A disgusting toddler thread

[jrandom]

I think it's time for potty training.

Claire (Baby Random #1, 2 years and 3 months) wanders out into the kitchen this morning with bare nether regions, "Daddy! Daddy!" waving a clean nappy from the 'XL Girls' Huggies pack. Inspect toddlerly bum, clean as whistle, check down hall, no puddles on carpet, oh well. Pat on head, put new nappy on for her, she disappears into bedroom and reappears with trousers on (the right way round, even).

Think no more of it until Sarah calls me later to advise that she has found a neatly rolled up, poopy, used nappy on the corner of Claire's dresser drawers, accompanied by a ball of (used) nappy wipes with quantities of poop in evidence therein.

I just wish I'd thought to ask whether she'd folded or scrunched.

[FROSTY]

ROTFLMAO--Ahh the joys of bein a daddy.
New parent mistake 101 --NEVER lift your under 3 year old up over your head with no nappy on. They seem to have perfect timing with the pooing and peeing.

[greenhorn]

I know your pain jrandom

Parenting rule #46
When out and about, your childs need to relieve him/her self is in direct proportion to the distance from the nearest toilet.

--------------------------------------------------
Its a long way to the shop if you wanna sausage roll

[MikeL]

Some things are better left unsaid. Some memories are best left undisturbed, buried deep in the blur of early parenthood. You reminded me of one particularly nasty episode involving an explosive evacuation and a Plunket nurse who had just called in "to check up on baby's progress even though I'm off duty and heading out to dinner in my new dress". Well, I think she eventually made it to dinner, but not in that dress...

And then there was number 2 son, whose very first act, moments after delivery, was to pee copiously all over the doctor.

And then...

Enough already.

[Motu]

I found the advantages of sidecars one night - my daughter did one of those explosive go everywhere Karitane type things all over my wife in the enclosed chair - one time I didn't mind being out in the wet and cold,couldn't hear a thing and didn't look left all the way home.

[greenhorn]

Nothing brings about more solidarity between human beings than parents relating poo stories.

[toads]

I think it's time for potty training.

Claire (Baby Random #1, 2 years and 3 months) wanders out into the kitchen this morning with bare nether regions, "Daddy! Daddy!" waving a clean nappy from the 'XL Girls' Huggies pack. Inspect toddlerly bum, clean as whistle, check down hall, no puddles on carpet, oh well. Pat on head, put new nappy on for her, she disappears into bedroom and reappears with trousers on (the right way round, even).

Think no more of it until Sarah calls me later to advise that she has found a neatly rolled up, poopy, used nappy on the corner of Claire's dresser drawers, accompanied by a ball of (used) nappy wipes with quantities of poop in evidence therein.

I just wish I'd thought to ask whether she'd folded or scrunched.


sounds like a dream toddler, mine just dumped and spread!, nevermind cleaning up, that was always my privilege, as a matter of fact they have continued this trend metaphorically speaking into adulthood yarrggg

[FROSTY]

Now were on the subject---wanna relate some food stories.
Best so far was a "lost " lunchbox-Lost because dad insisted that he finish eating what was in it before he could have a bickie.
Found in the bottom of his (coious) toy box a month or so later--ewwwww :Pokey:

[Ms Piggy]

I'm not a parent but I do recall seeing a Dad helping his son, who was obviously a bit too busting to make it to the loo, have a quick pee on the side of the busy main street, a bit embaressing but obviously necessary. HOWEVER, the next work eminating from Da are "Noooooooooooooo!!" As the little chap decides to do #2's too! :moon:

[KATWYN]

You guys talk about it like its so funny. I think
its actually really gross and not funny at all.
as MikeL said - some things are better left unsaid.

I think its bad enough owning a dog.

[jrandom]

You guys talk about it like its so funny.

I think you hit the nail on the head with the 'guy' part. Most of my male friends find poo stories hilarious. Girlies just shudder, turn green and swear never to get pregnant (again).

I think it's a side effect of that same marvellous personal quality, ie, being unaffected by proximity to vile smelly noisy things, that makes us naturals for things like baby-excretion wiping-up duties, Harley Davidson servicing, etc.

