White trash
2nd April 2007, 21:16
First race meeting in ten years. Funnily enough, on the same model bike as the first. This should be good.
Riff raff and I left Papakura just after 4.30am with the intent of being there first to secure a good pit spot, seeing as that honey Jill had trailered the bike down for me the day before. Ahhh, good one. Everybody was all set up and "J Lo" was sitting on the stands waiting for me as we arrived. Gotta get up pretty early to get one over this crowd I tell ya. Found Mr Poos, Flame and Fizzerman way the hell down the end of the pits and grabbed my race tyres, wandered back, borrowing various tools from various pit bays along the way. Wheeled the bike in next to Keystones and set to work changing the rooted Dunlop for a far less fucked Pirreli slick. In honesty, I pulled the wheel out and Death Inc did most of the changing. Just then old Gixser wheeled his bike back from scrutineering and instantly took note of the fact I'd flogged his pit. Sorry mate, only good looking people in this tent, move along.
Bike passed scrutineering no worries (Eh?!) and I hurried back to get the tyre warmers fitted ready for practice. This turned out to be a long time coming but we eventually got there, after being held on the dummy grid for about 15 minutes. Having not ridden J Lo in a month or so, I started to get comfortable and just cruise around, refamiliarising myself with the track. Very nice of them to build a couple of mongrel tyre walls in the already dodgy chicane onto the back straight, "someone could get hurt there" I thought. Sadly, I wasn't wrong. After turning up the pace a little towards the end of the session, I caught a big dude on a ZX6R who was a little slower than me into that chicane. I leant on the front brake lever (SRAD brakes aint great), the rear wheel hopped off the deck and I headed straight for the tyre wall on the front wheel. I managed to get of the brake and steered the bike to the left, just grazing the wall with my elbow and stopping on the track on the other side. Fuck me that was close! Couple more laps and our single ten minute practice session's over. Didn't really think too much about it but the bike felt a bit funny. I'll cope.
Race 1: During the riders breifing, they'd explained that grids were decided on championship points. Fair enough, after the warm up me, Eddie, Death and Jono line up almost right at the back. Cheating bastards like Nicko, Poos and Fizzerman scoot right through to the third row. Cunts! Then the red flag dude wanders off to the side of the track, so about three bikes decide to take off. For an F1 grid there was a hell of alot of inexperience showing. The green flag was waved and I got a fairly reasonable start I thought and gained a few positions into turn one. Let me tell ya, when you're starting right from the back of a grid, turn one is a litteral traffic jam. Managed to barge my way through a few more and had a nice dice with a chap on a sexy yellow TZ250 for a while. He must have been getting the shits with me virtually stopping J Lo in the turns then out grunting him down the straights. Not that there's fuck all of them. I could see Drew, Nicko and Poos a little way ahead but couldn't quite close the gap. Then on lap 2 or 3 I came through the infield to see Drew ploughing a furrow in the Kitty Litter. He managed to keep it upright so I had a chuckle then tried to improve my pace. By the end of lap three, not only was I shagged, but the rear end had no grip and the bike wanted to run wide everywhere. Two more laps of wheel spinning, wallowing horror, and I think I came home 8th. I was pretty disapointed with the position, but had had a great laugh and was smiling like a lunatic. I thoroughly enjoyed being on the oldest, and almost shittiest looking (an honour shared by Death) bike on the track.
Race 2: After much fucking around, we went out for the second race of the day. The Dover had shown up with his nifty camera so we mounted that on the front fairing brace and I went out intent on doing better. I moved further up the grid for the start and again got a pearler, out gunning a whole heap of more serious machinary on the way into turn one. Leant fairly heavily on Mr Poos here but he managed to push me a little wide and stay in front. He gapped me a little through the infield (the rights are my REAL weak point) and I was battling with some cat on a fricken SV650. I had him for the first couple of laps but once again, by lap three the rear had gone to shit. Absolutely spinning sideways out of the hairpin towards the sweeper, then pushing the front through there with the back sliding too. I could hear the little twin behind me and wasn't prepared to back off but alas, I found a big bump in the braking zone for the chicane and again kicked the rear wheel up high. It wasn't as close as my practice "moment" but it put me really badly off line onto the straight. I managed to hold the position but a lap later, he came back past me and I simply couldn't keep the bike tidy enough to make a challenge. Finished about 7th apparently. Still grinning like a loon.
