Most *embarrassing* moment

[90s]

Following the excellent scary thread I thought I would kick this one of with some recent stoopidity of mine. Now we all (OK, many of us mortals) sometimes drop our bikes in the garage or stall when attempting a super-fast gettaway but this thread is for beyond normal idiocy.

A few weeks ago I burn over to St Helliers to collect something from a friend who lives at the top of a steep ROW, with a very cambered car space outside the door. Get over there fine, bit of a struggle to find a suitably flat park, make the pick up, back on the bike.
No ignition, no starter motor, no nothing. Hmmm. Check everything seems OK, look for obvious wires loose (non-idiots are probably already slapping themselves at this point in frustration).
Can't understand why the start motor is not turning over so wonder if its failed (it is nearly 20yrs old after all). Can't see that its connections have come loose. So decide to bump it down the hill. No nothing, but I am now half way down the ROW with no space for cars to come up.
Use friends phone to call the AA. They'll be 1 1/2 hrs, so I decide (not a brainy day) to push the bike back up the hill. At about 250kgs it took thirty mins to scoot it back up in the hot sun. Friend is disgusted by my sweaty appearance, but luckily she takes pity and gives me a drink.
AA guy comes. Checks starter motor connections, start wires, battery, all the things I had tried. "What's wierd is that there is no power going at all" I tell him. He givies up and just as he's about to drive away casually says "do you have a kill switch?" :gob:

Ooops. "The BIG RED button that KILLS all the electrics and explains the wierd behaviour? - erm, yes." :sick:

Luckily he saw the funny side. Now that was embarrassing. Should almost go in the scary thread to think you are thinking OK at times but in fact have gone totally brain dead.

[gijoe1313]

Been there, done that! I was riding down to the Okoroire pub KB meet last year and I got separated from the main group I was riding with. On a side road to no-where, my bike cuts out ... what the? I push it to the side of the road and pop the seat off and start checking out all the connections ... :slap: I shoulda checked the reserve first! I switch it over ... and still nothing! Damn! Start doing diagnostics and can't work it out. Call AA. Rain starts pissing down. Double Damn!

Talk to nice lady on phone and wait for towie (had specified one that could handle bikes!)

I decide to give it the old college try one more time ... and find out that I had left it in gear! :slap: So, combination of no fuel and me leaving it in gear was the reason... newb noobie mistake! :o And of course dismantling half the bike on the side of the road, saying "I'm okay ... don't need any assistance thanks!" to considerate cagers passing by! :o

So, the little ol'Hornet fires right back up and I ring AA to cancel the pickup :o

Fanged down the roads to Cambridge and found the rest of the crew waiting at the BP there! :lol:

Alls well that ends well ... :yes:

It's a humbling experience owning a bike and being a maximus plonkus gittus of an owner for it! :innocent:

[Macktheknife]

Most riders I know have a similar story regarding 'kill switch mind block', just remember not to do it again, thats really embarrassingly dumb. lol.

[kave]

I managed to bump my key into the off position while at the lights, had no idea why the bike wouldnt go. Took a good 5mins to work out what the problem was, felt like a real tard.

[avgas]

I saw someone trying to steal a bike that way. Since then i always hit the kills switch when i am not on the bike.
Moron insurance.

[peasea]

Took shiny bike to prison to see mate. Ended visit, mate was allowed to fence to see bike. I climb on, flick up kick stand and then realized I'd left the padlock in the headstock. Went to put bike back on stand......no stand.

[yod]

....or the one where you pull up on the side of the road, stylishly swing the bike to a nice angle, flip the bars one way or the other (cos it just looks better that way) and then start to get off.....but....

oooops....forgot to put the side stand down, catch bike desperately, cling on for all your worth, bike is at about a 45 degree angle, veins are popping out all over your face which is now redder than a broiled beet with the strain, "I ain't gonna drop it, i aint gonna drop it!"....too heavy I decide, so i put it down as gently as i can, then move around to the rescue position and pick her back up again.....

:doh:

[slinky]

scream down the road, into work driveway alongside cafe with turned heads drinking their coffe, only to come back up the drive and ask one of them for a hand to pick up the bike.....

[unclfkgbully]

Race to pick up bike from shop, 2 new tyres fitted..:Punk:
1st thing, 4get bout the new rubber..:shit:
2nd, wiping the tears from the eyes., full fairing ducati,s don,t look very good sideways through the intersection.:gob:
daza:Punk:

[Blackbird]

Had the Blackbird 2 days and was cruising through town. Saw a mate outside his house and stopped to show him the new acquisition. As I was coming to a stop, my boot caught on something in the road and pulled the leg back. Over I went, but stayed under it to protect the paint and popped a rib in the process. Mate had to lift bike off me and his face was a picture, trying desperately not to laugh. He failed.