What would the Tender Gender do without us, eh? :innocent:

[KATWYN]

I think you hit the nail on the head with the 'guy' part. Most of my male friends find poo stories hilarious. :

Blimmin toilet humour. I can never understand it. Like, my hubby finds
that diarrhea part on the movie "Dumb and Dumber" absolutely
hilarious - and I feel like chucking :puke: everytime

JR, I was at my mates place once (st) and her kid came out to give me a *present*and put it right in my face.....it was a great big soup ladel full of his...well you know (#2) nicely packed down for visual presentation.....kids mum was horrified... not as much as me though at the time! :sick:

[toads]

Blimmin toilet humour. I can never understand it. Like, my hubby finds
that diarrhea part on the movie "Dumb and Dumber" absolutely
hilarious - and I feel like chucking :puke: everytime

JR, I was at my mates place once (st) and her kid came out to give me a *present*and put it right in my face.....it was a great big soup ladel full of his...well you know (#2) nicely packed down for visual presentation.....kids mum was horrified... not as much as me though at the time! :sick:

omg!, that has to be the worst poo story ever!!, I've had 6 kids and seen plenty, but never anything that gross!

[Gixxer 4 ever]

I think it's time for potty training.


Think no more of it until Sarah calls me later to advise that she has found a neatly rolled up, poopy, used nappy on the corner of Claire's dresser drawers, accompanied by a ball of (used) nappy wipes with quantities of poop in evidence therein.

.
Dam. :wacko: Hope we do not have to endure any more of this crap on KB. :eek: I know it is not OT but really, please. I note you have not replied ZED. :spudwave: This stuff belongs in a "Sheila" only area as men should not have to know about this type of stuff. :whocares: No new age wanker man here and the world would be a better place if more men would stand up and say no................. :beer:

[KATWYN]

omg!, that has to be the worst poo story ever!!, I've had 6 kids and seen plenty, but never anything that gross!


:laugh: So thats probably why i'm now 35 years old and have got NO kids!

BTW Toads, 6 kids and you ride a bike now as well, literally fitting all lifes
wonders into one life time -good on you :niceone:

[Two Smoker]

:laugh: So thats probably why i'm now 35 years old and have got NO kids!

BTW Toad, 6 kids and you ride a bike now as well, literally fitting all lifes
wonders into one life time -good on you :niceone:
What are you talking about??? You have a little baby, she's (maybe a he) only 3 yrs old, and has a gorgeous name of R6... what a cutie... lol....

[KATWYN]

What are you talking about??? You have a little baby, she's (maybe a he) only 3 yrs old, and has a gorgeous name of R6... what a cutie... lol....

Good point Two Smoke. *now knows what its like to be a parent* :love:
I spose an oil change is kinda a close comparison to nappies etc

[Two Smoker]

Good point Two Smoke. *now knows what its like to be a parent* :love:
I spose an oil change is kinda a close comparison to nappies etc
LOL, at least your baby doesnt need constant rebuilds like my baby lol...

[Mongoose]

You guys talk about it like its so funny. I think
its actually really gross and not funny at all.
as MikeL said - some things are better left unsaid.

I think its bad enough owning a dog.

At times some of us parent type people wish we had stuck to having dogs too, trust me!
And, thank gawd, I never had any of my kids top me for, errrm, early toilet humour, nuff aid

[jrandom]

Hope we do not have to endure any more of this crap on KB.

Sorry mate, but while I'm on the forum, I'm going to be sharing my pain. The thread title should have warned you off if you have difficulty with nasty scary yucky poopoo.



I know it is not OT but really, please. I note you have not replied ZED.

Those who've been there and care, share, but Zed hasn't bred.



This stuff belongs in a "Sheila" only area as men should not have to know about this type of stuff. :whocares: No new age wanker man here and the world would be a better place if more men would stand up and say no................. :beer:

Believe me, the new age wanker men are the ones who can't bear getting smelly kiddy excretions on their manicured leetle handies.

Nothing like some successfully-reared progeny hanging around to bear witness to a guy's testosterone. Fertile men of the world, unite!

:headbang:

[Gixxer 4 ever]

Nothing like some successfully-reared progeny hanging around to bear witness to a guy's testosterone. Fertile men of the world, unite!

:headbang:
Yes I have 4 of my own. :spudwhat: They are great kids and they make life worth living. (second one about to leave home so got some age on them now )I changed 4 shitty pants in the time they were young and that was 4 too many. Woman's work. I never said I didn't like kids I just hate to see men doin the stuff the mothers are supposed to do. :wacko: That's why the kids are lost today. They do not know what their roll is in life. Men are men and sheilas are sheilas and the sooner we get back to that and stop all this pink fluffy shit with men trying to be mothers the sooner our kids will know their place in the world. :niceone:

[scumdog]

I know your pain jrandom

Parenting rule #46
When out and about, your childs need to relieve him/her self is in direct proportion to the distance from the nearest toilet.

