The Trade Me questions thread

[skidMark]

ive discovered as most have alot of people ask damn stupid questions on trademe , and sometimes the answers are even stupider.

but here a funny one to get the ball rolling tell of any of your ones too

guy selling a vfr....

Q: do you still have the full toolkit? or at least the sparkplug hex and rear wheel adjuster? got an nc24 with niether and its a right c*** to work on..wanting to move up to a later model anyway (nc24's in bits after going halfway under a car and me 3m over it)

A: toolkit has usual rubbish, and a wheel adjuster - plug tool is for wrong bike. Mmmm cake....cake is nice to work on

guy selling a zxr...

Q: is this bike 2 stroke or 4 stroke, how many cylinders does it have.

A: it's 4 stroke because it has 4 cylinders.

some people don't deserve zxr's lol:done:

[Kittyhawk]

Expect it......coz I ask stupid questions haha

[judecatmad]

The questions on the 'iceberg' auction got me. They were posted somewhere, or sent around in an email.......bloody hilarious!

[skidMark]

Q: Would you swap for a set of steak knives in a presentation box?

A: Hmmmmm..... unfortunately not - but the guy with the GB400 could find steak knives very useful for when he throws a celebratory BBQ for managing a safe stoppie on his bike! :)

Q: Has the headlight fluid been replaced regularily and is it the front or rear wheel drive model?

A: Headlamps are always on "Dip" so fluid must be okay but may contain traces of nuts :) Looking at the photo it does appear that nothing drives the rear wheel, but it's chain driven (on the "passenger" side) and the chain & sprockets are new !)

[placidfemme]

Q: Has the headlight fluid been replaced regularily and is it the front or rear wheel drive model?[/COLOR]

A: Headlamps are always on "Dip" so fluid must be okay but may contain traces of nuts :) Looking at the photo it does appear that nothing drives the rear wheel, but it's chain driven (on the "passenger" side) and the chain & sprockets are new !)

bahaha... that one takes the cake

[MidnightMike]

guy selling a zxr...

Q: is this bike 2 stroke or 4 stroke, how many cylinders does it have.

A: it's 4 stroke because it has 4 cylinders.


Does that mean triples are 3 strokers? :mellow:

[Kittyhawk]

*shakes head*

[Quartermile]

Does that mean triples are 3 strokers? :mellow:
No Mike it means you have a 2-stroke :laugh:

[Curious_AJ]

HAHA!, gotta love them trademe idiots... ive only ever bought one thing... but I have seen many many silly things...

[miSTa]

Q: Has the headlight fluid been replaced regularily and is it the front or rear wheel drive model?

A: Headlamps are always on "Dip" so fluid must be okay but may contain traces of nuts :) Looking at the photo it does appear that nothing drives the rear wheel, but it's chain driven (on the "passenger" side) and the chain & sprockets are new !)


bahaha... that one takes the cake

Fantastic! :rofl:

[Quartermile]

HAHA!, gotta love them trademe idiots... ive only ever bought one thing... but I have seen many many silly things...
:shutup:Awwwwww, this is a gimmie

[MidnightMike]

No Mike it means you have a 2-stroke :laugh:


Shit! :shit:




*kicks bike over*

[skidMark]

Shit! :shit:




*kicks bike over*

lol

all u need is 2 more strokes i mean err cylinders lol, and 750 more cc

[Curious_AJ]

:shutup:Awwwwww, this is a gimmie

don't you dare....

[NighthawkNZ]

bahaha... that one takes the cake

mmmm cake... cake is good to work on :lol:

[skidMark]

anybody got any other funny ones they remember?

[Donor]

Not bike related, but we bought a front door (house) some months back.

Someone had asked "Which way does the door open?"

That's the only non-deliberate stupid question I have seen lately...

[skidMark]

Not bike related, but we bought a front door (house) some months back.

Someone had asked "Which way does the door open?"

That's the only non-deliberate stupid question I have seen lately...

lol sum people are thick eh lol

[Virago]

Not bike related, but we bought a front door (house) some months back.

Someone had asked "Which way does the door open?"

That's the only non-deliberate stupid question I have seen lately...

Not a silly question really, perhaps could have been worded a little better.

If it was already fitted with latch and hinges, was it hinged left or right?

[Jorja]

was selling a lounge suit on there last week. When I took the pic it had been raining and must have had some drops of water on the lense. I didn't notice when I listed them. Short time later I got this question.

Q. hi just been looking at the pick what are all those spots my sister reckons they are orbs -GHOSTS!!!!! or are they just dust particals

after telling her about the rain drops I got this one back.

Q. okay im a chicken scared of ghost.... heres a random question only a question i would ask haha.... did anyone die on the couch???? my sisters got me woundering..... thanks

Must admit when I saw the pic it did look werid.

[skidMark]

was selling a lounge suit on there last week. When I took the pic it had been raining and must have had some drops of water on the lense. I didn't notice when I listed them. Short time later I got this question.

Q. hi just been looking at the pick what are all those spots my sister reckons they are orbs -GHOSTS!!!!! or are they just dust particals

after telling her about the rain drops I got this one back.

Q. okay im a chicken scared of ghost.... heres a random question only a question i would ask haha.... did anyone die on the couch???? my sisters got me woundering..... thanks

Must admit when I saw the pic it did look werid.

i wouldve said, did you make a porno on said couch?

[Jorja]

funnily enough she hasn't come to collect it yet. maybe she really thinks they are qhosts in the pic lol

[Coyote]

Q: What are your lap times around Manfield on this bike. Can it do big wheelies. Would you trade my 1970 Vauxhall Viva on this? it's only done 483000 miles, and has Ward mags and extractors. I was hoping to get $2000 for it.

A: Oh yeah,i,d love to trade my bike for your piece of shite Vauxhall Viva.If i find out where you live i,ll come and wheelstand over you and your car

:lol:

[Quartermile]

Q: if a woman dresses like a skank does she deserve to be raped? I mean, how can you blame the guy?? its instinct.

A: Mate i dont no what sort of personal problems you have but it'd be swell if you could keep them to your self.

[0arbreaka]

Q: Nice gearz. Would you be willing to sell me some crack though? My dealer recently got arrested and my supplies have been very low as of late ogodhelpmehelpmehelpmehelpmekthankx

A: Bro, would rather not give out my address or contact details because I haven't finished painting my house with radar and radio reflective paint. In the meantime you can contact me via word of mouth and I'll sort you out a couple of keys! Talk to Dave from Botany, and he'll let Steve know, who will let Sarah know, who will talk to her cousin's uncle, who knows a guy who can get in touch with me. Sweet bro! SWEET! OK! AWESOME. SWEEEEEEEEEEET.

[skidMark]

Q: Nice gearz. Would you be willing to sell me some crack though? My dealer recently got arrested and my supplies have been very low as of late ogodhelpmehelpmehelpmehelpmekthankx

A: Bro, would rather not give out my address or contact details because I haven't finished painting my house with radar and radio reflective paint. In the meantime you can contact me via word of mouth and I'll sort you out a couple of keys! Talk to Dave from Botany, and he'll let Steve know, who will let Sarah know, who will talk to her cousin's uncle, who knows a guy who can get in touch with me. Sweet bro! SWEET! OK! AWESOME. SWEEEEEEEEEEET.

bwahahahahahahaha

[skidMark]

OMFG LOL



Q:Is this the model than runs on chip fat???
A:I tend to run this on the road, with both wheels down, not one side down. I thought it was the fireblade series that ran on such fuids

Q: Re Chip fat.......do you think this is the reason that ZX10's and GSXR 750's slide well on their right hand sides??? Re giving your right leg......... I could do with one as mine does not work at present. How much? Is it in good condition? Do you have a spare back I could borrow?

A:Sorry but it seems I'm spineless, and have two left feet. For anyone to drop/lowside their bike on the right side.... well, they must have been holding on to some fat, rather than riding properly :) Could possibly consider live liver donation though - if you have a machine that goes "BING" 4:23 pm, Wed 11 Apr

dear god the morning laugh i needed rofl

[ynot slow]

got to love the idiots who ask "do you have buy now"in auto adds,especially after add says no buy nows.or whats your reserve when it says reserve is xxx

[more_fasterer]

Like the auction I had for my PS2 I sold a couple of years ago:

Q: hi,whta is the lowest price would you take for it.thanks
A: The reserve price. Thanks. :rolleyes:

[yod]

my mate was selling an RG150 a while back - it was $1800 no reserve and some tosser asked this:

Q: would you take $1800 for it?

:rofl:

[nickchilli]

Q;
HI WHAT IS THE MODEL OF YOUR HEATER? 3:49 pm, Mon 4 Jun
A:
hi, its a model 329T heater thanks 4:31 pm, Mon 4 Jun **IT HAS A BOX WITH THIS WRITTEN ON IT IN THE PIC YOU DUMBASS******

[marty]

would u be keen on a v8 commadorefull cert new reg wof sakd on 17"s plus some cash i also see yourve been trying to sell 4 ages whats wrong with it posted by: rotaheaven (13 ) 3:30 am, Tue 26 Jun
HI THERE: NOTHING WRONG WITH THE CAR, I SPEND 30.000 00 DOLLARS ON THE CAR,IF I SELL FOR THAT PRICE I WILL, ORI WILL NOT SELING CHEPPER, I WILL KEEPED,IF YOU SAND ME YOUR CAR PICTURE, AND WHATS CASH YOUR OFFER, THANKS. 9:44 am, Tue 26 Jun



http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Specialist-cars/Competition-cars/auction-106169359.htm

[Bullitt]

The one that annoys me is from the opposite side with sellers not wanting to disclose their reserve. All you have to do is bid up 14% at a time.

[skidMark]

The one that annoys me is from the opposite side with sellers not wanting to disclose their reserve. All you have to do is bid up 14% at a time.


come again?

[inlinefour]

The guy that brought it turned the key on and proceeded to turn it over until the battery was flat and then started push starting it on the road. Coaster rings me while I'm in a wheelchair taxi in ChCh, remembering the bike was in New Plymouth. Was asked how I start the bike up, which I replied turn the fuel tap on and pull the choke out. I was then asked where the fuel tap and choke was. I told them and of course the bike started straight away. I allmost told the buyer (or turkey as I thought) that he was too stupid to own my DRZ400, but wanted the money. Funny in reflection of the sale, appartently the same bike is for sale again. A few of my friends got quite scared on the bike and would not ride it again. I just knew I was destroying alot of rear tyres. Apparently it was because I tending to go around some courners slightly sideways. Dunno, I was just having fun, was told by the rider on the bike behind me on the pie and pint rides...

[Bullitt]

come again?

Sorry this thead probably wasnt the right place for my comment, Id just bid on a couple of items to see what the reserve was whether I should be interested and was abit frustrated.

[skidMark]

dnt need to apoligize i'm just to dumb to get what you meant lol

[yod]

ok....click the link for my VFR auction below and check it out

1st - the guy asks how much to ship - my attitude is generally "find out for yourself noddy, im not a freight forwarder!" but in this case, since I've already bought my new bike and just want the cash from the VFR, I decided to help him out so I flicked off an email to biketranz.....

2nd - on an auction that is $1700 NO RESERVE, he asks if i'll take $2000 cash....um gee let me think about that....

3rd - then....after me explaining that it's $1700 no reserve so blah blah blah, he puts on a start bid of $1750 !??!?! WTF?!?!??! no complaints from me....

[avgas]

Q) Does this phone have txting
A) Being only the charger.....no

On a scooter auction recently a guy asked me whats the lowest i would take. Told him i'd accept $900.......he then offers me $600....next week.
I told him fine - i'd offer him the bike next year.

[bane]

Some people are missing their funny bone...

Comment: Good lord, man, 1300km in two years? I did more mileage than on my current bike the weekend I bought it. You've wound back that digital odometer, haven't you? Admit it! ;-) posted by: jrandom

Answer: Piss off idiot, inspection of the bike will confirm the km


http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Motorbikes/Motorbikes/Sports/auction-114637812.htm?p=7

[megageoff76]

For sale, old funkyass Guitar
Selling as is. I won't post it so pick up only. I work in Wgtn city so can arrange a MEAT if easy.


Q:Mmmm I love meat! posted by: gttdan (57 )

A: Possibly the greatest statement ever made on Trademe. Certainly deserves a list of my personal favourites: Steak - Eye fillet of course but you can't go past rump for pure bang for buck action. Pork - Roast it for me. And chuck on heaps of that sweet, sweet skin. Mmmm Lamb - Lets engineer them bigger. Bacon - does not deserve to be last on this list and should have it's own religious holiday. Over and out.

Q: hay man i live at the mount but come to welly on occasion . if i brought this of you wouold u hold it for a couple of weeks till i get my sh*t sorted out or get some one to get it for me. steak is the best food in the world. there sould be a compusary steak hoilday posted by: porkeynz (49 ) 4

A: Steak is the king of meats so a fine call. Nice login name too. I like to think of Pork as the queen of meats and there's nothing wrong with eating a queen. No worries about holding onto it. Have done for years so another couple of weeks is sweet. Much like apple sauce on pork.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=96438008

[skidMark]

ahhh the joys and wonders of the internet aye :spanking:

[Angusdog]

Sold a washing machine recently, and this question surprised me a bit, so I replied appropriately:

Q: Could you give me the measurement across the front in cm please? I don't care who's sperm you've washed off who's dress :o) I just need to know it's less than 62 cm wide.. gracias

A: Just as well I don't have to answer questions about washing sperm as I have to be in bed by 11.00pm and it's already 9:15... The washing machine is less than 60cm wide. Hope this helps.

[Krusti]

When selling the TLR recently had it on TM 6000 start bid, 6000 reserve. Guy rang and offered 4500!

Other question we always get is, how much do you want?

As much as I can get! Bid and find out.

Funny how those who ask the most questions never bid anyway.

[Naki Rat]

From a set of tyres on rims:

Hi Would you know how many stud holes on these rims, Cheers.

Not sure sorry. If you phone the holden dealer they will tell you. They are off a 89 holden calais :doh:

[kevfromcoro]

From a set of tyres on rims:

Hi Would you know how many stud holes on these rims, Cheers.

Not sure sorry. If you phone the holden dealer they will tell you. They are off a 89 holden calais :doh:
...
Ha ha,,,yr joking right.

[marty]

Some people are missing their funny bone...

Comment: Good lord, man, 1300km in two years? I did more mileage than on my current bike the weekend I bought it. You've wound back that digital odometer, haven't you? Admit it! ;-) posted by: jrandom

Answer: Piss off idiot, inspection of the bike will confirm the km


http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Motorbikes/Motorbikes/Sports/auction-114637812.htm?p=7


would be THIS Jrandom would it ?>>>>>>> http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/member.php?u=3866

[bane]

would be THIS Jrandom would it ?>>>>>>> http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/member.php?u=3866

you may very well think that, but "good lord, man", I couldnt possibly comment

[Swoop]

Took a while to find, and the photo of the parts has gone, but the infamous auction is here. Bids were in excess of a $million, IIRC.

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Electronics-photography/Other/auction-36725938.htm

Unfinished project.
Started making a machine to facillitate time travel, unfortunately I just dont have the time to complete it.

Have had mixed results, so no guarantees.

Would suit DIY handyman with quantum physics background or similar intersest.

No time wasters please !

Would consider swap for anti-gravity machine.

QUESTIONS:
Comments on this auction
Do you have the flux capacitor to go with this? I can't see it in the photo.. posted by: studio1 (394 ) 5:06 pm, Tue 27 Sep
This model does not use a flux capacitor to reduce the time dilation effect. Are you sure you know what you are doing ?

Does this run on mains? What's the reserve? What will postage be to Palmerston North? posted by: izzy_dude (87 ) 8:24 pm, Tue 27 Sep
The machine can be self powered if you can find a source of Uranium 235. Alternatively it can run of mains power supply. Postage anywhere in NZ, anytime $5

haha. great stuff. +bids+ posted by: westyandseven (123 ) 4:20 am, Wed 28 Sep
haha. If its so great why arent you bidding ?

