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View Full Version : Travelling to the Toeranges and Teetering on the Edge of Madness!



gijoe1313
13th May 2007, 20:17
Righto, the crew that went out to the Toeranges (Tauranga) this saturday just past were :

gijoe1313 (general ne'er do well and with delusions of grandeur)
Donor (hapless dogsbody with perchance for sugary, ginger, carbonated products)
Insane1 (mad person who flips burgers with alarming results)
Tide (young, naive waif who obviously didn't know the company he would be riding with!)

As usual, I made a plan of travel in detail, promptly balled the paper I wrote it down on and threw it over my shoulder (road trips never survive contact with reality).

Did I mention 6.30am start? Try 7.30am waiting for Hirepool to hire trailer to fool (we are hirefools *chortle*)

Got a text from Tide in his ominous Afrikan accent - who was I to deny his rights to a pootle?

Huzzah! Finally got to BP Autobahn Papakura after we worked out that the left indicator on trailer was kaput! We reversed the film "Every which way but loose" where I was Clyde and would make a fist out the window for "left turn" hur hur :drool:

Bloody lot of bikers there - must have been a good day for a ride! Insane1 was there and Tide turned up. Fuel to go and off we went!

Tide took point with his unique L-plate with tyre burn on it, Donor and I were the main body ... oh, alright, Donor is the main body! :whistle: And his sprogling fruit was strapped in the legal child restraint.

Insane1 was TEC.

Plenty of stops on the way, Tide texting us "where are you?" and I swore I could detect an Afrikaan accent there! :msn-wink: Paeroa came and went, got to Katikati and saw plenty of moron cagers doing stupid overtakes ... only for us to pass them when they turned 50m down the road :rofl:

As we drew near, txt DMNTD :eek5: and he promptly laughed at us ... we got lost on Manganui rd due to me holding the map the wrong way round (I blame the asian in me!) and finally got to GP Motorcycles.

I was explaining to Donor about how DMNTD would make his appearance. At the bridge over the water, caught at the roundabout I said
"DMNTD will roar up here lanesplitting at 100kph, he'll go over the roundabout and split up the biker's lane (the yellow lines)"

10 seconds later. He did exactly that!
Look on Donor's face : priceless

And then it was my turn to look like Donor :gob:
Unit did exactly the same.

Drool fest and bike porn fiesta commenced. The lads at GP were most excellent and allowed us to put copius amounts of saliva and other body excretions on show room models. Insane1 was looking at the Honda Goldwing and we all chortled over the doodads and whatchamacallits in plethora on it!

Found a nice little off roader for Donor's Young Sausage Sprogling (we had been making jokes how we were getting him ready for a nice chinese dish!)

I almost bought another bike along with the siezed RD250R we were picking up :o

DMNTD and Unit were most excellent. Also turning up were two Kawasaki riders on green machines who we spotted at BP Autobahn! :lol:

Good yak, Tide tied down Dandi, Donor got the learn by Unit on how to back a trailer (she took away his man card!) :rofl:

We all took off to the Toeranger's KB haunt and had lunch. Much hilarity with DMNTD and Unit holding court as we mere mortals munched on vittles and listened in awe of the legends we sat with

And then we all buggered off home. Nothing much to say 'cept we had to re-tie down Dandi three or four times and called Tide filthy names - if you want something done right... (all good Tide :msn-wink:)

Hit Waikato expressway around 4.50pm and then proceeded to start work on Dandi (another thread this will be, Yoda speak, shall I) Tide had well and truly buggered off (that ho-ho in go fasta red!)

And on the way back ... we saw the two green Kawasakis! Much joy and relief ensued, I was twisting Donor's nipple to ensure he stayed awake and keeping up the usual patter of banter that passes for rapier with between us ("Did so. Did not. Did so so. Did did not....")

(the part about the nipple isn't true... but it could easily have been!)

Highlights of trip :

Singing the Ma-nuh Ma-nuh song, the wheels on the bus go round and round, Fraggle rock, Bohemian Rhapsody...

DMNTD and INJECTED for being wonderful hosts.

Tide's L-plate of curvature weirdness.

Insane1's enthusiasm to ride right to the end with us!

Photo1 : Dandi being stropped on by a strapping Afrikaaner that stripped to strap the strops ... ok, I'll strop that ... er stop now
Photo2 : A rather tasteless shot of Tide's rear shock absorbers
Photo3 : DMTND looking on and thinking "what the bleed'n 'ell 'ave I let myself in for 'ere?"
Photo4 : Unit just before she takes away Donor's man card.

gijoe1313
13th May 2007, 20:22
And here are some more offending images that are sure to make one hurl one's content of stomach.

Photo1 : Insane1 caught in good light, God was shining down on him with beautific love, choirs of angels sung hymns to him, clouds parted, waters receded ... and ... ow, I got struck by lightning just now! :pinch:

Photo2 : Little sausage man with future ride in mind. Yes!

Photo3 : "Get that camera away from me, I will burn down your kraal and make your All Blacks lose!"