--------------------------------------------------
Its a long way to the shop if you wanna sausage roll

And Parenting rule #47 is the runny-ness of the mess is in proportion to availability of spare naps and cleaning gear.

Cracks me up how unselfconscious the littlies are, no holds barred when it comes to solemn looks, red faces and grunting noises when trying which in turn is followed by an increase in smiles and activity (and smell) once the job is done :lol:

[Al]

Whoa, down boy, Gixxer 4 ever!
I had my share of poo pants and really do not see why "wifey" has to deal with it all the time. We shared most taks/chores such as washing, cooking, etc. there was no "mens jobs" and "womans job" when it came to housework, etc as we both go out to work. Kids are now grown up and we still share our duties, doesn't make me any less of a MAN, don't need to prove it by not doing Woman things.

Bit :Offtopic: , but what the hell, my rant for the week is now over :done:

Al

[greenhorn]

I'm with you umfaan.
I only got one kid, he's out of poop catchers now but i did my fair share.
I think some people get confused over exactly what a "new age wanker" is...
Someone who wipes their kids arse, makes wifey the occasional meal when she's tired out from doing all the "womens work" without her having to ask, knows how to load the washing machine and hang it out cos she's too sore from stitches or other stuff is so far off being a new age wanker its not funny.

If thats what a new age wanker is then i guess my wife is insanely happy with her new age wanker. Which means i dont have to do much of the wanking part... :eek:

[MikeL]

I just hate to see men doin the stuff the mothers are supposed to do. :wacko: That's why the kids are lost today. They do not know what their roll is in life. Men are men and sheilas are sheilas and the sooner we get back to that and stop all this pink fluffy shit with men trying to be mothers the sooner our kids will know their place in the world. :niceone:

:niceone: Well someone had to say it. All this namby-pamby airy-fairy pinko crap is subverting our kids' minds and making them question their assigned place in the world and even, horror of horrors, think somehow they can actually change things...
Let's get back to the good old days when men were men and did the hard guy things like going to war and killing people, and the sheilas got the easy job of staying home with the pooey nappies. It was all so much simpler then...

[KATWYN]

Woman's work. :


Hmmm, what about a widower who is left to tend to
the little un because his wife has passed away?
Does that make him less of a man because he does
womans work?

[greenhorn]

I'm not trying to score points here with the female species but.. I agree.

Why does looking after your kid have to be divided into "womens" work and "mans" work?

If your kids packing a lethal weapon and mums not home, what do you do? Let him go round with carrying a bag of potting mix all day because to change him is "womens" work?

Whose the wanker?

[FROSTY]

OYYYYYYY--Namby pamby indeed. :doh:
I have my son baby bikie most of the time. WTF did I do when I'm out on a bike ride -leave him sitting is shitty nappies or maybee wave down a female and tell her to change his pants?
My situation is unique -isn't it? --No it isn't
Oh and for the record guys-the garden hose in mid summer gets rid of all the smelly stuff and in mid winter -when its a -OH my gosh did all that mess come outa such a little kid -toss em in the shower -
Half the problems with kids nowadays are because there aint enough male influence in their lives -too many kids raised by solo mums tought from pre school on by women.
You have it backwards guys we need to be More in our kids lives not less

[spudchucka]

You have it backwards guys we need to be More in our kids lives not less
Well said, totally agree!!

[Badcat]

Yes I have 4 of my own. :spudwhat: They are great kids and they make life worth living. (second one about to leave home so got some age on them now )I changed 4 shitty pants in the time they were young and that was 4 too many. Woman's work. I never said I didn't like kids I just hate to see men doin the stuff the mothers are supposed to do. :wacko: That's why the kids are lost today. They do not know what their roll is in life. Men are men and sheilas are sheilas and the sooner we get back to that and stop all this pink fluffy shit with men trying to be mothers the sooner our kids will know their place in the world. :niceone:

well - here's a little story...

we just returned from a NZ road trip with our 5 month old.
my wife, myself and the mighty sampson.
while changing him in the very handy change table in the timaru public loo, some scruffy old south island hard man shambled in to return his sherry no doubt and grunted "why they have those things in the mens" (pointing to the change table) "is beyond me"

i thought - you sad old fuck.