[Rhino]

Many years ago I was on the West Coast of the South Island riding a Yamaha TX650 towards Greymouth in showery weather. I had travelled from Christchurch over Arthurs' Pass and was on the road between Kumara Junction and Greymouth.

A short distance from Kumara Junction is a combined road/rail bridge over the Taramakau River (you know what's going to happen.) I rode on to the bridge and was running between the rails until I got to the Northern end. At this point the road angles off to the left. As I hit the rail, the inevitable happened and I found myself sitting on the ground with only my pride damaged.:gob: Two young boys aged about 8-10 were doubled over in fits of laughter as I picked up the trusty tractor and hit the starter button.

I suspect they learned at least three new words in those 30 seconds.:innocent:

[Sanx]

If by embarrassing, you mean stupid ... it was this afternoon.

After Jaison from MotoStyle spent the best part of four hours yesterday arvo fitting an integrated tail-light / indicator unit, removing the stock indicators and fitting a tail tidy (that originally didn't fit), I decided to tidy up the wiring. The tail light came with two ceramic resistors to slow the indicator flasher unit down. No backplate or mounting holes on these things, so the only fixing method are cable ties. And as they get hot, I didn't want to cable tie them to anything plastic - which is all there is under the seat.

So, a quick visit to RS Components and for the grand sum of $2 each I found some resistors with an integrated metal heatsink of the same resistance and current-handling capacity. I has a bracket made up at a small sheet metal place in Onehunga out of angle alloy plate and then mounted the resistors (using cable ties, as I couldn't find anyone with small stainless steel bolts) and re-soldered all the connections.

Plug it all in, turn the ignition on and ... nothing. Tail / brake light works, but no indicators at all. Not even the front pair. Unplug the unit, and still nothing. Unsolder the resistors and test with just the indicators ... nothing again. Bugger. So, looks like I'm gonna have to go hunting for the fuse or flasher unit I've blown; which involves stripping off the fairing as that's where Honda have hidden it.

Note to self: doing electronics at school does not make one a qualified auto electrician. :bye:

[Scamp]

Reading all your posts has been very amusing (not that I'd laugh at a fellow bikers mis-fortune) and educational.

It also made me feel a little better about having to go ask for help the other day when my bike decided it was tired and had a little lie down in the garden. And what was worse was telling Hawkeye the story and all he could say when I said "It could have been worse" was "Yeah, you could have hit the Merc".

Being a newbie I knew this had to happen at some point - at least it's over with now.

[roadracingoldfart]

Typical situation here , go to work in good boots and all the correct gear for a bike ride .
Lunch time comes and i just had to pop out to pay a H/P bill, wearing sneakers i get to the second set of lights and split lanes to the left of all the cars. Stop at red light like a good wee boy and go to put foot down to balance . Shit sneaker lace got caught on the gear lever and foot wont extend so fall over to be lying against gutter with assholes having to do a detour around my head and shoulders to prevent walking on my head. It took me and 2 others good folks a fair effort to lift the bloody bike enough for me to get out from under it and untangle my bloody shoe lace.
But wait it gets worse.
I found very little damage to bike and just a sore shoulder to speak of on the body so i paid the bill at the shop just in the next block and then going back to work found a van doing a zig zag in front of me so i got pissed off and swerved round it to find a big old skip bin parked in the same bit of road i was now committed to .
Yes i woke up looking into the air with a bunch of suit wearing people looking over the top of the skip at me. The bike was pretty fucked and i was in terrible pain as i landed on a pile of broken concrete.
Only upshot was i got a good payout from the wankers that parked the skip where they did and a few days of work from the head injury.
Moral of the story........ Wear the correct gear all the time no matter what , Ohh and dont pay bills if you can help it.
What a day that was.
Cheers Paul.

[howdamnhard]

I had a similiar experience with the kill switch.Had borrowed brother inlaws bike.When leaving inlaws place,waved goodbye and knocked the kill switch without realising it.HMMM bike not go ,maybe me forget turn fuel cock on,no thats not it.Starter cranks but no ignition,plug leads on,battery terminals good.Finally ,ah big red kill switch in kill position,doh.
Then there was the time rock up at party,all the girls checking me out , hop off bike all Mr Cool,get to front gate,me realise forgot to turn bike off,me have to walk back to bike and turn off,doh,not so cool!:dodge:

[scumdog]

I feel I have said this already but:

My most embarrassing moment was when CB almost caught me trying to root her sister on the seat of the iron head sporty... man, THAT was scarey!!

[Lias]

I feel I have said this already but:

My most scarey moment was when CB almost caught me trying to root her sister on the seat of the iron head sporty... man, THAT was scarey!!