I've got a space continuum transfunctioner. Would you consider swaping it for that? It's a bit rough and ready and blows a little bule smoke but appears to be running ok. posted by: allmypukunui (24 ) 10:23 am, Wed 28 Sep
space continuum transfunctioners are old school. I used to have one and it blew blue smoke too, just before it blew up. Get rid of it now.

I'd like to go back & see my Great Uncle Rodney when he was 18 because he skulled a jug of beer in only 3.2 seconds & I'd certainly like to see that! I'm pretty sure that I have the necessary skills to complete the project too. I got a C+ in 4th form Science & two sticky red stars. posted by: mrshin (363 ) 1:34 pm, Wed 28 Sep
Certainly an event worthy of time travel. And if any one can get this puppy working, its you - with your fancy two red stars, and forth form education.

Will this machine be capable of going forwards as well as backwards it time. I built one in 2052 that only went backwards and I haven't been able to get back to my time. I need one that can go boths ways so I can come back to this time to feed the cat I have. posted by: jd10 (234 ) 2:07 pm, Wed 28 Sep
interesting dilema, but simply answered by the formula : dt = dt' . (1 - v²/c²)1/2 which i have designed the device around, in theory past and future travel should be possible. I have sympathy for you and your cat, but when amateurs play with time travel this is what happens.

i looove it... its a master piece in progress ;p posted by: moooona (254 ) 6:47 pm, Wed 28 Sep
this is not a piece of conceptual art. it is a very serious quantum level time travelling device - well would be if it worked.

Does it have fast forward, rewind and pause? posted by: izzy_dude (87 ) 9:21 am, Thu 29 Sep
Time is a little more complicated than fast forwarding, rewinding and pause. The time reference dilator is capable of such functions but the theory behind it is somewhat unproven. It does have an eject button if thats any help ?

[Swoop]

Here's a curly question... If I traveled back in time to when I was ten years old, do you think it would be illegal for me to fondle my younger self? posted by: absolut (22 ) 2:13 pm, Thu 29 Sep
in a court of law i believe what you are describing would be classed as Self pleasure, or perhaps self abuse Either way both are perfectly legal no matter what the age. If you were caught they would have issues proving it via DNA anyway

Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Would this machine be able to take me back in time so I could take State? posted by: nzjafa (2 ) 3:10 pm, Thu 29 Sep
you need to give up on your glory years, and live for the now. A quarter mile is pretty impressive though, is that for real ?

Does the eftpos machine work on Pre-pay time credits or pay as you travel? posted by: steve__ (26 ) 3:31 pm, Thu 29 Sep
i see you have mistaken the time defliberator for an old eftpos machine. Easy mistake for beginners to time travel to make, they do look similar.

If I am successful with my bid, do you think there is sufficient grunt in the machine to go back to the beginning of this auction, wipe out all memory of it, so I don't have to pay you. posted by: bubbs29 (81 ) 4:04 pm, Thu 29 Sep
if the auction dosnt take place, you would never have the time machine, so you would be stuck in the past, with no machine to get back to the present. time is a dangerous thing to play with, and you really need to carefully consider the consequences, before you start mucking with the past, and breaching time continuation

Ha! Call me an amateur. I just fixed my time machine. All I had to do was put the AA batteries in the other way round and now it goes forwards in time! See you suckers later, Im going back to the future. Oh and as a heads up to the winner of this auction everything in the future is chrome posted by: jd10 (234 ) 4:29 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Please note AA batteries were only invented in 1968 so dont go back beyond this time. Also they will be phased in 2010 due to the invention of the organic fuel cell, brought on by the severe depletion of the worlds battery resources. So dont go forward in time past this date.

Yes I do know what I am doing.. without the flux capacitor I can't modulate the 21 gigawatts of energy I need to transmogrify the time / space continuum. So far all attempts to locate a flux capacitor have proved fruitless, hence why I haven't been able to time travel. They've got them in the future, but I can't get there to get one. posted by: studio1 (394 ) 4:39 pm, Thu 29 Sep
I dont know a great deal about flux capacitors as my machine does not use one. You could try getting in contact with Marty McFly, his delorean time machine is based on Flux capaitation and he maybe able to supply you with one. May pay to get a couple cos they dont last to long apparently. I think I saw one for sale on trademe a while back..

I have half of my cheese and tomato sandwich left from lunch, would you consider a trade? posted by: adamstar (57 ) 4:44 pm, Thu 29 Sep
What kind of dressing ?

do you think i could get your theory on paper so i can build my own time machine, all i need is a prtable phone, efptos machine, shit coomputer tower, headset, spard floppy disc and some random wires,.....that way i can go back and have sex with any one i want no mater what they say and it would be legal because by the time i am back in this time i wouldnt of aged a bit so they will be looking for someone 15 years older....... this machine sounds great...maybe i could be a hero and stop the 7/1 posted by: sldwys1 (50 ) 4:48 pm, Thu 29 Sep
unfortunately its all in my head, and a bit hard to explain to people not hip with the theories behing time travel. you seems to have the parts down, but you also need a positive, can do attitude, and a certain amount of qunatum physics knowledge. And an awful lot of patience. it amazes me how many people wish to use time travel for sexual gratification, it is not what it was designed for.

I am particularly saddened to have been outbid. However $9.52 was the limit of my budget (being as it is 76% of my annual income). By the way, what are these things that go whoosh when they pass my buggy on the road? posted by: rogerp (509 ) 4:48 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Those things going woosh would be cars going the speed limit. You should consider a new job, a monkey gets paid more in a zoo.

Would it be safe for pets? posted by: bigbobthefob (82 ) 5:10 pm, Thu 29 Sep
The testing I have carried out to date involved animals. I received varying results and dont want to disclose to much because the SPCA may get wind of this. Im sure if you were able to get it working correctly it would be safe for all organic life forms.

ATTENTION ALL BIDDERS AND WATCHERS ALIKE! I have already won this auction. I collected the incomplete model and I used my skills to complete the project in only 42 days. I then travelled back in time just to send you this message to prove that it actually works ! I am a genius. Also the winning lotto numbers for this Saturday are: 6, 9, 23, 29, 32, 37 & 40. The powerball is 19. posted by: mrshin (363 ) 5:20 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Cool, it seems this auction ends with a successful bid. congratulations!

what does it do. if the edge reads this i am the man shout out to 50 cent from te kowhai posted by: soliduz (54 ) 5:25 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Yea Wordup 50 Cent!! he's my home boy from da hood.... we go way back.

Hi ; can you confirm that the phase modulation has been accurately calibrated on this. I've read on the geeksquad forums that incorrectly calibrated phase modulation while time travelling can make a guy grow boobies. posted by: arcad23 (99 ) 5:29 pm, Thu 29 Sep
I have noticed this i had put it down to old age and The Noodle Box but you have me thinking....

YES I HAVE A ANTI GRAVITY MACHINE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SWAP. COULD YOU FINISH YOUR TIME MACHINE AND BRING IT TO TAURANGA AND GO BACK IN TIME TO WHEM MY ANTI GRAVITY MACHINE KICKED INTO GEAR AND FLOATED OFF TOWARDS THE SUN, IF YOU CAN DO THIS IT WILL PREVENT IT TAKING OFF AND THEN YOU CAN SWAP IT. THANKYOU FROM JASON. posted by: jase59 (150 ) 5:29 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Sorry the reserve price has already been met.

Hi Mike, This is great!! My dad was once a Great Viking Warrior in his past life.This would make a great present for him to go back in time and find out where and when he was killed in battle.WATCHING WITH INTEREST!!! as he still displays many viking attributes today. posted by: dancer17 (223 ) 5:37 pm, Thu 29 Sep
unfortunately you have missed fathers day. Possibly the perfect fathers day gift. good to see your motives are for time travel are genuine and historical, not to distort time or go on some crazy rampage, for your own gain. Good for you

If I bought this, and then went back in time and stopped myself buying the time machine, would I completly disapear? Or would it cause a rip in the space/time continium and cause the earth to fold in on itself? posted by: cjh1 (474 ) 5:41 pm, Thu 29 Sep
You see this is the issue. people like you who want to experiment with time and see "what would happen". What if the earth did fold in on its self...then what. Whoops ......! Time travel is very serious and there are HUGE repurcussions, with breaking the time continuim. With time travel comes a certain responsibility to the rest of man kind.

can i go bak to when powerball was 16mill and win lotto,that would be fantastically methologacally great posted by: kurto48 (65 ) 6:16 pm, Thu 29 Sep
A machine of this sort should mot be used for personal gain...

sushi anyone ??????????? posted by: jmanshande (226 ) 7:11 pm, Thu 29 Sep
I rather like Noodle Box if your buying?

[Swoop]

Can you please tell me how many speeds the dischargeable time synchroniser has. Also, does the machine operate at the same speed going forward as in going backwards, and if so how long would it take me to travel backwards 100 years. posted by: bubbs29 (81 ) 7:33 pm, Thu 29 Sep
It is an older Synchroniser Forward is 16X Speed backwards 4X Speed

would you be willing to swap for The Tardis, which i have in my possession. Its the original that Doctor Who himself used. posted by: trade51 (26 ) 8:03 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Does it come with Billie Piper?

hi does it have seating and for how many.does the phone work and what network is it on thankes posted by: alana30 (29 ) 8:15 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Sorry you will have to supply your own seats as i am now using mine in my home theater.

I have 3 money growing trees planted on the moon. Would you consider a trade for 1? posted by: shano38 (18 ) 8:40 pm, Thu 29 Sep
how big are these money trees, and how do you harvest the money, as i know for a fact moon travel is an impossibility. it is impossible to get to the moon to get harvest the money. despite this i will definately consider a swap.

Hey does this travel to 8.10pm Saturdays and then return to Friday nite. Mmmm this is sounding real good and hey cheap when you think of being able to win lotto each week. And ah this is just the start. Maybe I better consult the bank manager for a quicky loan. posted by: teddybearlady (340 ) 8:43 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Funnilly enough I could never get it to travel to 8.10pm Saturday. What is your bank managers name and I can give him a call if you like. Lotto is small time - with the power to travel time you can think big.

howz it do u wana swap 4 my sole have a look at my listings posted by: lowedvtec (43 ) 8:51 pm, Thu 29 Sep
That depends. What kind of shoe is your sole from?

Does this unit allow you to travel sideways through time, if so, how many miles to the litre? Also, could you confirm that this is a genuine time-travel device, as my last few time-machine purchases turned out to be frauds. posted by: brandoooon (19 ) 8:53 pm, Thu 29 Sep
No it does not allow sideways travel through time as this unit was only designed to work 1-dimesionaly. It also does not depend on any non-renewable hydrocarbon resource for power. I can confirm this is a genuine work-in-progress and you would only be cheating yourself by not getting it working.

Hi Mike, on the previous listing, I asked a question, I believe it is still pertinent to this listing, could you please answer it, cheers Johnee. posted by: johnee (226 ) 9:09 pm, Thu 29 Sep
If the device was currently working i would be able to go back in time to check your question, unfortunetly it is still in its unfinished state so you will need to repost the question.

could you give me the full formula for the physics of this machine, i will need it if i am going to continue to work on this invention, thanks posted by: godave (34 ) 9:11 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Yes but it wont be what you expected!

If you dont have time why dont you just complete it and then go back in time to when you didnt have time and then you would have already finished it. Duh posted by: lin40 (4 ) 9:41 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Your pretty smart! If you got this time machine i'd bet you would be smart enough to make it work... but your probably to busy trying to cure cancer or something.

Are you all completely out of your minds?? posted by: shebedevil (161 ) 10:03 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Moon struck thunder over the swamp in autumn, rules and customs are disregarded. Contradictions say both yes and no and you must try to understand both sides.

i will be your giney pig on a bogus jerney if you send me back i will mack sure hallen clark taks all her beauty sleep not just 2 hours a night ,i will allso make time stand still when when i get out bid on my next auction call me about the giney pig deal any "time" on 0900 spaceman. thanks 4 your time.ps do u have a buy now ,or yesterday ,or tomorw posted by: pepe5 (67 ) 10:13 pm, Thu 29 Sep
I have actually trialed this on a Guinea pig and the results were not pleasing. My legal advice is i need some serious arse consent forms signed before I do any more "trials". i actually have a theory that helen Clark is a space traveller from both a differnt time, planet and dimension. her politics actively demotes research into time travel,

have you programmed, or allowed for, a few memory times? perhaps so when you have to leave a time in a hurry you can do so? as i have a few 'jobs' i have to do, and they will require quick exit.... posted by: chris_2million (20 ) 10:32 pm, Thu 29 Sep
Sounds awfully suspicous. Quantum physists are renowned for their high ethics and morals. I would have to question your motives and interest in time travel. It is unsafe to have just anyone travelling the tides of time, there is so much potential for so much damage to be done

Hi i have something that can solve your problems cheque out my listing 4 one preloved timeing light good nik has helped in meany time related matters like getting the dloren up in runing and my phonebox please reply to DR who at the red phonebox on the corner of the world just past santas place ,thanks 4 your time ps you can buy now the timeing light 4 $one pot of gold,or a bank cheque. posted by: pepe5 (67 ) 10:36 pm, Thu 29 Sep
there is nothing wrong with the timing, the issue seems to be with the particle atomization unit, its making a clunking noise. And tends to rematerilise objects anatomically incorrect. I.e it once put a guinea pigs arse on its face, and its face on its arse.

I have noticed recent eddies in the space/time continuum. Does this reflect your recent testing regime with your machine? posted by: historyman (268 ) 12:11 am, Fri 30 Sep
Perhaps or maybe your losing your mind?

[Swoop]

Oops, another question: does the main power source have adaptive capability allowing for mating to an Improbability Drive? Second sub-question: is the user manual translated by the same guy that wrote on a $2 shop toy "Plug you in and watch for educative flashing effect of lights"? posted by: historyman (268 ) 12:16 am, Fri 30 Sep
One question per person please.

These questions and answers are the funniest thing I have ever seen on TradeMe! Brilliant! posted by: arrh (206 ) 12:58 am, Fri 30 Sep
What that Auction for season 1 and 2 of Americas funniest home videos. That show is some funny as shit. Bob saget rocks Hard !!! that was the funniest thing I ever saw on trademe !

I would like to know where you got the patent for this time machine from.As i am part in a group of professionals dedicated to creating and marketing "spare time"...I believe a copyright infringmint may have occured here by you. I will contact my research and development department ( I believe they are on the couch in the middle of research atm ) and discuss this further with them. posted by: woosh (56 ) 8:20 am, Fri 30 Sep
Let them discuss all they like with a time machine copyright infringmint is not an issue.

I want to avoid the use of nuclear power and stick with mains. Have you worked out the number of metres of cable required per year of travel. Does it vary going forward or backward? I've got the recipe for elastic copper wire. Could this help in its range. If so perhaps some of those followong this auction would like to make me an offer. posted by: bazz34 (16 ) 10:08 am, Fri 30 Sep
i havent figured out the length needed per year yet. I found out the hard way that a 20 metre cable isnt long enough for 5 years of time travel - the cord was yanked out at the wall, and I lost my cat inbetween times. retrieved the machine by pulling on the cord. Elastic copper wire could be useful for bungy time travelling.

ATTENTION ALL BIDDERS AND WATCHERS ALIKE! I have already won this auction. I collected the incomplete model and I used my skills to complete the project in only 42 days. I then travelled back in time just to send you this message to prove that it actually works ! I am a genius. Also the winning lotto numbers for this Saturday are: 6, 9, 23, 29, 32, 37 & 40. The powerball is 19. posted by: mrshin (146 ) 5:20 pm, Thu 29 Sep posted by: mrshin (363 ) 10:37 am, Fri 30 Sep
To ensure history continuity it is vital that you win this bid, and also do not meet your self in a differnt time. So you actually need to bid!!! Great to hear you got it going, was it the flux capacitor or the time reference dilator ?

I'm very interested in upgrading to your machine, as mine is getting a bit worn......can I come and inspect your machine..?? How does last Wednesday sound...?? posted by: biggzblues (27 ) 10:49 am, Fri 30 Sep
Sorry i had a court arraignment last Wednesday.