Gixxer for ever - why does caring for your child emasculate you?
and how does that affect the child perception of sexual roles?

please explain - i'd love to be illuminated by your obvious experience.
Ken

[riffer]

Well said, totally agree!!
Yup. While growing up (teenager early eighties) I noticed the real troublemakers didn't have dad around.

Even now it's still the same. In fact its more noticeable.

No male teachers at my daughter's school. No preschool teachers at my boys' kindies. What a surprise! yeah right.

A lot of kids don't have any adult male influence in their lives at all. :(

[greenhorn]

well - here's a little story...

we just returned from a NZ road trip with our 5 month old.
my wife, myself and the mighty sampson.
while changing him in the very handy change table in the timaru public loo, some scruffy old south island hard man shambled in to return his sherry no doubt and grunted "why they have those things in the mens" (pointing to the change table) "is beyond me"

i thought - you sad old fuck.

Gixxer for ever - why does caring for your child emasculate you?
and how does that affect the child perception of sexual roles?

please explain - i'd love to be illuminated by your obvious experience.
Ken

Wow. This thread started off talking about poo and now theres plenty of it flying this way and that... :D

My three and a half year old is taught to help mum by putting his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and is becoming quite talented at folding the washing for her too.
I guess this means he's not gonna grow up a "real man" and become confused about his role as a responsible caring adult...
Why the hell cant men drink beer, watch rugby, fart, scratch their balls, spend hours sitting on the bog reading the paper, take a leak in the shower, get tattoo's, have a beer gut, teach their son how to make farting noises with their armpit AND help out mumsy?

I dont do ironing. Even my wife agrees its simply not worth a whole evening to badly iron one shirt. But i sure as hell can make great noises out of my arse and armpit.

[Gixxer 4 ever]

Hmmm, what about a widower who is left to tend to
the little un because his wife has passed away?
Does that make him less of a man because he does
womans work?No. You know there are always exceptions and this is one of them. You are just being mischief's :niceone:

[Gixxer 4 ever]

well - here's a little story...

Gixxer for ever - why does caring for your child emasculate you?
and how does that affect the child perception of sexual roles?

please explain - i'd love to be illuminated by your obvious experience.
Ken
Because woman have the hormones to do the baby stuff. May be thats one reason they have tits. :2thumbsup Men have the hormones to be the leaders and show the kids the way in the world. Boys need to understand that their place is to work hard provide for their partners and be strong in mind and action. Girls need to understand that they have a role to nurture and care for the young. They need to provide a safe healthy environment for their babies. So they learn this stuff from their mothers. Both must respect their parents totally.
Yell all you like but thousands of generations have made us what we are and you can not change it in 50 years. Come on Men are different to woman. I help out from time to time around here but it has got to the stage in this country that the kids are confused because of the way they feel and want to act is deemed to be inappropriate. Nature set this difference. That is why we have problems. Yes Men need to be in the kids lives. I never said other wise. Just be there to set the role for your boys and girl. They are different. What don't you understand. :mellow:
Men get out from under your partners feet and leave them to do the baby stuff an go and do other things that need to be done. Play with the kids, read to the kids and all that stuff but leave the mothers do the female instinct stuff and the natural balance of life will evolve and you get balanced kids. Not hard unless you are only spoiling for an argument and have your head in the sand. :wacko:

[Gixxer 4 ever]

A lot of kids don't have any adult male influence in their lives at all. :(
This is bad but I never said leave home I said let mothers be mothers and be a good father. Live with the family. I agree on all this stuff. I do not agree with men being under the mothers feet all the time and confusing the role of the parents. see post above this from me.

[FROSTY]

At what point did this rule -women nurture, men do other stuff come from?
Don't go quoting nature because example for example I can quote ya where the male nurtures the young.
perhaps its society then?
yea the same society that is makeing men afraid to show affection for fear of being branded a pervert.
or the teaching profession where society has defined our roles so well that a man can't become a pre school teacher.

[Firefight]

Because woman have the hormones to do the baby stuff. May be thats one reason they have tits. :2thumbsup Men have the hormones to be the leaders and show the kids the way in the world. Boys need to understand that their place is to work hard provide for their partners and be strong in mind and action. Girls need to understand that they have a role to nurture and care for the young. They need to provide a safe healthy environment for their babies. So they learn this stuff from their mothers. Both must respect their parents totally.
Yell all you like but thousands of generations have made us what we are and you can not change it in 50 years. Come on Men are different to woman. I help out from time to time around here but it has got to the stage in this country that the kids are confused because of the way they feel and want to act is deemed to be inappropriate. Nature set this difference. That is why we have problems. Yes Men need to be in the kids lives. I never said other wise. Just be there to set the role for your boys and girl. They are different. What don't you understand. :mellow:
Men get out from under your partners feet and leave them to do the baby stuff an go and do other things that need to be done. Play with the kids, read to the kids and all that stuff but leave the mothers do the female instinct stuff and the natural balance of life will evolve and you get balanced kids. Not hard unless you are only spoiling for an argument and have your head in the sand. :wacko:


