Who is your Kiwi Biker character?

[MotoGirl]

It’s becoming increasingly obvious to me that some KB members hide behind a fictional character when they post on KB. I say “character” because they choose to be a different type of person (e.g. trouble maker, arsehole, serial red repper) when they can hide behind their monitor.

Using a character is a standard tactic with online chats, and we all know it’s just another form of attention seeking. Everyone knows that nice, normal people don’t get noticed. To stand out, you need to grab people’s attention – having a foul attitude and pissing people off achieves this. Some might call these tactics trouble making; others would say it’s ingenious. I’m undecided.

So, going back to my thread title, I don’t have a KB character. What you read here is what you get in real life. I don’t express my opinions because I’m invincible behind a monitor – I express my opinions the same way I’d do it to your face.

[nodrog]

i dont have a character, i'm a cunt in "the real world" too.

[T-Thunder13]

im not hiding either. i just suck

[NighthawkNZ]

im the same on line as I am off line... i big geeky dork that rides a bike :innocent:

[Colapop]

I hide behind being a big guy that hugs people... Help Colapop swallowed me... (there's a skinny person in all of us...)

[Hitcher]

Hi, my name's Hitcher and I'm a grumpy old bugger.

[merv]

I'm me that's why I even use my real name.

Those that have met me probably need to comment coz they are the accurate judge of what they thought is what they found when they met me.

So far only Steam has surprised me by saying he thought I was a teenager until he met me. Do I really sound that young? I don't think so with all my threads commenting on the 70's and posting pics from that era.

[Colapop]

Not that young Merv - that small...

[scumdog]

Me?
What you read is what I am, straight-up.:yes:

BTW I'm not as nice as my KB name.

(also Merv - THAT name ain't a 'young name, sorry!)

[Daffyd]

The '70s? How about the '50s.
My KB name is just a translation of my real name.

[Steam]

Not that young Merv - that small...

Heh, that's a good one, green for that.
I am Steam, I am a buddhist, tree-hugging, barefoot vegetarian green-voter. Heh. That's me in real life too, but I usually wear all black and ride motorcycles, so you can't tell.
Strangely, I am more Me online than in real life. Hmmm... interesting.

[Goblin]

im not hiding either. i just suck
:laugh: So you dont swallow?

[FROSTY]

Comments from certain motorcycle club officials . I yam who I yam --the Frosty on Kb is the same Frosty as i race by and Im known all round the real world as --Nothing hidden

[Mr. Peanut]

I sense a not-so hidden agenda.

[MotoGirl]

i dont have a character, i'm a cunt in "the real world" too.

haha nice. I'm sure you'd make good buddies with some of the pricks around here then :bleh:

[Maha]

i dont have a character, i'm a cunt in "the real world" too.

Yeah i can vouch for that....seen it first hand.....(so to speak)


Im a NEDWN through and through, i brush my tooth twice a day and love my wife and i have 5 digits on each hand not 7...!!

[MotoGirl]

I sense a not-so hidden agenda.

Please, enlighten me... I'm not aware of this so-called "agenda".
BRING IT ON!

[merv]

Me?

(also Merv - THAT name ain't a 'young name, sorry!)

True, that's why I was surprised when he said it at the One Red Dog lunch a few weeks back.

I don't hide my age either on the site coz I reckon I do pretty well for my years of experience.

[cowboyz]

hmmm. I am much nicer online than I am in real life. Most of the time anyway.
Everyone draws a mental picture of the people they are talking to when talking online. I really havent been surprised yet.

[nodrog]

i have 5 digits on each hand not 7...!!

those surgeons can do wonders these days cant they!

[MotoGirl]

hmmm. I am much nicer online than I am in real life. Most of the time anyway.
This is precisely my point. I'm not knocking you for being nice, not at all. I find it intriguing how people change the way they act when they're online.

[Colapop]

You've met me. Do you think I'm different online?

[Maha]

You've met me. Do you think I'm different online?


I know im safer when you are online........:sweatdrop

[Edbear]

Who is your KiwiBiker character?



MMmmm! Young, skinny, handsome, incredibly rich and successful. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! "Honest Ed!", they call me...:third:

[MotoGirl]

MMmmm! Young, skinny, handsome, incredibly rich and successful. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! "Honest Ed!", they call me...:third:

So if that's your character, who's the real Edbear?

[Mr. Peanut]

Please, enlighten me... I'm not aware of this so-called "agenda".
BRING IT ON!

Ok. Your fragile sense of self has somehow been threaten by someone like, Crazy Steve (or some other anti-social)... And you feel the need for peer support.

So you've presented a heavily weighted opinion and God help anyone who disagrees with you.

[nodrog]

You've met me. Do you think I'm different online?

well your definatly fuckin quieter online!

[Mrs Busa Pete]

MMmmm! Young, skinny, handsome, incredibly rich and successful. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! "Honest Ed!", they call me...:third:

:killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme I just pissed myself

[Big Dave]

The man, the legend, the opportunity to talk about one's self in the third person.
Big Dave takes no prisoners.

[avgas]

Unlike on here, I'm always a nice guy offline.
As for the name thing, i love the smell of avgas. That and the fact that i LOVE making the flames. Whether it be exhausts (or lack of), Bonfires (grew up on an orchard - one of my jobs was to start/maintain 40ft bonfires), or even fun with lynx.
However I'm not bullet or car proof, and i don't like heights.

[Colapop]

well your definatly fuckin quieter online!
And you're a damn sight more sexy!!

[doc]

Ok. Your fragile sense of self has somehow been threaten by someone like, Crazy Steve (or some other anti-social)... And you feel the need for peer support.

So you've presented a heavily weighted opinion and God help anyone who disagrees with you.

"CrazySteve" is not threatening in real life.

[RC1]

it just me no special character Rob C i ride a TL, im the same online as off pretty much :shutup:

[Madness]

it just me no special character Rob C i ride a TL, im the same online as off pretty much :shutup:

That's funny, I've always read your username as "rectal" :dodge:

[MotoGirl]

Ok. Your fragile sense of self has somehow been threaten by someone...
No, you are somewhat mistaken there MrPeanut. Those with the "fragile sense of self" are those who need the character. I don't need peer support. I start these threads because I enjoy the stimulating conversation (no pisstake here).


So you've presented a heavily weighted opinion and God help anyone who disagrees with you.
The purpose of this thread is to highlight that people aren't what they seem.

There's nothing wrong with evoking a response from a group of people. Like I said in my first post, I haven't made up my mind whether playing a character is a good or a bad thing. I'm not going to apologise for pointing out that some people act up purely to gain attention.

