Crisis of confidence [Archive]

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26th February 2007, 20:01

skelstar

26th February 2007, 20:15

While its important to be aware of the dangers, perhaps youre putting too much emphasis on being careful and just not willing to enjoy the experience?

It'll pass, don't worry.

Trudes

26th February 2007, 20:16

LOL. I used to be like you, but unfortunately it took a change of bike to get me on the road properly. Determination, someone you trust following along behind even if it is in a car for a while and riding around quiet roads you know well and just time on your bike should help heaps. You've got the right idea, practice practice and some more practice. Just take it slow, no hurry and you'll get there. :rockon: Chicky!

The Stranger

26th February 2007, 20:22

You may want to check out the wednesday mentoring (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=43261)ride and/or attend an RRRS course (http://www.rrrs.org.nz).

An escort to either one can usually be aranged to help you get there if you like.

James Deuce

26th February 2007, 20:26

I still get tied in internal knots from time to time. Some mornings I just don't want to ride anywhere and I'm scared stiff of going beyond the end of the driveway.

Then Chopper Read turns up, gut punches me, pulls a 9mm, and makes me ride to work.

Come to think of it it may just be the riding to work thing.

I should ride away from work.

Doh.

chanceyy

26th February 2007, 20:32

Hi ya girl .. Yup I know that feeling well & can totally relate

apart from what others may think, I have just got back on a bike after 25 yrs .. & prior it was my brothers motox bike .. so have never ridden on the road .. yesterday I rode to manfeild but i jump the gun

yesterday was my 5th road ride, in the last month & I was pretty nervous about it as i had to ride from levin to shannon by myself approx 18 ks
I was not trying to overthink things .. & this was the second time out by myself ( prior a quick pootle up a side road) I also have to add I live on state highway 57 so outta my driveway & straight up to 100 ks .. no practice around quiet streets here.

I also tried to pick the time that I will head out .. when its quieter its much better on the ride to shannon only had one vechile pass me & that was on passing lanes so all good ..

Even now the thoughts/fears/concerns are still there but luckily i am one of those ppl that once i am on the road riding I am fine ... so do not think that you are the only one suffering a lack of confidence, but yes get out & even if its a short ride it will do wonders for your confidence to grow ;)

good luck

bull

26th February 2007, 20:35

I know how you feel, sat my BHS in Aug last year then got my GT250R in November so it was 3 months since going on a little suzuki 125 around a carpark to riding my brand spanker bike on a road. I was extremely apprehensive and my first little ride had me nervous as hell, funnily i only rode about 600m up the road and back doing about 35km/h. I felt like i was absolutely hooning as until then it had only been low speed at BHS. the best thing i did was put my hand up here on the forum asking for a mentor in my area. Met with mentor and talked about riding then organised an evening ride with mentor to local carpark for some familiarisation with my bike. For some strange reason i felt alot more confident with the mentor around me, and it made me feel more at ease on the bike. (Cheers UncleB RIP)

So id reccomend asking for a mentor, in your area. Once you get a few km's behind you you will be really enjoying the ride and forgetting to be nervous.

Motig

26th February 2007, 20:37

Dont Panic !!!!! Theres very few people that can honestly say they were not nervous on the first few rides on their bikes. Those that were not are probably dead or racing MotoGP or something. As has been said practice,practice,practice = confidence. And it isnt just a girl thing, its a normal thing. So happy riding:scooter: :scooter: :yes:

scumdog

26th February 2007, 20:44

Relax, I too am terrified to 'head out on the highway' after a bit of a break from riding.

Just keep riding, don't push yourself TOO much and you'll find you start to relax and enjoy the ride.

But never lose sight of the fact that there IS a shit-load of danger out there, just make sure you recognise it and stay alert.

Ixion

26th February 2007, 20:46

I am a Nana, I don't have testosterone. But it is a wee while since I was a beginner , and the world was different then.

If I understand you, you are frightened ? or just nervous? Are you frightened of something in particular ? Being hurt, embarrasing your self etc. Or just nervous because what you are doing is an "unknown"?