Race 3: This was it! No guts, no glory. They called F1 to the dummy grid and we all progressed down there, just as the ambulance fucked off somewhere. After fifteen minutes of sitting there with tyres going cold, it became the dummy throwing grid with Gixser gestulating and complaining to anyone within earshot. Eventually, they told us to go and refit the warmers (to dead cold tyres). No sonner had we got them fitted, when we were recalled to the dummy grid. Shouldn't be too bad, providing we get 2 warm up laps. Nope! We'd fitted Dovers camera to the rear of the bike to try and get some cool shots and oh my christ is the warmup lap footage funny. Big Eddie (who hasn't actually finished a race yet) is busy yelling and screaming and shaking his fist at only getting one warm up lap. I lined up on row three and got in position for the start of my life. Not sure how but I managed to well and truly fuck it up and the bike went vertical as the green came down. Still got through a few bikes but the rear grip was shocking from turn one. Sat behind the SV for the whole race, fighting to turn the bike and struggling to get the rear to hook up. I was pretty resigned to 7th place again but I could hear a bike behind me, fairly close. I didn't look back and just tried to make the best of a bad situation for the remainder. On the run down to the lefthand hairpin out of turn five J Lo decided to jump into neautral. Imagine my surprise when Death came hauling past. I almost fucken wet myself. Pushed as hard as I could for the next lap and a half, thinking I'd make an attack into the final chicane before the start finish line but Andy had my measure and knew where I was slow, maitaining a big enough gap that it woulda been suicide to try outbrake him there. Fuck it relegated to 8th but still, if ya gotta lose, best it come from another SRAD :D Got some really cool rearward footage of this race of Andy and my rear tyre laying COOL blackies!
So I finished the day 7th, which is alright I suppose. Not what I'd hoped but the bike will be stripped and sorted for VMCC Round 1 in May on the smae track.
People to thank are, as always, too numerous to name but special thanks to the following.
Riff raff for being the pit bitch and keeping me fed and watered, Keystone for taking the bike (couldn't have got there otherwise), Drew for paying for my entry (what are brothers for!) and of course Stify and Girly girl for riding down specifically to help and learn, Gixser for taking it easy on me in my first race and Lance and Dave for the loan of warmers, stands and bits pieces. Everyone else who offered advice, support and encouragement, as always I'm thankful as.
Thanks for reading this shit too!
Riff raff and I left Papakura just after 4.30am with the intent of being there first to secure a good pit spot, seeing as that honey Jill had trailered the bike down for me the day before. Ahhh, good one. Everybody was all set up and "J Lo" was sitting on the stands waiting for me as we arrived. Gotta get up pretty early to get one over this crowd I tell ya. Found Mr Poos, Flame and Fizzerman way the hell down the end of the pits and grabbed my race tyres, wandered back, borrowing various tools from various pit bays along the way. Wheeled the bike in next to Keystones and set to work changing the rooted Dunlop for a far less fucked Pirreli slick. In honesty, I pulled the wheel out and Death Inc did most of the changing. Just then old Gixser wheeled his bike back from scrutineering and instantly took note of the fact I'd flogged his pit. Sorry mate, only good looking people in this tent, move along.
Bike passed scrutineering no worries (Eh?!) and I hurried back to get the tyre warmers fitted ready for practice. This turned out to be a long time coming but we eventually got there, after being held on the dummy grid for about 15 minutes. Having not ridden J Lo in a month or so, I started to get comfortable and just cruise around, refamiliarising myself with the track. Very nice of them to build a couple of mongrel tyre walls in the already dodgy chicane onto the back straight, "someone could get hurt there" I thought. Sadly, I wasn't wrong. After turning up the pace a little towards the end of the session, I caught a big dude on a ZX6R who was a little slower than me into that chicane. I leant on the front brake lever (SRAD brakes aint great), the rear wheel hopped off the deck and I headed straight for the tyre wall on the front wheel. I managed to get of the brake and steered the bike to the left, just grazing the wall with my elbow and stopping on the track on the other side. Fuck me that was close! Couple more laps and our single ten minute practice session's over. Didn't really think too much about it but the bike felt a bit funny. I'll cope.