Do you have a perpetual motion machine for sale? posted by: jovi1 (99 ) 10:50 am, Fri 30 Sep
Of course not! Everyone knows this is impossible! Have you not read the laws of Thermodynamics?

I bet it isn't 90% fat free per 100 grams!! posted by: peanutaxis (34 ) 10:54 am, Fri 30 Sep
I bet you it is.

Bubbs29 had an interesting question about wiping the auction. Your answer Miked was quite incorrect. I recently bid on http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/listings/listings_search_results.asp?searchtype=GENERAL& searchstring=36725312&searchregion=100 and succeeded, then notified Trademe who withdrew the auction - but I still have Skippy. Neither Trademe, the Police, nor the original seller can prove I don't have it. If anyone visits I merely go back in time to prior to Skippy's pool being com posted by: thbean (3 ) 10:55 am, Fri 30 Sep
http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/listings/listings_search_results.asp?searchtype=GENERAL&searchstring=36725312&searchregion=100

Cont: If anyone visits I merely go back in time to prior to Skippy's pool being completed - It is of course the Wellington Harbour which I closed off. Sorry forgot to let everyone now that all ferry sailings have stopped to ensure Skippy's safety. posted by: thbean (3 ) 10:56 am, Fri 30 Sep
Bob saget is no longer the funniest thing on trade me - check the link above... a dolphin for sale.... and I was worried about the SPCA. Thats brilliant.

WANTED: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. PO BOX 6657 TARANAKI. NEW PLYMOUTH You will get paid when we get back. Must bring own weapons, saftey isnt guarenteed. Ive only done this once before. whos keen? if i win this auction maybe it could be you....... like charlie and the willy wonkaz P posted by: spasticated (176 ) 10:56 am, Fri 30 Sep
time travel is fraught with danger, and not for the inexperienced. I suggest only seasoned/veteran time soliders answer this add. Also this auction is not a personal add for you to advise for travelling companions or single woman who like walks on the beach.

I am a celebrity from "sing like a superstar"...with this machine, can I go back in time to the moment when I signed up, and simply rip up the contract instead ?? posted by: carmm (34 ) 10:58 am, Fri 30 Sep
Is this Nick from shortland st?

can i buy this yesterday? posted by: godzillas-kid (33 ) 10:59 am, Fri 30 Sep
The inner truth says you know the answer already.

I bought the GE Time Travel 2000 two weeks ago. I have just come back from 1.05pm, Tuesday the 4th and “Izzy Dude” from Palmy wins the auction with a bid for $251. Quite a bargain really considering the windfall he’ll have on number 7, race 4 at Alexandra next Saturday. Up until now only he and I knew that. posted by: tumekepinga (12 ) 11:04 am, Fri 30 Sep
"Izzy Dude" sounds like jellymeat i wouldnt beleave a word hes saying put your money on No9 "Big Girls Are Fun"

No, its cocksey....What was I thinking? posted by: scuzzy (70 ) 11:06 am, Fri 30 Sep
I recently saw you in a Hamilton night club dancing, i dont know what you were thinking then either.

[Swoop]

On the off chance....if you travel back(and forward) does this effect the ageing process??...i am a firm believer in reincarnation...and would love to go back to me prev life! I know to avoid the "ageing process", you need to add a multi atomising perplexer advance control device, with a preloaded dysanctym driver to the machine....does this beast have such a device loaded?? posted by: jamiecooper (26 ) 11:12 am, Fri 30 Sep
See the above "Man Breast" reply.

more fm in whangarei wanted to contact and talk tou its all good contact dave posted by: dolphin4 (180 ) 11:15 am, Fri 30 Sep
Are they serious bidders ?

I see the machine has a New Zealand 2-pin power plug on it. Does this mean that travelling is restricted to no further back than the invention electricity? And how would I get on if I wanted to witness an event overseas? Do you supply a travel adaptor? posted by: steve98 (72 ) 11:17 am, Fri 30 Sep
You should be able to pick up a travel adaptor from any DSE store for around $30.00, figure this cost into your final bid amount.

My DeLoren is stuck in 930BC and the time travell unit is knacked. Does the new one come with Road side Assistance???????? posted by: rogem (176 ) 11:17 am, Fri 30 Sep
I am sure you could apply to AA Mutual

Also, is this an 021 or an 027? posted by: steve98 (72 ) 11:19 am, Fri 30 Sep
There is no phone attached to this device you are confusing the phone looking device with the "Flash sequence time modulator dial up".

Hey there. I have an ultimate Corbon Tube, do you know if it will fit Bitronian ultrazector belt? I am currently building a T9 ULTRA PARALLAX ZURG. I was curious to know if you had a proton Xyler? Otherwise, very interested. posted by: vin05 (21 ) 11:21 am, Fri 30 Sep
No it wont fit, unless you machine 1.45 mm off the end. i spent ages trying to fit it. A proton xyler, wow thats pretty flashy, I wish I had one then i could maybe get this puppy up and running. i cant afford the fancy gear, my misssus is always moaning about how much I spend on my silly time travel idea. nag nag nag

Hi. My names John Titor from the year 2036 and I am currently having troubles with my Dual Singularity Kerr field. I need to get back to my own future past time in a hurry and I was wondering what the mass offset distance is on this puppy? Also did it come with flash back arrestors? Are the parts compatible with 2036 designs? What time jump are you from anyway? posted by: hexapod (12 ) 11:34 am, Fri 30 Sep
Hi John im sorry to hear you are currently stuck in 2005... must kinda suck to be you.

does it run on batteries??????? posted by: tacman1 (9 ) 11:43 am, Fri 30 Sep
The machine can be self powered if you can find a source of Uranium 235. Alternatively it can run of mains power supply if you have a very long extension cord

What the hell is a jigowatt? posted by: steve98 (72 ) 11:45 am, Fri 30 Sep
Organically geometric modular rings from outer space

Seriously dude. This thing rocks. I got it from Trude. No idea who she got it from. Great to see the original pages. Very cool. Can't say I miss it though. Whoever never did get the spatial retemporalizer working propery. (My hair wil never be the same.) Now using the Sunlight-IV model. Looking forward to see who the winner is :-) posted by: xtl (0 ) 11:49 am, Fri 30 Sep
Its reassuring to me to know that it all works and i was on the right track. i alot of people thought i was dreamin, and said I was crazy and a dick head. the spatial retemporalizer was added after I sold it so can't help there

Hi, I work for NASA adn we'd be very interested in err meeting with you to discuss the future of this type of machine in the mass market. I promise this won't be a "long shot", it will be a very "up close and peronsa;" err meeting, yes....meeting posted by: vixen79 (165 ) 11:53 am, Fri 30 Sep
Sorry I am only interested in meeting with representatives of CERN or the Warehouse, this device is neither related to aeronautics or space travel.

Hi there. Can you please tell me is this the kind of time machine that is operated by placing between the legs, i am a bit concerned because of what happened to Napoleon and his uncle. there is a parallell here because that one didnt work either... posted by: hello3 (93 ) 12:03 pm, Fri 30 Sep
My original setup was two recliners on either side as long as the dual magnetic swazzi is attached to the membrane any seat will do.

hi What is the time preset come off? On my new sony vcr i have been able to record OK but on my older VCR's I kept stuffing up and i dont want to end up in the wrong century if I use your machine. also does it come with a remote? posted by: davef1 (28 ) 12:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
i suggest you visit DSE and purchase a universal remote which can then be programmed into the difibulator.

is it boring to time travel coz like u already know whats going to happen you probably already know im going to ask you this so nothing would be a suprise and you would get bored so what do u do? posted by: soliduz (54 ) 12:08 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Why dont you win the auction, make the device work, and find out!

[Swoop]

"...dual magnetic swazzi is attached to the membrane.." -I thought you said once the hymen is broken it cant be repaired posted by: ydnam (139 ) 12:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
last time i looked my hyman was not connected to my membrane. However if you are some kind of medical doctor?

me again, i started making one at home. Could you please tell me where the eftpos machine plugs into i stole one from the dairy down the road and i cant see in the picture where it goes, behind that box thing somewhere? Thanks - Lloyd Banks posted by: soliduz (54 ) 12:14 pm, Fri 30 Sep
the eftpos machine (or time defiberator) connects to the main component, by just loosely dangling the wire inside the main component. Its vital it dosnt actually connect to anything. I in no way condone the stealing of Electronic Funds transfer point of sale Machines

I'd be interested in swapping my anti-gravity device for the time travel machine. The A-G machine works but it has the darndest nack and will only ever function whilst hanging up side down. Would this be an amicable trade? posted by: stuffin (46 ) 12:15 pm, Fri 30 Sep
In no way would this be and amicable trade, i dont want your broken junk that only works when its upside down... what do you take me for?

It appears the machine has appended to it an IDE hard drive. I would like to know what size this drive is so I can use it in my computer should I fail to satisfactorily get my Heisenberg compensator to work. The manufacturers of the Starship enterprise were successful with the compensator, but unfortunately I have been unsucessful in aquiring the engineering schematics for their design. Therefore depending on the price, and specifications of the drive, It might be a good buy either way. posted by: geoffr (38 ) 12:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
It has a 6 gig HD for storing time co-ordinates. it is actually way over speced, the starship enterprise only had only a 500MB Hard drive. True... The Hard drive also has some games on so you can play whilst travelling time

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 12:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No I have always had an ongoing issue with time looping. Frankly its a pain in the arse and one of the things i couldnt solve. A deja vue inhibitator is really hard to find.

I hope you get this Auction up over $200, I can see many late nights have gone into the construction. Also I like your curtains, thats all. It seems like answering these questions could become a full time job, Good luck for the weekend mate! posted by: sheepfaced (46 ) 12:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep
YOur telling me i have had no time whatsoever to work on my "Hyper 1200 Raident" prototype for my daughters birthday.

Will this be able to send me back to the fifties so I can set up my mum with my dad and create rock n roll?? posted by: cart25 (77 ) 12:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
wouldnt it be more interesting if you got it on with your mum?

Do you push the red button, or the blue button to make it work.......? posted by: fury4 (18 ) 12:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The start up combination is red, red blue, blue red blue, blue, blue then red. it is important the buttons are oushed in that sequence. No matter what you do never, never push them together at the same time... ever.

Do you like hedgehogs? posted by: melouise (12 ) 12:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
they are alright I guess. i will consider swapping, but how many hedgehogs do you have ?

This is the Time Police!! I hope you all realize that any unauthorzed time travel is illegal and this device has not been sanctioned by the Federation of Time Travel Traffic Control established in 2034. Any users CAN and WILL be prosecuted in accordance to laws past following the REAL discovery of time/space violation. All time travellers and passengers MUST seek proper passport by first travelling forward to 2035, sitting your time travel license, then btaining approval from the FTTTC to trave posted by: thadazbaby (21 ) 12:35 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have an expired time travel license, but as i never got it working have not bothered to renew it. it is up to the winner to atain their own license and also get the machine a WOF.

I had a mate with a time machine. Had loads of trouble with the Johnson Rods and O rings. It kept sending him to Gore in August 1977. Just want to make sure your machine hasn't suffered the same problem. Cheers posted by: rce (0 ) 12:36 pm, Fri 30 Sep
lol you said Johnson... thats rude

I have reviewed the model specs and am beginning to understand the science behind your machine. I am, however, struggling with the 'phone' style mechanism that replaces the more traditional flux capacitor. I understand that in conjunction with a magnetic field and the load, the 'phone' uses the hierarchical structure of the cosmos as a timer! The trilamination of the tiny spheres with selected metals and their subjection to a magnetic field and current (sustained by the load) destabilizes the posted by: james185 (37 ) 12:36 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Sounds like you know what your talking about.. maybe we could hook up some time over a beer? Why is everyone always going on about the flux its so 80's, Time travel is a modern mans game.

Does this machine have a piecost? posted by: rbhg2 (10 ) 12:37 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Everything has a piecost. Everything.......

Dude....where's my CaR? posted by: katturn (133 ) 12:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Dude.. who cares? you parked it, maybe take a snapshot with a mobil phone next time you park it so you can find it again?

Does this machine require a FULL drivers licence or can I get away with a rstricted licence as long as dont travel after 10:30pm at night? posted by: river11 (11 ) 12:57 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I only have my learners.

You mentioned from an earlier question that it would need Uranium 235 for energy source. Would that violate NZ law being Nuclear Free? Being the case this machine is illegal to use in NZ, will Australia allow it so? posted by: arlevien (137 ) 12:58 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Smoke detectors are legal so why should a time machine not be? Maybe you should consult your lawyer if you plan to use a radioactive power source.

[Swoop]

can i have some of that somoke your smoking? posted by: metsc (31 ) 1:00 pm, Fri 30 Sep
See above reply regarding DSE smoke machines..

Would you consider a swap for a Particle Accerated Rail Gun? :) posted by: born_on_xmas (99 ) 1:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What condition is it? How big are these particles?

Hey did you watch Coronation Street last night? Ken Barlow had one of these things! posted by: cookie2005 (11 ) 1:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Isnt he dead yet?

If Allen please advise - same coordinates as previously organised. This is not a joke. posted by: k1500 (28 ) 1:03 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No im not Allen, and this is not a joke.

I like pies posted by: steve98 (72 ) 1:04 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this a qustion or a statement? if its a qustions it depends on whats in em... mince, mince and cheese and also bacon and egg for special occasions.

I have been sent back to warn you!!!!!STOP messing with something that will not be invented for another 10 Fugsmar = in earth time 10,000 years. As a Time Traveller & Diatractnon I must say you are so close to getting it right. What you need to complete this mark 1 A / time transfere machine is Sratzjoingmerk DiFluzzing Crutxnoll with a 100 D boinker & now most IMPORTANT PIECE you you MUST get a . I hope this helps & if it doesn't take three or four twice a day & it will all go posted by: wampro (203 ) 1:13 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have never heard of a Boinker? is this a typo as i know of a 100 D Bionker.

would you swap for 2005 subaru wrx STI version 9, full body kit, sq blowoff valve, front mount intercooler, 19" chromes, pillar gauges, 290kw at the wheels, 11.29sec at meremere, WOF & rego! posted by: metsc (31 ) 1:13 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What colour?

what ever you are taking that made you list this auction..........whre do you get it and can i get some ??????? posted by: lara3 (1777 ) 1:16 pm, Fri 30 Sep
You can get it in the future, bid ont the machine and i will include the co-ordianates to get the "stuff"

can you kick start this machine or is it auto? posted by: metsc (31 ) 1:17 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The start triger is incomplete see above post regarding Remotes... may be an option.

Hey there do you have it in red ur machine is not very friendly to the eyes posted by: toper (44 ) 1:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If you win the bid ill pop in some red spray paint.

Hi there. 2 questions: 1) I bid $29.99 as DSE are selling a mass produced version of this item for only $34.99. Now WHY would I pay you more than $29.99 for what is clearly a HOME-MADE time machine that doesn't even work! I might end up stuck in the 80's!!! And we all know THAT would suck. I've already been stuck there for nearly 10 years of my life, and I don't want to repeat. B) Previous Q about how Eddies in the S.T.C. (space-time continueum)... Has anyone heard how he's getting on? How di posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 1:20 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Dick Smith time machines are crap. The warehouse is also selling them, as is the 2 dollar shop. You get what you pay for. i think of this as more a custom time machine than home made. but hey no ones making you bid.

was the purpose you built this machine to go back and chage the night you caught your wife having anal with your father posted by: metsc (31 ) 1:22 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No, no it wasnt.