Photo4 : "If only I could get that con-rod out of my tight bits"

Photo5 : A thief who mistakenly thought that Dandi was in running order. Was sorted out by dragging behind trailer back to Dorkland.

Donor
14th May 2007, 20:00
Ack - it's true!

I was learned by Unit... learned like the man whore that I am...

Though I do believe I may have reclaimed the rights to my testes which were left in Tronga deeply ensconced in the pocket of the Mistress of Backwards, by successfully reversing said trailer not once, not twice... well yeah actually twice into the Master Pootlers driveway!

The nuding up of the Dandi, now there was a bit of fun.

Between scoffing vast quantities of deep fried goodness cooked by Mr GIJoe1313 himself (I watched, he really CAN cook!) the quaffing of cola flavoured water and much swearing, grunting groaning and other assorted manly expressions of bike nuding, she now looks a little different to the original state in which we uplifted her.

Next step, pull the bottom end apart, and begin the rebuild of her throbbing heart!

Oh, and other stuff like electrics, frame rehabilitation, brake rebuilds, paint splashing and other things what is all for the better good...

Only downer of the night, Zeocen suffering a horrendous and disfiguring injury at the claws of the Dandi - serves him right for putting the moves on her in her delicate state!

Rock on next session, though I believe Daisy could use some love... after all, a certain pair of forks have been laying on the deck awaiting seals for the last many weeks *cough*

Summary:

Tide - the Ho Ho is sexy... let nobody tell you otherwise!
Insane1 - you're fucking mad. But we luff you anyway.
DMNTD - you're fucking mad. 'nuff said.
Unit - be careful with my cajones, they're sensitive you know!
GI - words cannot express...
Zeocen - lefty loosey, righty tighty! snigger...

DMNTD
14th May 2007, 20:30
DMNTD - you're fucking mad. 'nuff said.
Mate I'm innocence personified :innocent:
BTW... :nya: :shake: :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :rofl:

Maha
14th May 2007, 20:42
Photo1 : Insane1 caught in good light, God was shining down on him with beautific love, choirs of angels sung hymns to him, clouds parted, waters receded ...


Thats is no way poetic.....its just....:puke:....High7...:Punk:
Now had ya'll taken some harden up pills and shown ya mugs at the Kopu your eyes would have feasted on proper angelic persona....:innocent:

Waylander
14th May 2007, 20:43
Thats is no way poetic.....its just....:puke:....High7...:Punk:
Now had ya'll taken some harden up pills and shown ya mugs at the Kopu your eyes would have feasted on proper angelic persona....:innocent:
Mom was there?

gijoe1313
14th May 2007, 20:46
Now now lads, cheap shots and sniggering behind people's backs whilst deriding their manhood is below us!

Just remember, two wheels of freedom is exactly that! We are free! Free to cast dispersions on riding ability, choice of ride, biking gear selection, the way you stand and how you breath! Ahhh , I find reading KB narrows and widens my understanding immeasurably!

Yep - I think DMNTD and Unit are onto you Donor, they know someone who has to lose what is left of his dignity and pride! I lost mine a long way back on the side of the road 44990km's ago (I rode with the Dover! :sick: :o :pinch:)

Now I am busy trolling 'tardme for bits for Dandi ... and abroad! Huzzah! I can feel my credit card burning now! :eek5:

Donor
14th May 2007, 20:47
Thats is no way poetic.....its just....:puke:....High7...:Punk:
Now had ya'll taken some harden up pills and shown ya mugs at the Kopu your eyes would have feasted on proper angelic persona....:innocent:

Ah, but for the fact that the hirefool wanted their trailer back in good time, we would have been there to bask in your luminescent glory...

Well actually I just wanted a ginger beer...

As it turns out, with several stops to re-secure Dandi to her chariot, we kinda got back a little on the late side for returning the sodding lump of orange, and were required to pay them a visit on Sunday morn...

Waylander
14th May 2007, 20:48
Forgot you were comming down this way man, else I would have swung by GPHonda and said howdy.

Mom
14th May 2007, 21:09
All I can say is you lot are barking mad!!!!!!!!!........LOL..........and Donor, Unit has been seen giving other certain people a bit of a lesson recently...:innocent:

Waylander you slacker, where were you anyhoo?

Waylander
14th May 2007, 21:12
All I can say is you lot are barking mad!!!!!!!!!........LOL..........and Donor, Unit has been seen giving other certain people a bit of a lesson recently...:innocent:

Waylander you slacker, where were you anyhoo?
probably sleeping.

gijoe1313
14th May 2007, 21:34
Yes, I was hoping Waylander would turn up so I could thump him on the head with a crescent drop forged spanner and put his ride on the trailer as well :devil2: :innocent:

I guess in the end, we shoulda turned up to Kopu :weep: But that's what happens when you take cages! Always ends up expanding time, whereas bikes compress it!