Do you drive a car? The reason I ask is that if you do you can reassure yourself that you know *roadcraft*, so all that is needed is to learn the mechanicals of riding a bike. Whereas if this is your first vehicle then it may be the whole "being out on the road with all the traffic" thing that is frightening.

If the former, just try riding round your lawn (or a convenient local park or some such. Just riding up and down a grass berm if nothing else), just "getting the feel" of the bike, getting confident that you can start; stop;get on , get off, etc. So that the beast does not intimidate you. Baby steps.

If the latter, then I suggest that someone would certainly be hapy to pillion you to one of the Wednesdya mentor sessions. Just being a pilliuon on a bike, especially with a rider who is willing to comment and explain will give you confidence .

Just think "Helen Clark managed to ride a motorcycle. If *she* can do it, I most certainly can".

And I agree, input (better still some practical tutoring) from one of the female riders would help a lot.

BTW the machine you have chosen is an excellent one for a learner, and you will have no problems with it. So you do not need the fear the bike.

Give it a name. become friends with it. Tuck it up in an old blanket at night. Yes, I am serious, it helps to make it less 'scarey".

<G>

26th February 2007, 20:51

Thanks for your support, guess I just needed to release some of the pressure - as in "a problem shared is a problem halved". Put the L-Plate on so I'll feel better knowing that cars behind me will be aware that there is a potential problem in front of them - I did vote yes on today's poll. I do have a mentor - kudos to Sue for being willing to come with me at the ungodly hour of 5am!

Have been pillion for years, tried riding a bike back in 2003 and it ended badly (but not that badly!). Realised the mistake I made and have thought long and hard about it until it felt the right time to get another bike (the previous one was an Eliminator too). I'm 5" so choices are limited especially as I like both feet on the ground but I don't like the cruiser feet position!

Have named the bike and have had a long chat to her. One day at a time, hey!

skelstar

26th February 2007, 20:57

*sucks breath through teeth* not sure about the L-plate thing.

I reckon a good approach is:

1. Ride with intent, don't diddle around indecisively. Indecision causes doubt and potentially accidents.
2. Look at other driver's eyes to see if they have (probably) seen you or not. Esp on streets/intersections to your left.
3. If you're following a car, I tend to weave left and right a bit for the cars that turn across me at intersections. They may not see me behind the car infront.

Just a wee selection.

limbimtimwim

26th February 2007, 20:59

It'll pass. I occasionally sometimes too, but for me, it passes after a few gear changes and I'm then focussing on the task at hand / enjoying the ride.

To be honest, biking would loose it's sparkle if there wasn't just a tiny amount of fear in it from time to time in it for me.

What would be the fun in it if it were not there?

KATWYN

26th February 2007, 21:10

and now I find my stomach in knots at the thought of going out on the road.

I've been riding 7 or 8 years. Every single time my stomach was in knots at the thought of going for a ride or actually going for a ride.

It stopped when I rode my bike daily and finally got an understanding of cornering geometry (cos that was my lil "issue")

So yea you are correct - practice practice practice :sunny: there comes
a time when you will love the thought of getting on your bike everytime!

My 2c worth

McJim

26th February 2007, 21:17

I was a noobie this time last year. I remember fighting through the terror to go out on the road. I got over it by doing circuits of the same roads, the same junctions over and over until I had confidence in those roads and junctions. Once I had conquered a set of roads I'd expand the route and ride some extra roads (when they were quiet!).

slowly I found the confidence to ride in a variety of conditions and a variety of road surfaces.

Best of luck and good for you conquering your demons.

Deviant Esq

26th February 2007, 21:27

I am a Nana, I don't have testosterone.

I'm in the same boat - only I haven't been riding as long. I get a bit nervous before I go for a ride pretty much every time I'm heading out. I'm always keen to get out though, and once I'm on the road all the nervousness gets left behind and I just think about what I'm doing and enjoying being on two wheels. I'm sure I've seen car drivers do a double take when they see me riding along with a loopy grin on my face! Anyway, I think that having your stomach in knots before a ride is fairly normal for most newer riders. We know riding can be risky, and we're not completely comfortable with our skill levels or the capabilities of our bikes. So I believe it's only time.