sorry mate, can't agree, both my wife and I worked as our kids were growing up, as I worked shift work, and was around at odd times, it worked in well for her to have good rest for the day while I did the nappy changin, feeding, washing etc, ,.When I was growing up my mum was very ill, my dad did all the nappy changin, cooking of meals and cleaning, as well as holding down his job. I do agree with you about the need for men to be in the kids lives, I guess different people have different views about what makes a good relationship, still I am sure it will provoke some interesting discussion.


Firefight

[KATWYN]

where society has defined our roles so well that a man can't become a pre school teacher.

A guy I know became a teacher (of the littlelys 5-8 ) and reakoned at teachers training college there were about 6 guys and the rest were
woman (don't know how big the group was) then by the time he had
finished his training 4 of those guys had dropped out for various reasons
leaving only 2 of them !

He told me that to hell with all this fear stuff, he still shows affection
to the boys in his class (when and if he has too) because they so
desperately need it.

[Hitcher]

Geez Louise! I can't believe half of what I've just read. Let's get the sex role stereotypes out and give them a canter!

And here's me thinking that I lived in the 21st century. John Tamihere has a lot to answer for!

Yes, there are many and obvious differences between men and women. But I thought that a man's role was to be a good husband/father/son, not a rednecked chauvinist dickhead!

[toads]

Geez Louise! I can't believe half of what I've just read. Let's get the sex role stereotypes out and give them a canter!

And here's me thinking that I lived in the 21st century. John Tamihere has a lot to answer for!

Yes, there are many and obvious differences between men and women. But I thought that a man's role was to be a good husband/father/son, not a rednecked chauvinist dickhead!

Well put, My experience is that for the 1st 3 kids hubby didn't get involved at all with the nuturing stuff, but that all changed overnight with the arrival of the triplets, he suddenly got up in the night, changed nappies and the whole thing, he hadn't got involved before that because I was too efficient, and he didn't need to, I don't think he's a redneck chauvinist dickhead though, just crafty!! LOL

[FROSTY]

A guy I know became a teacher (of the littlelys 5-8 ) and reakoned at teachers training college there were about 6 guys and the rest were
woman (don't know how big the group was) then by the time he had
finished his training 4 of those guys had dropped out for various reasons
leaving only 2 of them !

He told me that to hell with all this fear stuff, he still shows affection
to the boys in his class (when and if he has too) because they so
desperately need it.
Note thats boys though Kat-- Ill assume he teaches in a boys school.
Sorry but its a hobby hourse of mine.
Why can't a bloke show affection to little girls if he's a teacher?
Why is our society so sick that a male pre school teacher (given that there was one) isn't allowed to change nappies -especially on baby girls.
When baby bikie was at pre school I used to throw him around and the other kids -boys and girls would all be lined up wanting a bit of the rough house flips n stuff.
I was told in no uncertain terms that I couldnt touch the little girls -for fear i might touch em below the waist.
I mean FFS :spudwhat: :spudwhat:

[vifferman]

Gixxer 4 Ever was just trolling, right? Yes?!?

No?!?:thud:

I have three progeny of indeterminate species, but all definitely male.
I changed their nappies when required (like if I was the one who noticed they needed changing, or my wife was busy, or because I felt like it), and when they were very little "younguns" (I'm not sure what the proper technical term is), I got up in the night for them more than my wife did. Because she was tired, and I'm a very light sleeper, and I was awake anyway. I've fed them, bathed them, rocked them in the night when they were teething or sick. I can also sew, cook, clean, iron my own clothes, and it's usually me that cleans the (4) toilets and (3) bathrooms in our house. Why? Because I'm obviously confused about my manhood (because my member, which used to be a thousand miles long, was shot off in the last war), and my role as a male. That's also why I spent nearly 3 years looking after the household when I couldn't get a fulltime job and had to resort to that lowest of occupations, contract computer contracting. Loved the job, hated the loneliness of being a househusband, loved the time I got to spend with the kids.

So.
Now my boys are all obviously very confused, namby-pamby, effeminate wankers. Poor bastids.