[Toaster]

KB is a great place to chat to other riders when we can't ride. Yes we laugh, cry and take the piss - some more than others, but on the whole it is a great forum.

Toaster is my real life nickname. It takes a long time to get to know someones character.

[The Stranger]

I'm the same off line, always sitting on my hands.

[MidnightMike]

That's funny, I've always read your username as "rectal" :dodge:


Ah, so im not the only one then, I was sure you read it like DMNTD = demented

Hmm. I dont know if i have a kb character, though i know im more chatty on here than in real life, yeah.

[MotoGirl]

"CrazySteve" is not threatening in real life.

Crazy Steve is not threatening, period.

[Mr. Peanut]

I don't buy it, but free speech and all that :niceone:

[Toaster]

That's funny, I've always read your username as "rectal" :dodge:

You beat me to it..... I though he was trying to tell us all he was an asshole. I was wrong again!

[RC1]

That's funny, I've always read your username as "rectal" :dodge:

yeah your not the first and you wont be the last im sure

[Edbear]

So if that's your character, who's the real Edbear?



Ummm! Ok, middle-aged, (slightly) overweight, bit greying, need specs for reading, couldn't run to save myself...(though I have been known to chase the Missus through the house...she knows not to run too far before I catch her...:innocent: )

[Motu]

We've had this topic before of course....

The guy you meet in person is not much like me online.I'm pretty reserved in person.....I will stand back and watch people talking,very seldom do I join in.But I am thinking as I'm listening.Motu is the quiet guy thinking ''what a fuckwit that prick is''.Motu is my internal converation,he's how I think.....the real me is a shy guy.I see no double standards in this,the very few people who know me well know how I think.

[MotoGirl]

I don't buy it, but free speech and all that :niceone:

Fine with me, I'm not looking for approval :rockon:

[R6_kid]

Hi, Im R6_kid... i talk shit, ride like shit, and generally enjoy pissing people off. Im pretty much the same in real life except my name is Gareth and i find it easier to hit on chicks over the interweb.

[RC1]

You beat me to it..... I though he was trying to tell us all he was an asshole. I was wrong again!

thats what my partner calls me maybe theres something in it?? :shutup:

[Toaster]

Hey R6, can we have a crack at WHY you find it easier to hit on chicks over the net?????

[MidnightMike]

The guy you meet in person is not much like me online.I'm pretty reserved in person.....I will stand back and watch people talking,very seldom do I join in.But I am thinking as I'm listening.Motu is the quiet guy thinking ''what a fuckwit that prick is''.Motu is my internal converation,he's how I think.....the real me is a shy guy.

Man, thats exactly the same as me. :mellow:

[Scorpygirl]

Well I'm the same online as offline.....Shy, very shy!!!!! :innocent: :shutup:

And I know about Colapop's hugs....I have seen the carnage! :shit:

[Toaster]

thats what my partner calls me maybe theres something in it?? :shutup:

Bugger! :gob:

[Quartermile]

I have to agree with this character idea, sort of met Dover at trackdays, must say he looks like what I expected but he was sitting there quitely by himself beside his bike looking like a nice quaint person.

Oh boy am I gonna get my assed kicked for that

[Toaster]

Well I'm the same online as offline.....Shy, very shy!!!!! :innocent: :shutup:

Oh, so that wasn't you dancing half naked on the table at Showgirls then?

[MotoGirl]

Ummm! Ok, middle-aged, (slightly) overweight, bit greying, need specs for reading, couldn't run to save myself...(though I have been known to chase the Missus through the house...she knows not to run too far before I catch her...:innocent: )

So several similarities between the real Edbear and your character then? :shutup:

[Toaster]

I have to agree with this character idea, sort of met Dover at trackdays, must say he looks like what I expected but he was sitting there quitely by himself beside his bike looking like a nice quaint person.

Oh boy am I gonna get my assed kicked for that

I hope you are bending over!! Mind you, he is probably still in the sin bin.

[MidnightMike]

Oh boy am I gonna get my assed kicked for that

Quartermile talks just as much bullshit on here as he does in real life, you just have to have met him a few times.

[Curious_AJ]

Hi I'm AJ... what you see on here is me... and like... me is me online and offline... just ask the people i have met so far! I'm as demented in person as i am here! w00t! go being yourself... and as for expressing oppinions... im apassionate person who says whats on her mind... sometimes i regret it later coz i dont think before i speak sometimes ... but its me!

know me before you judge me... BWAHA! advertising...

[doc]

I have to agree with this character idea, sort of met Dover at trackdays, must say he looks like what I expected but he was sitting there quitely by himself beside his bike looking like a nice quaint person.

Oh boy am I gonna get my assed kicked for that
Be very afraid, he's Foreign you know aye what.

[Maha]

I have to agree with this character idea, sort of met Dover at trackdays, must say he looks like what I expected but he was sitting there quitely by himself beside his bike looking like a nice quaint person.



Shhhhhh you will blow his cover.....then again, he may like that...:yes:

[MotoGirl]

I have to agree with this character idea, sort of met Dover at trackdays, must say he looks like what I expected but he was sitting there quitely by himself beside his bike looking like a nice quaint person.

It is surprising when you meet someone from KB as they're often not what you expect.

I wonder which KB member has been the biggest shock for everyone? In my opinion :dodge: this would be a good indication that that person uses a character.

[MotoGirl]

im a passionate person who says whats on her mind... sometimes i regret it later coz i dont think before i speak sometimes ... but its me!
Ditto! I think our passion is what makes us so opinionated.

[Quartermile]

Quartermile talks just as much bullshit on here as he does in real life, you just have to have met him a few times.
:killingme Hahahahaha yes Mike I'm ther one who talks bullshit here, seen a mirror lately mate, Yes I talk shit as in shit stirring, tis what I do but talking Bullshit don't wana take your medal there matey:killingme

[Edbear]

So several similarities between the real Edbear and your character then? :shutup:



Yup! Jes' ask anyone who's met me! :sunny: (second thoughts...:doh:

[Toaster]

Ditto! I think our passion is what makes us so opinionated.

Passion is a good thing. We would be a sad bunch if noone ever displayed the passion that drives us.

[Goblin]

Hi, Im R6_kid... i talk shit, ride like shit, and generally enjoy pissing people off. Im pretty much the same in real life except my name is Gareth and i find it easier to hit on chicks over the interweb.Yeah well ya pissed me off when I saw ya scored that WR for the day!:angry: Lucky cunt!

[Maha]

Ditto! I think our passion is what makes us so opinionated.