"When you can't find the world
You can only find yourself
And you can't break away
'til you find your own way
But it takes time
You know it takes time..."

Kendog

26th February 2007, 21:43

I was a noobie this time last year. I remember fighting through the terror to go out on the road. I got over it by doing circuits of the same roads, the same junctions over and over until I had confidence in those roads and junctions. Once I had conquered a set of roads I'd expand the route and ride some extra roads (when they were quiet!).

Thats what I did, but started in a camping ground cap park. Round and round till I had gear changing and braking as more of a second nature action. Then round and round the same road slowly going further and further.

As every one else has said. Take your time and practice. You will know when you are ready.

shadynz

26th February 2007, 21:56

brilliant thread!

I'm nervous as hell of my first ride... But then I remember it's been a long time since I've become interested in/passionate about something which is consuming sooooo much of my time (hope the IT guy at work doesn't look up my internet use!!)... I'll go in tomorrow and KB will be banned :shifty:

I couldn't imagine not going through with riding now. Simply not an option in my life.

I say enjoy the nerves, we only get these type of nerves once in our lives normally and once we've worked through them, I'm sure it'll be an amazing feeling!

(well, that's my plan anyway!)

:)

pixc

26th February 2007, 22:16

Theres some good advice here. McJim has hit the nail on the head. Good on you for getting a mentor sorted..I am yet to find mine.

I still get nervous when I havent been on Blue Bella for a week or so. Shes patient and forgiving. Pactice your basics and on quiet roads to start is the key.

Have fun and enjoy, as shadynz said, enjoy the nerves/excitement while you have them :)

trump-lady

26th February 2007, 22:20

Hi there :)
My female input:
Ive been riding for 1 year and I still get knots in my stomach for big rides or riding with new people or groups. Ill do dumb stuff like forget to put my stand up lol....The knots I dont mind because it makes me respect the bike. I also find that after Im out on the road Im usually good and settle and the knots go away....however.... I talk alot to myself. If you could hear me youd laugh. I say things like "your ok, youll get the next corner......slow down girl your too hot.....gravel coming get ya wits up" etc etc. While I find that helps at times I have to also tell myself to shut up. I concentrate to much on what might happen (negs) that I make myself more nervous.....So I do reverse psych. " you nailed that corner..... you kept ya line..... I love my bike" etc. When everything settles and I become one and ride with confidence I know why I get back on my bike :)

The Stranger

26th February 2007, 22:47

Whoa, this thread is kind of freaky.

You even got grown men admitting to being scared here. What are you guys? a bunch of Austalians?

Trudes

27th February 2007, 06:02

I think they all got in touch with their feminine side after a certain discussion. :Oi: harden up, and go get me a Speights.:shutup:

yungatart

27th February 2007, 07:16

I know what you mean, and after a recent bin, I'm back to that stage again.
Get yourself a mentor
Relax.. it will pass eventually.

Pwalo

27th February 2007, 07:18

I've been riding on and off for over 30 years. I still get that 'twitchy' feeling when I start the bike up each morning.

Don't forget nerves and excitement produce similar reactions in the body so just relax, breathe, and don't try too hard.

I think that's why I always go through the pre ride ritual. Start the bike, ear plugs in, helmet on, right glove on, left glove on, swing the leg over, check the engine temp, clutch in, gentle blip, engage first, and gently away.

Scorpygirl

27th February 2007, 08:03

Hi Noobie - Yes, I know exactly what you mean about nerves, sometimes this is almost like waves of nausea. I have only been riding for 2 months after a bad experience too. As others have said, once I am on the road I tend to lose the nerves, cause I am concentrating on what's around me and what I need to do. Keep practising. I am riding back and forth to work now - not that far, but it sure is helping me ride in Auckland traffic. I have now realised just how aggro people get when they want to get home after 5 pm!! :shit: Good to see that you have a mentor as this really helps, especially so they can cover your butt in traffic and give you tips along the way.

