Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)
8th March 2007, 15:01
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot.
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it.
Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie.
Bad girls know they could do it better.
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"
A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her, "How is it that you know so much about baseball?"
She says, "Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change."
The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process.
"What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut IT off?" "That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"Was it when they cut off your balls?" "That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"What was the most painful part?"
"The part that hurt the most was when they cut my salary in half!"
Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today ?? We would get our paycheck everyday, and all women would bleed to death...
"Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model," the editor from the men's magazine explained. "It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black."
The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor's fingers. "What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded.
She smiled sweetly and said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."
A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, "Do you talk to your husband when you're making love ?"
She thought about it a minute then said, "Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now."
Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says "We're Catholic so we can't use it." The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm method." The third woman says "We use the bucket and saucer method."
"What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?", the others ask. "Well, I'm five foot eleven... and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from under him."
"Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk. "Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this way?" "If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn't need the batteries."
Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation."
"I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"
The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra.
"Yes Madame," said the clerk. "I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?"
"Braille," she replied.
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it.
Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie.
Bad girls know they could do it better.
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"
A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her, "How is it that you know so much about baseball?"
She says, "Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change."
The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process.
"What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut IT off?" "That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"Was it when they cut off your balls?" "That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."
"What was the most painful part?"
"The part that hurt the most was when they cut my salary in half!"
Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today ?? We would get our paycheck everyday, and all women would bleed to death...
"Miss Jones, we can't employ you as a model," the editor from the men's magazine explained. "It's too obvious that your blonde hair isn't natural, since the hair between your legs is black."
The model picked up a paperweight and slammed it down on the editor's fingers. "What the hell did you do that for!" he exploded.
She smiled sweetly and said, "Look at your fingers. They're turning black, right? And they've only been banged once."
A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend. The girlfriend asked, "Do you talk to your husband when you're making love ?"
She thought about it a minute then said, "Well, no. But I could. I mean he has a cell phone and all now."
Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says "We're Catholic so we can't use it." The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm method." The third woman says "We use the bucket and saucer method."
"What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?", the others ask. "Well, I'm five foot eleven... and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from under him."
"Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk. "Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this way?" "If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn't need the batteries."
Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation."
"I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"
The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra.
"Yes Madame," said the clerk. "I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?"
"Braille," she replied.