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View Full Version : Bike Joke, kinda rude, don't read if you get offended



StoneChucker
26th August 2004, 17:28
There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a
nice big hog. So he's shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper, and
not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley
with a for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike
in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner:

"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it
in such good shape. "Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just
make
sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the
chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike
I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he
hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.

So the guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike
over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).

That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents'
house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make
a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs
her boyfriend's arm.

"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents before we
go
in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything
during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is
a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of
dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks,
dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the
situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word.
So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents,
but still they keep quiet.

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love
right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.

"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has
his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realises it's
starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he
pulls the Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father stands up and
shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."

Joni
26th August 2004, 17:40
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Skyryder
26th August 2004, 20:10
Yep the boyfriend got the right bike. :killingme :killingme :killingme

No offence to the Harley riders but that just came out of nowhere.

Skyryder

Blakamin
26th August 2004, 20:17
:2thumbsup :2thumbsup :2thumbsup

Hitcher
27th August 2004, 09:18
Hahahaha! A great way to start a Friday!

scumdog
27th August 2004, 09:58
Yep the boyfriend got the right bike. :killingme :killingme :killingme

No offence to the Harley riders but that just came out of nowhere.

Skyryder

Yeah, I guess it doesn't have quite the same impact if the bike is a "classic" Fireblade and the vasaline is to stop the plastic cracking :Pokey:

pete376403
6th September 2004, 10:40
A Northern Territory farm hand radios back to the farm manager.

"Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the ute. The pig's
OK, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of my ute and is
wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out."

The manager says "Ok, there's a 303 behind the seat. Take it, shoot the
pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him."

Five minutes later I the farm hand calls back.

"I did what you said boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and
removed him from the bull-bar. No problem there, but I still can't go
on".

"Now what's the f*****g problem?" raged the manager.

"Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck under
the right-front wheel arch".

scroter
6th September 2004, 13:46
A Northern Territory farm hand radios back to the farm manager.

"Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the ute. The pig's
OK, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of my ute and is
wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out."

The manager says "Ok, there's a 303 behind the seat. Take it, shoot the
pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him."

Five minutes later I the farm hand calls back.

"I did what you said boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and
removed him from the bull-bar. No problem there, but I still can't go
on".

"Now what's the f*****g problem?" raged the manager.

"Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck under
the right-front wheel arch".

bet the pig was speeding ha ha

SPman
6th September 2004, 20:58
..........
:laugh::laugh::killingme:killingme:2thumbsup

placidfemme
14th July 2005, 12:40
Sorry to dig up an old post but LMAO that is funny!!!!!!

hXc
14th July 2005, 12:58
Both of them are good infact...