Excuses to speed/A reason to speed

[dasser]

A Lower Hutt senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of
the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 100
kph,enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. :yes:
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the Hutt motorway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he
sawa police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. :shit:

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as
he floored it to 120 kph, then 130, then 140 kph. :yes:
Suddenly, he thought,"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" :gob:
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car
to catchup with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's
side of theBMW, looked at his watch and said, :angry: "Sir, my shift ends in
10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If
you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard
before, I'll let you go." :yes:

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years
ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing
her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman :scooter:

[Quartermile]

Oh, Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiper............

[kiwifruit]

heh =)

[Kendog]

Oh, Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiper............

I have been a member here for a little while now and have not seen this joke before, I am glad it was posted.

dasser, that is damn funny, loved it.

[Quartermile]

I have been a member here for a little while now and have not seen this joke before, I am glad it was posted.

dasser, that is damn funny, loved it.
Sorry then:(

last time I said that Sniper was like Grrrrrrr

[Kendog]

Sorry then:(

last time I said that Sniper was like Grrrrrrr

No worries dude.

[Macktheknife]

Actually it is a repost, I know, I posted it!
But it has been a little while so what the hell, and it is a good joke.

[Quartermile]

Actually it is a repost, I know, I posted it!
But it has been a little while so what the hell, and it is a good joke.
Shit i was sarting to panic a bit there,whew thanks mack:D

[Beemer]

Oh Dasser, we know you know some original jokes, so we'll let you off for your minor transgressions! But Sniper is watching...!

[peasea]

Heard the 'pooh' joke?

This guy was gardening, taking some time out with his toddler daughter when she stopped what she was doing and asked; "Daddy, where does pooh come from?"

Taken aback somewhat the guy thinks for a moment and replies "Well, sweetheart, when you eat all your dinner your body takes what it needs to grow then the waste comes out of your bottom as pooh"

The little girl looks at her dad with her face all screwed up.

"Ooh, that's disgusting; so where does Tigger come from?"

[dasser]

I did do a search and didn't see it. I was going to post this ...

I was riding my bike down the motorway, With a twist of my wrist I was doing 120 kph,enjoying the sound of the pipes.
"Amazing!" I thought as I flew down the Hutt motorway, I twisted the wrist even more. Looking in my mirror, I
saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" I thought as
the speedo climbed to 130 kph, then 140, then 150 kph. Suddenly, I
thought,"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So
I pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car
to catchup to me.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to my bike, looked at his watch he said,
"Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

I, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years
ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing
her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman

:scooter:

[Beemer]

Great joke - first time I've seen it.

The Repost Pedants need to lighten up and get a life - we don't all spend all day on here reading everything that's posted.

Most of us don't either - but the time we do spend on here is often spent clicking in and out of threads, only to discover they are repeats of something that was posted often only a week earlier. The search function is surprisingly effective - the only time it fails is when people change parts of a joke or whatever to include local content. If you enter in some of the joke it will invariably come up with threads containing those words.

And we know Dasser can come up with some new jokes, he's done it often! However, this particular joke has been doing the email rounds for about five years...

[RT527]

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 Mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the Highway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, All lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly Nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph.



Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman

[Sniper]

Sir, Im afraid you have http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=992463&highlight=policeman#post992463

[riffer]

Interestingly though Stu - from a couple of posts earlier in the thread you pointed too, which contained the original version of the joke, was this little gem:


Great joke - first time I've seen it.

The Repost Pedants need to lighten up and get a life - we don't all spend all day on here reading everything that's posted.

Seems fitting, doesn't it... :mellow:

[RT527]

Sir, Im afraid you have http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=992463&highlight=policeman#post992463

Yeah well sorry that i dont spend my life on here....hmmm seems that my search didnt show it .....sorry not a geek so prolly didn't search right....any way who cares.

[James Deuce]

OK then lets try a different approach to the "search and ye shall find" one.

If you received the joke from a mate in an email - It's already posted on KB.

If you copied and pasted from another forum - it's already here.

Good rules of thumb those two.

Use the advanced search. You can put a bit of the text from what you're going to post, something obscure, and search the content of the posts.

You don't have to spend your life on here to see hoary old chestnuts like this one ;)

The QRF is supposed to be a bit of a laugh, but people mostly get their knockers/knickers in a twist when a repost is not only spotted, but has multiple confirmed sightings. The confirms are helpful actually. Makes it easier to merge threads and refine a new thread title.

This is a joke zone. Lighten up.

[Angusdog]

A Florida senior citizen rode his brand new M109 out of the Dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, opening the throttle even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He gunned it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.

Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Harley, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

[The Lone Rider]

Except.. aint a m109 a suzuki.. not a harley? :P

[xwhatsit]

Hahah that's good -- I've heard that for all kinds of things, anything from BMWs to Ferraris -- still funny though.

[Angusdog]

Where would we be without cut & paste?

[Sniper]

Except.. aint a m109 a suzuki.. not a harley? :P

Japenese bikes are sold in the US too....


Where would we be without cut & paste?

A better world where we would have big neon "SEARCH" signs.

*This message kindly brought to you by the QRF

[The Lone Rider]

Japenese bikes are sold in the US too....

And congratulations on completely missing the point :niceone:

[Virago]

And congratulations on completely missing the point :niceone:

Well spotted - I missed it too:


A Florida senior citizen rode his brand new M109 out of the Dealership....Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Harley...

[NighthawkNZ]

Yeah well sorry that i dont spend my life

:Pokey: well yah should... :D

Actually neither do I just don't close my browser and being on broad bad... eh :baby:

[Patar]

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the I-75, pushing the pedal to the metal even more.Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly speedster as he floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!", pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man, looking very seriously at the trooper, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir." said the trooper.

Looks like it wasn't new at all

[James Deuce]

Sorry Patar, it's not. It's about the 30th repost of that one.

Combine it with a thread dredge and you've really stepped in a stinky one.

[Deano]

Most of us don't either - but the time we do spend on here is often spent clicking in and out of threads, only to discover they are repeats of something that was posted often only a week earlier. The search function is surprisingly effective - the only time it fails is when people change parts of a joke or whatever to include local content. If you enter in some of the joke it will invariably come up with threads containing those words.

And we know Dasser can come up with some new jokes, he's done it often! However, this particular joke has been doing the email rounds for about five years...

Burn him !!

[1 Free Man]

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 Mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the Highway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, All lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly Nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph.



Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman
REPOST REPOST REPOST !!!!!!!
Oh fuck who gives a shit. :doh:

[one fast tl1ooo]

A friend of mine has just bought himself a brand new Ford falcon. He took off down the road, pushed it up to 150 kph, and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair.

"This is great," he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. Then, he looked in his rear-view mirror, and saw there was a Police Car coming up behind him, blue lights flashing. "I can get away from him in this * no problem" he thought, then floored it some more and flew down the road at over 210kph to escape being stopped.

He then thought, "What the hell am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

The Policeman pulled in behind the falcon and walked up on the driver's side. "Sir, my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding, one that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.

The man looked back at the Policeman and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a Policeman and I thought you were bringing her back."

The Policeman said, "Have a nice day."