And there it goes.....:thud: :zzzz:

[Curious_AJ]

Ditto! I think our passion is what makes us so opinionated.

I AGREE!! i tend to get REALLY heated in debates and arguments though LOL! ... and if i know you well i may get mean because of the FIRE in my veins!

heh, go oppinionated people... and i cant spell either... oh well...

you go girl.. get some green rep from me, yeeees!

[MotoGirl]

Yeah well ya pissed me off when I saw ya scored that WR for the day!:angry: Lucky cunt!

:yes: So you'll be one lady he finds it harder to hit on over the Internet then!

[Toaster]

I love it when women get all excited.

[MotoGirl]

I love it when women get all excited.

Define "excited".

Thankfully, I haven't had any experiences on KB that have made my blood boil. Sparring with people is fun though :Punk:

[Scorpygirl]

Oh, so that wasn't you dancing half naked on the table at Showgirls then?

Moi....no not that I can remember. Oh I forgot to mention as well as being shy I have amnesia...or is that Old Timers Disease!!! :gob:

[Curious_AJ]

sparring ftw... ^_^

[Toaster]

Define "excited".

Thankfully, I haven't had any experiences on KB that have made my blood boil. Sparring with people is fun though :Punk:

Aha! now that would be telling!

As far as KB goes and 'blood boiling', I try to say things in a way that is (hopefully) amusing, encouraging or informative. I green rep whenever I can. I've found the really negative types are just not worth getting into an argument with...

... It's like trying to convince Baldrick that a turnip is not a good investment.

[Trudes]

My hubby and I are not a pair of old fuddy duddys as a lot of people seem to think (ok, maybe we are fuddy duddys), but we're not as old as people seem to think.

[Curious_AJ]

My hubby and I are not a pair of old fuddy duddys as a lot of people seem to think (ok, maybe we are fuddy duddys), but we're not as old as people seem to think.

fuddy duddys are fun!

YOU'RE IN YOUR PRIME!

[MotoGirl]

My hubby and I are not a pair of old fuddy duddys as a lot of people seem to think (ok, maybe we are fuddy duddys), but we're not as old as people seem to think.

I'm guilty as charged! I assumed "The Kendogs" were middle aged with grown-up kids so I was somewhat surprised when I met Nigel! I think I got this impression because of the immense amount of respect you guys have from other KB members.

[Trudes]

I'm guilty as charged! I assumed "The Kendogs" were middle aged with grown-up kids so I was somewhat surprised when I met Nigel! I think I got this impression because of the immense amount of respect you guys have from other KB members.

OMG, that's very kind! I thought most people just kind of tolerated my bullshit. My dear hubby on the other hand, does actually have half a brain! LOL

[sunhuntin]

im more social here than i am in real life. get me with a bunch of friends, and ill be the silent thing in the corner nursing a drink [if ive got one] when im with the local triumph club, ill hang around them, but essentially be silent. dont join in. prefer to watch and observe.
im terribly anti-social, and have a limited number of real life people i can call friends. thats why i ride alone, prefer my own company, and that of the virago.
i use sunhuntin, because thats what i use all over the net. you type that into google, and youll likely find at least 10 other boards. i also used to answer to it in real life, but crashe has since proved that no longer works.

[MotoGirl]

OMG, that's very kind! I thought most people just kind of tolerated my bullshit. My dear hubby on the other hand, does actually have half a brain! LOL

If you are "bullshit", I'd hate to classify some of KB's more colourful characters :rofl:

[MotoGirl]

im more social here than i am in real life.
I'm purely curious and being nosey :lol: but why do you think you're more sociable online?

[sunhuntin]

I'm purely curious and being nosey :lol: but why do you think you're more sociable online?

cos people in the real world have done nothing but hurt me.
here, i can say and do things without worry of repercussions.
my own company is the safest.

gotta admit, though, the kb members i have met have all been awesome! if i could get everyone here into a big group, itd be wicked!

walking down the street, im looking at faces, seeing whos who and whether i have to worry or not. habit from high school.

[Goblin]

:yes: So you'll be one lady he finds it harder to hit on over the Internet then!:shit: I'm old enough to be the lad's mother for crisake.



I've found the really negative types are just not worth getting into an argument with...

... It's like trying to convince Baldrick that a turnip is not a good investment.:laugh::killingme :clap:

[mstriumph]

.............. I haven't made up my mind whether playing a character is a good or a bad thing. I'm not going to apologise for pointing out that some people act up purely to gain attention.

does it really matter?
the conversation here is fun, the interaction is interesting and the personalities [or personas, if you'd prefer] are diverse enough to be enlivening

----------- 'good' and 'bad' aren't really applicable?


besides which, people aren't usually monodimensional - who gives a damn WHICH facet of themselves they choose to highlight here as long as the party keeps right on rocking? :sunny:

[mstriumph]

Well I'm the same online as offline.....Shy, very shy!!!!! :innocent: :shutup:

yeah - you are 'shy' like i'm 'short' :devil2:

[Curious_AJ]

i agree with you there, its fun to just let things appear as they are, and then when you meet people, have a surprise as to what they really are like... heh

i love meeting kbers personally... havnt had a bad meeting yet!

[Quartermile]

cos people in the real world have done nothing but hurt me.
here, i can say and do things without worry of repercussions.
my own company is the safest.

gotta admit, though, the kb members i have met have all been awesome! if i could get everyone here into a big group, itd be wicked!

walking down the street, im looking at faces, seeing whos who and whether i have to worry or not. habit from high school.
Are you aware of the up coming KB gathering in Turangi

[sunhuntin]

i wasnt, quartermile. right now, my boss hates me, so taking time off is a huge no. is it in the meetings board? will go see when it is. thanks!

[The Pastor]

Im actually a cop.

[u4ea]

stumbled across this site after my bin.decided U4EA is the same as the feeling ya get after a great days ride.got too many good mates to count and am meeting a few coolies in kb...basically I say and do what I want and if ya dont like it..BLOCK ME as I have lots of cool people in my world and dont care for dickheads..

[Laava]

I am a puddle of hot mud

[gijoe1313]

I'm the same online and offline, same in RL! Gung Ho and a bit touched in the head I be! Arrrr!

The scary thing is that people like me can wander freely around society and not be hauled off by men in white coats to a nearby padded van!

And why izzit that the big laddie squad (Big Dog, Colapop, DMNTD, etc.) are all mad dogs running around in the noonday sun?