Have you seen this boy? http://www.lysator.liu.se/~hakgu/t2pics/john01.gif posted by: sharlenl (234 ) 1:22 pm, Fri 30 Sep
He looks familiar, ithink I saw him in a movie once

A Boinker is an anti gravity device that has not been invented yet I believe a Drunken Scottish sailor finds it when he falls into a pit, just outside Cairo it was left there by a time traveler as a spare just in case he needed it 30.03 north x posted by: wampro (203 ) 1:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
got ya

I have a mate called "Mighty Quinn" who apparently passed on (god rest his soul) 2 years ago from heart failure, I took him to a strip bar and the poor sod passed on. What chances do I have of going back to that particular night so I can put hiw to rest properly as he has been visiting me at night. posted by: caznac (66 ) 1:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
thats how i wanna go..... A heart attack ina strip bar

is there a drinks holder on this? i dont wanna spill coffee on my lap while navigating posted by: lizp79 (298 ) 1:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep
You could probibly place it on the top of the Machine, however it does shake a little when going so no hot drinks.

ooops forgot to complete mission: 31.15 north posted by: wampro (203 ) 1:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Well taht makes a big difference.

have you got a hiblewobby transformer for your super transquadrahedric triangle modifier spec 2.5 quadraped ? and if so ill trade for a space probing monkey. posted by: makka_man (24 ) 1:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I havent got one, but I would seriously love a monkey, especially a space probing one. maybe we can do some sort of a deal ?

Hey there. i love the design but do you have this in pink as the colour shown wouldnt match my hair. posted by: savage01 (223 ) 1:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Maybe you should consider changing the colour of your hair to match that of the time machine?

I have an Anti Gravity machine -> http://imagiware.com/brian/Corrinne/photos/corrinne-swing-1.jpg wanna swap? posted by: arlevien (137 ) 1:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
hmmm nice machine, how does it work. It seems awfully complicated. Who is the midget driving it?

I'm trying to decide between your time machine and a Big Mac. Which do you think is best? posted by: steve98 (72 ) 1:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Id go for the Big mac, unless you have a genuine interest in time travel ?

ZOLTARRRR posted by: unclelisa1 (11 ) 1:38 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Sorry, no bubble-wrap suit is included.

[Swoop]

Does the T/M have any Security measures/systems and what are they posted by: blink182_tkom (71 ) 1:39 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I used to keep it stored in the garage and then lock the garage at night time, when I went away on holiday i would sometimes put a bicycle lock around it for extra security. Unfortunutly my garage or bike lock are not supplied with the device. I hope this answers your question.

tniz i&&& mezzage from t2o future. warning tniz device iz un_ztable. will cnop of topz of tne letter n and may cauze peo .. mpotent I muzt ztop tnis auction immedi&&ly.you nave been warne&& aarrggnnn posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 1:42 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this some kind of hip txt speak?

Hi, thought I'd let all watchers know that I'm auctioning this auction. http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/auction_detail.asp?id=36963423 posted by: thbean (3 ) 1:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Look this is getting ridiculous. How can you auction the auction. i feel compelled to buy my auction back.

Hahahah good laugh.. posted by: gissyb1 (3110 ) 1:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
i prefer MUAHAHAHA

I cant see where the time is displayed on this device ? posted by: bignoselouie (76 ) 1:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What do you think this is? A clock?

Can you give me a rough idea of the size of time sphere? I have a rather large build; I'm afraid my head or feet might stick out, with the inevitable results. Also did you include a spatial compensator? Nothing worse than moving through time only to discover the Earth's elsewhere in orbit. posted by: kenyarb (16 ) 2:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Try sitting when in use, that way height shall not be a problem.

Do the mice know about this thing? Or the dolphins? posted by: garbutt (36 ) 2:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The dolphin is in the know, and I would appreciate it if we could keep the mice out of it for now

If we are ever able to develop a workable theory for time travel, we would open up the ability to create very complicated problems called paradoxes. A paradox is defined as something that contradicts itself. Here are two common examples: Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you could travel back to a time before you were born. The mere fact that you could exist in a time before you were born creates a paradox. If you were born in 1960, how could you exist in 1955? Possibly the most f posted by: marisat (210 ) 2:08 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Could you be more borring?

Do you happen to have a quantity of Uranium 235, which powers the amazing device on hand? My mate Uday was after some as a present for his old man, reckons it will come in handy in powering is anal probing devices. posted by: gwn (275 ) 2:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No it is remarkably hard to source in NZ. Some guy was selling some on trade me the other day, but the bidding got ridiculous

Serious question: does the plantronics headset and adapter work? posted by: criggie (259 ) 2:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
serious answer: I dont know

This will really help with some plans I have. I'll need an accomplice who has some duck tape, jumper leads, earplugs and can speak fluent American. That way we'll be able to get into TVNZ without being noticed and stop whoever it was the thought of "Sing like a Superstar". I also need a Bull Terrier that goes crazy at the sound of Teletubbies, a credit card with the name John Banks on it, and a leather gimp outfit. Last but not least. Does anyone have 7 of 9's address before she got famou posted by: brynn (116 ) 2:17 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Any takers ?

I really see the potential, but am concerned about the hours that may be required to completely finish the project. Also the colour of the start sequence buttons is a problem for me. Instead of "The start up combination is red, red blue, blue red blue, blue, blue then red" is this possible to be green, green gold, gold green gold, gold, gold, then black? My time travel outfit is black, gold and green and the red/blue buttons wouldn't match.... posted by: autumnwinds (1138 ) 2:17 pm, Fri 30 Sep
In the future 90% of all humans are colour blind so colour becomes somewhat irrelevant. Every good time traveller needs a tight fitting lycra jump suit to travel time in style

I don't have an a'nti-gravity' machine, but I do have an 'anti-gravy' machine, it dries up your sunday roast should someone force watery gravy on you, it's really useful, would you swap it for this? posted by: richardrayner (22 ) 2:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
An anti gravy machine i could use. that sounds really really useful.

Bugger. Can you remove that $3000 bid by Time Machine1. I really do want to buy this stuff. I reckon this is art. Also, 7 of 9 is really hot and this is my only chance to meet her. Paul Swain said he had a gimp outfit but I said I didn't want to wear anything used. posted by: brynn (116 ) 2:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If you won the auction you could just go back in time and not bid $3000

Is there any warranty with the time machine? If Yes, then how many years? Can I get refund if it doesn't work? Is it authentic? posted by: fungming (33 ) 2:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I apologise for some of the "idiotic" questions. Yes this is a real auction. No refund if it dosnt work as it is unfinished, i can't crack it. But i am straight up.

will using this device eliminate the need for toiletries, as i can keep returning to my freshly make up applied self, or will i need a 'perpetually-made-up modem' and if so, can this create an unwanted momentary lapse of reason?? i wouldnt want to get caught out posted by: lyssa2 (205 ) 2:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
In a funny paradox, the time machine actually increases the need for toiletries. I dobnt know how or why, but my Mascara useage went up 10 fold once i started on the machine - Weird

Sorry, I had it all wrong from the start, thought it is a stolen modern wire and cable sculpture from Te Papa, would like to bit, does it has amanual. posted by: boer (1425 ) 2:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Wonder if i could display this in Te Papa?

Hi. Are you sure you're not secretly a DSE employee?... or perhaps the Big Cheese, Dick, himself?... and just made this listing up so you could push DSE products? posted by: nzed4 (3 ) 2:34 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Nah straight up, I have been applying on and off for the last two years to get a job at DSE, but apparently I am not qualified enough. Dick is kinda a hero to me, (after Bob Saget) and i do weant to follow in his footsteps, and sell crap electronic gear for crazy prices

Is this the stratiscloric time machine that is capable of sending bald goats to the future posted by: oldbaldgoat (123 ) 2:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
win the auction, get it working, try it. I'm sure it would be able to if you can get the goat to sit still.

Seller Comment: How is everyone finding out about this auction ?? 2:54 pm, Fri 30 Sep

I think that you'll find that a black leather gimp suit is better for time travel because of durability. This is particularly important for withstanding laborious stop-motion sequences of plants growing around your house and sedimentary soil building up around you before you reach the time period with cute dumb blonds walking around in togas. posted by: brynn (116 ) 2:57 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I dont Lycra hel[ps with wind resistance, and makes my butt look smaller

stefan chapman who does the 2 til 7 segment on morefm in wgtn found your auction (or someone showed it to him) and he put the link on his page and told EVERYONE IN WELLINGTON!!! go for it - doc would be proud. posted by: scrappysue (524 ) 2:57 pm, Fri 30 Sep
http://wellington.morefm.co.nz/Default.aspx?tabid=406

It's in the 2034 world encyclopedia as 'world's largest use of time on a Friday afternoon at work' posted by: richardrayner (22 ) 2:59 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have been busy answering all these questions while at work, good way to spend a friday

I was sent the link by a friend and then I mailed it to heaps of other frineds. posted by: brynn (116 ) 2:59 pm, Fri 30 Sep
hope they are serious bidders.

E-mail..... posted by: peanut74 (1 ) 3:00 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Would that be Electronic Mail your talking about?

Further to my previous question...the trilamination of the tiny spheres with selected metals and their subjection to a magnetic field and current (sustained by the load) destabilizes the orderliness of the proton, the heavier atom and the 'tissue' of individual layers of metal. The matter then seeks to re-establish itself in the 'fractal set'. The trilamination inserts a 'curve' where there ought to be none, between the atomic structure and the next higher context of presence which is normally posted by: james185 (37 ) 3:00 pm, Fri 30 Sep
yip

How did I find out about it??? There was an article about it on tomorrows news at 6. Be warned, Paul Holmes intends to interview you soon as well and the Labour party is about to introduce a new time tax based on how long it takes you to travel thru 1 hour. I'm lucky that it will be cheap for me as an an amateur traveller it still takes me 60 minutes and so I only have to pay the base rate plus GST. posted by: golf.geek.nz (47 ) 3:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I don't know why the labour party is so damn anti time travel. I hardly think an interview on prime is going to "promote" the auction - look what it did for paul Holmes career

The answer to your question re: How is everybody finding out about your auction? Has to do with the time looping phenomenom stated earlier, an email was sent approximately 3 hours ago to one person and the time continuum is looping with different forwarded email addresses withthe URL Link to this auction. This was a result of the future purchaser going back in time to 3 hours ago and promoting the auction to make himself famous, what a big head eh? posted by: brettsky1 (72 ) 3:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Strangely enough that makes perfect sense. thanks

[Swoop]

...is normally occupied by living things, beneath the solar niche and within the biospheric niche in a five to eleven dimensional collapsible schema of the universe. My question - why the phone? posted by: james185 (37 ) 3:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
My Answer.. What phone?

can i get some fries with this if i win it? posted by: reyhani (4 ) 3:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If you come and eat them at McDonalds with me.

Do you have a time code booklet also? In particular I can't remember the Novikov Self-Consistency Principle and whether I need to indicate on a time vortex on-ramp. posted by: oscil8 (1 ) 3:03 pm, Fri 30 Sep
the rules of time travel are complicated, but easilly found on the internet

in regards to how people are finding out - More FM posted by: stienie (80 ) 3:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I should probibly stop listening to Sport Radio then?

At the moments its been forwarded around by email...Good marketing... posted by: newscam (23 ) 3:07 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Only if i get a high bid ;)

Hi there, would you be interested in a philosophers stone? I am selling one. Here is the link if you are interested: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Electronics-photography/Other/auction-36966413.htm cheers posted by: mr_biggs (26 ) 3:07 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Bit exspensive isnt it?

Oh my goodness, this is great! I love Timespace Portals. Hey maybe we should have a Timespace party! Im planning to leave with my wife and 7 children to back to when the MoriOries were around. I havnt worked out the time/date but it should be Cool-tastic! Wish me luck fellow geeks! Keep up your TIMEPORTAL/TIMEMACHINE building..! posted by: vin05 (21 ) 3:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
thanks, you have a very healthy attitude toward time travel.

can i sleep with your sister?? posted by: saffa (28 ) 3:17 pm, Fri 30 Sep
umm I would have to check with her, b ut my guess would be no. Still no harm in asking, she is probably gonna want to see some pictures

I think I have identified one of the problems you may be having. The formula you describe earlier does not take into account Boussinesq's theory of triple intergration. Try using dt/dx = (1-v2/c2)/2. By combining this with Einsteins E=mc2, we find that dt/dx = (1-E.v2/m)/2. Research by E. Brown in 1986(Ph.D) gives a close approximation for v in these circumstances to be 88 mph, or 39.11 m/s. An estimate of mass (m) allowing for an adequate quantity of uranium would be 765 kg, so we now have dt/ posted by: phantomchickenz (21 ) 3:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Everyone whos anyone knows that Boussinesqs was a no good drunk with crazy ideas.

Blimey - when I asked my last question at 2.17 there wre approx 17,000 hits - an hour later (now) it's over 22,000!!! Don't you wish your machine was working and you could just travel to when the auction had been completed? posted by: autumnwinds (1138 ) 3:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I am gettin sick of all these questions. i do worry that people are not taking this seriously. i put a lot of heart into that machine, and I dotn just want to sell it to some goof as a novelty

we noticed a sizeable disruption on the 1st of april this year and its taken us this long to locate you and your machine,the damage caused was immense but your efforts unwittingly triggered a bio-shperoid that randomly eradicated one of mankinds next largest threat of extinction,congradulations,but don't attempt again please,there's so much at stake! posted by: moritz (36 ) 3:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
How could this be more damaging than 36 killer dolphins with poison dart guns?

... so we now have dt/dx = (1-2E)/2 = 1/2 - E. It is currently Friday afternoon so energy levels (E) are tending to zero, so lim(E->0) dt/dx = 1/2. It is now simple intergration to get to t = x/2, rearranging to x = 2t. Now, simply decide how far (in seconds) you wish to travel, multiply by two, and enter into the distance field in the 2000 x 2000 travel matrix (which I'm sure you already have). Bob's your uncle, your travelling forward in time. NOTE: Many people have indicated they wish to tra posted by: phantomchickenz (21 ) 3:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Huh ?

... NOTE: Many people have indicated they wish to travel backward in time. A laymans description of why this is impossible is given on www.howstuffworks.com, but basically wormhole theory dictates that your stiff out of luck. Happy travelling! posted by: phantomchickenz (21 ) 3:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yip cause the internet is always right. I have read lots of stuff on the www which simply is not true. Just look up "moon landing". The internet is full of cranks and hoax sites dispelling people on their desire to travel time

Does it come in other colours?. Hoping so as this one will not match my all pink decor! posted by: kidzone (633 ) 3:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No it is an one of prototype. I never got to the mass production stage, basically because i couldnt get this one to work.

Seller Comment:
Seein as how this is getting so much publicity . My mate Andrew is looking for a girl. 19-25 obviously must single, enjoy outdoor activities and have a sense of humour :) Any offers with pictures can be emailed via my other advertisement. 3:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep

l33t hAxX0r$ CrE4t3 u8er- k3wL 5tUff lIkE n34t g4dg3ts!! t3lEphR4gG1nG l4m3rs wit mY m8tes r34lLy k1kK$ A$$!! posted by: arlevien (137 ) 3:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
hey if you win thwe auction i will chuck in a free keyboard. I think something is wrong with yours

I have always wanted a time machine. i have always thought it would be cool to take a coke can back to the Jurrasic period, find a dynosaur and shove it down its throat just to piss off geologists 250million years later - or go give myself a copy of windows xp and a computer to run it on 25 years ago! posted by: mr_fisk_it (49 ) 3:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah, it sounds like a cool idea, and would really confuse the bejusus out the whitecoats. I like it. if you win i will give you a 10 % discount on the winning bid

Hi my name is Gill Bates. I was wanting to go back in time so i can laugh at the people that said i would never steal the one thing that would make me able to pay people to think im cool and said that i would never make it with a black box. Will you take A Quadrillion Tribillion Billion & 2 as a buy now price? I am a serious buyer. posted by: aacountry (45 ) 3:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I question the seriousness of this question. Some people are just taking this as a big freakin joke. if you are serious abou the money, i will take your offer

[Swoop]

I live in Hamilton too. If I want to go back in time I go to Te Awamutu. posted by: buster. (36 ) 3:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
And if you go into the future you go to Auckland ?

Will you trade for my girlfriend?, she does tricks :-) posted by: bungholio (11 ) 3:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Got any pictures, and more to the point what kind of tricks does she do ?

