Laava
25th May 2007, 23:16
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
>Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling
>rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio
>station in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
>Hi Sue,
>
>Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
>day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
>thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
>bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore
>you with a few technicalities of my job.
>
>As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
>office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
>we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel-powered industrial water
>heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea,
>heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver
>through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like
>a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
>
>What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
>stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
>water.
>It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
>Everything was going well until all of
a sudden, my bum started to itch.
>So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
>seconds my bum started to burn! I pulled the hose out from my back, but the
>damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
>
>The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
>suit.Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
>stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate. When I
>scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish
>into the crack of my bum.
>
>I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
>divers, were all laughing hysterically Needless to say I aborted the dive.
>
>I was instructed
to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
>totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
>chamber dry decompression.
>
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
>down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as
>soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
>poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
>it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your arse. Now repeat to
>yourself,
>"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
>
>Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
>May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
>Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling
>rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio
>station in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
>experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
>Hi Sue,
>
>Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
>day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
>thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
>bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore
>you with a few technicalities of my job.
>
>As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
>office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
>we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel-powered industrial water
>heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea,
>heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver
>through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like
>a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
>
>What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
>stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
>water.
>It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
>Everything was going well until all of
a sudden, my bum started to itch.
>So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
>seconds my bum started to burn! I pulled the hose out from my back, but the
>damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
>
>The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
>suit.Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
>stick to it. However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate. When I
>scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish
>into the crack of my bum.
>
>I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
>divers, were all laughing hysterically Needless to say I aborted the dive.
>
>I was instructed
to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
>totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
>chamber dry decompression.
>
>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
>down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum as
>soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
>poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.
>
>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
>it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your arse. Now repeat to
>yourself,
>"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
>
>Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
>May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!