Must be a berzerkerganger-viking-babarian-horde kinda thing? :eek5:

Ooh, pretty shiny bike bling, my precccioussssss, my preccciouuuuusssss! :drool:

[Hillbilly]

The name? I play bluegrass with my flatmate. He plays the 5-string banjo, I play the Gretsch Rancher. (still haven't quite nailed "Dueling Banjos" yet) The Avavtar is related my my username on other gaming forums and in the gaming organization I founded.

What you read here is the real me. No "characters". I can't be bothered spending all this time having people think I'm "But what's he like in real life"?

[hurricane_r]

im the dumbass who always says stuff i regret and make a fool of myself temporarly then somehow redeem myself ...

other than that noone

[skidMark]

hi um my names mark and i'm i'm i'm, a right smartarse on here

when in reality i'm a 6 foot tall, 19 year old scrawny white boy with acne, weighing in at a whopping 62kg's, with skin so pasty if i took my shirt off you could tan from me.

but i'm um big tough n scary...rarrr, were u scared?

[skidMark]

Dude, I saw your effort on Saturday night, lol, thank God the internet came along eh.



ahahahahahah gareth just got pwn3d

[skidMark]

I have to agree with this character idea, sort of met Dover at trackdays, must say he looks like what I expected but he was sitting there quitely by himself beside his bike looking like a nice quaint person.

Oh boy am I gonna get my assed kicked for that
yeah ended up having fish and chips with him and spankme in kaiaua once, he was actually like semi nice and stuff ddnt really talk to me...but ddnt kill me either..,.get home add him on msn...

me: hey mate

dover: what the fuck do you want

me: thought i'd say hi

dover: fuck off

me: ok then cya.

silly question what do you lot think of me in person am i anything like on here some people say i am some say i aint,

apparently i talk too much ? lol

[What?]

I invented me, and now me is I.
Or summit.
Check my sig.

[NordieBoy]

Im known all round the real world as --Nothing hidden

Well Mr Hidden, it'd be hard to hide on that bike :D

[MotoGirl]

Check my sig.
Nice! Rock up to Drivers on a Thursday and make some new, not boring friends!

[merv]

OMG, that's very kind! I thought most people just kind of tolerated my bullshit. My dear hubby on the other hand, does actually have half a brain! LOL

I've certainly found in the few times I've seen you that you talk more than he does, but I wouldn't class it as bullshit on here or in person - you always remain nice and friendly and so does he. That's what life should be about - having fun.

[KATWYN]

Well i'm here warts and all. I try to be myself on and off line.

Although i'm careful not to swear online etc :innocent: - as I don't particulary want that part of my "character" forever immortilized in cyber space.

[vifferman]

It’s becoming increasingly obvious to me that some KB members hide behind a fictional character when they post on KB.
Meh.
I don't have a fictional character, not since SpankMe/Joni killed GoatFood. And farQ2.
And Beelzebub.
And the other personae I can't recall.

If anything, I'm toned down for on here, and delete/censor some of my posts.
OTOH, I wouldn't be quite the same in person, as I have no personality so people tend to ignore me, and look around the room when I speak as if wondering where the disembodied voice was coming from.

[ManDownUnder]

Help Colapop swallowed me...

Like this (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=autofellatio)??? That's a talent!

As for my KB charater - yaaa - what you see is what you get. I'm a bit more mouthy in here than in real life because there's no-one to talk over the top of in here... I can type all manner of shit.

I'm the rude, crude, nice guy, wannabe philanthropic philosopher fascinated with the human condition and desperately in search of a laugh 24x7.

Oh and I like a beer too (something else I can't do online)

[terbang]

Me?
What you read is what I am, straight-up.:yes:

BTW I'm not as nice as my KB name.



He's really much nicer in person, makes a delicious rabbit dish..

[skelstar]

Same online as offline I'm afraid. When I'm grumpy offline, I'm grumpy online (not the other way around). I try and remind myself that KB is not real life.

Met a few (most?) of the more extreme characters from KB and in most cases they are quite different, or more rounded in real life (no fat jokes!).

Its intriguing to see what personas people assume when they are on KB. It seems that there are some very distinct flavours eh?

Oh yeah....I think the Kendogs rock! :rockon:

[KATWYN]

I try and remind myself that KB is not real life.



I reakon it is real life ??
Also going on a KB biker ride, with all my fellow cyber buddies felt pretty real to me

[DMNTD]

I'm the same in person as I am here...I hope.
Ya know....sweet and innocent
Sorry about that

[skelstar]

I reakon it is real life ??
I bet you read the newspaper thinking thats a true representation too! ;)

Sure, real life has been enriched by KB for me, but I'd be wrong to take KB too seriously. Like I said, I've met some Kbers in real life that are no-way as much of a cnut as they are online.

[KATWYN]

I bet you read the newspaper thinking thats a true representation too! ;)

Sure, real life has been enriched by KB for me, but I'd be wrong to take KB too seriously. Like I said, I've met some Kbers in real life that are no-way as much of a cnut as they are online.

Yes, EVERYTHING the newspaper and media says IS true :laugh:

[Joni]

I always thoughts I was the same online as I am offline...

But my good mate OAB commented the other day that I do come across a lot harder online than I do in person... because people who know me know Im a real softie really!

But as of late I have been called a bitch so much... that if thats what people want to think, then go for it! Im over worrying what people on this site who have never met me think of me... if you feel happy to judge a person by the style of typing words, then you the arse not me.

[skelstar]

But as of late I have been called a bitch so much...
Considering the role you have Joni it's not surprising. I'd expect you wouldn't have the same reaction if you were just one of the plebs in sector 7G like us.

Besides, you should be listening to your friends and people you know...not the randoms trying to be something online. Who knows...

[KATWYN]

But as of late I have been called a bitch so much... .


Oh my goodness, Joni....is a B****, take it as a compliment

The anagram we all know as

"Babe In Total Control of Herself"

[MSTRS]

I'm not sure that I'm the same on- and off-line. I probably take the piss on here more than for real, but I'll also be just as helpful to those that need it. I certainly enjoy the personalities of bikers - somehow, they are more 'real' than non-riders - be that on here or in person. I try to be 18 in outlook, but (unfortunately?) that's factored by almost 50 years of life.

[MotoGirl]

Its intriguing to see what personas people assume when they are on KB. It seems that there are some very distinct flavours eh?

I agree 100 percent. There are many other flavours, such as nice, innocent, naive etc, but they're overshadowed by some of the more bitter flavours!