Perhaps I should get Mr Gixxer4Eva around to straighten 'em out.

[jrandom]

Gixxer 4 Ever was just trolling, right? Yes?!?

I initially thought so too, and refused to bite, but it's a rare troll that is created by someone with enough skill to present such an atmosphere of verisimilitude, whilst still remembering to retain the correct level of misspellings and syntactical fluff.

I'm picking it as a genuine example of the psychology of the Lesser Kiwi Bogan, commonly known as the Down Under Redneck.



I can also sew, cook, clean, iron my own clothes, and it's usually me that cleans the (4) toilets and (3) bathrooms in our house. Why? Because I'm obviously confused about my manhood (because my member, which used to be a thousand miles long, was shot off in the last war)

I do all of the above, too. And MY member was TWO thousand miles long the last time I took it out of the jar on the mantelpiece and measured it.

[Edit: *And* I was top of my home ec. sewing class in intermediate school. I still use an ancient, tatty gym bag I made back then. Constructed from a tasteful manly camouflage pattern fabric, of course.]

[greenhorn]

Good to hear i'm not the only poofy wanker.
I even wear oven gloves now and then..



Did i say that out loud?

[Hitcher]

My member, which used to be a thousand miles long, was shot off in the last war.
My member would be a thousand miles long if I had taken full advantage of all of the SPAM offers I have received over the years proferring prodigious priapism prostheses and such...

[jrandom]

SPAM

It's not an acronym when used to refer to UCE, you know.

[Badcat]

Because woman have the hormones to do the baby stuff. May be thats one reason they have tits. :2thumbsup Men have the hormones to be the leaders and show the kids the way in the world. Boys need to understand that their place is to work hard provide for their partners and be strong in mind and action. Girls need to understand that they have a role to nurture and care for the young. They need to provide a safe healthy environment for their babies. So they learn this stuff from their mothers. Both must respect their parents totally.
Yell all you like but thousands of generations have made us what we are and you can not change it in 50 years. Come on Men are different to woman. I help out from time to time around here but it has got to the stage in this country that the kids are confused because of the way they feel and want to act is deemed to be inappropriate. Nature set this difference. That is why we have problems. Yes Men need to be in the kids lives. I never said other wise. Just be there to set the role for your boys and girl. They are different. What don't you understand. :mellow:
Men get out from under your partners feet and leave them to do the baby stuff an go and do other things that need to be done. Play with the kids, read to the kids and all that stuff but leave the mothers do the female instinct stuff and the natural balance of life will evolve and you get balanced kids. Not hard unless you are only spoiling for an argument and have your head in the sand. :wacko:

Eloquent.
still bollocks, but eloquent.
:)

[vifferman]

Eloquent.
still bollocks, but eloquent.
:)Hmmmm.... No.

Not elephant, just verbose.

[Hitcher]

It's not an acronym when used to refer to UCE, you know.
Sorry, I had my hearing aid turned off. UCE, is that a typo? What's wrong with "vernacular"?

[KATWYN]

Note thats boys though Kat-- Ill assume he teaches in a boys school.
: :spudwhat:

No, Co-ed. Boys and girls. Don't know what his thoughts were on the little girl side of it, as at the time the conversation centred around the need for more male school teachers to play a role in fatherless boys lives.

Are you one of the few? (A school teacher? teachers aid? )

[KATWYN]

Why can't a bloke show affection to little girls if he's a teacher?
:

I agree. Bottom line is, its the children missing out (including on the fun flips n things as you mentioned) -cos of our sick over reacting society.

[jrandom]

Sorry, I had my hearing aid turned off. UCE, is that a typo? What's wrong with "vernacular"?

Unsolicited Commercial Email. Spam isn't SPiced hAM when it's unsolicited commercial email, which is why we should spell it 'spam' when referring to such.

The Hornell processed food product, subject of some of the finest performance art created by this here fine Western cul-choor of ours, should of course be spelled as the acronym it is. SPAM.

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM.

[Hitcher]

Unsolicited Commercial Email. Spam isn't SPiced hAM when it's unsolicited commercial email, which is why we should spell it 'spam' when referring to such.

The Hornell processed food product, subject of some of the finest performance art created by this here fine Western cul-choor of ours, should of course be spelled as the acronym it is. SPAM.

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM.
Ahh, but not all acronyms are fully capitalised. Ain't English wonderful? e.g. sonar, radar, scuba, spade, etc

[toads]

My member would be a thousand miles long if I had taken full advantage of all of the SPAM offers I have received over the years proferring prodigious priapism prostheses and such...