You will get there. Keep at it and good on ya. :yes: :scooter:

ManDownUnder

27th February 2007, 08:09

Get yourself a mentor
Relax.. it will pass eventually.

Yeah - get a mentor and go riding with a couple of people you trust if you can... head along to the Wed night mentoring session at Westgate (assuming you are anywhere near there?) and ask for someone to ride with you there and back if needed.

It's normal, and being on a bike you do feel more at risk. That's a good thing.

There is no substitue for mileage ...

Chickadee

27th February 2007, 08:26

Hi Imanoobie2

It's natural to be feeling how you've been - I was the same. I didn't have the confidence really to ride on the roads until I'd been on a Ride Right Ride Safe course organised by Bronz. They are well worth doing, around $50 for a days riding skills on a airforce base (no cars - yayee!). The website is www.rrrs.org.nz - next course is on the 18th of March, it's in Auckland so you have no excuses. I'll escourt you there if you want.

I live out Botany Downs way, where are you? Wonder if you'd like a riding buddy sometime. I've been riding for around 7months and I've already had a bin to slow me down!

There are mentor rides - just do a search, that would be worth your while. I'm 30 by the way - not a yungan, but not a crusty yet.

Cheers Chickadee

Rosie

27th February 2007, 08:32

When I was first starting out I was pretty nervous about my bike, and about getting myself onto the road.

I found that going on short rides every couple of days was helpful. Even if you only have time to go around the block a couple of times, the more often you decide to go for a ride, get yourself suited up and go out there, the more normal (and thus less scary) it becomes. Figuring out one or two things you are going to focus on for your ride helps a lot. There are so many things you need to learn at first, and your less likely to feel overwhelmed if you can say "today I did really well, I remembered to cancel my indicators every time" even if you did stall, or were a bit wobbly or whatever else.

Spending time with the bike when you aren't riding it helped me. Give it a good wash, check the fluid levels, practise pushing it around and 'parking' it, sit on it and play with the controls. Or just stand and stare at it until the garage door light goes out :love:

I wasn't terribly interested in motorbikes before I bought mine, it was something of an impulse purchase, and it took a little while to get used to the idea that it was my motorbike and I was going to learn to ride it.

MSTRS

27th February 2007, 08:41

Biking can (is?) be a scary thing. It is so long since I was a noobie that I forget how it feels firsthand, but I mentor Yungatart (my better half) so can appreciate the fear factor when low on skills and putting faith in a machine and other road users. Really, you would be in a much worse (head)place if you were full of inappropriate confidence. Get yourself a second/third/fourth... mentor too. We all have different styles of riding and teaching, and what one misses in observing you, another will pick up on.

vifferman

27th February 2007, 08:43

Damn.
I feel like I'm a weirdo. I loved riding, from the first time I rode a bike. Admittedly, the first few rides were on the dirt, so I didn't have to worry about traffic. Plus I was young and immortal, and all that.
Even though most of my riding now is commuting, which tends to sap my enjoyment of riding, I still get excited heading out, and if I don't ride for a day or two I get grumpy.

Lissa

27th February 2007, 10:07

I fully understand what you are going through. And believe me I still do stupid things from time to time, and my parking isnt too hot either as some people can agree with.

First day I got my bike I rode around the trampoline because I was too scared to go on the road and change up gears.

The next day I thought bugger it, I'm going to ride around the corner to my mums.... that was great fun.

Its all about confidence and getting your skills up. It totally helped me that i had someone to discuss things with (eg uncle B - just like Bull) he had a sense of calm about him, when I was freaking out. I also found some great friends to go riding with, who even now, give support. Such as riding infront and behind me, and not trying to push me into doing something I am not comfortable with.

I remember the first time I went 100k (I think that was about the time of our First Chicks Ride) I freaked out, because I wasnt use to the wind or the bike. And yes I was slow, and uncomfortable. But I got alot of advise, I never got pressured to go faster, and was told very importantly... go at your own pace. Now I love riding. I am absolutley comfortable on my bike, have learnt the feel for my bike and know my and my bikes limitations.