[MSTRS]

Oh my goodness, Joni....is a B****, take it as a compliment

The anagram we all know as

"Babe In Total Control of Herself"

Oi you!! That's Back In The Censored House

[KATWYN]

Oi you!! That's Back In The Censored House


*scratches head* ?? :scratch: (non comprehenday)

[MotoGirl]

But as of late I have been called a bitch so much... that if thats what people want to think, then go for it! Im over worrying what people on this site who have never met me think of me... if you feel happy to judge a person by the style of typing words, then you the arse not me.

The people calling you a “bitch” are just resistant to change, and they’re upset because you’re reining them in after they’ve had so long to run free. :yes: I'll judge you by your typing, but I see you as being gutsy and looking out for the best interests of all Kiwi Bikers.

I know this is off-topic, but hey, someone has to say it.
I’m pleased to see both you and the other mods taking action! I don’t say this because I’m pro-mods; I say it because someone needs to give this forum some TLC. For long-term sustainability of this community, KB needs to be a fair playground, which is what you mods are trying to achieve. :rockon:

In the meantime, let them call you a bitch. I’m sure there’s a huge following for what you guys do here, although we may not say that we appreciate it. :done:

Edit: Let me just add that I'm a member of multiple online forums and Kiwi Biker is one of the most relaxed forums I've participated in. You can harp on about the Nazi mods to your heart's content, but baby you got it easy here.

[tri boy]

My Avatar is a cartoon image of a Brent. (wild Canadian goose).
My name is Brent. People call me Brent.
I am a goose.:spudwave: :p

[kiwifruit]

My name is weasil, im silver with black stripes.
I have a spotty tummy.
Cold cuts and rolling in the grass are amongst my favourite things.

[Beemer]

I always thoughts I was the same online as I am offline...

But my good mate OAB commented the other day that I do come across a lot harder online than I do in person... because people who know me know Im a real softie really!

But as of late I have been called a bitch so much... that if thats what people want to think, then go for it! Im over worrying what people on this site who have never met me think of me... if you feel happy to judge a person by the style of typing words, then you the arse not me.

Same here, Joni! I have been given quite a lot of shit on this site for my views and some of it has got very personal and nasty. I am sure none of these people would act like this to my face (although a few threatened it - I'm still waiting!) but they think nothing of abusing me online.

In person I am not the type to make comments I think will hurt people and tend to keep any negative views to myself. That's probably where the two differ as my online self will say out loud the things I would like to say but don't, for fear of upsetting anyone. I'm probably like MSTRS in that respect - I would take the piss on here more than in real life.

It does bother me sometimes if people attack ME rather than my views, but I'm beginning to realise that not everyone on this site or any other internet site is necessarily representing their true selves. I've met some lovely people off here and I've met a few who I've done no more than exchange a few words with and don't want to go any further. That's where it resembles real life a bit - you don't expect to get on with everyone you meet!

I think the hard part about posting on here is that people only read your words and have no idea of the background to your views, your tone of voice, etc. In the flesh you get to talk back and forth but here, by the time you have posted something and someone has misunderstood (either deliberately or innocently) what you've said, you've been red-repped, flamed and told your mother is a cunt, all within five minutes! And what is with the shit you get from people who disagree with you? It's a free world, why can't we just agree to disagree?

Unfortunately there are some people on here who I will never be prepared to change my mind about, no matter how many others come out in support of them. Others I have changed my opinion of after PMs or back and forth banter on the message boards, but there are some people you just have to walk away from and decide it's not worth it.

[Grahameeboy]

I am just me.....................

[MSTRS]

....I have been given quite a lot of shit on this site for my views and some of it has got very personal and nasty. I am sure none of these people would act like this to my face (although a few threatened it - I'm still waiting!) but they think nothing of abusing me online.....

....I think the hard part about posting on here is that people only read your words and have no idea of the background to your views, your tone of voice, etc. ....

Succinctly put. True for more members than not, I suspect.

[Grahameeboy]

Succinctly put. True for more members than not, I suspect.

Yeah I though that your avator was a true likeness and when I met you you had a long goatie............

[yod]

I'm the same off line, always sitting on my hands.

must be pretty difficult to ride yer bike then?? :laugh:

hows that stadium coming along?? :dodge:

[MSTRS]

Yeah I though that your avator was a true likeness and when I met you you had a long goatie............

Diametrically opposed to ColaPop, I have a fat, bald, extrovert screaming to be let out....

[Grahameeboy]

must be pretty difficult to ride yer bike then?? :laugh:

hows that stadium coming along?? :dodge:

Yep, he uses something else to steer apparantly............

[yod]

Yep, he uses something else to steer apparantly............

...now THATS clever!!

[Grahameeboy]

...now THATS clever!!

Yep, has to be seen to be believed.......it is like a swiss army knife as it has other uses too..........although I hear it is limited to riding the bike at moment.

I could have said "Only dicks ride Honda's"....but a) I don't mean it and b) he also has a Suzuki..................

[yod]

Yep, has to be seen to be believed.......it is like a swiss army knife as it has other uses too..........although I hear it is limited to riding the bike at moment.

I could have said "Only dicks ride Honda's"....but a) I don't mean it and b) he also has a Suzuki..................

and c) you're actually scared of Honda riders (we can be pretty scary y'know)

[Grahameeboy]

and c) you're actually scared of Honda riders (we can be pretty scary y'know)

Nah.....just Boomer.................

[vifferman]

Im actually a cock.
You don't say?:whistle:

[The Pastor]

You don't say?:whistle:

hardy har har.........

[_Gina_]

I am me everywhere, work, online, in person, I am a smart arsed bitch :innocent:

[BuFfY]

I think I might be slightly different online. It is much easier to put your opinion across when most people reading it have no idea what you look like, and as a result can't try to run you down!
It is very interesting meeting people from online, and a lot that I have met have been slightly different than in person (maybe more confident in themselves?)

[Disco Dan]

You all want to take a guess here? :innocent:

Pervy womanising Englishman.

Offline? The perfect English Gentleman :yes:

[ManDownUnder]

You all want to take a guess here? :innocent:

Pervy womanising Englishman.

Offline? The perfect English Gentleman :yes:

na - young guy, nice guy, finding his way in the world. (hey - you asked)

[Grub]

:killingme I just pissed myself


Here's some help (http://www.adultdiapers.org/mosuplsut.html) I know, I know, I shouldn't go so far out of my way to help people all the time but it's in my nature.

[MotoGirl]

I think I might be slightly different online. It is much easier to put your opinion across when most people reading it have no idea what you look like, and as a result can't try to run you down!
I'm yet to have someone on KB criticise my physical appearance. I wouldn't put it past a few people here, but realistically there's no point in stooping that low because this isn't reality!

[Biff]

Same here, Joni! I have been given quite a lot of shit on this site for my views and some of it has got very personal and nasty.

