What this country needs to progress.

[Mr Merde]

After a heated discussion tonight, on both sides, I have come to the conclusion that what this country needs is an increase in the following professions;


Lawyers
Insurance Brokers
Real Estate Brokers
Polititians
Hair Dressers
Telephone Sanitisers

and Militant Left Wing Extremsists (make a nice living in grants they do)

Feel free to add any other profession I may have missed

[Skyryder]

Militant Unionsts

Atomic Reactor Breeders. (SPCA trained)

Circus Pereformers Both trapeze and bullshit artists.

Necrophylia's

Lightnening Conductors (Only coppers need apply)

More Militant Unionsts

Skyryder

[Mr Merde]

Militant Unionsts

Atomic Reactor Breeders. (SPCA trained)

Circus Pereformers Both trapeze and bullshit artists.

Necrophylia's

Lightnening Conductors (Only coppers need apply)

More Militant Unionsts

Skyryder

In the spirit in which these suggestions were made I duly accept them and shall for henceforth add them to my personal list.

A list that come the "revolution" will be posted to the door of every local and central government office for due consideration.


:shit: in, :shit: out.

[BAD DAD]

What about councelling persons ?

[Madness]

Mormons. You can never have too many Mormons, especially ones named Norman.

[Skyryder]

What about councelling persons ?


I think that they come under the 'politician' (failed) profession however Mr Merde has the last say on this.

Skyryder

[Mr Merde]

What about councelling persons ?

Shall we add them to what shall now be called "The List"

Ohh I like that, lets say it again "The List".

Yes I think we shall.

And into "the List" goes "counelling person"

what a nice feeling.

Uncle Joe would be proud of me.


Merde by name Merde by Nature

[Hitcher]

Telemarketers
Dental hygienists
Aromatherapists

[The Pastor]

we need more guns and beer.


And also more teachers, THINK OF THE CHILDREN

[cowpoos]

brothels.....and big ones......like the...whorehouse...sex-mart...

drive the price of sex down!!!

[The Pastor]

your dirty

[Mr Merde]

brothels.....and big ones......like the...whorehouse...sex-mart...

drive the price of sex down!!!

Especially that of the enthusiastic amateurs.

"The List" grows.

Oh rapture.

We wont nail it to the doors so much as paper the halls with it.

[Mr Merde]

we need more guns and beer.


And also more teachers, THINK OF THE CHILDREN

No, no

Think of "The List"

Something Uncle Joe Steel would be proud of.





Beer and guns are off "The List"

I want professions. You know the really useful ones like
LAWYERS and Polititians


Mr :shit:

[Ixion]

It needs more shit. More shit means more agricultural production. Moreever, we can sell the surplus shit. Look at Nauru. The whole country is shit, and they're all rich as shit.

[Madness]

Pit Bull Terrier Breeders
Cheap Chinese MiniChopper Importers


What this country really needs is a political party led by Philip Taito Field, funded by the Destiny Church. How we got this far without that is beyond me!

[Mr Merde]

It needs more shit. More shit means more agricultural production. Moreever, we can sell the surplus shit. Look at Nauru. The whole country is shit, and they're all rich as shit.

How can they be as rich as me? I'm poor, I work for a living.


Mr :shit:

[Quartermile]

We need more people on bikes, and less in cars:yes:

[cowpoos]

It needs more shit. More shit means more agricultural production. Moreever, we can sell the surplus shit. Look at Nauru. The whole country is shit, and they're all rich as shit.
I got jelly!

[Mr Merde]

Pit Bull Terrier Breeders
Cheap Chinese MiniChopper Importers


What this country really needs is a political party led by Philip Taito Field, funded by the Destiny Church. How we got this far without that is beyond me!

Now this is more like it.

Real positive ideas to add to "The List"

Yes that political party and that church should be part of "The List"

I thank you. "The List" thanks you. You notice how I have started to personify this as an entity now. Soon it will be a living breathing lifeform capable of self sustinance and therefore capable of applying to WINZ and the DPB for social support.

FEED ME.. FEED ME NOW... SEYMORE.

[Mr Merde]

We need more people on bikes, and less in cars:yes:

People in Cars. Oh yes but then who would we have to complain about? Scooter? Tractors?

"The List" grows and with it self awareness.

[The Pastor]

we need more john banks around

[Mr Merde]

we need more john banks around

You're getting the idea.

John Banks type people have joined "The List"

"The List" hungers for more.

