The pedigree diet!

[Macktheknife]

I was in Foodtown the other day buying a large bag of Pedigree for my dog and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no,
I was starting The Pedigree Diet again, although I probably
shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 20 kilo's before I awakened in an intensive
care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was
totally believing it. I told her that it was an easy,
inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your
pockets or handbag with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line
was by now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food
had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said "No..... I was sitting in the street licking my arse when a car hit me".

[Sniper]

Mack, Im turning a blind eye......

[Pumba]

You didnt even try a search did ya Mack:gob:

[Macktheknife]

You didnt even try a search did ya Mack:gob:

I did I swear it! Bugger it, sorry lads.

[Colapop]

You are a naughty naughty boy!:spanking:

[Toaster]

I don't care, I laughed my head off. And I am still at work stuff it all.

[MotoGirl]

I still liked it :rockon:

[blacksheep]

I still liked it :rockon:

wot she said

[MotoGirl]

wot she said
Yep, I'm known for my fine taste :niceone:

[McJim]

I prefer the punchline "I licked my balls and snapped my neck"

[Morcs]

I was in Foodtown the other day buying a large bag of Pedigree for my dog and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no,
I was starting The Pedigree Diet again, although I probably
shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 20 kilo's before I awakened in an intensive
care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was
totally believing it. I told her that it was an easy,
inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your
pockets or handbag with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line
was by now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food
had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said "No..... I was sitting in the street licking my arse when a car hit me".

I can just imagine you doing that to someone.... would be pretty farking funny to watch :)

Nice one! :laugh:

[Storm]

Thats bloody classic! Well done that man

[DMNTD]

I can just imagine you doing that to someone...
Same hence why I didn't realise it was a Sniper-ism

[Beemer]

Even worse, it's a repost of a repost... http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=33600&highlight=licking+my+balls and http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=33877&highlight=licking+my+balls

[trumpy_girl69]

well thats one for the owners..............they say that most owners look like there pet............ spose thats cause they eat like them too.............i dont know:whocares: ..... well it was good for a laugh:clap:
:sherlock:

[mstriumph]

:shutup: ... erm ... :sick: i thought he was serious until the last line ... :o

[Macktheknife]

Even worse, it's a repost of a repost... http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=33600&highlight=licking+my+balls and http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=33877&highlight=licking+my+balls

And it I couldn't find it in a search, I looked and failed to find it. I grovelled and everything but still the beatings come... sigh.

[Sniper]

And it I couldn't find it in a search, I looked and failed to find it. I grovelled and everything but still the beatings come... sigh.

Who, where? You were pardoned. Are my minions running amoke?

[Macktheknife]

Who, where? You were pardoned. Are my minions running amoke?

Only if that is the same as amok, lol
I will stand and take the beatings like a man, after all do the crime, do the time etc.

[Sniper]

Only if that is the same as amok, lol
I will stand and take the beatings like a man, after all do the crime, do the time etc.

Doesnt matter, you were pardoned, tis NZ after all.

Damn, I knew I spelt that wrong.