Yup - I've found some of your opinions sickening over the last year or so (but you know this), and you've been a hyprocrit to boot, and I would tell you this to your face. That doesnt mean I think any less of you though, because I didn't think much of you in the first place, because I don't know you, as you're just a name on a computer screen with opinions I find disturbing. But I have formed an opinion of your KB persona anyway. In real life you may be a nice lady.

But it's the cowards and the lazy bastards among us who would choose to hurl personal insults as oppossed to attempting to discuss and counter your biggotry (IMO) in a constructive manner.

:sunny:

[Phurrball]

Seem to have got a reputation as site hippie...no idea why:shutup:

Sometimes there's an element of devil's advocate (if people are 'asking' for it!) - but usually not.

If I have a character, it's an extension of me, rather than an alternative.

The opinions are real, but I'd be more circumspect putting them out there IRL.

Can't say I care IRL whether a person is left-wing, right-wing, no-wing, socially conservative or liberal...only that they are a good person worth knowing, with opinions they can back up (doesn't matter how) - what's heated rhetoric between friends? (Fun mebbe??)

Personal insults and abuse never get you anywhere (doesn't mean a little well directed sarcasm is out of order :innocent: ) - I make a point of green-repping people I vehemently disagree with if they make a good point.

BEsides - I can't be THAT much of a hippie...after all, I used to genetically modify stuff for my MSc project...There's always more dimensions to a person than that which is on display online.

Ross.

[BuFfY]

I'm yet to have someone on KB criticise my physical appearance. I wouldn't put it past a few people here, but realistically there's no point in stooping that low because this isn't reality!

Oh I didn't mean people criticise what I look like, just that on KB you can say whatever you want and will hardly ever see anyone that hears what you say (or reads it). Where as in the case of my uni where we do a lot of discussing... I am less likely to put the same points across because some people in those classes would take it very personally and would hunt me down!

[Beemer]

Yup - I've found some of your opinions sickening over the last year or so (but you know this), and you've been a hyprocrit to boot, and I would tell you this to your face. That doesnt mean I think any less of you though, because I didn't think much of you in the first place, because I don't know you, as you're just a name on a computer screen with opinions I find disturbing. But I have formed an opinion of your KB persona anyway. In real life you may be a nice lady.

But it's the cowards and the lazy bastards among us who would choose to hurl personal insults as oppossed to attempting to discuss and counter your biggotry (IMO) in a constructive manner.

:sunny:

Gosh, and there I was thinking this was NOT one of those threads...! I have agreed with a lot of what you have said in the past and enjoyed your posts on a number of occasions. I didn't realise that only went one way and that you didn't think much of me to start with.

Oh well, as one wise woman here has said before, the day I start caring in a big way what people on an online forum think of me, that's the day I know I've lost the plot!

[KoroJ]

I haven't spotted any comments on this thread from The Dover.....is that 'cos he's really a 'nice little boy?'

[KATWYN]

I haven't spotted any comments on this thread from The Dover.....is that 'cos he's really a 'nice little boy?'

Isn't he in the sin bin or something at the moment, him and a few others???

What the heck is a sin bin anyway ? and what do ya have to do to get sent to it?

[Lissa]

I don't try to be anything different on KB then I am in real life but I think in real life I am alot quieter and shy, and dont talk all that much... but on KB Ive racked up more than 1000 posts... most of it utter shat. Not sure what thats says about my 'KB Character'....

Online I am also quite honest about my lack of biking skills, I am defintely like that in real life! :yes:

[cowpoos]

Comments from certain motorcycle club officials . I yam who I yam --the Frosty on Kb is the same Frosty as i race by and Im known all round the real world as --Nothing hidden

tis true people....he's blows his own trumpet just as much on hear as he does in real life!!!!!! lmao!!!

[cowpoos]

I have to agree with this character idea, sort of met Dover at trackdays, must say he looks like what I expected but he was sitting there quitely by himself beside his bike looking like a nice quaint person.

Oh boy am I gonna get my assed kicked for that

he must have been stoned!!

[cowpoos]

I'm probably a bit rowdier on here than in real life, mostly cause you cant hear me over the racquet CowPoos is making.

why did you write my name like that with the capital P in the middle?? are you trying to make the people with lisps spit when they say my name....

Speaking of which...who was the cruel prick that names lisp???? I mean??? WTF?

[cowpoos]

i'm a quiet introvert in real life

[merv]

So poos do you have to drink Tui for Dutch courage then to become a fake extrovert?

[merv]

Gosh, and there I was thinking this was NOT one of those threads...! I have agreed with a lot of what you have said in the past and enjoyed your posts on a number of occasions. I didn't realise that only went one way and that you didn't think much of me to start with.

Oh well, as one wise woman here has said before, the day I start caring in a big way what people on an online forum think of me, that's the day I know I've lost the plot!

So was Biff really talking about you or did she mean Joni?

Now I haven't met Joni so I can't possibly bag her, but Beemer I've met you quite a few times and just can't imagine how anyone could think that of you - you've always been friendly to me and I can't imagine you having a bad bone in your body or have you been saying things to people I haven't noticed?

[cowpoos]

So poos do you have to drink Tui for Dutch courage then to become a fake extrovert?
no...not at all...I drink tui because it is an excellent supliment...I use it as soon as I feel like there is to much blood in my alchoal system :)

[Lissa]

i'm a quiet introvert in real life
Yea I would agree with that... now wheres the Jelly???

What I really want to know is HOW you managed to get yourself in the sin bin..

[cowpoos]

Yea I would agree with that... now wheres the Jelly???

What I really want to know is HOW you managed to get yourself in the sin bin..
piss off its my jelly!!!!


and I got in the sin bin for being a disrespectful twat to a dear friend!!

[Guitana]

I'm just angry coz my scout leader used to touch me when I was a young boy!!!

[skelstar]

i'm a quiet introvert in real life
Like fuck you are. I see you're not invisible now poo-man? ...guess you're uncool like the rest of us now.... :shutup:

I'm off to cowpoos profile to see what he's doing RIGHT NOW....

[Coyote]

I'm like myself on here. Say a lot of shit that goes largely unnoticed. Or just watch from the sidelines :p

[Guitana]

I'm like myself on here. Say a lot of shit that goes largely unnoticed. Or just watch from the sidelines :p

Fence sitter eh???????? Get in the mix you aint havin fun till your cp is dripping with red rep!!!!!!

