So I come in to work this morning . . .

[WRT]

And as usual, come through reception to sign in, straight from the elevator, still in my bike gear, bag on my back, helmet in hand (not THAT helmet, the one off my head . . . no, not THAT head, the other one – oh, nevermind . . . back to the story).

“Good Morning” I call to the girls, as you do.
“Come here, I tell you”
“What’s up?”
“It’s broke!”
“What’s broke?”
“Everything!”
“Everything?”
“Everything! All of it!”
“All of what?”

This is starting to sound familiar to me, I’ve had this conversation a few times before.

“Everything, none of it is working, I tell you”

At this point the phones ring.

“Well, obviously the phones are working, so what else is broken ?”

The others in reception are now staring studiously at their screens, eyes straight ahead, a smirk silently suppressed on their lips.

“The printer, the printer isn’t working!”
“What’s not working about it ? Smudging, blurring, printing slow, not printing at all?”
“Don’t know, it’s got an error on it.”

By this time I have wandered around to where the printer is clearly displaying the message “Replace Black Cartridge”.

“Looks like it needs a new toner cartridge.”
“No, it doesn’t, I tell you. I’ve pulled it out and shaken it about three times and it still does the same thing.”
“When was the cartridge last replaced?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Not that long ago I think. But I’ve pulled it out and shaken it and it still does the same thing.”
“Well, how about we try replacing it?”
“But it doesn’t need . . . “

Again, the phones ring. I sidle off to get out of my bike gear. I return a minute or two later with a new cartridge, pop it in the printer and lo! Pages start to pour out of the printer. All containing the same thing, where she has tried and tried again to get the printer to print her document.

“Oh, you’ve fixed it!”

Yes I’ve fixed it. And what have I fixed? All off it. Everything. Cause it was all broke, remember?

[placidfemme]

lol is she blonde?

[WRT]

No, [not blonde].

[crashe]

Poor woman......

How on earth did she get the job in the first place?


You are her knight in shining armour riding in on your steed to save her and her day.

Well done.

[avgas]

Ha, i used to work for an industrial printer and labeling company - imagine that with islanders 24hrs a day. So happy that i left that job.

[Sniper]

Hehe, stupid customers sound like a dream compared to secretaries

[R6_kid]

i get similar stuff at my work because i studied computer science (programming/binary/theories of programming etc) I automatically know how to fix the printer, fax, network connection, and anything that goes wrong with any program on the computer.

Gotta love it when people know they dont have a clue what they are doing, yet they try 'everything' to fix things first before asking.

[WRT]

I hate the lack of description in the problem. "It's broken" might suffice if we were talking about a broom handle, but something like a copier, computer, phone system etc needs a slightly more indepth report.

[avgas]

I hate the lack of description in the problem. "It's broken" might suffice if we were talking about a broom handle, but something like a copier, computer, phone system etc needs a slightly more indepth report.

I used to get "Itss ah knot werkin', come quick aye 2 fisx it. Hole line iz downa aye".
Unfortunately i couldn't laugh because it was 2am and i was just woken up by the pager (demon possessed device).
Piss you off even more if you get there and its not even your bloody equipment.

[bugjuice]

lol.. like the time you said to get a white cartridge so you can print on coloured paper!

well my day is screwed, cos the server with all the work on dropped dead last night, big time. And the last backup was over a month ago, so we've got a couple of techies goin mad trying to restore order to another server we're gonna have to buy!

[cheese]

yeah I used to deal with the brain dead in the Navy with similar problems.

whats the problem, oh its broken bro....

My favourite was a speaker wasn't working in these peoples room. I went and had a look and some monkey with the IQ of a kumera had cut the wires to the speaker cause it was too loud. I asked if he had tried the volume knob. he replied, what volume knob?

We used to do worse to the dockyard though, they were a magical bunch. you could send them a bunch of parts that you have lying about for a $400 head set and they magically turn it into a new fixed one. Did that a lot...... ha ha ha

[bungbung]

I hate the lack of description in the problem. "It's broken" might suffice if we were talking about a broom handle, but something like a copier, computer, phone system etc needs a slightly more indepth report.

Not if everything is broken

[BarBender]

She aint alone...

Reminds me of the time a Partner at a Big 4 accounting firm rang the IT Dept to send someone to fix his computer. The technician turned up and switched the monitor on.

And to think he gets paid $600 an hour to give advice?? :tugger:

[WRT]

Not if everything is broken

But it's never "everything" that is broken. It's a missing icon, a plug that's been pulled so someone can charge their cell phone, or an empty toner cartridge.


She aint alone...