Bikes are like the Tardis, time machines! But also 'Tarding as well since we obsess so much over them. :yes:

Not to worry, I'll be doing my 2190km+ pootle around the lower NI and I'll make sure to say "Herro" in faux asian voice to KBers in local areas :msn-wink:

And it's been a while since I last took my little ol'Hornet around the Kaimais :innocent: (A while means not riding at least 2000kms in a week!)

Mom
14th May 2007, 21:37
Well it was close enough to 6 when we left Kopu, so probably time for you to have got there afterall. Never mind there will be another time no doubt!

DMNTD
14th May 2007, 21:42
And it's been a while since I last took my little ol'Hornet around the Kaimais :innocent:

Well watch THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cLDR4CdWrQ) if ya need to check out what you missed out on on sunday :innocent:

gijoe1313
14th May 2007, 21:52
Well watch THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cLDR4CdWrQ) if ya need to check out what you missed out on on sunday :innocent:

Yep, I did check it out - but I have to say, when I saw you scooching past me the last time on my Hornet out there, I was impressed! Boy howdy! And Waylander riding his machine like a sprotsbiker!

But yeah,seeing the lean on and cornering like Saddam Hussein in a hole was owesome (awesome but more awesome than awesome!) I think Donor would have gotten carried away and be riding his car and trailer like that :eek5:

And I would have gotten carried away by opening the window, crawling along the top of the car, jumping on Dandi on the back and pretend I was cornering like that on the back of the trailer :innocent:

:weep: I knew I should have let Donor languish alone with his little sausage and ridden my little ol'Hornet down!

gijoe1313
14th May 2007, 21:53
Well it was close enough to 6 when we left Kopu, so probably time for you to have got there afterall. Never mind there will be another time no doubt!

Aye, but next time I will be riding two wheels of freedom - unless I find another excuse to buy another two wheels that needs to be trailered! :eek5:

Mrs Busa Pete
14th May 2007, 22:00
Well watch THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cLDR4CdWrQ) if ya need to check out what you missed out on on sunday :innocent:

You posted that who was in the Lead I will have to buy him/her a beer:killingme

DMNTD
14th May 2007, 22:02
You posted that who was in the Lead I will have to buy him/her a beer:killingme

Twas Unit...again :shutup:

Mrs Busa Pete
14th May 2007, 22:05
Twas Unit...again :shutup:

Shit you go girl that deserves more than one beer:killingme mind credit where credit is dew you have taught her bloody well.Bet you regret that now

gijoe1313
14th May 2007, 22:10
I think it's just DMNTD ways to have more opportunity to look at arse bike porn ... in both senses of the word! :innocent: :devil2:

gijoe1313
14th May 2007, 22:10
Shit you go girl that deserves more than one beer:killingme mind credit where credit is dew you have taught her bloody well.Bet you regret that now

And can I have an excuse to go for a ride? Like to come up and see the new ride with MkI eyeball! :lol:

Mrs Busa Pete
14th May 2007, 22:14
I think it's just DMNTD ways to have more opportunity to look at arse bike porn ... in both senses of the word! :innocent: :devil2:

Yep i agree he has been looking and units rear end a lot lately a DMNTD:shutup:

Maha
14th May 2007, 22:15
Twas Unit...again :shutup:

Fuck yeah she is quick, to be waiting at the top, helmet in hand....:second:

Waylander
14th May 2007, 22:44
Yes, I was hoping Waylander would turn up so I could thump him on the head with a crescent drop forged spanner and put his ride on the trailer as well :devil2: :innocent:



lol you don't want my bike. Leaking oil t the moment. Not so bad just going to work and back but looked nasty as on sunday from the ride in those vids Chris linked you to.

It's comming off the road for a few weeks so I can fix it properly.

gijoe1313
15th May 2007, 14:03
lol you don't want my bike. Leaking oil t the moment. Not so bad just going to work and back but looked nasty as on sunday from the ride in those vids Chris linked you to.

It's comming off the road for a few weeks so I can fix it properly.

:gob: Crikey - you been wringing the nuts and gaskets off it haven't ya? Always gets me worried if I see patches of oil around anything :sweatdrop

Must be some major overhauling if it's going to be a couple of weeks! (Not that I can talk, Daisys been without forks for a couple of weeks now! :o)

vifferman
15th May 2007, 14:13
Righto, the crew that went out to the Toeranges (Tauranga) this saturday
Nah, mate - it's now called Roundabout-a, instead of Tauranga.
You know why....

gijoe1313
15th May 2007, 17:11
Nah, mate - it's now called Roundabout-a, instead of Tauranga.
You know why....

I think I call it Toeranges, 'cause that's where the Toeranger lives ... DMNTD... he carves up his toe boot area better than a starving cannibal with a knife!

And that KTM he's gonna get ... he'll be evening out the wear front and back! :shit:

Waylander
15th May 2007, 17:40
:gob: Crikey - you been wringing the nuts and gaskets off it haven't ya? Always gets me worried if I see patches of oil around anything :sweatdrop

Must be some major overhauling if it's going to be a couple of weeks! (Not that I can talk, Daisys been without forks for a couple of weeks now! :o)
Fixing it wont take that long. cleaning it will.