[MotoGirl]

I'm like myself on here. Say a lot of shit that goes largely unnoticed. Or just watch from the sidelines :p

It's often the quiet ones who pack the best punches :shutup:

[PHAT240]

:whocares: I just liked the picture!

[sels1]

I type....therefore I am!
(Apologies to Descartes)

[chanceyy]

I am who I am .. no different in real or on the net .. but then those who know me well can be the judge of that.. :yes:


Nickname is a memorial .. & I am chanceyy everywhere .. do not need to hide behind differing names

The hard part of deciphering the written word is to know the intent behind it & ones own interpretation of it .. some on here need to take a chill pill at times but hey they can live in the fantasy world, the real world is the only one I am interested in

Have met some great ppl off this site, made some awesome friends & have riding buddies .. so life is good :D

[Storm]

I'm almost the same loud mouthed fulla who talks too much on here as I am in real life. Funnily enough, I dont bother getting in as many arguments on here as I do in real life, since, as Jim2 once said-" arguing on the net is like being in the special oplympics- even if you win, you're still retarded"
Also, there are a few folk on here who can sling shit much faster and better than I, so I keeps my opinions to myself.
I use the name Storm as thats my nickname at work, so I answer to both names

[McJim]

I'm The_Dover...McJim is just a nick name to avoid the sin bin....hey bro pass me another gixxer/can of piss (delete as appropriate)

[CM2005]

really McJim? lol, i dunno aanyway.. i talk alot about bikes. in the real world and KB, i'm a two stroke fanatic on life, whereas on KB i talk bout lotsa bikes. i pass on generally misinformed and occasionally useless info, but sometimes i come up with good stuff. if u came to the buucket race meet you woulda seen my cool zebra leathers. i'm an unskilled showoff, and i have an occasionally sharp wit and intellect.


" the details of my life are quite inconsequential"

[Biff]

and that you didn't think much of me to start with.


Apologies - you missed my twist.

The first post I ever read of yours I was appalled by what you said. I immediately judged Beemer, and as I didn't know you I had no opinion of you, other than being a name on my computer screen. So as I had no opinion of you - you could only go down in my estimations.

But as I said earlier - you may very well be a decent person in 'real' life.

Bit heavy...but hey...Happy Dayz :sunny:

[Deviant Esq]

Interesting thread.

I'm pretty well the same in person as online - a bit too opinionated, talk a little bit too much, and, much as I hate it but it's probably true anyway - maybe seeking acceptance a bit too much as well. :doh:

I'm really not much of a deviant in person, no more so than any other biker worth his / her salt :innocent: More of an esquire. Who likes beer. I suppose online I try not to appear like I'm stealing someone else's thunder online. I mean, most KBers would recognise Colapop as the KB cuddler... I'm a cuddler in real life too, but I don't like to mention it on KB because it'd be shifting in on Cola's turf. Um, shit. Better run! :chase:

Yep, met a couple of people in person who seemed to be totally different to how they were online, but as others have said I've yet to meet a KBer in person I haven't got along with. There's a couple online I feel like punching sometimes, but I doubt I'd punch them if I met them in person.

Maybe use a 2 x 4 instead... :dodge:

[carver]

the hamilton loose ewe-nit really are useless n00bs that cant ride for shit, and bin alot.

[cowboyz]

no I am not going to do it...

yes I am

no I am not

yes I am

No I am not

Ok... you have made me quote DR PHIL......... The only show I have ever seen of his (promise) he said something I thought was entertaining and worthwhile....

You wouldn't care what people thought of you if you realised how seldom they do.

[Edbear]

What was that famous saying? "If we could see ourselves as others see us! (We'd probably never speak to them again!)"

[Hitcher]

What was that famous saying? "If we could see ourselves as others see us!"

“Oh wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursel's as others see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
And foolish notion.”

(Brought to you by the Kiwi Biker Serious Burns Unit)

[merv]

(Brought to you by the Kiwi Biker Serious Burns Unit)

Ah have you done something to yourself that I've missed?

[Hitcher]

“What signifies the life o' man, An' 'twere na for the lasses O”

[cowpoos]

“What signifies the life o' man, An' 'twere na for the lasses O”
are you loosing your marbles hitch???

[MotoGirl]

are you loosing your marbles hitch???

I'm sure there's a perfectly valid point in there. We just need to translate it...

[Riff Raff]

It's sad when people can't recognise the work of Scotland's greatest poet. What an uncouth lot.

[MotoGirl]

It's sad when people can't recognise the work of Scotland's greatest poet. What an uncouth lot.

*Confirms this isn't the Kiwi Poets forum* Us bikers aren't known for our sophistication! :rofl:

[ManDownUnder]

It's sad when people can't recognise the work of Scotland's greatest poet. What an uncouth lot.

McJim posted one of his poems in here..?? ALL RIGHT!

[Maha]

It's sad when people can't recognise the work of Scotland's greatest poet. What an uncouth lot.

You mean ....McBeth?....naaa Must be Robbie Burns?....McBeth was a playwrite right?

[MSTRS]

You mean ....McBeth?....naaa Must be Robbie Burns?....McBeth was a playwrite right?

It's Rabbie d'ye hear. Pshw... ye sorry excuse of an Antipodean.

[Maha]

It's Rabbie d'ye hear. Pshw... ye sorry excuse of an Antipodean.


Havent you got work to do?......MSTRISS.....:cool:

[MSTRS]

Havent you got work to do?......MSTRISS.....:cool:

Och aye an' awae w'ye the noo

[Hitcher]

McBeth was a playwrite right?

Sigh. We've done this before. Playwright. Based on the word "wrought", like a wheelwright or a cartwright. And, double sigh, Shakespeare was the playwright who wrote McBeth (the Scottish play). Not to be confused with Robbie Burns, THE Scottish poet.

(Brought to you, in the interests of public safety, as a joint-venture between the BDOTGNZA and the Kiwi Biker Serious Burns Unit)

Anyway, who took this thread seriously off topic?

[Edbear]

Anyway, who took this thread seriously off topic?




Not me!:sunny:

[Maha]

Cant have been me either.....i just cocked up what i had to say....but that was my Character not meeeee.....:innocent:

[Ocean1]

Sooo... some of you seem to be saying you think you're actually really real :confused:




I thought you ghosts all just lived inside my machine... :blink:

[Edbear]

Sooo... some of you seem to be saying you think you're actually really real :confused:




I thought you ghosts all just lived inside my machine... :blink:



Oh, we're real! :Punk: And we're watching you....:yes:

[Grahameeboy]

Oh, we're real! :Punk: And we're watching you....:yes:

Yeah, Mr 20 Poster.............

