It's even got bikers in it...

Some quotes...

Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.

(refering to The eight Bikers of the Apocalypse)

Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking towards Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty To Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You've Given Them A Good Thumping but secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People travelled with them.

"This isn't how I imagined it, chaps," said War. "I haven't been waiting for thousands of years just to fiddle around with bits of wire. It's not what you'd call dramatic. Albrecht Duerer didn't waste his time doing woodcuts of the Four Button-Pressers of the Apocalypse, I do know that." -- Armageddon delayed by technical difficulties

It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but there's the weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is complete and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime.

Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

Enjoy....

[Velox]

Because he has a scratch free clear visor? :bleh:
Oi - she has a tinted visior, lives in an unlit street and rides at night in the rain (no car). So not a lot of vision! Nah - if it's too dodgy I swap it over.

[Paul in NZ]

Hey Velox (is that as in Vauxhall? Where were you conceived, I wonder...
Hmm... sorry about that...)
Plato's theory about ideal forms is all very intriguing but don't get too excited. The downside is that everything on this side of reality is imperfect, so if you ever do come face to face with the perfect bike you'll be dead. Or at least your body will be gone. You'll have no arse to feel the contours of a perfect seat, no wrist to twist the perfect throttle, and nothing to lean into the perfect curve. As pure spirit all you'll have is the transcendental exaltation of knowing perfect form and perfect oneness with the divine presence. Can't compare with riding an imperfect bike down an imperfect Highway 22...

Ah! A potential Guzzi owner.... You'd fit right in...

There was a book written by a mad Guzzi woman called "The Perfect Vehicle" all about bikin' ridin' lovin and life.... I always thought it a VERY odd title for a book featuring Guzzis???

Afterall... It's the perfect, imperfections that make Guzzis so perfect.. Um, I mean...

Bother...

[Velox]

Hey Velox (is that as in Vauxhall? Where were you conceived, I wonder...
Hmm... sorry about that...)
Plato's theory about ideal forms is all very intriguing but don't get too excited. The downside is that everything on this side of reality is imperfect, so if you ever do come face to face with the perfect bike you'll be dead. Or at least your body will be gone. You'll have no arse to feel the contours of a perfect seat, no wrist to twist the perfect throttle, and nothing to lean into the perfect curve. As pure spirit all you'll have is the transcendental exaltation of knowing perfect form and perfect oneness with the divine presence. Can't compare with riding an imperfect bike down an imperfect Highway 22...
But that's great news! If everything's imperfect on Earth - then woohoo - my beeeautiful new stable of RSV's, Blades, R1's, etc... etc... are stilll as amazing as they are, even 'perfect' to us now but then there's still better to come! There's no perfect bike yet anyway since there's always new technology and new models, so we're all trying to work towards this 'ideal' bike, even if we'll never get there. It doesn't make our 'perfect' bike on Earth any less. Yeah well, as for the physical vs spiritual thing - I personally reckon there is a physical element after we die. But that might be taking the thread a bit too seriously getting into that. ;) But if God can make physical stuff then he'll have a physical bike! Knees hugging a tank plastered in carbon fibre, beautiful smooth clutch, not to mention the aerodynamics when you pop down behind the screen! As for the road - corners will be awesome - no gravel, no cars, no shoddy surfaces (aka newly sealed corners up the top of the Rimutakas), and no cops - bliss!
PS - nah, the Vauxhall thing was just a coincidence.

[Mongoose]

Oi - she has a tinted visior, lives in an unlit street and rides at night in the rain (no car). So not a lot of vision! Nah - if it's too dodgy I swap it over.


Ooops, my most 'umble apologies M'am. :doh: in large doses to me

[moko]

As everyone knows God is (or at least used to be) an Englishman

Was is the word Mike,now,like other businesses in Britain your prayers get re-routed to a call-centre in Karachi where the guy who picks the phone up will say"Hi,God speaking............"but in reality is a guy called Raj working for the price of a bag of sugar a week.God meanwhile is down at the Job-centre,as a look at any newspaper or news programme will prove.

[moko]

[QUOTE=MikeL] As pure spirit all you'll have is the transcendental exaltation of knowing perfect form and perfect oneness with the divine presence. [QUOTE]

Mike,wish you`d put that in the Religious Ravings post because that`s sort of what I was trying to get across there.Dont want to carry on too far here with a de-rail but I read that "original" Christianity is thought to have come out of Alexandria and was heavily influenced by Platonic thought amongst other things.