Hey I was wondering if this machine supports dilithium crystal phasers? posted by: chips19 (0 ) 3:33 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I heard those things were being phased out

do you have any pics of your mate andrew? only I have a friend, who knows someone, who is looking for a penpal - does he have a problem with 200kg convicted rapists at all? posted by: loritruck (42 ) 3:35 pm, Fri 30 Sep
its getting a bit off topic, Andrew is abit shy but he is open to anything and not fussy when it comes to his woman.

ill the machine allow me to go back in time into my mother's uterus and change my genetic make up for a better performance? I mean... few inches longer?? posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 3:39 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This is just filth

You are a genius. I want your babies. posted by: sez66 (157 ) 3:41 pm, Fri 30 Sep
that can be arranged im sure.

Does my push up bra count as an anti-gravity machine? posted by: princess223 (184 ) 3:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yes it does, I will definately swap. What size ? What are the physics behind it, how does it work ?

hey to mrshin who said he won the auction and came back in time and told the powerball number. 19 is not a powerball number duh posted by: hippie666 (114 ) 3:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
FYI

labour party? wouldn't be a good idea to get back on time and change Helen Clark's genetic make up to something more friendly?? posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 3:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I dont know i find her strangely atractive in some ways...

Hey - can I be the 41st unanswered question on your auction? Pleeeeease... posted by: jeffreyweir (49 ) 3:54 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Turns out you were the 40th - Ha

Does Chewbacca come with this? I've gotta light saber so I will be safe in any intergalactic battles with my uber jedi skills. Obi Wan Kenobi used to own this machine, I'm sure of it. It's actually R2-D2's cousin, twice removed. posted by: joeskie (62 ) 4:03 pm, Fri 30 Sep
My mate Andre hasa hairy back, and i could probably include a picture if you won, but thats as close as you are gonna get to Chewbacca

What are you wearing? posted by: afr (33 ) 4:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
um I don't feel comfortable answering this type of question.

I'm a newbie to time travel. As I understand it, time is a spiral and space is a curve. If I purchased your time machine, I'm worried I'd just end up going around in circles. Does it include any navigational aids - a time/space map?? posted by: sugarloop (147 ) 4:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
i understand your concern. Time travel can be scary for beginners. Unfortunately you're on your own, with your whack theories about space and time

how many gadgets can be used? is compatible with the model below? http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/auction_detail.asp?id=36973310 posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 4:07 pm, Fri 30 Sep
http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/auction_detail.asp?id=36973310 It clearly states it is compatable with any time machine. I dont know how they can make that guarantee, given the propritary type of interface i was using. Still would be a handy add on to have

When traveling in time, how would you ensure that you keep pace with the world? It is after all making its way through space at a fair lick, spining to boot. Perhaps thats why the extention cord wasn't long enough and maybe one of those cool power cords on a drum that unwinds itself would be the answer, or just traveling in leaps of 365 and a quarter days. posted by: simonphelon (145 ) 4:15 pm, Fri 30 Sep
For any future owner to consider

You may not remember me, but I met you next month and gave you the details to fix the issues you're having with your time machine.. why are you still selling it? posted by: famanoran (10 ) 4:18 pm, Fri 30 Sep
obviously only my future self would know or remember you. or know how to fix the issues. if I dont try to sell It i never meet you ?

Does your time machine cover up any traces of hyper space speed camera's out in space? posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 4:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have searched the www far and wide and ahve found there is NO such thing.

Did you know who killed JFK? posted by: johnji (8 ) 4:32 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yip, do you ?

Did you know who killed JFK? posted by: johnji (8 ) 4:32 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Do you know who asked their question twice ?

[Swoop]

Hi. Would you consider a trade for Sam Mumba? Or would you prefer Mr Pearce instead? Mr Wells thinks either way its a fair trade. posted by: sannz (71 ) 4:34 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have no idea whatsoever waht you are on about, this is a auction for a Time Machine not wife swapping.

Will your machine fix the problem I'm having with my current time machine, where my future self posts questions before my current self is aware I have asked them? posted by: johnji (8 ) 4:37 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No

I recently Purchased the Dolphin that was for sale on trademe and was curious if your Time Travel Machine can transport mammals of this size ? or i can offer you a 50% share in the the following business oportunity: convert the time machine you have for sale into a dolphin canning machine that can send Canned dolphin meat into the future....as i am sure that they will be extinct shortly geniune 50% business offer let me know posted by: importedgear (154 ) 4:37 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The 36 dolphins armed with toxic dart guns are coming for their revenge. I wouldnt go swimming if I were you.

Does it have an inbuilt DeJaVue inhibitor to prevent time from looping. Needing to know desperately. Thanx posted by: boardgamer (30 ) 4:39 pm, Fri 30 Sep
havent I answered this question before ?

Hi, with regards to the time travel.. How much would the depature tax be if I wanted to go back in time and witness the birth of Jesus? With the oil prices going up in the world, prices just seem to rise higher and higher! And as there is no BP, Mobil,Caltex etc in Bethlehem in the year 0000, I take it the depature tax would be too steep to get back to the present?? Cheers The Pope posted by: ajmarsters (53 ) 4:41 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What witht he price of oil if you do win this auction and go back to when Jesus was born id take a very big shovel and a canteen.

This device could be the end of us all. The paradoxes (paradoxi?) that would result from anyone departing their alloted place in space and time could potentially destroy the multiverse itself or at least render it uninhabitable. That said its quite cool and would pull the chicks. posted by: simonphelon (145 ) 4:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yes Paradoxi would be the correct term. as to the rest of your question i have not bothered to read it.

I have a friend who has done a fair bit of time travel recently. He made the mistake of looking up his grandparents and in a freak accident has become his on Grandfather. Any advice on how to fix this? posted by: carrally1 (11 ) 4:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Dont have sexual relations with your parents.

hey does this thing come with an instuction manual? i mean...theres a lot of buttons...and i wouldnt want to screw up...also the last car i got, the instuction manual came in chinese...do you have an instruction manual for my car? posted by: brokenlegg (67 ) 4:44 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Im half way through writing the manual, unfortunetly i have been writing it in chinese so it will be of no help to you.

Does this time machine come with a rather gay mysterious heart that can be used to prop up a weak plot from which there is no possible escape scenario? With Daleks? posted by: simonphelon (145 ) 4:55 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Now your being silly. How can a heart be happy?

Can I use this to go back in time 10 yrs to get my I lost my viginity back? posted by: braveheart (390 ) 4:57 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Please scroll up and read ALL POSTS this has already been covered.

The 36 dolphins have already been captured....in my swimming pool and will be shorlty put up for sale on trademe as i have no space to transport them in the Time travel machine......cat food could be a good option too...i told you the dolphin business is gonna be HUGE...so Final offer of 35% as i have now realised the true business potential..get back ASAP as i have lots of offers posted by: importedgear (154 ) 5:01 pm, Fri 30 Sep
its not the dolphins you have to worry about anymore, the mice are in the loop. I wouldnt go to bed tonight if I were you...

I notice that some others (http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/auction_detail.asp?id=36973310 and http://www.trademe.co.nz/Electronics-photography/Other/auction-36971201.htm) seem to be offering similar or adjunct products. Can you please specify how we can confirm that yours is the genuine article (and one that Gordon Elliott would be happy to say so). Thanks posted by: hamath (20 ) 5:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Two words.... copycat dirtyrat

I've got an old welding helmet, will the built in eye protection help me if I accidentally look into the time/space vortex? Also, I have a thing about rompers... but mine tend to ride up a little when mowing the lawn - any suggestions? posted by: whozyadaddy (19 ) 5:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I have a custom made jock strap taht seems to solve any ride up issues.

hello? just because it's 5pm, you shouldn't stop answering questions! remember that if you're able to time travel with this puppy you could always ask the buyer to bring you back to friday 5pm so you can have the beers after work AS WELL AS keep on giving us the answers so we can decide how much to bid! I have opened my friday beer hoping I can get more info tonight before I start seriously bidding come tuesday. posted by: maria1000 (57 ) 5:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I'm hopeing there are more people like you just hanging around waiting to get down to the real bidding... My Daughters operation is not going to pay for itself.

Beware of morlocks. They are killers. posted by: cart25 (77 ) 5:12 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This is news to nobody.

hi, i'm selling Gary the gay dead gnome on trade me, any chance of free advertising on your sale? you have 30 thousand views so far, not bad, good luck, dave posted by: dcearl (190 ) 5:16 pm, Fri 30 Sep
28000 of those views are my mum. and no free advertising.

Hi, id like to know where you got all those incredible materials..did you dig those ULTRON CRYSTALS up? They are very rare. Would you like to sell them on there own? How many buttons does this mechanism have? One fact, did you know that exact Timemachine was used in the Startrek Badies Ship. It was used for a highvelocity ultro turbo teleportation device. I have noticed that you have added alot of fancy extras to it since the Startrek owners...am i correct? posted by: vin05 (21 ) 5:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Star Trek is for geeks.

If the mice are now in the loop, things have got VERY serious. Personally I think you should try very hard over the weekend to get the thing going and either send all the mice FAR away, or get yourself as far as you can out of their influence. If you stuff up their grand experiment they will not be pleased. posted by: garbutt (36 ) 5:54 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I think its the beady little eyes that freak me out so much... There are also rumours they are the finacial backing behind Winnie Peters election campaign.

Can you transport more than one person at a time, and if not, can the machine be sent back to pick up my partner. Is the time synchronisation accurate, so we "arrive" together, I would hate for one of us to come early. posted by: akataka (37 ) 6:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
There are connections for up to two to travel simutanously, more could be added as there are an extra 3 hard wired electronic nimdo rods on the back. (not in the picture)

Answer this one. If I go back to the time of when it was just Adam and Eve, and kill them both, does that mean this auction or conversation will never take place?? posted by: timid_ (103 ) 6:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This would neither be clever nor smart... i think you just want to see Eve in the nude.

COMMENT: Labour will find a way to tax this :p posted by: todagt (94 ) 6:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah if they dont shut down Trade Me first.

[Swoop]

I know a good tax haven for your cash & it is in the future, send me your booty & I will deposit it when I next time Travel & you can pick it up ten years in the future at 40% percent per annum compound, NICE Eh? posted by: wampro (203 ) 6:16 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What is your bank acount number sounds like just what i need.

what if you wanted to travel to the future but where the time machine in future time is 100's of metres underground? does it have a fribulater equlator so that when u time travel you wont get stuck in any objects? posted by: pandoras-reaper (0 ) 6:16 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yes but its currently untested.

like DOC BROWN did you recieve a `bump on the on the head` to get the inspiration to build this??? posted by: mr_e.nygma (71 ) 6:20 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Whos Doc Brown? does he work at the Waikato Uni?

Just got in touch with Rakon here in Akl which manufactures GPS crystals. They rakon you'll need one of their oscillating gryration GPS crystals to make it work. An alternatiev is to get one of those Navman GPS direction finders. Hope this is useful info to the winner. posted by: nzebiz (166 ) 6:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Im sure the winner will find this very helpful any website?

I am an Expert at Time travel you may know me as lloyd banks the scientist (very well known) im from the TOP SECRET lab of G.U.N.I.T. now im sorry but time traven is a dangerous thing and you dont have a permit, we are going to have to confiscate that illeagal, sorry excuse for a time mechine. posted by: pandoras-reaper (0 ) 6:27 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Arnt you the half arsed organisation that tried to ban the testing done on Fielddays Employees?

I see some people have gone forward in time , copied all my joke questions and posted them as there own before I could ask them. Can you remove questions plagiarised from my future questions. posted by: steverb (450 ) 6:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Sure if you would like to retype all the ones in question that should be removed it should be no problem, i have nothing better to do on a Friday Night.

Would you consider renting it to me for the weekend? If I can get it going I'd like to take it to last year's Melbourne Cup. My girlfriend would like to come too, can it take two people? posted by: savuka (59 ) 6:28 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Your Girlfriend sounds like a real goer, whats her A/S/L

Do you have the flux capacitor to go with this? I can't see it in the photo.. Does this run on mains? What's the reserve? What will postage be to Palmerston North? hey whats happened, people are using time machines to copy my questions posted by: steverb (450 ) 6:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
More to the point why is nobody bidding?

does this model come with a built-in printer? for recording future references for past times? and would i need special ink? posted by: lyssa2 (205 ) 6:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Ink from the future and past is the same as present day ink. Best not to record things from the future people will think your wacky...

I smell sausages..... posted by: chris241 (108 ) 6:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Pork or Beef?

Hi there are no banks in the future how it works is: We give all our sheckles to the Politicians & they in turn spend it on silly projects like seperate Schooling for people in differant universes & we sue them for more than we gave them in the first place 7 usualy win. Oh there are no lawyers either. posted by: wampro (203 ) 6:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No laywers? thats crazy how does anything ever get done?

Hi - just been analysing the picture of your machine before dinner and I am wondering if you should stick with it. Your big problem seems to be that there is little or no Mac componentry involved - making the machine quite unevolved. Word on the street is that Steve Jobs is just adding the finishing touches to what the pundits are calling iTravel... I'd sit on it for another 3 months - try and get some time and a half at work and save some coin. Just a thought - good luck either way. posted by: shardul_nz (57 ) 6:52 pm, Fri 30 Sep
What did you have for dinner?

This auction is illegal and should be taken down like the dolphin auction was - see s.8 Time Act 1974 http://www.legislation.govt.nz/browse_vw.asp?content-set=pal_statutes ..it is an offence for unlicenced persons to sell, trade, give away or otherwise dispose of, or attempt to sell etc any device which will facilitate, or is purported to facilitate travel in time. posted by: angophora (29 ) 7:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah true shame about the dolphins, if there was one race we shouldnt be pissing off its the dolphins and the mice.

So it's true then...$131 is the office pettycash limit for Govt employees with nothing better to do than read TM on Fri afternoons. posted by: steveb5 (133 ) 7:10 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I dont accept eftposs (machine is currently out of order)or petty cash i hope they can do direct debit.

I have an anti-grav machine I would swap, but its missing its discombulator CX-421. Without it, it often works in reverse multiplying gravity by up to 1000X, it has killed a few people. Since the discombulator CX-421 is only built by the Zorax of planet Iconon-9, which as you know was recently destroyed by Rii Clan - they're pretty rare. Also, whats the shipping to Alpha Centauri? posted by: pulse (106 ) 7:11 pm, Fri 30 Sep
$5 shipping same for everywhere. I dont know alot about the CX-421 does it come in blue?

Is the eftpos machine still compatible. my dairies is broken? posted by: courier (42 ) 7:15 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Send it to me maybe i can fix it for them?

[Swoop]

Hi there. In the near future I would like to buy the rights to the questions and answers to this auction to use as the basis for a book. Can you please put the copywrite to all of your answers up for auction? Thanks. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 7:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Do you have any monkeys for trade?

I am the winner of this auction. The machine is indeed faulty and can only go back in time. If you don't refund my money immediately I will be forced to not make my winning bid and therefore not be in need of the refund in the first place. Either way you won't receive bad feedback and you'll still get a healthy price from the next best winning bid. Actually forget about the refund. I'm off to buy a lotto ticket for last week opps... I mean this week. Thanks posted by: motomi (131 ) 7:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
You lost me at "I am the winner"

Hi, Are there Size or Weight Restrictions? posted by: griffin18 (31 ) 7:22 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Please scroll up as height has been discused earlier. 250 Pounds Max weight.

Your a funny Person! posted by: griffin18 (31 ) 7:24 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Isnt that what guys say to ugly girls?

Is this the same time machine as seen on "Dilbert" recently? Link: http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20050919.html posted by: toyokogyo (6 ) 7:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Why would someone name their child dilbert?

One last question, except for the others I haven't asked yet: ONE POINT 21 GIGAWATTS!!! How can we generate that kind of power???? Will I need to harness the power of Rita? posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 7:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Rita is a one hit wonder.

I often have to restart my Millennium Falcon with a hard bash on the bulkhead with my fist - constant modifictions have made for an extremely realcitrant hyperdrive - does the time machine suffer from this, cause I'm a bad arse one armed bandit and can't do 2 things at once... posted by: looped (107 ) 7:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
"bad arse one armed bandit" Sounds like my last girlfriend.

