Avoiding the Easter Hood ornament collection....

[gijoe1313]

Well, the day was fine, birds singing and my little ol'Hornet firing up it's usual sweet tune. I was pootling my way to school for the final day of minding those little cherubs. The road was long and straight, just me and a dear old thing in a little car, driving in the opposite lane. Usual biker habits kicking in, she's slowing down - no indicators. So as you do, you wash off speed and cover those levers a little more (I always ride with my levers covered! :yes:)

Well, all fine and dandy, I had my visor up - no sunnies and was making eye contact with her, I even did the little slalom approach for that extra attention grabbing bling (double check to make sure I don't have my flashies blinking away also).

And it went to custard from there.

Just as I almost come up to her, she decided to plant the foot and make the turn :gob: :sick:

I didn't have turn to swear, give her a nice finger or a blast of stebel goodness :sweatdrop

Time slowed down, I could feel my orifices closing and opening at the same time (you decide which, I, for the life of me couldn't! :shit: )

Emergency braking, looking for the safe way out to the right (left is a big no-no!), stop emergency braking, lean bike over, give it a little more gas and I miss her rear bumper by inches. I could have just patted her rear window, and if I had those streetfighter titanium knuckles I think I would have done more than pat the window! :angry2:

Anyhows, heart rate drops back from a heart-pounding night club techno-thrash beat, I wipe the sudden sweat from my eyes ...

... and the road is clear, the sky is sunny and blue, birds are singing ... and I'm swearing like a sailor denied a three day pass in the fleshpits of some soddom or gomorrah-like port city.

Life is grand. I feel more alive now and left wondering how my holidays would have been if I had been laid up in the hospital healing just enough in time for the new term to start :no: I thought about turning around and getting her rego, but I needed to find that nice calm spot I started the day with. Just the usual near-run thing we bikers have to put up with :no:

Ride safely out there people and avoid the Easter Hood Ornament collectors out there. They are driving and waiting to make their impression :eek5:

[James Deuce]

I'm staying home and doing some gardening. Just like I do on the first weekend of Summer and the last weekend of Summer.

[Devil]

Heh, yeah I had someone try and change lanes into me today. Saw them coming a mile off, they were two lanes away. Picked them up as soon as they start to change to the one next to me and just waited for them to keep coming. Sure enough they did. Blast of horn, 4wd swerves back to his lane.

This one actually pulled along next to me and apologised (I think, hah had my ipod on :P).

[more_fasterer]

Glad to hear that turned out OK. I would've turned around and kicked her door in though :angry2:

Anger management what?

[Midge]

i was riding behind a large que during busy time and sum lady decideshed pull right up beside me as if i was not there. Well did i give it to her my mate riding bitch tapped her on the bonnet she still didnt mve so she got the big boot into the side panel. I wonder if she didn't pull over to see if there was any damage (which there was) if she would have stayed trying to run me off the road.

[Griff]

Glad to know you didn't get collected.
Do you find as I do, that it is not just the initial incident, but it is also how you react over the the next 10 seconds when the adrenalin actually kicks in?

[Deviant Esq]

Well dealt with Joe, that could have been nasty! :eek5:
By the sounds of it you handled it very well, and saved your Hornet from more nasty bumps and scrapes as well as your own hide! I would have been quite a bit grumpier than you were post near-miss though... her rego being taken would have been the least of her worries! Glad your skills were up to the test though - some people just can't see for looking! :angry2:

I'll be in Paris over Easter and not on two wheels... but I'll try to avoid becoming a hood ornament anyway! :whistle:

[WRT]

Saw them coming a mile off, they were two lanes away.

Faaark, with lanes that wide, filtering must be breeze! Hell, even the buses could do it!

[Macktheknife]

Glad to hear you handled it really well mate, well done.
A timely reminder to be extra vigilant for dickhead cagers.

[Devil]

Faaark, with lanes that wide, filtering must be breeze! Hell, even the buses could do it!

I have to pretend thats a mile. My bike isn't that fast...

[Toaster]

Good result. I've had my share of fogged up visors after swearing and cursing at arrogant and ambivalent drivers.

[Insanity_rules]

Time slowed down, I could feel my orifices closing and opening at the same time (you decide which, I, for the life of me couldn't! :shit: )

I would have shit! I love those little moments that wake you up, when a brain dead cager with too many chromosomes, too little awareness and a lot of ball face ignorance decide to see if they can remove us from the gene pool.