Race 1: During the riders breifing, they'd explained that grids were decided on championship points. Fair enough, after the warm up me, Eddie, Death and Jono line up almost right at the back. Cheating bastards like Nicko, Poos and Fizzerman scoot right through to the third row. Cunts! Then the red flag dude wanders off to the side of the track, so about three bikes decide to take off. For an F1 grid there was a hell of alot of inexperience showing. The green flag was waved and I got a fairly reasonable start I thought and gained a few positions into turn one. Let me tell ya, when you're starting right from the back of a grid, turn one is a litteral traffic jam. Managed to barge my way through a few more and had a nice dice with a chap on a sexy yellow TZ250 for a while. He must have been getting the shits with me virtually stopping J Lo in the turns then out grunting him down the straights. Not that there's fuck all of them. I could see Drew, Nicko and Poos a little way ahead but couldn't quite close the gap. Then on lap 2 or 3 I came through the infield to see Drew ploughing a furrow in the Kitty Litter. He managed to keep it upright so I had a chuckle then tried to improve my pace. By the end of lap three, not only was I shagged, but the rear end had no grip and the bike wanted to run wide everywhere. Two more laps of wheel spinning, wallowing horror, and I think I came home 8th. I was pretty disapointed with the position, but had had a great laugh and was smiling like a lunatic. I thoroughly enjoyed being on the oldest, and almost shittiest looking (an honour shared by Death) bike on the track.
Race 2: After much fucking around, we went out for the second race of the day. The Dover had shown up with his nifty camera so we mounted that on the front fairing brace and I went out intent on doing better. I moved further up the grid for the start and again got a pearler, out gunning a whole heap of more serious machinary on the way into turn one. Leant fairly heavily on Mr Poos here but he managed to push me a little wide and stay in front. He gapped me a little through the infield (the rights are my REAL weak point) and I was battling with some cat on a fricken SV650. I had him for the first couple of laps but once again, by lap three the rear had gone to shit. Absolutely spinning sideways out of the hairpin towards the sweeper, then pushing the front through there with the back sliding too. I could hear the little twin behind me and wasn't prepared to back off but alas, I found a big bump in the braking zone for the chicane and again kicked the rear wheel up high. It wasn't as close as my practice "moment" but it put me really badly off line onto the straight. I managed to hold the position but a lap later, he came back past me and I simply couldn't keep the bike tidy enough to make a challenge. Finished about 7th apparently. Still grinning like a loon.
Race 3: This was it! No guts, no glory. They called F1 to the dummy grid and we all progressed down there, just as the ambulance fucked off somewhere. After fifteen minutes of sitting there with tyres going cold, it became the dummy throwing grid with Gixser gestulating and complaining to anyone within earshot. Eventually, they told us to go and refit the warmers (to dead cold tyres). No sonner had we got them fitted, when we were recalled to the dummy grid. Shouldn't be too bad, providing we get 2 warm up laps. Nope! We'd fitted Dovers camera to the rear of the bike to try and get some cool shots and oh my christ is the warmup lap footage funny. Big Eddie (who hasn't actually finished a race yet) is busy yelling and screaming and shaking his fist at only getting one warm up lap. I lined up on row three and got in position for the start of my life. Not sure how but I managed to well and truly fuck it up and the bike went vertical as the green came down. Still got through a few bikes but the rear grip was shocking from turn one. Sat behind the SV for the whole race, fighting to turn the bike and struggling to get the rear to hook up. I was pretty resigned to 7th place again but I could hear a bike behind me, fairly close. I didn't look back and just tried to make the best of a bad situation for the remainder. On the run down to the lefthand hairpin out of turn five J Lo decided to jump into neautral. Imagine my surprise when Death came hauling past. I almost fucken wet myself. Pushed as hard as I could for the next lap and a half, thinking I'd make an attack into the final chicane before the start finish line but Andy had my measure and knew where I was slow, maitaining a big enough gap that it woulda been suicide to try outbrake him there. Fuck it relegated to 8th but still, if ya gotta lose, best it come from another SRAD :D Got some really cool rearward footage of this race of Andy and my rear tyre laying COOL blackies!
So I finished the day 7th, which is alright I suppose. Not what I'd hoped but the bike will be stripped and sorted for VMCC Round 1 in May on the smae track.
People to thank are, as always, too numerous to name but special thanks to the following.
Riff raff for being the pit bitch and keeping me fed and watered, Keystone for taking the bike (couldn't have got there otherwise), Drew for paying for my entry (what are brothers for!) and of course Stify and Girly girl for riding down specifically to help and learn, Gixser for taking it easy on me in my first race and Lance and Dave for the loan of warmers, stands and bits pieces. Everyone else who offered advice, support and encouragement, as always I'm thankful as.
Thanks for reading this shit too!