RE: Monkeys. I do have infinite monkeys that have been playing with pencils and typewriters for a while trying to come up with the entire works of "Shake Spear", so I guess I could spare a few of them. These ones don't perform space explorations, however, sorry. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 8:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If they dont perform space explorations im not interested. Do you have any photos?

For safety reasons, could you please advise if you have taken into account daylight saving. I do not want to risk returning at the wrong time and disappear in ever decreasing circles up my own rear end? If not sold, could I please book a return flight with you? posted by: pat.kake (2472 ) 8:15 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I believe i answer this Q: later in the postings.

Would you consider swapping a Mk3 Cortina Aerial for your Time Machine. posted by: yankeekiwi1 (287 ) 8:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Perhaps? I did use to like green cortinas. Does the aerial pick up More FM?

You asked: "Do you have photos?" Yes. Yes I do. The trouble is, the monkeys are currently all on Monkey Island 2. I could take a vote as to which ones are keen to Escape from Monkey Island 2. They might be willing to succumb to your unusual ...requests. But this is all aside from the point, namely, will you auction the rights to the answers to this auction? I would not like to breach copyright. The monkeys don't like that. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 8:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The monkeys don't like to breach copy right. Very ethical monkeys you have. i would be happy to swap the copyrights for a monkey (one of the ethical ones), or if you win the auction the copy right goes with the time machine. Or you could donate some money to a worthy charity (The society for prevention of ethical monkeys) and its yours

Hi My dearest Mike. i have to tell you that you have captured my mind and soul. If only I were a clever woman, I could describe to you my gorgeous Inventor, how you unite in yourself the beauties of phisics .I would tell you that you are the greatest genius of all ages, and I should only be speaking the simple truth. But to put all this into suitable words, my superb one, I should require a voice far more harmonious than that which is bestowed upon my species - for I am the humble owl that posted by: westminsterchch (187 ) 8:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Ahem, just for the record I am single, approximately thirty years of age. In the past (and the future) I have found that physics and romance to not mix, but am always keen.

The 1000th anniversary G-Shock finally phases out world time in favour of time travel. One day you'll look back on this contraption and laugh. You should hire a designer if you want to scale production. posted by: dealn1 (3601 ) 8:23 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah but does that new G-Shock work underwater?

what processer do you use to opperate it? e.g. pentium 3... can it connect up to the net? posted by: pandoras-reaper (0 ) 8:24 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Its a 486 with no modem.

Hi, Out of curiosity how many watchers do you have? Hey great to see something a little different up for auction!! Good luck with your auction!!!! posted by: angeez1 (1812 ) 8:35 pm, Fri 30 Sep
There are 527 watchers, when what I really want is 527 bidders. I dont need luck I need bidders, people just seem to be treating me and my auction as a joke.

Hey dude, this auction is plastered all over the radion station, and more fm are the ones whom want you to get in touch with them for some freebies, there talking about you dude.. remember my user name and let me know what they give you... :-) posted by: redsonja (652 ) 8:40 pm, Fri 30 Sep
More FM better not be using my auction to get themselves free publicity. Despite the allure of freebies my ethics and non commercial stance, mean I cant break radio silence

[Swoop]

I have a copy of the REAL 'hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. (as in the one published on Ursa Minor.) Would you consider swapping the time machine for an entry from the guide (eg, directions to the restaurant at the end of the universe, information on Vogons, etc). posted by: grassyhill (25 ) 8:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Nah i got a copy on DVD.

I noticed you have an Eft-pos facility on this time machine......Does this cater for Daylight Saving?? posted by: mahills (80 ) 8:45 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The Day light saving is always a tricky thing, does the clock go backwards or forwards?

Hi Mike, could you please contact aj at morefm dot co dot nz, he wants to speak to you about the Time machine. Thanks. posted by: smithc (420 ) 8:46 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this some kind of fancy morse code?

Hi there, I think you are HOT!!.... are you married yet?... I'm considering to bid the auction so that I can get to know you better and travelled back the time, the time before I had a sex change operation....... I'm a big fans of you man.... lots of love, Rambo. posted by: dst (113 ) 8:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Im not married my missus dumped me, said I spent to much time in the shed working on the time machine. She will be back though, once she see the serious $$$$ I get for it on trademe.

This may well be the answer to all of my problems.....You see I have a hobby of growing KAURI Trees, which I find rather time consuming! posted by: mahills (80 ) 8:52 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Would you like to trade? Forestry is the way of the future, trust me.

Sorry to harp on and off about this, but due to the gravity of the situation the monkeys would like to know if you would be willing to swap the time machine for an Atari. And a harp. Let me know, and I'll pass your message on. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 8:56 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I already have an Atari ST, that is a state of the art piece of equipment, i would consider swapping for some games like Ikari Warriors and Moonbase... man those games are wick!!

so, does this machine works well with the remote control of http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/auction_detail.asp?id=36973310 posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 8:56 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This has been asked several times please try to keep up... In answer to your Q: Yes most likely.

******************************************* Hey Dude.... Your in the Waikato Time's!!! Wicked huh... I work here and saw your auction... great stuff mate!!! - Gave us all a good laugh here :) ******************************************* posted by: fancytricks (61 ) 8:59 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Saturdays? What page? is there a picture? Are there Monkeys? and more to the point have you bidded yet?

What sort of range would you expect to get out of this thing? There's a place which is not only 'a long time ago' but also 'far far away' that I need to get to. I can pay two thousand now, plus fifteen when I get there. posted by: felyne (102 ) 9:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
You could defnetly travel back to 1976 when Star Wars first opened. SOLD

since this auction is doing so much success... I am single,sexy, smart, 6'1, golden color... and available for tonight... call me... posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 9:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
For all the ladies in the house.

if i was blind what would i dream of?? could i possibly go back in time and change my blindness?? what about if i was down syndromed becoz my mum dropd me on my head could i go bak in change that?? OMG COULD I CHANGE MYSELF COULD I BE OSAMA IN BR A GOOD CATHLIC BOY?? OR BE PARIS HILTON OR THE PRESEDINT? or could i eat a sandwhich go bak 3 minutes b4 and eat it agen? thanks im very interestd in ur contraption posted by: shuntz (110 ) 9:14 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If you were down syndromed i doubt you could get the time machine up and running so the answer would have to be no... unless your some kind of Rain Man?

Hey Dude this looks a lot like the time machine I built back in 1911 about 48 hours ago.Some bugger stole it one night while I was out with Napolian and the boys.How do I know this is infact not my one .Can you Guarantee this is another feeble attempt to copy my invention or it is infact another design all together. posted by: buss (87 ) 9:20 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No Comment. Was Napolian well built or chubby?

hey, i love the phone! its so funky! like totally delish! hey, wat does the phone do in the.. time travelling process or something...? do you think that i could like go back in time before you and buy it? wat do you think? posted by: mochagirl (49 ) 9:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The so called "phone" is used to dial up time, what else would it be used for?

I'll add another $200 to the bidding straight away if you think you can help me install this in my blue police phone box... let me know if you think you can assist. posted by: idj4u (439 ) 9:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Im willing to go into any Blue Box with a stranger for and extra $200.00.

Hey there. Eyes got a PhD in kwontim fizicz and wurkt at a newclear power plarnt n yous tyme travowl orl da tyme n et hazent affekted me et orl despyte wot efurry won sez abowt et damaging yah brayn! posted by: edwam1 (116 ) 9:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This makes no sense at all... any takers? i think hes trying it on with me.

i have a large box of stupid pills would you like these to give to all the unbelievablers lol posted by: mark107 (80 ) 9:39 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this Marc Ellis?

I have one initial question: Is it possible to attach a Reality Distortion Field Generator (RDFG-Unit)to this particular Time Machine? I know it attaches to the RDFG-panel on the TM6000 with 4 X 8mm Hex bolts, but this being a custom built, I wanted to be sure before bidding again... And also, not unlike yourself, I'm a bit shocked by the number of people who don't seem to be taking this auction seriously. Good "luck". posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 9:45 pm, Fri 30 Sep
CHeers for the vote of confidence, unfortunetly it dosnt have an attachment for a Reality Distortion Field Generator but there is nothing stoping you form putting one o if you win the auction. at current price its still a bargin once you factor in the cost of your Reality Distortion Field Generator add on card.

Seller Comment: Ahem, I am off to bed, but rest assured all questions will be answered in due course. Thanks 9:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep

I like you. posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 9:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this Jason Gunn by any chance? If so i like you to ;)

FYI, Paul Henry on Radio Live spent some time discussing you, he reckons you have humour i was tempted to ring him to point out the seriousness of the product. posted by: mikek (199 ) 9:51 pm, Fri 30 Sep
i dont believe you, Paul Henrys got way better things to talk about than me. Plus i dont see any humour in such a serious matter as Time Travel and im sure he wouldnt either.

CAN I GO BACK TO THE FUTURE, THINKING I AM IN THE PAST, WHEN IM REALLY IN THE PRESENT...? CHEERS posted by: holden113 (186 ) 10:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
For startes you would be going forward to the future not back. Time Travel 101.

In it's completed state, would the time machine able to advise the answer to "life the universe and everything" ? posted by: mrshin (363 ) 10:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep

[Swoop]

Ah you must be talking about "The theory of everything". Trying to mathematically combine all the those forces is something that I have decided to leave to the professionals.

Hi there. Please check here: http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/auction_detail.asp?id=37001043 for a picture of me with the monkeys, actually ON Monkey Island. This photo was taken a little while ago, before I escaped. I didn't have a time machine back then. Those were the days. Anyway, If you want to come to some arrangement... posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 10:08 pm, Fri 30 Sep
One of the better pictures of monkeys in action i have seen. Is that legal?

Would you consider trade for Three Magic Beans? posted by: cafish (101 ) 10:11 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Depends... what kind of magic tricks do the beans do?

You spelt interest wrong, you bastard. How do you sleep at night? posted by: pulse (106 ) 10:11 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Not to good actully, theres alot of tossing and turning.

Hey man it works .. You've done it.. I started reading all the above and WHAM, Im now 1 hour in the future and cant remember the time in between. Im gonna read it all backwards now and get back to when my coffee was hot. BTW If its an anti gravity machine ya want then sit in the back of a boyracers car, this would also double as a time machine if done in the presence of the law. posted by: smc (913 ) 10:14 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Very clever start but you lost me mid way.

I must tell you that your work is much admired in the future but you must take great care to ensure that the mice do not discredit you as they did before. Remember the question? posted by: mgkmonty (7 ) 10:22 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This makes answering all these Q: all the more worthwhile. Keep up the good work and say hi to your Grandmother from me.

Hi this is John again. I managed to sort out my kerr issues but I was wondering if you had any masking tape or liquid nitrogen laying about? posted by: hexapod (12 ) 10:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I got a bit of masking tape laying around somewhere i could probibly put it in with the Time machine if it gets high enough?

I have the same panasonic phone used in the time machine. Is there going to be interference and if so will I get phone calls from the past and future on my normal phone? This thing will pay for itself then... posted by: nzrawr (17 ) 10:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
As long as its not Nokia you should be fine.

did you know the whare house has one of these for just $39.95,? .....or was that last week....perhapes it was a special (if only I had a time machine) guess my timing is out.... posted by: smokinguns (818 ) 10:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep
As stated earlier the Wharehouse ones are made from cheap rubbish Japanese parts, all parts on mine are Korean made.

Are you not worried about the CIA catching wind of this? 'coz shit if they found out theyd have you assinated for sure. posted by: defdude (187 ) 10:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The CIA already have a file on me stamped IDIOT.

My older brother says that them your “closed timelike curve” may be able to overcome the chronology protection conjecture but the question still remains as to whether it utilises perturbation or rather, does it restrict an objects relativistic mass in order to enable an object to travel near the speed of light and thus travel forward in time? I think he's just being a smart pr1ck - shall I punch him for you? posted by: katekelly (25 ) 10:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah, give him a punch ! Is he hot ?

What will you do wth your time when the auction finishes and you dont have to answer all these questions - will you create another machine? posted by: paynepirates (57 ) 11:09 pm, Fri 30 Sep
.

mickd..I see you're not from the future, because you are using current hardware. Alas... posted by: cyberray (17 ) 11:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Of course im not from the future, My machine is incomplete not broken.

I would be dissapointed if I could not text message from my time travel device...is it Telecom or Vodaphone compatible? posted by: ztulk (150 ) 11:38 pm, Fri 30 Sep
.

Does it Bake Pies? posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 11:55 pm, Fri 30 Sep
if I could make a pie maker, I would be set. See previous question regarding the pie cost of this machine

Does it Bake cake? posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 11:55 pm, Fri 30 Sep
See above

Does it microwave food? posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 11:55 pm, Fri 30 Sep
See above the above one.

Does it come with russian mail order bride? posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 11:56 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Do you see a Russian mail order bride in the picture?

Sorry to tell you, your polaron capacitor is oviously destabilising the phlogiston matrix of the translucidated fnark-inhalor, making all left quarks spin right and tachyons behave like leptons. This will cause trouble in your calpirinated zetasiser Nano, which renders the time machine useless. In short, it looks like a dud. posted by: aoc7 (384 ) 11:58 pm, Fri 30 Sep
.

Can I turn back the clock and cyber with you, with this device, in a deep and meaningful way? posted by: madmumzy (175 ) 11:59 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Sure you can sweetie, just place a nice big bid ;)

Mmmmm! me thinks with all the TIME you have spent answering these questions you could have finished 2 of these units, Cheers posted by: zen40 (156 ) 12:20 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

Are you just a bit looney or completly f***ing nuts? posted by: camjam002 (3 ) 12:20 am, Sat 1 Oct
Scroll up this has been answered several times. PEOPLE PLEASE READ ALL Q: BEFORE POSTING.

By the look of the picture I think its wired it up wrong. Everyone knows that the hard drive to give a physically possible lorentz factor has to be wired in *parallel* to the EFTPOS machine, not in series. How else is the quantum temporal tunnelling perturber going to collapse into an eigenstate of the Hamiltonian spanning the local spatual Hilbert Space??? posted by: jamez_bull (188 ) 12:21 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

Hi, since we already know who won the auction, is there any point in bidding now? posted by: russki_nz (17 ) 12:22 am, Sat 1 Oct
Yes bids must continue as if you did not know who was going to win, taht way it will still make its final bid amount. Otherwise im stuck with the peice of junk.

Whats the msx. ammount of years this version of the time machine can travel back? And also, im looking for a star trek original ear piece worn by spock. posted by: camjam002 (3 ) 12:24 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

Ah, I have just come up with an emergency fix for your polaron capacitor and send it back to you, I can see you incorporated it last week, so you are nearly in working condition. Pity you will have given up and sold it. Then again, you have not sorted out the problem of the variable speed of light yet, which we will have been discussing yesterday evening or was that the day before tomorrow after it will have been too late because you sold your time machine? Time travel is sooooo confusing some posted by: aoc7 (384 ) 12:27 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

I've made a mew fuckups during my life, and how many trips aprox, can this machine do? More than 1000 trips?My mates older version, back in the 1980's (i think it was an old V100 upgrade delusional machine) and he seemed to get around, back 'nd fourth quite easily. So yeh, does it come with the latest users manual, personally i havn't yet gone in one, but i have heard great things. Do you recommend me selling my old 90's version the V1250, WITH AN EXTRA MOISTURE EXPOSURE PAD, FOR THOSE WET TIME posted by: camjam002 (3 ) 12:33 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

I have an anti gravity machine but i am up in the air about swapping it. will put you on my watch list!! posted by: usualsuspect (159 ) 12:44 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

!!!tsaf ,em eucser dna enihcam emit eht yub enoemos ,pool emit sdrawkcab a ni ma I ,pleH posted by: aoc7 (384 ) 12:59 am, Sat 1 Oct
!dnuora draobyek ruoy gninrut yrT

[Swoop]

1:We are keeping you busy arent me. 2: Is it possible to go back into time and find out who killed JFK? 3: With timemachines how do you know WHERE you will be when you go back/foward - will you be in the same spot the machine was when you turned it on - eg in your bathroom, so in 100yrs time if your bathroom is now a road you'll be on the road? posted by: kiweaze (551 ) 1:39 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

Can I come and view ths in Hamilton some time? Maybe trial it? posted by: kiweaze (551 ) 1:39 am, Sat 1 Oct
A/S/L

initialy i found it funny but after reading ur replies to all da question i am forced to say u got some talent and i wudn't be surprised if u actualy have got this goin.......:) all da best sellin it mate. hope ppl go easy on da questions :) posted by: flyen (201 ) 2:03 am, Sat 1 Oct
Your a nice fella, have a free bid on me.

im a litte bit peeved, my bid for 50 million dollars was genuine and you removed my bid.Im sure there is someone else who can make this product cheaper, you have lost a customer.... anyway. God speed. posted by: frank_db (66 ) 4:10 am, Sat 1 Oct
50,000,000 is in no way a serious bid, for this very serious auction

So if I win this auction, does this mean I can finally Figure out the meaning of the TV show L.O.S.T and therefore become a GOD to its followers. posted by: destroyednz (80 ) 4:47 am, Sat 1 Oct
SPOILERS ... Its a monkey in a ballerina suit down the hatch. And Walt is Jacks lost son.