Yes so would mine apparently, don't ya just hate those emails!! LOL

[Gixxer 4 ever]

Well put, My experience is that for the 1st 3 kids hubby didn't get involved at all with the nuturing stuff, but that all changed overnight with the arrival of the triplets, he suddenly got up in the night, changed nappies and the whole thing, he hadn't got involved before that because I was too efficient, and he didn't need to, I don't think he's a redneck chauvinist dickhead though, just crafty!! LOL :spudwave: as we all would if we had to. :msn-wink: triplets....Congratulations Hard work but so rewarding in time. :niceone:

[Gixxer 4 ever]

Enough, :killingme I was a trolling. :moon: It was fun to. The misspelling Jrandom is the way it is. I can look after my kids but I can not spell as you can plainly see. :spudwave: I see a few others on here troll and as I was board last night so I decided to try it. I have to say it is fun but I think this was the wrong thread to do it on. So this is my :niceone: 100th :niceone: message so back to the real world. Be happy people the world has one less red necked chauvinist. :calm:
(he thinks.......The spelling checker was enjoying a movie, as the kids were all in bed! But me thinks he deserves some time off as he works hard and is a very supportive husband and father and son! All you guys out there who are the same good on you! We all need to do what is best for each other and what we are capable of. signed the loving and satisfied wife and mother of his 4 children for 22 years and still going strong. And I'm not just the wife! ) Bugger busted. :mad: :eek:

[Posh Tourer :P]

Those who've been there and care, share, but Zed hasn't bred.


Beautiful! I think I'm gonna :crybaby:

[MikeL]

Well done, everybody. Hugely entertaining thread, full of mixed messages, misunderstandings, tongues firmly planted in cheeks, a troll or two, mock seriousness and serious mockery...
A bit like real life...

More, please!

P.S. Favourite quote from Fawlty Towers:

Sybil: You know what I'll do, Basil, if I find out you've been betting on the horses...?
Basil: You'll have to sew them on again first.

[toads]

:spudwave: as we all would if we had to. :msn-wink: triplets....Congratulations Hard work but so rewarding in time. :niceone:

the triplets are 10 now and we have those delightful teen years to look forward to

[jrandom]

Beautiful! I think I'm gonna :crybaby:

Awwww. And here's me thinking that it would go unappreciated.

[Gixxer 4 ever]

the triplets are 10 now and we have those delightful teen years to look forward to
The best years. They have a lot of pain growing up but they really give back from now on. We will miss them as they move away. :disapint: The house is always full of people at the moment. :first: 22 visitors for an after ball on Saturday night. Great fun. So if my daughter had 20 over then you triplets will have ...ummmmmmmmm 66? :shit: :)

[jrandom]

The best years. They have a lot of pain growing up but they really give back from now on.

OK, OK, we all love you now, you can stop with the fluffy lovin' good-daddy compensation posts already :sick:

:p

[riffer]

OK, OK, we all love you now, you can stop with the fluffy lovin' good-daddy compensation posts already :sick:

:p
Damn and I never even got to contribute to this thread.

Thought it was gonna rival the Scottish Thread there for a minute...

Oh well. I guess normal service is resumed.:wacko:

[scumdog]

Unsolicited Commercial Email. Spam isn't SPiced hAM when it's unsolicited commercial email, which is why we should spell it 'spam' when referring to such.

The Hornell processed food product, subject of some of the finest performance art created by this here fine Western cul-choor of ours, should of course be spelled as the acronym it is. SPAM.

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM.

That last bit sounds like the words of a Monty Pythons Flying Circus song :D

[greenhorn]

I hate you Gixxer.
You made me confess to wearing oven gloves. :angry2:


They have a flowery pattern on them too. And i sometimes wear my wifes apron that has "kiss the cook" written on it.
(Along with other clothes as well)
NO NO i dont mean i wear other clothes of my wifes as well... i mean...

Just forget it.

[FROSTY]

Well done, everybody. Hugely entertaining thread, full of mixed messages, misunderstandings, tongues firmly planted in cheeks, a troll or two, mock seriousness and serious mockery...
A bit like real life...

More, please!

P.S. Favourite quote from Fawlty Towers:

Sybil: You know what I'll do, Basil, if I find out you've been betting on the horses...?
Basil: You'll have to sew them on again first.
SHHH mike --I thought we might get this thing really going.
Actually we do need to ask the question of grown men getting their jollies wearing tight leathers.