You should try rodeo sex. Take her from behind, grab her boobs, then tell her her sister was tighter and try and hold on for 8 seconds :-P

[bimotabob]

Hi

In 94' I brought a RG400 down from Aucks. One day not long after I stopped for gas at the local servo (since closed) and went to kick start it. However
stupid me pulled in the clutch at the same time which disengaged it fully.
My leg swung down fast with no force against me and hit the end stop causing my ankle to sprain quite painfully. I walked a bit straight away but soon was on crutches. Riding the bike following the "incident" was fine - just had to hop around when I got off.
Arthritis will no doubt lay further claim at some stage I'm certain.
Have just got me 1st electric start bike now - yay!!

Regards
BB

[FkNAmerican]

hehe, I remmember what is easily my most "embarrassing" moment on the bike....err....well...more accurately it was off my bike but here goes:

So my sister is married to a Moroccan and every time she conjures up some new recipe she tests it out on me!! Being the complete fucking moron that I am I nearly always oblige as Im nearly always in the mood for food......

So the day after I try out one of her so-called meals Im riding down to the beach to do a little swimming and get a sudden case of the squirts. In a panick I decide to pull over and join the S.Q.W.A.T team in the woods. Now, I'd always assumed that, along the highways, one could just stop anywhere and go off into the woods in an emergency situation such as this....thats what it looked like anyway. Not so!! Turns out there are these nearly invisible wire fences that line Americas highways preventing you from doing just that and they only let you walk in about two feet. Not much cover for a white ass to say the least.

So as Im doing a runner off my bike I flip over this wire fence and basically get told by the fence to fuck off. So as Im squatting there getting honked at by all the passing traffic the police actually stop to see if I need any help. To make matters worse its a female cop and here I am bare arsed as the day I was born with a steaming pile of the remnants of my sisters "Morraccan" dinner underneath me and this hot female cop is calmly asking me if I need any assistance. Seriously, if she had come any closer I could have handed her my license without even shifting my weight.

That was the last time I ever eat anything made by my sister. Found out later she went to this Indian spice shop and bought what must have been a years supply (for an Indian family) of red chili powder and put the entire damn bag in the dish. No wonder my arse exploded.

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the drive going VERY slowly for fear of catching up to all the traffic that passed me while I was showing off to the world.

[90s]

To make matters worse its a female cop and here I am bare arsed as the day I was born with a steaming pile of the remnants of my sisters "Morraccan" dinner underneath me ... No wonder my arse exploded.

And she didn't even charge you for littering the highway verge?
Great story, but I wouldn't ride pillion with you just in case lil' sis has made you a sandwich ...

[FkNAmerican]

No, I think she got enough entertainment for the day just by asking, "Sir, do you need any assistance" as I piled it up underneath me. Jesus, the years have not softened the blow to my ego from that one.............

[Sanx]

<snip>So, a quick visit to RS Components and for the grand sum of $2 each I found some resistors with an integrated metal heatsink of the same resistance and current-handling capacity.</snip>

Second moral of the story: when you buy a 5 ohm resistor, stick a bloody multimeter over it to check it really is 5 ohms, and not a .5 ohm one instead. Wonder why the fuses were blowing...

[Sanx]

Take her from behind, grab her boobs, then tell her her sister was tighter and try and hold on for 8 seconds.

At which point she responds "Maybe she is, but your brother's bigger and lasts longer."

[sp3ed]

Kill switch is OK... I know about the kill switch that's why I checked it!

So we had gone to Taupo to watch some racing with my wife and I on the bike and friends in a car. It was decided to take a quick run into town to get food, so the wife opted to go in the car leaving just me on the bike.

All set to go, key in turn it on, pull in cluthc push starter and nothing. Like I say I know about the kill switch so checked that. No problems there. Everything else looks Ok but no go. Look puzzled at the bike and back up to friends and prod starter some more.

Now it would be all ok if there was something wrong, but I was having mental block, only cleared when wife shouts out of the car window "Is it still in gear"

DOH! and the side stand was down DOH!
If only I had worked that out myself:slap:

[Drum]

Do not combine the following:

A group of sexy teenage girls watching the big tough biker
A u turn
A false neutral.

'nuff said.

[Jantar]

Damn it. I thought I had escaped ever having anything to put in a thread of this nature. But Its finally happened.

I do most of the minor servicing on my bike myself, and only take it to the shop for the servicing required to maintain the warranty, or for major work. However a couple of weeks ago when I took the bike in for a wof, the mechanic was almost on the point of failing it for a worn rear wheel bearing, but when he he went to demonstrate the movement in the rear wheel he was unable to duplicate it, so he gave the bike its wof and suggested I check it regularly.

Yesterday I had the bike in M&V in dunedin for its 24000 km service, and asked the mechanic to check the rear wheel bearing, and if there was any hint of wear then replace it. A couple of hours later when I checked to see how it was going I was informed that there was nothing wrong with the wheel bearing, but that next time I adjust the chain it might be desirable to tighten the rear axle nut when I finish. :doh: