Women are like apples [Archive]

dasser

6th February 2007, 20:21

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the
ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right person to come along, the one who is brave
enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to
women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with.

Share this with all the good apples you know.

{ This came from an apple friend of mine, she thought it funny.. go figure...dasser }:zzzz:

klingon

6th February 2007, 20:23

that explains it... I've always wondered why blokes keep whistling at me and saying "COR!" :innocent:

Ixion

6th February 2007, 20:36

I don't understand it. :scratch: Please explain

Karma

6th February 2007, 20:42

that explains it... I've always wondered why blokes keep whistling at me and saying "COR!" :innocent:

Or it could be that you've got tits.

FROSTY

6th February 2007, 20:47

yep women are like apples-- lots of em are rotton to the core and have lil worms eating away at em

MadDuck

6th February 2007, 20:52

yep women are like apples-- lots of em are rotton to the core and have lil worms eating away at em

Or maybe you just met the wrong ones

Maha

6th February 2007, 20:59

Or maybe you just met the wrong ones

Shut up Maha, control yourself.......:shutup:

Ixion

6th February 2007, 21:11

Or it could be that you've got tits.

Yeah, that'll do it everytime. But apples don't have tits, I'm sure I would have noticed.

oldrider

6th February 2007, 21:13

yep women are like apples-- lots of em are rotton to the core and have lil worms eating away at em

Personal choice and I chose to be a little worm all my life! :bleh: and :ride:! Great life, would do all again too! :yes: Cheers John.

SixPackBack

6th February 2007, 21:15

Apples!!.....once consumed they are forgotten about immediately....until next time.:rockon:

MadDuck

6th February 2007, 21:20

Yeah, that'll do it everytime. But apples don't have tits, I'm sure I would have noticed.

They dont? Maybe need to clean ya glasses Ixion

klingon

6th February 2007, 22:07

... and choose carefully, because the one you pick might turn out to be a little tart

Karma

6th February 2007, 22:12

... and choose carefully, because the one you pick might turn out to be a little tart

If I've picked carefully then she will be ;)

In the words of the immortal Usher 'we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed'

KLOWN

6th February 2007, 22:39

read my tag line

warren35

7th February 2007, 21:40

Yeah, that'll do it everytime. But apples don't have tits, I'm sure I would have noticed.

they are both made to go inside my mouth though

oldrider

8th February 2007, 12:52

In the words of the immortal Usher 'we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed'

Every lady, in the street or otherwise, "is" a freak in bed, they are just waiting for the guy's who know where their button box is and know which order to push them in.

They (ladies) don't come with a service manual or riding instruction book, you just have to keep working them out individually, that's what makes them interesting and such a challenge! :yes:

What a shit of a world (no pun intended) it would be without women. You just gotta :love: them, don't ya?. Cheers John.

James Deuce

8th February 2007, 13:04

Blah, blah, blah
Dribble bottomed rant about some apple-woman-thing.

I think I'm going to be sick.

James Deuce

8th February 2007, 13:05

You just gotta :love: them, don't ya?. Cheers John.

No, you have to put up with them. Just like managers.

Paul in NZ

8th February 2007, 13:25

Humpf.... I thought this was going to be about crisp and juicy n stuff...

Jantar

8th February 2007, 13:38

The ones I like are slightly firm, sweet, and get juicier the more I eat them. :bleh:

oldrider

8th February 2007, 14:46

No, you have to put up with them. Just like managers.

Not a good day at work today Jim? Wait until you retire it really gets rough then!

Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!

Now, what exactly was the problem you had with your manager?

Oh damn it, here they come again :doctor: Got to move on, see yah Jim. :cry: Back to the asylum.

Paul in NZ

8th February 2007, 14:51

Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!.

Hmm... Your memory getting worse John? Can't even remember when you last had sex so have to keep doing it? :dodge:

Souinds like a mighty fine way to go - where do i sign up?

Deano

8th February 2007, 14:54

If c**nts grew on trees, you'd throw stones at girls.

bistard

8th February 2007, 15:09

Not a good day at work today Jim? Wait until you retire it really gets rough then!

Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!

Now, what exactly was the problem you had with your manager?

Oh damn it, here they come again :doctor: Got to move on, see yah Jim. :cry: Back to the asylum.

Yes,sorry old chap,but as far as the "sex" goes,by yourself does not count!!

Paul in NZ

8th February 2007, 16:04

Yes,sorry old chap,but as far as the "sex" goes,by yourself does not count!!

You have obviously not met John's wife - shes a hottie (Tell her I mean that in a nice way OK John) and a damn'd fine lady to boot..... She is so polite - she was even nice to me! Wow!

doc

8th February 2007, 16:18

Fatjim

8th February 2007, 16:24

Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!

I bet the bike doesn't cool down much between rides huh? And is riding the bike solo like the sex?

oldrider

8th February 2007, 20:34

I bet the bike doesn't cool down much between rides huh? And is riding the bike solo like the sex?

When you have to take Viagra for solo sex, the tanks getting empty. :shit: They are the blue ones right? :blip: John.

KLOWN

8th February 2007, 20:58

If I've picked carefully then she will be ;)

In the words of the immortal Usher 'we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed'

pffft usher, try hes just taking the words off snoop dogg and ice cube
usher, what a pussy

Toaster

8th February 2007, 21:39

I've tended to find women are exactly like apples, they have always ended up being a disappointment. I like banana's but that admission would make me sound gay - which I am definitely not!!

...keep ya peanut butter to yourself Dover.

Paul in NZ

9th February 2007, 10:11

pffft usher, try hes just taking the words off snoop dogg and ice cube
usher, what a pussy

bwahahaha... Oh god... That quote and the basic idea behind it date back just a little earlier than of pop song...

A woman should be a lady in the drawing room, a chef in the kitchen and a courtesan in the bedroom... The other side of the coin equally applies to men...

WRT

9th February 2007, 11:30

A woman should be a lady in the drawing room, a chef in the kitchen and a courtesan in the bedroom... The other side of the coin equally applies to men...

So you're saying a man should be a chef in the drawing room, a courtesan in the kitchen and a lady in the bedroom? If you're right, then boy have I been doing things wrong all these years!

Paul in NZ

9th February 2007, 11:48

So you're saying a man should be a chef in the drawing room, a courtesan in the kitchen and a lady in the bedroom? If you're right, then boy have I been doing things wrong all these years!

Yes - that might explain things...

Its a complex situation but fortunately for you I can help. My consultancy charges are reasonable and satisfaction is 100% guaranteed (I promise I will be 100% satisfied once you have paid my outrageous bill)

KLOWN

9th February 2007, 22:37

bwahahaha... Oh god... That quote and the basic idea behind it date back just a little earlier than of pop song...

A woman should be a lady in the drawing room, a chef in the kitchen and a courtesan in the bedroom... The other side of the coin equally applies to men...

Yup, I think the FIRST person to come up with it was a guy who goes by the name of GOD, yeah you know it.