[Hitcher]

Actually we do need to ask the question of grown men getting their jollies wearing tight leathers.
Or putting on women's clothing and hanging around in bars?

[Gixxer 4 ever]

SHHH mike --I thought we might get this thing really going.
Actually we do need to ask the question of grown men getting their jollies wearing tight leathers.
It aint the leathers :no: its the crotch rockets that propels them forward so Spudchucker and co can catch us to pay their wages. ;)

[Gixxer 4 ever]

:killingme
I hate you Gixxer.
You made me confess to wearing oven gloves. :angry2:


They have a flowery pattern on them too. And i sometimes wear my wifes apron that has "kiss the cook" written on it.
(Along with other clothes as well)
NO NO i dont mean i wear other clothes of my wifes as well... i mean...

Just forget it.
Heheheh We will still stop and help you should you break down on the road. Mind you I will help from a distance should I see the oven glove things.. :killingme :bleh: :killingme

[duckman]

Can I just clarify - SPAM = Specially Processed American Meat :shifty:

[FROSTY]

Or putting on women's clothing and hanging around in bars?

I gottta tell you brother--You are so far out there on your own with that one :confused2
It reminds me of the odfellow add of years gone by--all good mates till he went off on his own strange tangent

[MikeL]

Or putting on women's clothing and hanging around in bars?


"He's a timberjack and he's O.K...." :whistle:

[jrandom]

"He's a timberjack and he's O.K...." :whistle:

"I cut down trees, I wear high heels..."

[Hitcher]

"He's a timberjack and he's O.K...." :whistle:
Lumberjack, mate

[jrandom]

Lumberjack, mate

You pick all the nits off the hairs *before* you split them, don't you?

[Hitcher]

You pick all the nits off the hairs *before* you split them, don't you?
Precise and discerning removal of Mallophaga sp and the equitable division of beta karotene is a specialty!

[jrandom]

Mallophaga sp

I bet you didn't even have to look that one up.

You anorak-wearing, um, Kawasaki rider.

[MikeL]

Lumberjack, mate
:Oops: There goes my reputation...

No, actually it was a deliberate substitution designed to avoid any cross-cultural terminological confusion, seeing as how "lumber" is a specifically North American usage...

:sweatdrop

[spudchucka]

It aint the leathers :no: its the crotch rockets that propels them forward so Spudchucker and co can catch us to pay their wages. ;)
Even in a thread about baby shit and the joys of parent-hood someone still finds time to slag off at the cops - amazing!!

[Gixxer 4 ever]

Even in a thread about baby shit and the joys of parent-hood someone still finds time to slag off at the cops - amazing!!
Hi Spudchucka :spudwave: We were well removed from baby shit by this time. This thread is full of trolling and it is still getting bites. Dam it is a rich sea. :killingme
You have taken this out off context with your quote. We need you people on the roads. Keep up the good work but please stop hiding in the bushes and come out in to the open and police like real men and woman with discretion. I have vented here form time to time and that's what some threads are for. :niceone:
Why don't you start one and ask people what the problems are out here and take the replies to your boss and see if you can change things. :niceone:
What is wrong with having people on your side :spudwhat: Do not take offence and look at the quote you took this from. It was a fun comment and lets keep it as that. :msn-wink:

[spudchucka]

You have taken this out off context with your quote.
Perhaps, but I wasn't having a go at you either I just thought it was funny how threads often can't help going that way.


We need you people on the roads. Keep up the good work but please stop hiding in the bushes and come out in to the open and police like real men and woman with discretion.
I have hidden in a bush once but it was about 0430 hours, pouring with rain, freezing cold, there were no radar or laser devices anywhere nearby or vehicles for that matter and the purpose of hiding was to catch a burglar, which I did. And by the way he was shown no discretion at all.


Why don't you start one and ask people what the problems are out here and take the replies to your boss and see if you can change things. :niceone:
Hmmm, no thanks!


Do not take offence and look at the quote you took this from. It was a fun comment and lets keep it as that. :msn-wink:
I didn't take offence, I just thought it was an odd / funny thing to say in the context of the thread.

[FROSTY]

spud ya need thicker skin mate :devil2:
or then again are you just taking the piss right back at us.

[spudchucka]

spud ya need thicker skin mate :devil2:
or then again are you just taking the piss right back at us.
Now there's a possibility.

[FROSTY]

rotflmao--hey spuddy--you're on 747 posts --Im on 1747 -yea ok small things small minds