[The Pastor]

we defitly need heaps more traffic cops like the ginga on SH16

[Mr Merde]

we defitly need heaps more traffic cops like the ginga on SH16

I have heard of this "ginga".

The "ginga" is in.

[Mr Merde]

Trafic cops in general stay off "The List"

who else is going to keep those scooters and tractors at the correct speed now that car drivers are on "The List"

[Mr Merde]

Here is one that always got me going

Fine Art Students.

4 years of study to paint one picture and grow squirrels under their armpits.

[Toaster]

we need more guns and beer.


And also more teachers, THINK OF THE CHILDREN

Can you be prime minister? But only more teachers if they are hotties....

[Toaster]

Some dude was saying those war memorial vandals needed a good kick in the arse.

I vote for more non-pc down to earth kiwis....

... oh and more arse kicking.

[Mr Merde]

Some dude was saying those war memorial vandals needed a good kick in the arse.

I vote for more non-pc down to earth kiwis....

... oh and more arse kicking.


Try thinking in reverse.

Into "The List" goes the PC Brigade. Oh so generic but oh so satisfying.

J Edgar had "A List"
Uncle Joe had "A List"

We have "The List"

Mr :shit:

[SlashWylde]

NZ is really the 'B' Ark isn't it? We're surrounded by fucking Golgafrinchams, and we elected one to be our leader.

Someone pass the rubber ducky, I feel the need for a nice hot bath.

[Mr Merde]

NZ is really the 'B' Ark isn't it? We're surrounded by fucking Golgafrinchams, and we elected one to be our leader.

Someone pass the rubber ducky, I feel the need for a nice hot bath.

A learned man. A reader of the classics. I salute you, my kindred spirit.

As to the second part of your statement. I dont remember a space on the v oting slip that allowed you to choose the leader. That was done by a group of people who by their very existance have assured themselves a place on

"THE LIST"

see it is growing.

[MisterD]

We definitely need more of those people who make lovely "reality" TV programs for us...and soap opera script writers

[NighthawkNZ]

more bikers :)

[Finn]

More moderators.

[terbang]

brothels.....and big ones......like the...whorehouse...
drive the price of sex down!!!

'Where everyone gets a bargain'

[SARGE]

more Hippies ..

the last ones were delicious

[Squeak the Rat]

We need more people telling us what this country needs

[yod]

We need more people telling us what this country needs

those that cant do, teach.....

[MSTRS]

your dirty

Did you forget to finish your short sentence? Hitcher??!!! You're needed.

[ManDownUnder]

Polliticians
Wannabe Polliticians
Retired Polliticians

This Ark better be pretty damned big.

[Swoop]

Nail "Technicians".

Anyone who does not have the mental capacity to push a trolley around a supermarket without due consideration for others.

Political strategy analysts.

[SARGE]

Telemarketers


we cant breed them fast enough so they have to farm them out to India


at least when i am sitting down to dinner and get that call .. i would like to be able to understand the great offer i am being presented with ...

[SARGE]

oh ... and we need more Taggers and Boi Racers, dairies, non- native English Speakers ...$2 shops where everything is written in Chinese ...


and people who wear black socks and jandals ...

[ManDownUnder]

more Taggers and Boi Racers

Did you say target practice for paintballguns with a real cheap supply of frozen jaffas? Or was that just my twisted imagination runing wild?

[Mr Merde]

We need more people telling us what this country needs


Point taken.

Think of the fun of watching "The List" growing with out dirrection or thought.

Pure anarchy. Oh frabjous joy.


Mr :shit:

[Hitcher]

Public relations practitioners
Wedding planners

[lowededwookie]

After a heated discussion tonight, on both sides, I have come to the conclusion that what this country needs is an increase in the following professions;


Lawyers
Insurance Brokers
Real Estate Brokers
Polititians
Hair Dressers
Telephone Sanitisers

and Militant Left Wing Extremsists (make a nice living in grants they do)

Feel free to add any other profession I may have missedSo you feel there needs to be more people who steal your money, who don't give a toss about you, and want to drive the very vehicles that want to kill you?

I think that for society in general to progress and for technology to increase and progress there needs to be a MASSIVE DECREASE in each of these types of people.

To carry this populace decrease of evil miscreants mentioned above there needs to be an increase in SNIPERS.:2guns: :ar15:

[The Pastor]

need more BA grads.

[SARGE]

Four Wheel Drives

[Mr Merde]

So you feel there needs to be more people who steal your money, who don't give a toss about you, and want to drive the very vehicles that want to kill you?