Also is this Remote control http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/auction_detail.asp?id=36973310 compatible with your Fantastic Machine, as I have been burnt by this type of machine and if this will really work without being reprogrammed I would be very interested, also if there is a power failure during Travel will the Time clock flash 12:00 to inform me of this, also why did you decided not to use a Flux capacitor. posted by: destroyednz (80 ) 4:54 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

Isnt it sad that all these losers that have no intention in paying create new usernames such as 'nasa' and 'kgb'. If I knew their true identities (and id I win the machine) I will go back and prevent their births. They don't deserve to exist. Cheers! posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 8:41 am, Sat 1 Oct
Thanks for your support , after all this is a serious auction for serious people. I dont want to have to relist this if a fake person wins the bid and answer all these Q: again.

Does it deform you once you have travelled in time? posted by: ttkn (12 ) 8:50 am, Sat 1 Oct
See above Man Breast post.

Hey Mike, We've been monitoring your auction from our mirror site TradeMe.Mars, and we feel obliged to tell you that those beta version hyper-dimensional resonators can become a little unstable if you set the travel destination beyond about 50 years. You could end up + or - a few hours from where you intended, and if the earth, as you call it, has moved as per normal you could end up a few kilometers under the crust, or else very high up in the atmosphere. Could this be a problem for your purc posted by: geophilus (214 ) 8:53 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

Have you solved sub-atomic orbital warp? My Searle -effect based Acme Time 401 went missing along wityh my girlfriend Sam but I glimpsed a snatch of her in "Blow-Up" (1966) The time machine keeps going past in the background disgised as a floral Mini-Moke. Can you help retrieve either or both? posted by: autumn13 (61 ) 9:19 am, Sat 1 Oct
You saw her what in "Blow up". This is a family auction

Further to the above - if I go back to 1966 to fetch the fetching Sam, she will be 20 and I will be 60 plus the time I age while travelling so how much money will I need to address the imbalance? posted by: autumn13 (61 ) 9:23 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

hello i to am from the waikato region and i have an anti gravity machine and i am willing to swap for your time machine. PLease reply evevn if you are not interested... posted by: raptormc (4 ) 9:39 am, Sat 1 Oct
I have already offered to swap for a A-G machine that is patented as a pushup Bra. I dont know how it looks but am very interested in this sort of thing.

How much does one of these babies cost in the future? I don't know whether to hold out till the prices come down or not? Cheers. posted by: croftfamily (89 ) 9:49 am, Sat 1 Oct
Well, I think given the publicity of my therom you should see similar machines in the not to distant future at the Warehouse for $9.99.

Hi. I have a large family. Does it come with a coupling to tow a trailer and is it easy to steer when going back? posted by: mahlea (19 ) 9:55 am, Sat 1 Oct
It would probibly fit on Grandmas lap int he back seat no need for a trailer.

I am Jason Gunn! The reason I want the time machine is so I can go back in time and try to change myself and my behaviour so that I can be an "A" list celebrity rather than a "D". I hope I win! posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 10:01 am, Sat 1 Oct
You will always be A list in my eyes Jase :) dont let the haters put you down.

Im a nice guy. I have encouraged a bidding frenzy. JASON GUNN IS BACK IN DAH HOUSE!!!! Look out McDonalds Young Entertainer!!!!!!!!!! IMMMMMMMMMM BACKKKKKKKK posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 10:04 am, Sat 1 Oct
Tell me, whatever happened to that scary midget chick?

have the Exclusive Brethren financed this project dispite not believing in time travel? posted by: acethecat (11 ) 10:09 am, Sat 1 Oct
No those guys freak me out... Dont they have like 4 wifes each or is that the mormons?

If the exclusive brethrin funded this it would be green and have a punga log on it :D and they dont have 4 wives posted by: macka13 (12 ) 10:44 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

Congratulations on inspiring so many potential time travellers. My own version containing similar componentry proved too costly to run as energy was derived from continuously passing a credit card through the slot of the eftpos-type charging converter. Although able to travel forward in time I found myself financially going backwards and regretfully abandoned the project. Have you overcome this problem? posted by: mikem22 (79 ) 10:56 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

[Swoop]

Seller Comment: Ok checked the Saturday Waikato Times, i am indeed in it, shame its not the cover though. 10:56 am, Sat 1 Oct

Why are you after an anti-gravity machine? Do you really consider yourself too down to earth or is it for your partner's use so they can join you in the stratisphere? posted by: ziggyboy (28 ) 11:04 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

hi is this a zone one or zone 3 or other?????? I`ve tryed travel with a zone one ,but burnt all the fur off my english sheepdog using him as a test pilot posted by: lancalot61 (118 ) 11:07 am, Sat 1 Oct
The Zone counter was Soldered and chiped for Multi Region travel.

some one put a whole bag of bean bag balls in my car as a joke and when i drove off the balls where flying everywhere, it was quite annoying! oh and does this come with a manual?? posted by: koista (69 ) 11:20 am, Sat 1 Oct
Sounds liek a great trick, The manual is incomplete and in chinese.

You must be happy posted by: rampant1 (64 ) 11:39 am, Sat 1 Oct
Bidding seems to have stalled and im not sure how many of them are serious?

I have an anti-gravity board except the air brakes are broken and it need some more qauntridiam to power it, would you consider a swap? posted by: ayzee33 (97 ) 11:49 am, Sat 1 Oct
No thanks who drives anti-grav boards running on qauntridiam these days? id be embaressed to be seen on it.

I think this joke you have is gone mad, the price now will cost you. If the buyer doesnt pay, you may not get a refund on success fee. And if what you have put is incorrect, your liable posted by: swivel (294 ) 11:53 am, Sat 1 Oct
Please note this is not a JOKE auction and the winning bider is exspected to pay within 5 days of the auctions end.

this is all becomming very stressfull to me .First I get my time machine stolen when im on a boys night out with napolian(fairly Chubby really)Then I see this one up for auction .I ring np my russian mate Gorby to see if he thinks this one could be mine and the bastard starts bidding on it.So I ring another mate of mine old george and bugger me dead Nasa starts bidding aswell.All I can say now is dont sell it to the russians pleeeeease posted by: buss (87 ) 11:59 am, Sat 1 Oct
.

From asecret location in the Buller Gorge I have mined a small amount of Uranium 234, What i need is an uranium enrichment centrifuge, I have contacted the Aotolah but he swears he has none for sale, and Sadams have not come up on trade me yet, If i can locate a UEC then i believe i can solve your power supply problems. posted by: gahedino (39 ) 12:01 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Yes todays paper.. page 1! posted by: fancytricks (61 ) 12:07 pm, Sat 1 Oct
Yeah but the Dolphin guy is in the NZ Herald.

Hey. You are on the cover of the times!!! Front page man!!!!!!!!! posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 12:13 pm, Sat 1 Oct
What can i say... im famous LOVE ME

What about a board powered by hydrocarbonite, im a dealer in anti-gravity boards and i am very interested in buying this time machine so i can go into the future and buy some Playstation 3's and some xbox 360's come to the past and sell them for heaps making megaloads of profit. posted by: ayzee33 (97 ) 12:15 pm, Sat 1 Oct
Forget the Playstation 3's and Xbox 360's think BIG. Go back in time and buy a crap load of brand new still in the package Ataris, they will be worth a heap in 10 years.

Does this theory help you finish your Time Machine ? When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a perpetual motion machine. Adding in the temporal co-efficient o posted by: guym1 (5 ) 12:20 pm, Sat 1 Oct
I based an earlier design on the whole cat hovering thing. Once again i ran into issues with the SPCA - they seem to have some agenda with time travel

At last..Ive been on the hunt for one of these for a while. Can you confirm its able to transport larger objects. How would I squeeze my wifes arse into it. Have tried rowing machines and exercycles with limited success.. posted by: 1455 (47 ) 12:21 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Would you consider swapping time machine for a memory enhancer in good working order? Some manual input needed. Size is A4 but could be downsized or upsized at little expense. Runs off most PCs. Closeup photo of part of it available at http://tinypic.com/e6cbxe.jpg posted by: khaki (10 ) 12:25 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

presumably it comes with technical support, is there any history of alzhiemers in your family, id hate to get to the future, have a problem and find i cant get back posted by: andyxa (52 ) 12:25 pm, Sat 1 Oct
There will be no support provided once sale is final.

Can you tell me if the time machine has a catalytic convertor as the SPCA outlawed those in the mid 23'rd century and I'de hate to get done by a couple of catscan machines waiting behind the superhighway roadsign for some sucker to go warping past with an illegal moggie convertor ! The fine could be more than the price of the time machine. Meow. posted by: ixplorer1 (125 ) 12:27 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Some of the bidding on this auction confuses me. Why would NASA be interested in this auction? This isn't a space craft, it's a friggin Time Machine. I can understand Jason Guns interest with his prediciment (that goes without saying)Some other people just have no idea. Geeks !!! posted by: mrshin (363 ) 12:29 pm, Sat 1 Oct
Exactley ! I think time travel is beyond the comprehension of most, and it shows in some of the questions asked. I was thinking of just donating to Jason Gun, as he obviously needs it more than most

I have mastered the art of jumping down n up rather then jumping up n down, This has defied gravity therefore not actually needing an anti gravity machine, I am willing to teach you this skill personally for the time machine posted by: seasme_street (113 ) 12:47 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

This machine sounds just like I need. Can you guarantee that I will go from 66kg to 56kg by tomorrow night. If so I am willing to outbid everyone. posted by: clair4 (452 ) 12:50 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

1. Does it have similar capabilities to the tardis which features on Doctor Who? 2. What sort of link does it have to the time vortex and is it stable? posted by: martyn_jl (63 ) 12:55 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

I have posted a question on the model after this that you are selling in 2009 on trademe but you are no longer answering questions on your future auctions, can you please answer my questions here? posted by: jake1z2s (1 ) 12:56 pm, Sat 1 Oct
I stop answering Q: in about an hour, as i get a bad case of R.S.I.

Seller Comment:
I would seem i typed an error earlier, we are indeed on the front page of the Waikato Times. Hope this will add to more serious bidders. 1:01 pm, Sat 1 Oct

you are a fruitloop but it seems to be working i am now thinking of tapeing a pile of junk together and calling it a timemachine and geting a heap of money for a pile of shit good thinking batman posted by: chris241 (108 ) 1:08 pm, Sat 1 Oct

I think you are being a little hard on NASA as it is obvious they indeed need the time machine to go back in time to save there space shuttles from a premature ending.After all space shuttles dont grow on trees you know.As for the crew of the space shuttles well they are required back it the good old USA to help clean up from the effects of a the storms they have had.Just between you and me I heard these storms were the results of the Russians testing a new weather machine. posted by: buss (87 ) 1:22 pm, Sat 1 Oct
bloody Ruskies

hi could this unit take me back to 1964 cause i missed a beatles concert in auckland cause i was too young posted by: rob331 (289 ) 1:28 pm, Sat 1 Oct
You didnt miss much. Just a crap load of young beautiful easy woman screaming at the top of their lungs looking for sex with anyone and everyone.

Does it come with wafers ? posted by: mdubdub (24 ) 1:32 pm, Sat 1 Oct
Wafers are available but would be an extra cost. I sthis really relevant.

[Swoop]

I,ve just located 2 of my own surviving time machines. There had been a third larger time machine but it was destroyed in the interests of humanity. I'm cleaning them up and checking for warpage. They seem alright. Will probably offer one of them on trade me soon. posted by: mcaninch (8 ) 1:45 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Îíî ìîãëî îïëàòèòü ñîâåòîâàòü ëþäÿì ÷òî íà÷àò ðåãåíåðàòîð ñóììû ìîæåò èìåòü îòðèöàòåëüíûå âëèÿíèÿ åñëè íåïðàâèëüíî ïîñëå òîãî êàê îí îòêàëèáðèðîâàí ïåðåä ïåðåìåùåíèåì. Îí ñåðüåçíî ïðèâèí÷èâàë ââåðõ ïî ìîåìó àíòèãðàâèòàöèîíí ;îìó àìîðòèçàòîðó è ïîâîðà÷èâàë âñþ âåùü ðóññêèì! Áóäåò èìåþùÿÿñÿ çàïëàòà, îäíàêî, ýòî ìîæíî downloaded ñ ñåòè íî òàêæå âàæíî ÷òî âû îáìàòûâàåòå date back ñïåðâà! posted by: studio1 (394 ) 1:56 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Does it only go back/ forwards intime but your stil in the same spot? or can you make it so you end up in a nother country?? coz anything past 1800's in nz you would get eaten posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 1:58 pm, Sat 1 Oct

I wish I had seen this before.. you may have been interested in my flying carpet.. I recently lost my M.A.L (Mat Aviation License) due to exceeding the weight to mat ratio.. shouldnt have eaten that last yak burger in Tibet. posted by: crashparrot (69 ) 2:16 pm, Sat 1 Oct

You mentioned on a thread on the message board that money raised from this auction will go to a charity. Good on you if you are genuinely donating to a charity, would that be minus the TM fees you will be charged? If this is true, what charity were you looking at? Would you me thinking the SPCA in light of your guinea pig mishaps? posted by: 24mitch24 (839 ) 2:32 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Do you think i could rule the world if i went back to the start of time with an army of robots i just finished working on? i promise i will make you and all your relatives royalty. posted by: suma123 (56 ) 2:37 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Do you think you'll be able to clock the page view counter by the time this auction ends? posted by: squidsquad (12 ) 2:37 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