Reminds me of the time a Partner at a Big 4 accounting firm rang the IT Dept to send someone to fix his computer. The technician turned up and switched the monitor on.

And to think he gets paid $600 an hour to give advice?? :tugger:

Hell, I had that with a tech I used to work with. Couldn't get a computer to start up on his work bench, swapped just about every component in the damn thing before I got called over and noticed the test monitor he was using was switched off.

[Colapop]

"My computer doen't go"
"What do you mean 'doesn't go'?"
"I turned it on, you know by pushing the button and it doesn't go"
"Is there power to the machine?"
"What do you mean?"
"Is it plugged in?"
"The lights are on"
"But there's no-one home?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind. Have you switched the screen on?"
"It comes on when you turn the computer on"
"Try pushing the power switch on the screen"
"I can't, the screen is blank"
"There is a grey bit around the screen. There is a button on the surround. Can you see it?"
"Yes"
"Push it"
"Oh that's wonderful! You've fixed it"
"So your computer is going now?"
"You tech guys are amazing" *Hangs up*
"It's amazing you can walk upright..."

[Damon]

Our receptionists are like that, I got a call from them the other morning,

"the phones won't work"
"?? your calling me on them??"
"no, on the computer"
"oh what's happening?"
"it won't let me type"
"ah? I'll come and have a look" (I've learned it's easier and faster to just go and look for myself)

when I get down stairs she brings up a window in the phone console program and tries to type in a number to bring up an extension and nothing happens, so I reach past her and turn the num lock on and tell her to try again, and holy shit it works! this is about the 3rd time I've had to do the same thing for them.

Apparently computer illiterate people become receptionists

[WRT]

Well, I've heard from her again now. The clients email address she has used "lots of times" suddenly gets rejected. Might have something to do with her now spelling the name with an 'O', instead of an 'A'. That's right, 'O' for "Oh dear".

[RantyDave]

i get similar stuff at my work
At work? Ha! Think yourself lucky. Pick up a partner, kids, etc. then you get work, home, inlaws, sister in law in another country, my family overseas, kids mates' families, cousins of inlaws, kids creche, neighbours ... every bugger comes crawling out the woodwork with a fuxx0r3d HP/Gateway/Dell/Shitbox wondering why it's making a funny noise, or doesn't print, or wanting to know what skype does or (my favourite) "how do we get the Internet".

When this does happen, three words that will save your life: "Buy a mac". Or "Buy a fucking mac" depending on who you're talking to and how annoyed you are already.

I shit you not, saved my life.

Dave

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

Oh it's nice to be the exception to the rule LOL.

[Guitana]

[Personal info deleted- ixion]
Be careful bagging workmates if someone sees this you could have a PG on your hands!!!

[WRT]

She is a fictional character. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. I wasnt there, and didnt see anything - and neither did you.

YOU CANT PROVE A THING!

Oh, and it wasnt me. Just in case you were asking.

[Grub]

Yes , I’ve fixed it. And what have I fixed? All off it. Everything. Cause it was all broke, remember?

I can definately sympathise. This morning's for us was from 7 people, all with the same problem (no eyes, no brain)...

"I can't log into the network" / "Your network has broken" / "You've wrecked my PC"/ etc etc
"Have you changed your password?"
"nope"
"What username are you using?"
"It says XXXXX but it keeps giving me an error. I'm using the right password, I've entered it 5 times"
"Uh that's my login, we ran some updates on your machine last night"
"Oh"
"So what's your login?"
"I don't know, I never have to type it"
"You've been here 5yrs and don't know your login?"
"Why can't I use this one and just put my password in, what have you guys done?"

...... arrrrrggghhhhh ......

We'll try not to rant or get excited about ...
"So , let me test it for you now, what is your password?"
"It's 'XXXXX', I've always had the same one"

...... arrrrrggghhhhh ......

[WRT]

"So what's your login?"
"I don't know, I never have to type it"
"You've been here 5yrs and don't know your login?"


Yup, I get that one from time to time too . . .

[jrandom]

The elitist ideas of IT types who forget that they're supposed to be support staff pisses me off.

Try to comprehend that the $600/hour accountant doesn't give a flying fuck which button he needs to push, because his brain is full to bursting with the real work he's doing, and it's both easier and more economical to summon someone from the tech department to sort out whatever's going on, even if the solution turns out to be trivial.

And the poor blonde receptionist who doesn't know how to enter her username and password may not have ever been told about the concept of 'usernames' as well as 'passwords'. Give her a fucking break.

IT monkeys should learn their place and start earning their wage. The attitude I've seen from some of them would get a Micky D's burger-flipper fired within a day.

[Damon]

I've only been in IT for a short time so i would hardly call myself elitist

all the jobs i've had that require computer use have asked for my computer knowledge when i applied for the job, if you bullshit your way into a job and then don't know what "replace toner" means then you deserve the mocking you get.

[Coyote]

You should join the police

[Alice]

Can't say I agree with some of the put downs from you lot, 2 sides to every story and all that, ........like you never fuck up and get pissed off at yourself and the world ! oh to be perr-fect,

but you may enjoy what Albert Einstein had to say once many years ago,

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former"

[N4CR]

the elitist ideas of it types who forget that they're supposed to be support staff pisses me off.

real work he's doing,

and the poor blonde receptionist who doesn't know how to enter her username and password may not have ever been told about the concept of 'usernames' as well as 'passwords'. give her a ****ing break.

when they do it about 5 times in a week after being explained each time its pure ****in stupidity plain and simple.

real work, yeah right. ****in bean counters

[Wasp]

You should join the police
ahahahahah excellent :rofl::rofl::D:):first:

[Guitana]

Is she a hottie if so you should shut your mouth and appreciate her beauty!!!
Who cares if she fucks up as long as she picks up pencils in front of you on a regular basis!!!
More tolerance in the workplace please you never know she might beat you up if she overhears you bagging her in the lunch room!!!!

[Guitana]

Can't say I agree with some of the put downs from you lot, 2 sides to every story and all that, ........like you never fuck up and get pissed off at yourself and the world ! oh to be perr-fect,

but you may enjoy what Albert Einstein had to say once many years ago,

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former"

Yeah she and her mates are probably in the smokoroom right now discussing your sexual orientation and from what I hear the news aint good!!!

[Grub]

The elitist ideas of IT types who forget that they're supposed to be support staff pisses me off.

You got to get on the other side sometime Fish, it can be funny and it can be really really bad.

It's not that people don't know how to do things or forget the basics, everyone does that. It's that some people have to have someone to "blame". It HAS to be somebody else's fault, they have to defend how computer-literate they are. I got shouted at yesterday as I was trying to ask certain questions that would identify the cause. The user just kept shouting me down with "I know about computers!". In the end I had to say I couldn't help. Two hours later when they rang back a little mellowed we discovered the wrong screen was being used. And yes, they had been to the half-day training course - just after xmas.

It's fun to help people who need help and say so, the others deserve all the non-identifying generic ridicule they get in forums like this. Actually they deserve to hear it, instead we are polite and helpful and vent here instead.

[Coyote]

ahahahahah excellent :rofl::rofl::D:):first:
I'm glad someone got it

This Wednesday ride still on? A mate of mine might come along as well

[pete376403]

After near 30 years in business machine, then IT support type roles, I've come to love the nice easy ones - like the router that was switched off at the wall cos someone has pushed a ring-binder manual in alongside a PC and flipped off the switch.

I'm paid the same for that or racking my brains on some wierdo MS Windows crapola thng. Job satisfaction - "the challenge" - is a lot less relevant to me now than it used to be.

[Curious_AJ]

HAHA! some people ARE rather dim witted, no?

[Gremlin]

Hehe, stupid customers sound like a dream compared to secretaries
not when they keep reminding you that they are paying etc etc

my favourites are the ones that don't like you much (from past dealings), so get a little shitty as soon as possible...

One wondered why a file couldn't open some data... the html and files had been split... so it obviously couldn't link. We didn't bother trying to explain that some sort of warning should have popped up before doing it.

Another wanted us to increase the mailbox size... because a message bounced back. We explained nicely that that means the receiver is full... something we have no control over... took a couple of emails on that.

The ones like cables unplugged etc... those have gotten real old. What irritates me now, is going on a call out to the residential address, because its not working/not connecting to server (wtf fucken server at home?) etc. Some clients work from home, meaning their residential connections have to be quite reliable. Then you get there... and they gleefully declare its all fine. Thanks. :mellow:

btw... where are these jobs that pay squillions for support... I could do with one. :lol:

[Ixion]

At the request of the OP I have removed all personal identification (names etc) from the posts.

It is wise to remember that the Internet is not as anonymous as we might like to think.

[jrandom]

You got to get on the other side sometime Fish, it can be funny and it can be really really bad.

I post this particular troll regularly, you know. About once every two months. Just to check that the universe is still on course, and smile at the solidarity that immediately emerges amongst the forum's beleaguered techies.

In much the same way that my Yiddish heritage gives me the moral authority to tell the joke about fitting four thousand Jews into a VW Beetle, I wouldn't dare do it if I wasn't intimately familiar with the industry from both angles.

Oy vey.