I think that for society in general to progress and for technology to increase and progress there needs to be a MASSIVE DECREASE in each of these types of people.

To carry this populace decrease of evil miscreants mentioned above there needs to be an increase in SNIPERS.:2guns: :ar15:


Well done, you have attained Nirvana.

[Mr Merde]

Four Wheel Drives


Definitely in "THE LIST"

Keep them comming.

Self perpetuating is our ultimate goal


Mr :shit:

[Mr Merde]

need more BA grads.


Now you have gotten the gist.

Carry on

[Swoop]

Are "immigration consultants" on the list? Or is Phillip Taito Field already banned by the "politicians" category?

[SARGE]

"Biker Down" " Im Leaving" "@#$% Cops" and "#@%&* Mods" threads on KB

[Mr Merde]

Are "immigration consultants" on the list? Or is Phillip Taito Field already banned by the "politicians" category?


As a generic case yes they should be on "The List"

Phillip Taito Field made it on his own performance.

Mr :shit:

[SARGE]

we need more laws and less personal responsibility



the file below is about the US .. but i think it applies to NZ to some degree also

[Big Dave]

More people who consisently grizzle about how f&*#& something is and then do ^&$@^ all about changing it.

[mstriumph]

we need more laws and less personal responsibility

....

whooo -eeeeeeeeehhhh!! Fence the rivers!! Make pedestrians wear crash helmets!!!!


:shutup: sorry :confused: :Offtopic: i strayed

we need more - erm - people who paint double white lines down the middle of roads ?

[SARGE]

More people who consisently grizzle about how f&*#& something is and then do ^&$@^ all about changing it.



oh ... like this ...


PROBLEM : Helen Clarke is F@#$%@ ugly


SOLUTION: (http://www.masks-wigs-and-costumes.com/Masks/images/pig.JPG)

[ManDownUnder]

oh ... like this ...


PROBLEM : Helen Clarke is F@#$%@ ugly


SOLUTION: (http://www.masks-wigs-and-costumes.com/Masks/images/pig.JPG)

Rodney Hide????

[inlinefour]

This thread is the biggest load of bollocks I have read on KBer for A LONG LONG LONG LONG, long long long long, long time. The only thing I do not understand is why I even bothered replying to it. Perhaps its because it offends me in all ways possible. THATS IT, I'm leaving KBer for at least 1 week as I feel violated!!!!! The prick did not even give me a reach around... :angry2: :finger: :kick:

[lowededwookie]

we need more laws and less personal responsibility

the file below is about the US .. but i think it applies to NZ to some degree alsoAre you related to Nodbugger???

Oh wait that's another forum I visit which incidentally uses the same forum module as this site does.

[SARGE]

The prick did not even give me a reach around... :angry2: :finger: :kick:

hell IL4.. your ARMS still work right?.. get your own damn reacharound ..

[inlinefour]

hell IL4.. your ARMS still work right?.. get your own damn reacharound ..

However my penis is below my sensation line on my body, hence I have a major problem following that order Sarge... :crybaby:

[SARGE]

However my penis is below my sensation line on my body, hence I have a major problem following that order Sarge... :crybaby:

so... let me get this straight ...your bunghole dont hurt but you still feel dirty ?


( kidding bro .. big ups for the positive attitude and sense of humor)

[SPman]

Media Consultants!
Body Waxers!
Readers of the classics!

[Big Dave]

Readers of the classics!

I can't get out the August '06 edition any more???

[MisterD]

I'm feeling hungry, so:

Celebrity Chefs
People that say "jus" instead of "gravy"
People that put mixers in Single Malt
People that put pineapple on pizzas
Whoever it was that invented "Extra Cold" Guiness

[Big Dave]

I'm feeling hungry, so:

Celebrity Chefs
People that say "jus" instead of "gravy"
People that put mixers in Single Malt
People that put pineapple on pizzas
Whoever it was that invented "Extra Cold" Guiness

Are your thought process's's's always so divergent?
(I just want to log off before you get horny.)

[Hitcher]

People that put mixers in Single Malt

Death to them I say. Death! Slow, painful, lingering Death!!

[SARGE]

Death to them I say. Death! Slow, painful, lingering Death!!

shouldnt they be drowned in a vat of 'El Toro' Tequila?

[jrandom]

Death to them I say. Death! Slow, painful, lingering Death!!