Those wonderful sphincter clenching, spine tingling events that lead us to love our caged brothers and sisters to death and beyond if necessary. I would have (albeit respectfully) torn the chronologically challenged tin pilot a completely new orifice and invited her to a friendly discourse as to her particular occular deficit and ensured that she learnt a lesson in courtesy for other road users.

Glad you still with us GI and I hope that the faecal resedue has long cleared.

My god I'm feeling particularly intellectual today.

[Crisis management]

My god I'm feeling particularly intellectual today.

Could you provide a dictionary or translation with the next post, it's taken me 10 minutes to work out all them big words. :innocent:


You must be learning GI, a couple of months ago you would have just gone straight into her, well done :third:

It's obviously not just bikes tho today, some twat just tried to change lanes on top of me as well, and I was in the 4x4. Blind hardly describes it!

[Insanity_rules]

I would have shit! I love those little moments that wake you up, when a brain dead cager with too many chromosomes, too little awareness and a lot of ball face ignorance decide to see if they can remove us from the gene pool.

Those wonderful sphincter clenching, spine tingling events that lead us to love our caged brothers and sisters to death and beyond if necessary. I would have (albeit respectfully) torn the chronologically challenged tin pilot a completely new orifice and invited her to a friendly discourse as to her particular occular deficit and ensured that she learnt a lesson in courtesy for other road users.

Glad you still with us GI and I hope that the faecal resedue has long cleared.

My god I'm feeling particularly intellectual today.

Translation: Dont ya love it when a 6 fingered missing link pulls out in front of you and you fill your jeans (corduras, leathers).

I would have verbally shoved my foot up her ass, told her to get her eyes checked and ensured that she never did it again.

Glad GI's alive and hope he's cleaned the skids off his seat and pants.

That better?

[Crisis management]

Oooooooh, the service around here has really improved, that lurid yet lucid description is just what I needed.


Ta.

[Insanity_rules]

Oooooooh, the service around here has really improved, that lurid yet lucid description is just what I needed.


Ta.


Your welcome. Now off to tease traffic police. Insanity rules away!

[Lteejay]

Glad to hear your skills were up to the challenge GI Joe. Take care peoples

[zeocen]

Good on you for staying alive Joe

I swear, if gijoe made a book I would totally read it.

[Str8 Jacket]

Glad to hear your OK Joe!

I have found that since I have told myself that im not going to crash anymore I havent. (touching wood). I remember when I used to always crash because thats what I told myself I would do and I used to get sooo pissed off about it. Now after I have avoided many a dangerous fellow road user I just laugh and say to myself, "Ha ha, you didnt get me this time". If they did something really dumb then I'll tell them but I definately dont stress about it much anymore. It makes riding alot more enjoyable!

[gijoe1313]

Thanks for all the kind words peeps, none of us go out with the intention thinking "I'm going to have nice crash today!" :sick: As one person so eloquently stated before :

When the defecate hits the oscillitating machinery, you really know how you will react when it does! :shit:

Glad to hear my cornucopia of convuluted conversational conniptions has caught on with the company canvassing the thread here! :msn-wink:

Ride safely out there peeps, they want you, they are willing to go for you and it's just our abilities and a bit of luck to get us out of the poo! :scooter: :dodge: :gob: :yes:

[Str8 Jacket]

Thanks for all the kind words peeps, none of us go out with the intention thinking "I'm going to have nice crash today!" :sick: As one person so eloquently stated before :



No but some people have the attitude that "they always crash". Not saying that's you but it was definately me once. Funnily enough I did often crash back then. Being positive makes positive things happen. Being negative is the same....

[rwh]

i was riding behind a large que during busy time and sum lady decideshed pull right up beside me as if i was not there. Well did i give it to her my mate riding bitch tapped her on the bonnet she still didnt mve so she got the big boot into the side panel. I wonder if she didn't pull over to see if there was any damage (which there was) if she would have stayed trying to run me off the road.

Were you moving at the time? Did she come up on your left or your right? Did she remain within the lane? Were you right on the edge of your lane instead of holding your position in the middle? Doesn't sound much different to how bikes treat cars all the time, and I don't think there's any difference in the laws ...

Richard