This looks suspiciously like my time machine that was stolen from its park outside my home in Dunedin next monday. I am contacting Trademe yesterday to warn them that you will be placing an auction for stolen goods. You can expect a visit from the police last Tuesday unless you return the vehicle within the next 3 minutes. You have been warned!! posted by: shane-0 (27 ) 2:53 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you could travel back to a time before you were born. The mere fact that you could exist in a time before you were born creates a paradox. If you were born in 1960, how could you exist in 1955? posted by: djbryant (612 ) 3:08 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Ps - Mikey. It would appear you are a little premature questioning the integrity of the bidders. Please refrain from doing this again, or I may get quite cross. posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 3:28 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Does the bankcard reader except all type of cards? posted by: megadream (35 ) 3:51 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Seller Comment:
Ahem, Due to the recent publicity a proffessor of quantum physics got in touch to have an inspection of both my therom and the machine. He has confirmed that my theory is fatally flawed, and in fact my machine is just a phone attached to an old computer and an eftpos machine. I am incredilly embarrassed and would like to apologise to everyone who took an interest. As such the Auction will be withdrawn today at 6pm. My sincere apoogies to all the genuine time travellers out there. Peace out ! 4:50 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Is this covered under the FAIR TRADING ACT, if it does not work can I return it..... posted by: crested (204 ) 4:51 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Will you marry me? I like your style! Ooops are you male or female as if female we will have to resort to a civil union!oh and don't worry about the one that thinks he is married to me... He will do the lawns and dishes! posted by: bubby1 (627 ) 5:16 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Hey would you trade it for a 1979 TARDIS? Its all up to date in regards to service history and another question is why didnt you switch to plutonium like the DOLORIAN? seems more efficient as Uranium is hard to find at the warehouse-always sold out.give us a buzz about the trade.TARDIS just had a paintjob and upgraded the FLUX CAPACITOR.yours looks pretty mint though....Newer model? posted by: tfl (199 ) 5:20 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Thats pathetic. You have an opinion. And in mine, not a good one. Peace out biatch. I will continue bidding until 6pm to keep me believing in something that was so, so close to being within my grasp. RIP time machine! The Dr "Jason Gunn" ESQ posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 5:24 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Sad to hear you will be withdrawning. Was good while it lasted. posted by: kiweaze (551 ) 5:25 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Man... Why are you pulling it out? Do you have to? Because it's funny shit... if you are getting taken down by the government or some shit tell them to shove it... everybody knows its not a real time machine and if they are not happy with it being false advertising them they can fuck off posted by: steelboy (10 ) 5:28 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Mikey. You with me son? posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 5:48 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Can I get some Noodle Box with that? posted by: flatoutgallop (55 ) 5:59 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

will it liberate the mighty he monkey of death??? free mandela!!!! i am the angel of death......... posted by: vtecboy1 (46 ) 6:06 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

When is it going to be withdrawn? posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 6:13 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

Aha, it seems you have a fever, and the only prescription ...is more cowbell. Thank you. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 6:30 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Will you offer free delivery, now that the reserve has well and truely been met?? posted by: kennyboy1 (172 ) 6:32 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

were any animals harmed in the making of this time machine? posted by: manikazz (212 ) 6:33 pm, Sat 1 Oct
.

does it give cash out? can you afford the success fee on this puppy? posted by: hamish.h (33 ) 6:34 pm, Sat 1 Oct

hey wat happened? Why has this auction becme a joke? i dont kno why people have bidded so much? they are not going to pay and theve just wasted your time! posted by: randompunker (65 ) 6:38 pm, Sat 1 Oct

[quallman1234]

The guy that brought it turned the key on and proceeded to turn it over until the battery was flat and then started push starting it on the road. Coaster rings me while I'm in a wheelchair taxi in ChCh, remembering the bike was in New Plymouth. Was asked how I start the bike up, which I replied turn the fuel tap on and pull the choke out. I was then asked where the fuel tap and choke was. I told them and of course the bike started straight away. I allmost told the buyer (or turkey as I thought) that he was too stupid to own my DRZ400, but wanted the money. Funny in reflection of the sale, appartently the same bike is for sale again. A few of my friends got quite scared on the bike and would not ride it again. I just knew I was destroying alot of rear tyres. Apparently it was because I tending to go around some courners slightly sideways. Dunno, I was just having fun, was told by the rider on the bike behind me on the pie and pint rides...

We have that bike now.
The bloody guy was a complete newbie... He ran the knobblies down to basically nothing in the middle however the sidewall was not worn down, Must of been kinky to corner.
I was talking to him when we bought it and he's using the money to put a deposit for a Gixxer thou!.

The 400 aint slow either!!! :wari:

[sunhuntin]

ok....click the link for my VFR auction below and check it out

1st - the guy asks how much to ship - my attitude is generally "find out for yourself noddy, im not a freight forwarder!" but in this case, since I've already bought my new bike and just want the cash from the VFR, I decided to help him out so I flicked off an email to biketranz.....

2nd - on an auction that is $1700 NO RESERVE, he asks if i'll take $2000 cash....um gee let me think about that....

3rd - then....after me explaining that it's $1700 no reserve so blah blah blah, he puts on a start bid of $1750 !??!?! WTF?!?!??! no complaints from me....

co worker nearly did something similar to that. i found him a soccer shirt, $90 buy now. got him to double check thats what he wanted [printed the page] and he then told me to bid $170! LOL. took ages to explain how it works...

:drool:

[inlinefour]

We have that bike now.
The bloody guy was a complete newbie... He ran the knobblies down to basically nothing in the middle however the sidewall was not worn down, Must of been kinky to corner.
I was talking to him when we bought it and he's using the money to put a deposit for a Gixxer thou!.

The 400 aint slow either!!! :wari:

Well done on scoring the bike, was probably the best single enduro that I ever owned. Guess the bloke that I sold it to does not like courners, which makes me wonder. Why the hell is he buying a gixxer? It might end up having the biggest chicken strips known to be on a sportsbike...:argh:

[HTFU]

I was sellling my Giant Road Bike. In my ad I had frame size medium, top tube length 54cm, seat tube length 50cm, would suit rider 175-180cm tall. This information was included along with the other features of the bike.

First question was what size is the bike. I did not answer this one.
Second question was what size is the bike. I did not answer this one.

Fourth question was my partner is 5'7" tall would this suit her. My answer - Can those people wanting information about the frame size please go to this link - and I included my ads http address.

[*caution*]

anyone remember this auction?

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=51842&highlight=trademe

KBer's insued to give the guy the most ridiculous questions ever, relating to the condition of its flux compacitor, and wether or not someones son could buy one and if he could get more of his other "camp" mates so they could all have a gay old time on them etc.

Some funny responses included:

"Come for a test ride and you can see just how sexy this bike is" or sumthing

Kept me laughing my head off for about 3 days following the questions and answers until trademe stopped all the fun!!:crybaby:

I wonder if it ever became someones first choice tool for going to work? and did the gas economiser turn out to be all it was cracked up?

[marty]

on the $1 reserve F4 1000 Agusta for sale at the moment:



What do you mean that the caveat emptor principle applys. posted by: petera66 (54 ) 7:22 am, Tue 25 Sep
What it means is that it is up to the perspective bidder to ensure they know what they are bidding for, and to satisfy themselves of the item, and while it is up to the seller to not mis-represent the item, they won't be held responsible for any assumptions made. 7:39 am, Tue 25 Sep


don't people know how to use google?

[The Lone Rider]

I seem plagued with people asking me how much I want for XYZ, when the auctions quite clearly show that the start price is the reserve price.

And after asking me how much I want for it (and telling them to bid if they want to get it), they then don't bid.

:brick:

[Maha]

I seem plagued with people asking me how much I want for XYZ, when the auctions quite clearly show that the start price is the reserve price.

And after asking me how much I want for it (and telling them to bid if they want to get it), they then don't bid.

:brick:

I got this question in a recent auction about paint colour...

''What colour cream is it - shade is it a grey cream or a butter cream. is it the shade of rice or ricebubbles''

[The Lone Rider]

I got this question in a recent auction about paint colour...

''What colour cream is it - shade is it a grey cream or a butter cream. is it the shade of rice or ricebubbles''

That's not too bad.

Computer screens tend to not be accurately calibrated and then neither are cameras.

At least they gave some examples of what they mean, rather than just asking you "what color is it"

[The Lone Rider]

More recently got something along the lines of

"Buy now?"

Reply: No there's no buy now as you can see. What are you offering.

Then I got two more before I could reply, one saying "$140" then 2nd saying "Actually if it's not new $100 because they cost $180 new"

Reply: Sounds like you should buy a new one then.




Please.. someone draw up a captain obvious cartoon. :facepalm:

[bogan]

''What colour cream is it - shade is it a grey cream or a butter cream. is it the shade of rice or ricebubbles''

Yeh sorry about that, but I just have to be sure my socks match my y-fronts. Ya know, for when it's business time...

[Maha]

Yeh sorry about that, but I just have to be sure my socks match my y-fronts. Ya know, for when it's business time...

Not such a dumb question in hindsight...once had a customer who wanted the carpet to match her dog!

[The Lone Rider]

Checked account today. For some reason, a buyer has only paid postage (no purchase price) and the postage paid was made in two deposits. :facepalm:

[Maha]

Checked account today. For some reason, a buyer has only paid postage (no purchase price) and the postage paid was made in two deposits. :facepalm:

Sounds like alot of fun come up...:corn:

[avgas]

I was sellling my Giant Road Bike. In my ad I had frame size medium, top tube length 54cm, seat tube length 50cm, would suit rider 175-180cm tall. This information was included along with the other features of the bike.

First question was what size is the bike. I did not answer this one.
Second question was what size is the bike. I did not answer this one.

Fourth question was my partner is 5'7" tall would this suit her. My answer - Can those people wanting information about the frame size please go to this link - and I included my ads http address.
I think your maths is off........and they had a right to ask questions.

54cm = 21" = Large frame.........

[bogan]

Not such a dumb question in hindsight...once had a customer who wanted the carpet to match her dog!

My brother did that, dogs shed a lot, and it'll blend if the carpet is the same color! It's not just so the dog can just stealth camo around and demolish thieves...

[neels]

I think your maths is off........and they had a right to ask questions.

54cm = 21" = Large frame.........
I think that post puts you in the same league as those asking questions. :confused: Read it again. Top tube 54cm, seat tube 50cm, 50cm = 19.5" = medium frame.

Selling bikes is arse, you advertise it as a medium and someone asks if it will fit their pygmy cousin, thats when I resort to http://lmgtfy.com

[The Lone Rider]

Continuing with my above one...

Today I got from the buyer an email that demonstrated they had no idea what they had done.

Had to step by step explain the amount originally quoted for postage was for non-tracking, and what they asked for was tracking which is X. Then I had to further explain that the amount they had paid only was enough for X and they had not paid Y for the actual item.

The reply back was they had paid the additional amount of Z...

Once again being the wrong amount. :facepalm:

[Road kill]

Got one this week.
Buyer asks if I will deliver to local Main freight depo for transit to Whanganui.
Me,,yep no problem.
Next day he asks if I will drop off at Peter Baker trans instead.
Me,,yep no problem.
Next day he asks if I will now drop at TOLL instead.
Me,,, yep no problem,,,but then there's also Bullet,Owens,Redfern,Te Kauwhata trans,and several others in south AK so I hope he makes up his mind some time soon.
After all he's paid for it so I'd like to see him get it before he bad rep's me for late delivery.

[The Lone Rider]

Yeah, you get that. Fucktards who mess around and then complain it's taking too long.



Had a lot of grief this week with buyers being fuckin stupid.

Last night I got an email at 11:33pm asking to pick up an item the very next morning.



This is the same guy who took three days to reply to the first email he was sent, then when I sent him my work schedule he waits 5 days and emails me when most people are in bed (or in my case I had just sat down for dinner).

I replied to this late night email, saying that he had given me to little notice to come the next day and he had the last 5 days to arrange it. I suggested he pick another time as the schedule I had given him was still valid.

The reply back was

"shove it.are u . a hog member.you sound like a akward seller.and looking at the fender you dont know how to roll a guard
.as im a good trader i dnt care what feed back u give me cause ill write how bad trader and how hard you.were to areage pickup.bad trader"


^ Copy & paste


:laugh:

[hayd3n]

having recently purchased a item (17 august 2012 )and paid for shipping i emailed asking when to expect delivery
i recieved

Hi there,
I tracked your item and this is what has come up.
Date Time Service area Description
24 Feb 12 16:10 Auckland Goods picked up

24 Feb 12 17:15 Auckland Departed Auckland for Dunedin

27 Feb 12 06:06 Dunedin Goods with delivery courier

27 Feb 12 08:19 Dunedin Goods delivered to Dwayne

Signed as received in good order and condition


its like they predicted my purchase 6 months ago and changes my name to dwane

lmao

[The Lone Rider]

Did they not give you the tracking number?

I only don't give them the tracking number when they claim they didnt get it, yet when I put in the track it says it was signed for by them!

[hayd3n]

Did they not give you the tracking number?

I only don't give them the tracking number when they claim they didnt get it, yet when I put in the track it says it was signed for by them!

no the original email wanted me to pick up in auckland when i had clearly paid for courier

[The Lone Rider]

no the original email wanted me to pick up in auckland when i had clearly paid for courier

But it was sent to Dwayne in Dunedin... last Feb?


Hey if you're in Dunedin, are you going to the Omaru tat show?

[hayd3n]

But it was sent to Dwayne in Dunedin... last Feb?


Hey if you're in Dunedin, are you going to the Omaru tat show?
yup confused is i
and nope i wont be at the tatt show

[Motorcycle Recovery]

I still have a giggle when I read this one.

(Ad Title: 1991 Harley Davidson Road King US Model)

Q. Is this a ex US Import? Do you have all the documentation? Does it need converting from left to right?
A. Yes, it was imported from the us in '93 all documentation supplied with bike and available on request when viewing bike.

Q.Thanks but does it have the Left hand drive cert or will it need converting before vinning?
A. Seriously?

Q. Course I'm Serious mate, I've been caught out before with US cars? Don't want to pay that much for a bike I can't register!
A. Have you actually owned a bike before?

Q. Mate I've been riding for 22yrs I grew up riding pillion with my dad an got a bike as soon as I could get my licence, I know bikes an I know scammers
when I see them!!!
A. ...!?!

Q. Answer my question please or I will report you to trade me!!
A. *Sigh* It's a Left Hand Drive bike, no it hasn't been converted yet and no I don't have LHD Cert.

Q. That wasn't so hard was it mate, so wil you negotiate on price seeing as how it will need converting?
A. Tell you what if you hit the buy now, I'll have it vinned and registered for the road before you pick it up. AND to show I'm a stand up guy, I'll even throw in a free set of Right Hand Drive Highway Pegs, Extended Rear Brake, Gear Select and Right Hand Controls all at no extra charge.

Q. Cool can you ring me on *********.
A. ...

:facepalm:

[The Lone Rider]

If that above one is real...

You win!


:facepalm:

[SMOKEU]

I don't know how someone can be that stupid. :facepalm:

[pzkpfw]

Trying to sell my old NZ250, I had a guy use the questions to try to tell me it was a two-cylinder bike (and I'd described it incorrectly).

(He was confused by its two exhaust headers; and his mates one apparently had "too much grunt" for a single.)

Sigh.

Told him if he hit "buy now" then proved it had two cylinders, I'd let him have the bike for free.

[The Lone Rider]

Found a chopper on trademe today.

The seller was in USA.

The chopper was in USA.




For $15,000 (starting bid) direct to him, he'd wheel it to a transport place. You additionally had to pay for shipping and insurance.

[The Lone Rider]

New one from tonight

"hi, buy now?"

"No, doesnt appear to be one. Try refreshing your browser. See if there's one then"

[FJRider]

I don't know how someone can be that stupid. :facepalm:

With very little difficulty ... aparently ... <_<

[zique]

I remember a spare parts company selling an ENGINE on trademe and one question was asked by an idiot.

Q-Does this come with a wof and rego?
A-........

Haha bloody idiot!

[The Lone Rider]

Got this one today.

Auction listing is under electric guitars, titled Fender Stratocaster Bridge. Description goes on further to say what it can be used for and what parts are included.


Question asked from someone who had already bid: "What is this off of".

My reply: "Uh.. a Fender Stratocaster"

[Virago]

The awesome thing about this thread is finding out which traders to blacklist... :msn-wink:

[The Lone Rider]

"How much is X Y Z going to cost me plus shipping"

"It will cost you the amount of any of your winning bids, plus A B C for shipping"

[Madness]

:facepalm:

[mossy1200]

:facepalm:

We have a winner.

[White trash]

:facepalm:


We have a winner.

Nope. What we have there is someone who set an autobid that while a lot higher than the other bids, was above of the reserve. TM automatically fires in the autobid at the reserve price.

[Madness]

Nope. What we have there is someone who set an autobid that while a lot higher than the other bids, was above of the reserve. TM automatically fires in the autobid at the reserve price.

Nope. What we have here is a retard.

[Laava]

$10 to a knob of goatshit this sale falls through.

[unstuck]

Nope. What we have here is a retard.

Fuckers been smokin to many saveloys.:weird:

[White trash]

Nope. What we have here is a retard.

Lol. Right you are.

[pzkpfw]

I bet he meant to put in $87.95