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crack
21st March 2007, 01:46
Things To Look Forward To!
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
• Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

• White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

• Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

• Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

• Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

• Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq,Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).


• Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.



• France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.



• Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.



• George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.



• Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.



• 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.



• Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.



• Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.



• Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.



• Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.



• New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.



• Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.



• IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.



• Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Good Ol Uncle Sam!:shutup: :shutup: :shutup: :shutup:

Insanity_rules
21st March 2007, 02:09
Nice work, very cutting social commentary on the american plight. Southern Cali is already Mexifornia, have you seen the amount of mexicans there?

Sniper
22nd March 2007, 10:13
I dont get it....

BNZ
23rd March 2007, 14:16
I dont get it....

thats because its not a repost

ManDownUnder
23rd March 2007, 14:24
I dont get it....

...then buy her flowers before asking... show her you care

Wolf
23rd March 2007, 15:43
Total crap, all of it - we all know there won't be a Congress, Presidential Elections or a United States in 2029...

The United States' total collapse into anarchy is projected to happen around 2015 and the rest of the World's likely to go bankrupt sending aid packages and setting up relief missions.

crack
23rd March 2007, 23:25
Total crap, all of it - we all know there won't be a Congress, Presidential Elections or a United States in 2029...

The United States' total collapse into anarchy is projected to happen around 2015 and the rest of the World's likely to go bankrupt sending aid packages and setting up relief missions.

:yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: Mind you only Philistines drink DB, I prefer my scotch.