A week ago, for the first time ever, I got blind, staggering drunk on Laphroaig, courtesy of a leaving present bottle from my previous employer.

It was a sacred experience.

[Hitcher]

shouldnt they be drowned in a vat of 'El Toro' Tequila?

No. A vat of Southern Comfort and coke. Yech!

[Hitcher]

It was a sacred experience.

Next time you're passing, please let me know. I should be able to oblige with a comparable sacrament.

[jrandom]

Next time you're passing, please let me know.

Fellowship among the Enlightened is a thing of beauty. Let it be known that our neurotransmitters are soluble in only the finest C2H6O.

[bane]

Fellowship among the Enlightened is a thing of beauty. Let it be known that our neurotransmitters are soluble in only the finest C2H6O.

...and our optic nerves in the finest CH3OH

[The Pastor]

we need more on the local councillers

[Skyryder]

we need more on the local councillers



Which reminded me.

Blackmailers....................only to post their letters.

Skyryder

[Swoop]

Where would this country be without SPAM emailers!

[inlinefour]

so... let me get this straight ...your bunghole dont hurt but you still feel dirty ?


( kidding bro .. big ups for the positive attitude and sense of humor)

Na I now only have to put my own finger into bughole (teepee for the bunghole, heeee, heee, heeeeee!!!) and no longer have to experience the alternative(s). However the Mrs came down last night and I am pleased to report that after a short peroid of CPR, Willy stood up and made his presence known once again. FARK!!!!! What a good feeling (psychologically speaking as I have nil feedback from Willy) to know that the plumbing is still functioning in that respect. :sunny:

[SARGE]

Na I now only have to put my own finger into bughole (teepee for the bunghole, heeee, heee, heeeeee!!!) and no longer have to experience the alternative(s). However the Mrs came down last night and I am pleased to report that after a short peroid of CPR, Willy stood up and made his presence known once again. FARK!!!!! What a good feeling (psychologically speaking as I have nil feedback from Willy) to know that the plumbing is still functioning in that respect. :sunny:



good boy ..

[Waylander]

we need more laws and less personal responsibility



the file below is about the US .. but i think it applies to NZ to some degree also

From the looks of things mate NZ is already halfway there.

[SARGE]

From the looks of things mate NZ is already halfway there.

English, Maori, Mandarin, Tongan, Indian, Farsi, how many languages does NZ have to have before no one can communicate?

[Virago]

NZ needs more ppl to spk txt.

And punctuate every sentence with lol. Lol.

[SARGE]

NZ needs more ppl to spk txt.

And punctuate every sentence with lol. Lol.

w3rD ... lol

[Skyryder]

NZ needs more ppl to spk txt.

And punctuate every sentence with lol. Lol.

No no Txt spk is out. Dangr spk is in.:Punk:

Skyryder

[Skyryder]

English, Maori, Mandarin, Tongan, Indian, Farsi, how many languages does NZ have to have before no one can communicate?



Babblein' seems to be the language of the youth. No one can understand what they say.

Skyryder

[BAD DAD]

Now about this "LIST". Could it by any chance have room for the word,
" inclusiveness " ?

[The Pastor]

words cannot enter the list.

[NighthawkNZ]

What this country needs is me... Nighthawk for prime minister... oh wait... I don't want NZ I am going for the ultimate overlord of the uniferse... I have a plan. bwhahahaha

[Swoop]

This country has a desperate shortage of "survivor" genre programmes on TV.
Are they on the list yet?

[Mr Merde]

Bugger me, I thought this thread had died a dignified death.

Oh well what goes around comes around.

Even KB is cyclic (pun intended)

[peasea]

After a heated discussion tonight, on both sides, I have come to the conclusion that what this country needs is an increase in the following professions;


Lawyers
Insurance Brokers
Real Estate Brokers
Polititians
Hair Dressers
Telephone Sanitisers

and Militant Left Wing Extremsists (make a nice living in grants they do)

Feel free to add any other profession I may have missed

Wrong.

What we need is a leader.

New Zealand is where I live, I have blood here and I'm determined to stay. I love my country, warts and all. I'm not right, left or middle-wing-reverse-polarity.

I'm a kiwi with 2 teenage daughters ,an awesome missus, several (often mundane) jobs and a desire to be in a space where I can enjoy it all. I'm not greedy and I take offence at your post that might suggest my aspirations might equal that of a 'telephone sanitiser'.

I haven't made it that far yet.
Get off my case, ok?