[MotoGirl]

Cant have been me either.....i just cocked up what i had to say....but that was my Character not meeeee.....:innocent:

Nice save to bring it back on topic! This waffle just proves that some members can switch on a Scottish character...

[Dilligaf]

Sigh. We've done this before. Playwright. Based on the word "wrought", like a wheelwright or a cartwright. And, double sigh, Shakespeare was the playwright who wrote McBeth (the Scottish play). Not to be confused with Robbie Burns, THE Scottish poet.

(Brought to you, in the interests of public safety, as a joint-venture between the BDOTGNZA and the Kiwi Biker Serious Burns Unit)

Anyway, who took this thread seriously off topic?

GAH!!! The first time it was written as McBeth I thought that you Hitcher, you illustrious BTZonga or whatever it is, would surely have picked up on the error.... But alas, no...
You philistines!!! It is Macbeth.... gottit?

Sheesh!

[cowpoos]

I'm sure there's a perfectly valid point in there. We just need to translate it...
translate...hmm...good point....wheres a smurf when ya need one!!

[Ocean1]

You philistines!!! It is Macbeth.... gottit? Sheesh!

Macbeth... Macbeth, right:

TAE A FERT

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind.
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin' all ower the place.
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'bodys gonnae have tae pay
Even if ye try to stifle, It's like a bullet oot a rifle.
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek.
But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap a thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me, a sonic boom!
God almighty it fairly reeks;
Hope I huvnae ---- ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aw whit the hell, its no ma worry.
A'bodyroon aboot me chokin,
Wan or two are nearly bokin
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile.
Wis him! I shout with accusin glower,
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
I dinnae feel welcome any mair.
Where ere ye go let yer wind gan free
Sounds like just the job fur me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's perty
Ower the sake o won wee ferty.


Now thats cultcha mate :niceone:

[skidMark]

jesus christ he talks like Mc Jim

[Hitcher]

Now thats cultcha mate

The Kiwi Biker Serious Burns Unit applauds!

[CM2005]

Aye, bling laddie!

[KoroJ]

TAE A FERT

Now thats cultcha mate :niceone:

I thought you must have slept with the light on to come up with that, but looking at the time of your post, you obviously don't sleep.

Best laugh I've had since I heard The Dover went to the bin.

[skidMark]

wtf r u lot on about?

[Ocean1]

you obviously don't sleep.

Any mair o yur lip an ah'll take ma haun aff yur face.

Sleep? right, "perchance to dream". Fuck that, ever woke up screaming and then noticed you're not asleep?

OK... (rummages in atic)

Oor school's a guid wan, it's made o' brick and plaister,
The only thing that's wrang wi' it's, the baldy heided maister,
He goes to the pub on a Seturday night,
He goes to church on Sunday,
He prays tae goad tae gie him strength,
To belt the weans oan Monday.

[skidMark]

your on some serious P man

[MidnightMike]

your on some serious P man

I think he's just scottish. :shutup:

[Ocean1]

The Kiwi Biker Serious Burns Unit applauds!

SBU?... SBU... rummage...

This?

A doctor arrives for his first day at a new hospital, deep in the Welsh valleys. He is met by one of the sisters, who has been given the task of showing him around the hospital and introducing him to the staff and patients.

It is a large hospital and it takes the whole day to get round. The time approaches for the evening meal as they arrive at the last ward. They follow the dinner trolley into the ward and wait while one of the nurses lifts the lid on the food tray. To the doctor's surprise there is but a single haggis on the tray to feed a whole ward.

One of the patients moves towards the trolley in a purposeful manner addressing the haggis:

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

Before he can reach the haggis another patient sprints forward, grabs the simple repast and dashes up the ward. He proudly holds the haggis aloft and cries out in a commanding voice:

Some hae meat and cannae eat.
Some cannae eat that want it:
But we hae meat and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.

At this, a kilted dervish leaps from his bed, whips a skien dubh out of his sock and lunges at the haggis carrier. With a deft movement the haggis bearer fends off the flashing blade with the haggis. Although this prevents any injury it does result in the top of the haggis being hacked off. A small mouse waiting upon this obviously routine event dashes out from under a bed, grabs the loose piece of haggis and scampers up the ward, running the gauntlet of slashing claymores and hurled dirks from various patients. At the end of the ward stands a bent and wizened old man with a wild fire in his eyes. He screams at the mouse:

Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an chase thee,
Wi murdering pattle!

And then dives upon the mouse. With a left dummy and a right feint, the mouse dodges between the old man's legs, through a hole in the skirting board and to safety with his prize. The doctor turns to the sister and asks, "Why is this psychiatric ward full of Scotsmen?"

"Oh no, doctor, these are not Scotsmen, they are genuine valley dwellers born and bred", she replies, "and, anywa, this is not a psychiatric ward, it is the serious Burns unit"

[_Gina_]

Ahem, ahem, me mother has gone to church
She told me not to play with you because you're in the dirt
It isn't because you're dirty, it isn't because you're clean
It's because you've got the whooping cough and eat margarine!

[Hitcher]

SBU?... SBU... rummage...

This?

That indeed. You seem to meet the requisite standard for membership. In fact you could be the Great Chieftain!

[Ocean1]

Ahem, ahem, me mother has gone to church
She told me not to play with you because you're in the dirt
It isn't because you're dirty, it isn't because you're clean
It's because you've got the whooping cough and eat margarine!

Irish Catholic by any chance?


That indeed. You seem to meet the requisite standard for membership. In fact you could be the Great Chieftain!

“By his loins shall ye know him and by the length of his rod” (carefull with the zip...)

[McJim]

So what's wrong with pretending to be Scottish online?

Everyone should have aspirations I think - my bike is naturally aspirated for example.

Funny how many people are nice and mild mannered in reality and yet cruel bastards online and here I am - pleasant and affable online and a Glaswegian Debt Collector in reality.
C Glesga?
C ma heid?
CU Jimmy?
CU NT

Stand up straight wee man ti ah put the heid in ye.

(Anyone who claims Glaswegians call Glasgow "Glasgae" can have a free broken nose byraway. It has always been Glesga! Glasgae is what the English folk fae Embra call Glasgow)

[pritch]

Macbeth... Macbeth, right:

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie


Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face
Great chieftain of the puddin' race
Aboon them a' ye tak your bling

[_Gina_]

Irish Catholic by any chance?
:innocent:
Yeah, mothers side are Brennan's. :)

[Ocean1]

:innocent:
Yeah, mothers side are Brennan's. :)

:D Dia duit.

[_Gina_]

:D Dia duit.
Sláinte :drinknsin