So

1. Get some buddies to ride with, whom you trust and are comfortable with.
2. Push your comfort zone... even if its just a tootle down the road and back again.
3. Get a mentor to help you out.
4. And enjoy the challenge and the ride.

Alice

27th February 2007, 11:09

perhaps its easy to get paranoid about the whole " danger " thing associated with riding. I hear a lot of talk about this from lots of people, sure, we are very exposed if something goes wrong, no protection like in a car, but if we ride defensively and within our limits I do not feel there is to much to worry about. How many crashes have you had in your car, probably none, so why are you more at risk on your motorbike. Its when we really push our limits that there is more chance it will turn to custard, and its fun to push our limits, so if we do that then we have to accept we are more at risk. If I start to have negative thoughts I just think the thought then push it aside and not dwell on it leting it go round and round in my head.

When I started riding my first couple of rides I headed off on quiet country roads with hardly any traffic then after a couple of rides I felt confident to ride in traffic, it does not feel any differant from driving in traffic cept yu on a bike.

Hope yu feeling confident sooon.

Roj

27th February 2007, 11:25

brilliant thread!

I'm nervous as hell of my first ride... But then I remember it's been a long time since I've become interested in/passionate about something which is consuming sooooo much of my time (hope the IT guy at work doesn't look up my internet use!!)... I'll go in tomorrow and KB will be banned :shifty:

:)

Just make sure the IT guy rides a bike, and introduce him to the site...:scooter:

And yes I work in IT.....

Roj

27th February 2007, 11:27

Whoa, this thread is kind of freaky.

You even got grown men admitting to being scared here. What are you guys? a bunch of Austalians?

Real MEN...

The Stranger

27th February 2007, 11:38

Real MEN...

Ok I can dig the attitude of "feel the fear, but do it anyway" that is what life is about. But hey if you are terrified on a motorbike, I really think you should not be riding on the road.
If you fear for your life that much - get a car.

crashe

27th February 2007, 11:59

Good to see that you have a mentor (as mentioned in your first post)
I take it is Sue (Riff Raff), then she will teach all the correct stuff.

Good onya for getting out and about at 5am....... most of us are still asleep.
So I am assuming that you are out in South Auckland somewhere???????

As others have said practise, practise and practise........
all in a quiet street/cul de sac until you get the starting, hill starts, doing turns and stopping down.

By going up and down that quiet street until you feeel comfortable and get get up to 4th gear and 50kms....... only then start to venture out into other quieter streets.

You know the best thread to read is BuckBuckNo1 thread...... on "learners training thread".

Is there anyway that you can get to the Wednesday night Mentor night..... (see Meetings and Events section) There is someone who will escort you all the way there and home again.......

If you feel a panic coming on....... pull over to the side of the road......
Take a deep breath in............... breathe out......
Do that a few times........ and then continue on riding.

The deep breathing does help to calm the nerves back down.

El Dopa

27th February 2007, 18:31

Hi there,

I'm relatively new. I get something similar, although it's fading now. I can find myself making excuses for not going.

'hmmm, could go out on my bike, but it looks like it might rain. Won't bother'

'Now all the houseworks done, its time for a ride. Hmmm, it'll be dark soon. won't bother".

Etc.

It is sometimes worse if I haven't ridden for a week or so.

The only way to get through it, in my experience, is to force yourself to go out, even if it's only round the block.

Go round the block Friday evening, and you'll feel fine about going out for an hour on Saturday. Then you'll wonder what all the fuss was about and go out all day on Sunday and have a blast.

Having said that, don't ignore the warning signs. If you're riding like a numpty and can't relax into a groove after a decent interval - go home and try again the next day. Sometimes that little voice is talking for a reason.

earthbound misfit

27th February 2007, 19:08

Good on you for fessing up about that feeling. I've only been riding a short while and get it everytime know I'm going to ride.
Even though its uncomfortable I know its because I'm trying something new and pushing my boundaries, this reminds my why I wanted to ride.

Keep an open mind, and not trying to be negative or upset you, but odds are you will come off sometime too and when that happens (like it did to me) just brush yourself off and give thanks that you are ok and get back on, (when the insurance company pays you out and you get a new bike),

Don't give up, there are lots of chicks just like us going throught the same experiences. You have an awesome support network here in KB by the looks of all the good feedback.

_Gina_

27th February 2007, 19:50

I still get excited heading out, and if I don't ride for a day or two I get grumpy.
HAHA

Funny that comment, was just wondering whether you were experiencing nervousness or being excited ?

I have always been excited to ride and even though I had moments where I would worry about making a fool out of myself at first (remember to put the stand down G, oops, I forgot to strap my helmet up, DOH!)
I was always excited and those feelings were the ones which drove my butterflies.

Are you able to differentiate which feeling you are having?

Reason I ask, is that if you are scared then that is a completely different ball park.....

Awesome to hear you already have a mentor.....and one who is willing to get up at 5am!

G

_Gina_

27th February 2007, 19:55

I have had an experience (not motorbikes) where I had a love hate relationship going on and in retrospect it wasn't really the go.

I was scared shitless of the task at hand, but once completed I would be high on the buzz of it all.

It is quite different from the feeling of excitement and nerves that are associated with that feeling.

Just curious really :)

slinky

27th February 2007, 20:05

The Stranger

27th February 2007, 20:27

BarBender

27th February 2007, 21:12

Finally got my bike, had an awesome time doing the refresher basic handling skills, and now I find my stomach in knots at the thought of going out on the road. Been out yesterday and today - albiet at 5am - fine whilst riding - but ffs - what is the problem!

Please tell me that this feeling will pass with practice, practice, practice.

Replies from women riders would be greatly appreciated - not that I discount advice from guys but your testosterone gives you the edge. :dodge:
Don't mean to start a debate on the equality/inequality of the sexes.

TIA

I dont think testosterone gives guys the edge. It can work against us as well.
5 am is a good time to ride. So is riding out in the country. Maybe that should be a good place to start. Head out for them open highways and get some wind in your face...and gradually build up your confidence. If your stomach is in knots you might want to try untying them before you head out.

_Gina_

27th February 2007, 22:04

I shudder to think - how curious were you exactly?
Well, in respect to the subject, slightly.
More curious now with regard to your need to shudder ;)

<G>

28th February 2007, 14:50

<G>

28th February 2007, 15:00

I underestimated the guys, thank you for sharing your experiences and thank you to everyone who posted. Reading your replies have made me realise that these feelings are normal.

I went for a ride yesterday morning and enjoyed it. I have done 40kms since Sunday!

Unfortunately the bike has gone back to Mt Eden today, there's a few things that aren't right, but since I had grommetts inserted yesterday (at my age I ask you) and my ears are still feeling stuffed it's probably a good thing that we are out of action at the same time.

Here's to happy riding :yes:

mstriumph

28th February 2007, 15:33

............Having said that, don't ignore the warning signs. If you're riding like a numpty and can't relax into a groove after a decent interval - go home and try again the next day. Sometimes that little voice is talking for a reason.

good advice - bravado has no place in riding ......... neither does being uptight. sometimes it's best to go on home and try again tomorrow.

crashe

28th February 2007, 15:44

[QUOTE - mentor - I take it is Sue (Riff Raff]

Hi Crashe, thanks for your input, no it's not Riff Raff. I belong to the African Eagles MCC and Sue is one of our members. She lives close to me and is an early riser so that helps!

Won't be able to make the Wednesday night rides, I live in East Auckland and only get home at 7pm.

Ive not heard of that motorbike club......

Its good that you have someone to go out with you and teach you new things and point out stuff that you need to improve on.....

Those are the things to practise on.

Even going up and down a quiet street..... doing all the basic stuff.....
like what you were taught at the basic handling course.

Contact The_Stranger for when the next "ride right ride safe" course is on out west.... as it is a great course to do...